I cover my mouth with my hand and blush in embarrassment. A few of the elven patrons heard my shout and send me some glares. An imperial drunk chuckles loudly and cheers me on, earning some glares of his own from even more elves.

The girls look at me oddly and Alissa asks, "To-mayto?" She tilts her head cutely, "Isn't that one of the vegetables you asked me to find?"

"Yes! I can't believe the damn elves have been hogging this fruit for themselves all this time!" I hiss under my breath.

Hana slurps a few noodles and hums while savoring the taste. The other girls and Gify copy her, and our table goes silent while they all savor the sauce.

"Gih!" Gify loves it.

The opinion of a Black Hole about the tastiness of things isn't reliable.

"Tasty," Aoi says in a calm tone.

Now, if Aoi likes it, then it must actually be tasty.

"It's okay," Lina comments.

"I think there's some of that Basil you like," Alissa says.

"Oh, yes, they use a lot of this sauce. They like to put it on everything," Roxanne says.

Hana goes silent and eats faster.

"You said it's fruit? So isn't this juice instead of sauce?" Ciel asks.

I shrug, I have no idea what the difference is between them.

"Excuse me," I call the attention of an androgynous waiter, "What's the name of the vegetable this sauce comes from?"

They smile kindly and speak, "This is tomafinger, it's a staple in our cuisine."

T-toma-what? I heard something else being spoken but the system translated it to that monstrosity.

The waiter leaves and I shake my head.

I refuse to say that name. For me, this is not-tomato.

"So, let's buy a ton of this fruit while we're here," I say.

"We have to be careful, though. If we buy a lot, then they might think that we are trying to export it and the elves will investigate," Lina says.

It would be awkward trying to explain what we did with a ton of not-tomatoes if they inspect my nearly empty [Item Box].

"I feel annoyed at being so close to something I love so much and not being able to enjoy it due to elven elitism," I say.

"Well, they sold tomafingers to the chimeras, so they aren't that bad," Lina shrugs.

Everyone is hogging the good stuff all to themselves. Who's hogging rice and coffee? Will I have to explore every single place in the world to find them?

Gih.

You would like that, wouldn't you?

I feel Gify grin inside my head.

A world-spanning quest for rice and coffee. How far would a man go to acquire his comfort food?

Gih!

 

Anton, Rande, and their respective families enter the dining area. Klein sends me an exaggerated wink and then Osaria copies her. I bite my lip to hold back my chuckle.

Rande sits on a table beside ours and strikes up a conversation with Hana about their fight with the Corpse Stealer horde.

"I'll retire to our room," I say to the girls and hold down Alissa's shoulder when she motions get up too. "You can stay. My 'Sanity' is good enough now that it's way less stressful to stay far from your blessing," I whisper in her ear.

She puckers her lips in thought and worry.

"Enjoy yourself," I say and leave. Lina quickly gets up and follows me.

"I don't really want to talk to them," she says, awkwardly.

Hana sits at Rande's table and drags Roxanne with her to sit beside Osaria.

 

I switch the room's bed out for ours and add some extra beds so everyone can sleep in the same room.

Lina cuddles up with me and pulls out one of Alissa's books to read. Her cute little ass finds its usual spot: with my shaft buried between her ass cheeks.

I take the opportunity to brush her hair. It's a very cathartic experience and I feel my consciousness drifting away. After I'm done, I pull out the elven skin oil and smile at her suggestively.

She completely undresses for me and I [Massage] her delicate skin while she tries not to moan. I don't even touch an erogenous zone, yet she quickly leaves a large wet spot on my crotch. Then I cup her little mounds and play with her nipples. Now she lets out her voice and moans freely, her concentration completely broken.

While I play with Lina, I concentrate on the conversation downstairs through the [Bind]. Alissa's hearing is good enough that I can hear what everyone is saying.

I notice that Rande is decreasing his flirting, but Hana's "Charisma" is still high enough for them to be very friendly towards each other. Osaria is striking up a proper conversation with Roxanne, and through Aoi's eyes, I can see that they aren't touching each other too much.

Alissa and Ciel talk with Klein, her family, and Laertes. They are talking about Sommerland and the possible birthplace of Ciel. Gify is being petted by Klein while Anton and Krista look at her with a hint of envy.

The wet sounds of Lina's juices grow louder. She eventually gets frustrated enough that she takes out my erection and aims it inside herself. I grab her thin waist and push her down. She is so tight that I see her pussy's lips holding onto my shaft and refusing to let go.

I give Alissa a small hint of what I'm doing to Lina and her heart tightens so much that I almost cum. She grits her teeth in frustration but doesn't give anyone a hint of what she's feeling.

Aoi suddenly comes off of Hana's shoulders and scurries towards our room. She grows large and opens the door by herself.

"What is it, Aoi?" I ask.

"I want, to play, too!" She answers and climbs up onto the bed. She grows to her larger form and pushes me down, then she shoves her tongue inside my mouth.

I share my senses with Aoi and just as I'm starting to orgasm I share my senses with Alissa, too. She fakes a coughing fit to mask her orgasm and casts a [Clean] inside her panties.

"Wolfy~! That was dirty!" She complains inside my head.

"That's what you deserve, whore," I force her ass cheeks to clench and her pussy tingles again.

"Punish me more!"

"No."

And I leave her like that.

Lina cleans herself and we calm down.

"Give me, some!" Aoi asks and Lina feeds her some of my cum. "It's bitter!" She complains and frowns at Lina.

She shrugs and says, "It's not the taste but the… well, the dirtiness of drinking something that came out of his penis."

"Dirty?" Aoi tilts her head, copying Alissa.

"It's something personal, something that only lovers can share," I say.

Aoi's connection hums as she thinks deeply and taps one claw on her lip. "Seconds, please!" She asks.

A slightly drunk Ciel comes back to bed and tries to kill me in my sleep by suffocation. A fitting death if any, but far too early for me.

 

Today is the 11th.

Lina wakes me up with an adorable smile. Aoi sneaks beside her and steals a part of her bounty in a surprise attack. Instead of being mad, Lina looks almost disappointed that it ended.

 

Lina leveled up to 24, she learned [Throw] with 2 points.

 

We have a simple breakfast: soft biscuits, tea, fruits, and… Gatun milk.

"Sweeter than a cow's," I say with a shrug.

After we finish our meal, we laze around for a few minutes.

"I want to take a walk through the city," Alissa says.

Ciel and Hana nod in agreement.

"I'm feeling lazy, I'll just spend some time in a tea shop or something," I say.

"Take, me," Aoi asks.

Roxanne and Lina look at each other. "Let's play some Civil War…?" Lina asks tentatively.

Roxanne's eyes turn sharp and she smiles evilly. "Bring it on."

 

I discreetly summon three Shads and three Hollys. We should be relatively safe in this town if we don't go down any dark alleys. The elven authorities certainly wouldn't take kindly to imperials starting trouble here.

Roxanne gives me the Giant Centipede she killed and I head to the hunter's guild to get our rewards. I ask for directions a few times and quickly find it since the town is small enough that it's hard to get lost.

I go down the stairs to the lower level and enter a gloomy street. There's not much sunlight, so luminous plants are used as a substitute.

The guild looks much simpler than Rabanara's, and only the black bones of Corpse Stealers decorate the outer walls. As I cross through the double doors, I immediately smell the perfume of scented logs being burned and see quite the cozy atmosphere inside. The furniture is upholstered and covered in Uspidor skin, making it look quite comfortable to sit on. There are a few other Proofs of Extermination embedded in the interior walls, but they look more like museum displays rather than trophies from successful hunts. Having a fireplace in a building made entirely out of wood gives me some anxiety, but I can see a gem above it that somehow must be controlling the fire. The scented logs have a faint flowery smell to them that reminds me of chamomile.

The few hunters are mostly dignified elves with poise in their posture. Some of them are showing off glossy wooden armor but most wear elegant padded leather armor. The elves look at me with doubt while the few imperial hunters send more sympathetic gazes.

The way I walk with my sword at my waist and the presence of Aoi curled around my neck would give pause to anyone who might underestimate me. Though, that won't stop stupid people from doing stupid things.

I see a sign above a door in both Andraste and Ingua that says "Dismantling Room," so I enter through there. Two elves are playing cards inside. They've decorated their puffy beards with flowers, giving them an odd mix of girlishness and manliness.

The bigger one of the duo notices me and motions to the empty metal tables. "Feel free to pull out your monsters," he says.

Let's just show off a little to build some reputation.

I pull out the Kappatti, Marsh Goblins, Wood Goblins, Uspidor, Giant Centipede, and the pile of Corpse Stealer bones.

The bigger one lets his mouth hang open and the smaller one turns around to understand what stunned his co-worker. They both look so alike that I'm not sure if they are brothers or it's just the elven "curse."

"Young Mishter, you, uh, belong tchu a mersh'nary comp'ny?" The bigger one asks me nervously. His Andraste is a little odd, he has a thick European Portuguese accent and pronounces the vowels openly, like in Ingua.

"Wolf Ryder, leader of the fellowship Helios," I say and extend my hand for a handshake.

He looks at me and leans over to kiss it but thinks better and just gives me a handshake.

I certainly do not want a bearded man kissing my hand.

"I am Oldo and thish ish my brother, Boldo," he motions to the smaller man.

Boldo starts to hurriedly count the number of Corpse Stealers and I feel some mana escape his hand. He is merely checking whether or not all bones belong together, something simple for a Spirit mage.

Oldo goes towards the Uspidor and Giant Centipede.

"You ush'd [Bleed] on thish one, but how did you kill thish other one?" Oldo asks.

"Secret of my fellowship," I answer and Oldo grunts in understanding.

"Your fellowship killed all these Corpse Stealers by yourselves?" Boldo asks, his accent is much fainter than his brother's.

"We did, indeed."

"I could recommend you to the Lord's Knight Company. A fellowship like yours you would be paid handsomely," he immediately adds.

I raise a hand in a plea for him to stop. "We are currently working as a temporary escort for a caravan and we prefer to remain unbound," I say.

Boldo sighs and nods to me. "A shame, but the offer will stand if you ever change your mind," he says, then returns to examining the Corpse Stealers.

"I want the tentacles from the Uspidor, if you can remove them for me," I ask Oldo.

"Yay! They are delicious raw, with Alissa's cooking they will taste even better!" Aoi cheers in my head.

We get 30 gold coins for the Corpses, 3 for the Uspidor, and 1 more for the other monsters.

 

On the way to the hunter's guild, I saw a stair with the sign "Observation Point" above it, so I return there to investigate.

We go down a long stair down past the lower level of the town. After a set of thick bark doors, we come out into an inverted observation dome where the floor is made of thick glass and plenty of benches are available for us to lay down on. There's a single bored guard at the entrance to the dome and a few elves on the benches.

I lay down on a bench and keep my face at the edge so I can comfortably look down. The elves send me a few restrained glances but mostly ignore us.

"I guess this is kind of like a date," I say to Aoi.

"Date? A day…?" She tilts her head and rubs against my cheek.

"That got translated oddly, I guess dating is not a thing here."

"Time-ing?"

"On Earth, we have a casual relationship level called 'dating,' kind of like lovers but the word 'love' has heavier connotations there than it does here."

"I love you, we are not date-ing!" She scoffs.

"Well, okay, but the thing we are doing is kind of a 'date': two people in love spending time together just by themselves."

"Then isn't every day a 'date'?"

"Well, we are mostly working or training, so it has to be like, away from home and we have to be doing something fun."

"But training is fun! And so is killing monsters, they are delicious!"

I smile at her cheerful mindset. "Different standards."

"Hm."

From the observatory, we have a view of the lake below. It's quite calming and beautiful. The not-fireflies make for a truly magical sight straight out of a fantasy story. Not that I'm not in one, considering all that's happened to me.

Sometime later, an elven priest comes in and lights incense in the middle of the dome. Slowly, a faint herby smell fills the room.

I pull out two teacups Alissa prepared for us and some snacks, meaty ones for Aoi. She cutely drinks from the cup like a cat and nibbles on the slices of meat on the tray.

"You are supposed to be omnivorous," I tell her.

"But meat tastes goood!"

"Eating veggies will give you nutrients and help you grow big and strong."

"Muuuh," she groans in annoyance.

 

When the time for lunch nears, Alissa talks to me in my head, "Wolfy, we found a nice restaurant, let's eat here."

"Sure." I take out the lithograph out of my pocket and feed it some mana. I write on the crystal screen with my finger and the black ink congregates at the places that I touched it. In a few seconds the message is formed: "Ro, Li, come meet us."

We barely enter the restaurant and Aoi is already salivating in hunger. The smell of barbecue and scented logs is so strong that even I'm getting excited. We join the girl's table and wait for Roxanne and Lina to come. Meanwhile, they discreetly transfer to me all the things they bought. Tons of Tonsel, the not-lemon; bag upon bag of not-tomato; assorted fruits and veggies; more scented candles; scented logs for barbecuing; cheap skin-care products; and a few pieces of interesting-looking underwear.

"Everything is so cheap right now," Ciel whispers excitedly.

"And they all seemed eager to sell to us," Alissa adds.

"Gih."

"Pff, they weren't looking at you, at least not the men," Hana says.

Gify clicks his beak at Hana.

"Elves don't usually have large breasts," Alissa comments and glances at Ciel's modest cleavage.

The two missing girls soon arrive with Roxanne holding Lina's hand. Roxanne looks like Lina's older sister, they are adorable together.

"Awn… have you two been getting along?" Hana asks with mockery on her tone.

"Oh yes, her little tongue has been licking my lips all this time," Roxanne says with an evil smile.

Ciel and Lina both glare at her with annoyance.

"The score was 5-4 in favor of Lina," I say and Roxanne bites her tongue.

 

We order our meal and huge steaks are served to each of us. They have orc ribs with barbecue sauce and it tastes just like back on Earth. My mind melts with the flavors and I get one step closer to feeling at home.

I let a sigh escape from my lips and Alissa looks at me oddly. "Were those ribs that good?" She asks.

"No, not really. It's just that I've missed this quite a lot, it feels very nostalgic for me," I answer.

"Food is something that gives us comfort. We get so used to the taste of certain foods that we feel empty if we don't have them once in a while," Ciel says.

"So, food is like poppy?" Roxanne asks with a raised eyebrow.

"More like sex," Ciel answers with a wry smile. Hana and Roxanne let out an "ooh" in sync.

 

After lunch, we find a dead-end street and play around with the [Float] enchantment. You can throw yourself as hard as you want into the hole and the enchantment will always push you back to safety. It feels just like [Telekinesis], it changes your gravity until you gently fall back onto the road, which means it can be a little disorientating if you spin too much.

I lightly spar with the girls but keep my instant-magic hidden. I haven't met any suspicious people here yet, but Katasko can just buy information from the elves if they need to.

A few shy elven children appear at the corner of the street and watch us curiously. Ciel and Alissa turn to them like moths to a flame and their smiles mesmerize most of the children but creep out a few.

An elven boy (I think) comes to Hana and pulls out his own wooden shortsword, "Missh, can you teach ush to fight?" He asks.

"Oh?" Hana looks down and smiles warmly, "Of course, but don't you have your own teacher for that?"

"Yes, but he shaid to spar with ash many people ash I can."

Hana laughs and the kid winces, "Good advice, let's play a little, then."

I sit down near the curb and watch them spar. Lina ends up being dragged into it since her height makes her a good sparring partner for the boy, much to her annoyance.

As time passes, the number of girly looking elven children sitting beside me increases so much that I start to become uncomfortable.

"Why are they all so close?" I ask Alissa through our connection.

"Well, you are quite cute for a human, your scars give you a little charm, and your height makes it easier for them to relate to you," Alissa answers, barely containing a chuckle.

Gods, please, I'm not a pedo!

The kids play tag and at first, they manage to outwit Alissa by playing around with the [Float] enchantment. Once she manages to copy their tricks, the evil orange fox comes out and the kids have to learn strict teamwork just to bring her down.

"You seem to be enjoying playing with children more than even Ciel," I say to Alissa.

This gives her pause and she ends up being stabbed in the back. The children cheer in victory, but it's cut short so that they can start the next round.

"I guess…" I feel Alissa shrug.

 

We return to the inn with the sunset and fool around in the bath again. Roxanne fulfills her promise and steals Lina from Ciel so she can have her fun. To console Ciel, I give all of my attention to my chocolate goddess and massage her insides quite thoroughly.

Dinner is more pasta, now with Bolognese sauce. I discreetly add some shredded cheese and not-olive oil to it. It tastes so perfect that I could even see myself having a meal back at home while being surrounded by my family. All five of us around a table with a large pot of pasta, roasted chicken, and some cheap sweet wine. I can even remember the Sunday TV programs that would be on at that time.

This time I don't sigh, but I do get a little emotional, so only Aoi and Alissa notice my feelings through our connection.

 

Anton's attempts to keep us separate from Klein aren't really that bad considering she's getting extra attention from her family. She looks very happy when she comes back to the inn and immediately sits at our table.

The girls share information about what they bought in town. Just like us, they got a lot of skin-care products and even Anton got a few for himself.

"I mean, they really do work. Being bald may look easier than having to take care of your hair, but my skin can easily get dry and wrinkly," Anton defends himself.

"There might be only a single race in the entire realm that thinks that skin-care is a simple business," Ciel says and sends a discrete glance to Hana.

"Well, it is simple," Hana says with a shrug and smiles wryly when every woman at the table sends her a glare.

 

We go to sleep early since we'll be waking up tomorrow before sunrise.

 

Intermission 13

 

I enter my room and breathe in deeply to calm my nerves.

What am I doing? How am I even going to start this conversation?

"Hey, Dad, I want to lose my virginity. No, not Laertes, obviously. Yes, I want to have sex with the cute perverted boy who has his own harem."

Or maybe I should go with: "Hey, Dad, I want to have sex with whoever I want. Obviously, I will join that boy and his harem and have orgies everyday with all of them. Yeah, totally normal."

This is so ridiculous. I just want to have some fun…!

I sigh and lean against the door.

If only he wasn't so ambitious, he would be quite the catch.

I think I should keep in touch with Hana. They should be grooming Hermann to become a knight…

I groan and slap my cheeks.

Whatever, I'll improvise.

I leave my room and knock on the door of the room beside mine.

"Come in," Mom says.

Dad is delicately brushing Mom's hair with a brush far too small for his huge hand. His "Dexterity" is amazing.

"What is it, Klein? You look nervous," Mom says, her intuition is as sharp as ever.

"Well, I just want to talk about something," I answer and force an innocent smile.

Dad immediately stops brushing and his eyes lock with mine. Mom motions for me to sit and I awkwardly make myself comfortable on the corner of their bed.

I breathe in to muster all my courage and ask, "Dad, when are you going to find a husband for me?"

Mom calmly turns to him and I see his face twitch.

"I haven't found any good enough," he answers flatly.

"Dad, I'm twenty already."

His permanent frown grows deeper, "Still young, only trophy hunters would care so much about your age."

"But I want a husband! I want someone to love!" I protest and my tail twists on itself.

"I already said I haven't found anyone good enough!" He glowers at me. His normal voice is loud enough that increasing the volume just a little is enough to be considered a yell.

"Then I want the right to choose my own!" I pout and glower back.

"My love…" Mom says softly and her small hand cups his large cheek. He quickly calms and looks at her worriedly. "What kind of husband are you searching for her?"

"A good one," he answers flatly.

"And what would be good enough? A Lord? Is that why it's taking so long? You want a Lord for me," I say with a sneer.

Mom turns to me and her angry eyes force me to shut my mouth.

Dad shows a bit of annoyance on his face, then he breathes in and speaks, "Someone who would respect you, who wouldn't treat you like a trophy. Someone who's not collecting wives or husbands and truly wants to respect the exchange of vows that a marriage is supposed to be about."

"If you say it like that, then Laertes would be perfect, would he not?" I ask and send him a glare. Dad keeps silent and I see him grit his teeth in anger. "But Laertes is not rich is he? That's why he's not 'good enough.' You want a rich man with power and enough heart to truly love only me. Dad, that someone only exists in dreams."

"Do you want to wait for someone perfect and live the rest of your life happily, or do you want someone now and have a mediocre marriage?" He asks between gritted teeth. He's using a lot of "Willpower" to not yell and wake up the entire inn.

"I want to choose for myself," I say confidently.

"You want to fuck that perverted boy."

"So, what?!" I hiss at him.

"You two, stop it," Mom says with finality on her tone. "Anton… you haven't been putting much effort in finding her a husband, have you?" Mom's cold tone makes Dad tense up.

"I saw them all and deemed them unworthy," Dad nervously says, using big words to sound confident.

"You barely talked to the nobility. You can't judge someone's personality that way," Mom says and then turns forward, her cold eyes now assault me. "You just want to drown in sex. You know they are having orgies every day."

"Well… yes, I want to have sex!"

Gods! I never thought I would have to admit such a thing to my parents!

"You know how men like him are, you are just going to be a trophy for him," she says, flatly.

"I don't care, I just want to have some fun with them."

Both of them raise their eyebrows in surprise and I cringe.

"Even with the women…?" Mom asks, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Yes…?" I answer, a little unsure of myself.

"Should I, uh, start searching for wives, too?" Dad asks.

"No, I still prefer men."

"Okay, then."

"So, that's it! I'm sleeping with Wolfy-… Wolf w-whether you like it or not!" I announce.

"You are going to regret this," Dad says in a disapproving tone.

"Husband, you have only yourself to blame," Mom says and slaps his cheek lightly.

Dad grumbles and looks away. "Since you are so naive, let me tell you to not accept marrying him if he proposes to you. He's the perfect example of a 'collector,'" he adds.

"I won't, I don't want to marry him."

"That makes it worse."

Mom groans. "You both are making stupid decisions, but nothing is perfect, except for my cooking, so you both need to learn your lessons."

Dad protests, "She's just letting herself be sed-…"

I start to speak at the same time, "He's just too scared to find m-…"

"Not another word!" Mom interrupts and we both go silent. "You both need to learn your lessons the hard way."