My sweet, sweet little Lina… why have you forsaken me…?

 

I stare melancholically at my sister's corpse, praying she is happier in Paradise than she was while alive, but my despair is paired with gloom in a depressing dance that goes on and on within my heart to the sound of my self-pity.

My two lights have gone out, and though I still move, there's only darkness inside. Blind, I can't see where to go even though I must move on, so I fumble my way forward while tripping at every obstacle in the way.

But there's not even moonlight to illuminate my surroundings, so in which direction am I actually going towards?

"Sister Hilde… I've lost our little Lina, too, and now I have no star to guide me…" I whine softly and dry the corners of my eyes.

"Miss… your sister is here," the priest gently states.

"I'm a man, actually, but let me see her," I immediately reply.

The priest blinks blankly at me like they always do when they realize I'm a "hidden" one, but then he chants [Materialization], and suddenly, my gorgeous Elder Sister is right before me again, her stern but comforting gaze telling me that everything will be alright, it's just that now she's glowing with a blue light and I can kind of see through her.

"Find yourself before you can find a new muse," she cryptically states, her tone ethereal and distorted, but its meaning is clearly imparted upon me.

Yes! I understand, sister! But… but I also don't understand…

I have to find myself, but where do I even begin to search…?

But her spirit suddenly dissipates into smoke, and she's gone before I can reply.

Nothing more needed to be said. Elder Sister had high "Wisdom," so all I have to do is believe her.

I tell the priest he can take her body away, and once I leave, I immediately retreat inwardly into my thoughts. My sister's body will be taken to our parents back in Goldcross so that they can also say their goodbyes to her, but I won't follow for I have my own path to tread.

 

Who am I?

I'm Dietgard Roth, younger brother of Hildegard, son of Helganst and Friedrich, assistant manager of the Red Scales Group of Armorers, and the prettiest man of Rabanara.

What do I like?

My cute little Lina.

What do I like to do?

Watch Lina.

What do I like to eat?

Cute food with Lina.

What do I like to drink?

Cute drinks with Lina.

What do I… what do I…

Lina, Lina, and Lina…!

Nothing is the same without little Lina.

The cute clothes that I bought, the cute snacks that I made, the cute stories that I wanted to tell. They're all meaningless without her.

I hug the little lacy black dress and feel its delicate softness. It has an interesting checkered pattern in black and white, looking both childish and also mischievous at the same time. The openings for the belly button and the cleavage give it a mature air that clashes with its more childish main theme. Overall, it's an exquisite piece, a feast for the eyes, an arousing design for the mind.

Yet Lina will never wear it… so I have to.

It's made for a dwarf, so it hugs my lithe body tight, but the skirt is too small, exposing my matching panties and massive bulge to everyone with almost every move, making it improper for use in public.

I do look stunningly cute, though.

But on Lina it'd be cuter… so much cuter.

Her petite feet would be able to wear the matching round black shoes that come with this dress, and her thin legs wouldn't stretch the long white stockings as much as mine. Of course, her hairless and perfectly hidden flower would create no bulge, and instead, one would be able to peek at a long indent that hinted at its true shape. Her torso is thinner than mine, so the dress would be mildly loose, allowing for the straps and bra to gain some room and possibly even expose her lovely pink bits.

Such a fabulous combination would be enhanced by a delicate snow weave choker that she could hang her slave tag on. And the look would be finished with a cute feathered cap, putting her in such high levels of elegance even Ladies would be envious of her.

And then I would've bought a second dress so I could wear it while I… while I… worshiped both our loveliness at the same time.

I fall on my knees and cry into my hands, my hat falling onto the floor with a miserable flop as the storm raging outside the house exemplifies the chaotic bitterness within me. Early Paradise was taken from me, and now I can only worship myself, so I do just that.

My meaty appendage strains against the delicate frilly cloth, curving downwards in a gentle arc but pushing against the covering so hard that it can be peeked at from the sides. Veiny and thick, but held back by a feminine and delicate garment, a contrast that's always so delightful to me.

I slowly unveil it with my fingers, and then the beast is suddenly released into the wild, once again creating contrast with my adorably cute form. I'm a pretty little girl holding a monster in my hands, and I'm the only one who can tame it.

Just imagine if I had another. Two little girls in the dark playing with a dangerous thing, one gloomy raven girl with droopy eyes and an adorably curious stare, another fiery impish girl with slanted eyes and a mischievously lewd grin. Then they tickle the beast's hidden gem, and it loses itself to mad lust, spewing its syrup everywhere in a frenzy. The beauties and the beast.

Glorious, truly glorious!

I suddenly find myself catching my breath, my body full of splatters of pain as I stare up at my piece of work: a huge drawing covering the whole wall. I'm a terrible painter, actually, so it looks like something a child would scribble, but still, imagination! In my mind, it's a worthy tribute to the little girl that I love and the wonderful life we could've had together.

Could have…

But the lightning strike reveals my reflection in the portal to reality, and I realize that there are only beasts here with me. My face covered by Lina's panties, only my eyes visible along with my twin tails, my mind intoxicated with her sour smell, and my soul weeping at the insanity of it all.

With a sigh, I take off the panties, then walk up to the other wall and light up the room again, but I immediately regret it as I'd rather not face the stains in my psyche for I only see madness. Maybe mad with love, maybe mad with sorrow, but certainly all mad.

I pour me some throat-burner and punish my body until the intoxication makes me forget.

 

The storm abates, but unlike in a hero's tale, all that comes after is mud and gray clouds. This place is a wasteland for the soul, a mire of painful memories, the root of all my problems.

I take off my Lina's clothes and put them back where they belong, in the drawer, but when I open it, my eyes are attracted to the glint of ungifted jewels. Indulgences that I acquired to soothe little Lina after the loss of her master, now a useless waste of money.

It's time to return them to the streets. With Elder Sister's death, money will be hard to acquire, so I better be efficient. I may be extremely eccentric, but I'm no fool.

The glint in the merchant's eye suddenly awakens the Roth. He likes it, he likes it a lot, but he won't let me come out on top unless I tickle his hidden gem.

"Cute Miss, I'll give you a gold coin for these necklaces," the greedy merchant politely gives me his offer.

And I make the most snobbish disgusted sneer that I can. "I'll take them back with me to Goldcross, then," I bluff.

"Goldcross? Over there they don't sell necklaces of this quality for more than a gold, certainly," he skeptically replies.

But I detect a weak point in his knowledge of cute jewelry, so I pounce on it like the beast that I am, "You clearly are becoming blind if you can't spot the exquisite details. Look here, a little cat in the pendant. And here, paw prints along the chain." -I stare sternly at him, my eyes burning with the determination of an expert devotee to the Goddess of Cuteness- "This is a collector's piece for wereanimals, not to mention that over here you have many of the demon race, like the succubus and angels, who have a natural affinity for these cute designs and pay premium for them."

The merchant makes a pensive face as my intimidation is successful. "Then how much do you ask for it?"

I almost spill and ask for two gold, the original price, but the Roth overrides me. This is a treasure handpicked by the Peerless Judge of Cuteness and Master of All Things Cute! I clearly have an understanding of its beauty that goes deeper than this boorish man's skills, so I can help him make a fortune, but I also need my share.

"Three gold coins," I whisper with an intense stare, then I see him swallow heavily in hesitation as he realizes that I'm serious and, most importantly, right.

But I'm just starting. I have a whole chest full of Cute to sell!

 

A waterfall of silver falls upon my padded bra, filling it until it overflows with bounty, then my bulge becomes bigger as the coins slip into my panties. Sister never made this much money peddling jewelry… and I didn't even try to bargain very hard with the merchants.

Is this a stroke of luck, or can I profit this much again…?

"Kleinegard! My dear Kleinegard!" Mother exclaims as she receives me into our home. The nickname embarrasses me, but my mind is too distracted by my musings to care.

Mother takes me into her arms, and my stormy mind begins to settle down as the nostalgic touch, smells, and sights work like sedatives on me. My ego is still quite bruised, so now it's time to let it rest.

"But where is the slave?" Mother curiously asks, and it all comes tumbling down, tumbling down, tumbling down…

"She preferred to be sold to the adventurer that saved her rather than serve me," I flatly reply as my spirit leaves my body.

But Mother has always been brutally honest, and she doesn't have mercy, even for me, her pretty little son. My death had already been foretold the moment that I answered Mother's question.

"That whore!" she exclaims with a sneer of disgust so menacing that it'd make a child cry. "She was too young to make a rational decision by herself, so you should've explained to her what that meant! A cute little thing like her in the jaws of a strong, sweaty, muscular adventurer could only lead to one thing: a sex slave. I bet he won't even be gentle with her since she is a dwarf and has [Stonebody], and her tight little womb will be stretched to accommodate the buckets of semen that will be forced inside her."

My little Lina! Her… her virginity…! I didn't think of this… NOOOOOOO…!

Her cute feet will massage his body; her thighs will be used for intercrural love; her chest will be dirtied by a man's lips; her nipples abused by his rough hands; her bouncy ass will feel the power of his slaps; her arms will fail to wrap around the width of his torso; her delicate hands will hold his veiny cock; her face will be tarnished by an endless load of cum after cum that she's forced to swallow, giving her a taste and a hunger for it as it'll be the only food she'll have every day.

I allowed Lina to be defiled…!

Her cunt will be stretched by his monstrous cock and her clit pinched by his rough hands as she grips the sheets hard and her gloomy, droopy eyes will roll up her skull so hard she pushes her tongue out in ecstasy. A chaste and shy girl turned into a cum-addicted cock-hole!

"Wolf Ryder is a man with a loyal harem, and he's known to be kind and wise for his age," Dad's voice of reason slaps me in the face and shoves my soul back in.

And my horrific fantasy makes me a bit lightheaded, so I impulsively confess, "Ah, yes. He was pleasant to talk to, and he's a handsome boy. It's just that he has the determination of an adventurer, so I couldn't convince him."

"Shouldn't have to convince him if the whore didn't jump onto his cock and instead came here to serve us as she should!" Mother exclaims irately, never one to easily give in when things don't go her way.

But Elder Sister's words echo in my mind as if she was watching over me, which is rather comforting, but also a bit scary if I'm being honest because it could mean that she's haunting me. But I digress, the truth of my Sister's words is that she wants us to go our separate ways, for Lina has already fulfilled her duty.

"That was Lina's right. She served Elder Sister, not me, and not the family," I solemnly state, and not even Mother can argue against this.

She simply grunts in frustration, then turns around and angrily leaves, her long, fading red hair following after her.

Old Dad remains a while longer and smiles proudly at me for standing up to Mother and managing to make her shut up. I inherited his kindness while I got Mother's beauty and a bit of her courage, so while I'm not as stalwart as Elder Sister, I'm not a coward either.

"I'm glad you're back, son, but why didn't you come along with your sister's body?" he gently inquires and gives me a hug.

I hate masculine smells and touch, but Dad's is acceptable and even a bit comforting in small amounts. "I had to mourn in my own way, and Lina's heartbreak affected me much more than I ever thought it would."

And that is an understatement.

"What about your job at the shop?" he continues concernedly.

I shake my head, making my twin tails bounce. "Without my sister, I'm just a useless assistant. I want to find myself again."

And he gives my shoulders a reassuring squeeze. "Very well."

 

I gaze upon my adorable visage in the mirror. I am the prettiest man I've ever seen, even prettier than "hidden" elven boys, but I still lose to actual girls. Their bodies don't have the many subtle male characteristics that ruin me from being perfect, but being a "hidden" male has its own charm, and I can also hide some of those characteristics with accessories.

And talking about accessories… tiaras, necklaces, earrings, fingerrings, bandannas, chokers, sashes, belts, gloves, scarves, skirts, stockings, boots, and many other accessories. A pretty girl can increase her level many times if she knows what to wear, and then, when you finally see her naked, the shadow of her fully groomed form lingers on to enhance her beauty.

My mind drifts once again towards Lina, but my image of her has been tainted by Mother's crude, fetishistic, and awfully detailed fantasy about her sex life, so I try to distract myself with something else.

The taste of the money that I acquired after selling my Cute Treasures still lingers in my little red tongue, and I start to yearn for more… but where will I spend this money? For what purpose will I work so hard for?

Debauchery? More cute accessories? Increasingly elaborate fantasies and fetishes? Treatment and cleansing for my growing mental and spiritual disease?

I seem to have an affinity for the path of the Cute, but why should I tread it…?

Elder Sister said that I need to find myself before I find a new muse, but where is this "me"? Rabanara, Goldcross, Wideberg? I have no attachment to anywhere as I've spent most of my life traveling as a peddler and only recently we had settled down in Rabanara, so this "me" could be anywhere.

I'm still lost, and I have nothing else, so I continue my life while utilizing my newfound talent the best I can.

 

"These are beautiful accessories, Miss."

"My daughter loved the dress you recommended for her."

"Because of you I just had to commission a painting of her. She was so cute it hurt!"

Praise, praise, and even more praise. My instant success has me showered with praise, but why does it feel so… hollow?

"Am I cute, Dietgard?"

"You made me cute, Dietgard."

"Dietgard, I can't believe how cute she is!"

Cute, cute, cute! They're cute, yes, but not enough! They're never cute enough! I need more, I need to make them cuter, but I can't! I CAN'T!

I need to feel it in my heart. The tightening, the pain, the elevated heartbeat. I need it! I need to feel SOMETHING…!

But no matter how hard I try, how many girls I pretty up, how many dresses I make them wear, they're not cute enough to make me feel anything.

"You're good at this, Dietgard."

"Dietgard, you should sell your services."

"Dietgard! You have a talent!"

Yes, yes, yes, I know I'm good with cute things, but… I feel no joy.

Cute is my drug, my obsession, my life, so how do you think I feel when all these things are lacking within me?

"You've actually been bringing in a good amount of money, Kleinegard," Mother kindly praises me.

Money? What for? Drink doesn't satisfy me anymore, food turns into ash in my mouth, and not all of the clothes in town could make me prettier than I already am.

"There are quite a few nobles interested in hearing your advice," Dad proudly informs me.

Nobility? Why should I bother? Neither their companionship nor lust arouse me. I'm merely a tool for them to feel better about themselves, about their disturbing lack of beauty.

The only thing that can still make my heartbeat once again is the Cute.

And Goldcross simply isn't Cute enough.

Ever since my Elder Sister gave me this advice, I knew I had to travel, but I didn't know where to go. Now I realize that it doesn't matter. There is no guide to tell me where it is, so I shall search the entire Realm!

I'm sorry Mother and Dad, but I have to go.

 

On a nondescript morning, no different from any other, my carriage travels along the stone road as I watch Goldcross' golden walls become smaller and smaller, and my frozen heart starts to warm up again, beating with renewed life, and excited about this new path that we're taking.

I decide to make a small prayer to ask for a bit of help from the Gods so that I don't suffer too much in this journey. I'm not a hero trying to kill the Monster King, my quest is merely to find Cute so that I can sate this addiction and be able to feel again.

Gods, help me find what my heart yearns for, help me find my…

But the last word dies down in my throat as I suddenly feel like it's "incorrect," but then something else comes to the tip of my little red tongue.

"Loli," a foreign female voice whispers in my ear… and at last I truly see.

I must find her. I must find the one girl that's cuter than Lina. The one that's unmatched. The one that stands at the top. The One… Loli; the cutest of them all.