[Vol. 4 pt. 3]
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BATTLE TIME LET’S GO

I DON’T CARE IF THERE WASN’T A SMOOTH TRANSITION BETWEEN CHAPTERS

WE NEED TO GET THESE BATTLES OVER WITH BECAUSE EACH AREA AKA PRINCESS IS SUPPOSED TO BE CONQUERED EACH VOLUME BUT SO FAR WE’RE SPENDING MULTIPLE VOLUMES ON EACH AREA AND THIS IS GOING TO END UP BEING A SERIES THAT LASTS FOR LIKE 50 YEARS AT THE CURRENT RATE IF THE END GOAL IS ADDING ALL THE PRINCESSES TO THE HAREM

SO

BATTLE TIME

RIGHT NOW

LET’S GO

NO MORE MESSING AROUND

SCREW PROPER CHAPTER TRANSITIONS

 

I had no idea what Window was talking about, but I did know that me and everybody else found ourselves teleported to the new battleground in the haunted forest. I also remembered that we already cleared the first two battles for the area, meaning that we were on the third battle… which meant that there was going to be a boss battle.

“Shouldn’t we wait for Vala to get back at least?” I asked.

Already called her.

 

“Wait, how?”

Only virgins question things. You’re a non-virgin virgin. Know your place.

 

It was clear I wouldn’t be getting any proper explanations out of Window. She really wanted to rush us into the battle.

Also she’s busy drinking hot chocolate while waiting for her new sweater.

 

“A new sweater?” I asked. After discovering the power of sweaters, something like that could never fail to catch my interest.

She didn’t share any details other than saying that she asked for it to be as ugly as possible, so it probably has your face on it.

 

“You’re on a roll today with these burns. Also, I’m going to throw you.”

Window hovered out of my reach.

I really needed to figure out some better comebacks than threatening to throw her. I felt like she was improving her insult game while mine was growing worse and worse. Maybe that was what fatherhood did to me. Fatherhood mellowed me out while motherhood sassied her up.

“Don’t worry, Papa,” Luca said. “I still love you! And, I think you’re handsome!”

I patted Luca’s head. “Thank you.”

“You have a face that only a daughter could love!”

I froze as it felt like an arrow was shot through my heart. Not in a good way, either. It was the very negative kind of arrow. The kind of arrow fired to kill somebody or destroy their entire sense of being and ego.

I couldn’t even react to Window popping a hand out of her rectangular form to give Luca a high-five.

My own daughter turned against me.

Was nothing sacred? Did I have nobody on my side?

Wait! There was still hope!

I turned around to look at the dog girls.

Just call them the dog sisters. It sounds better. Also, remember what I said about nobody at this point caring about calling them dog girls instead of beings-of-existence? Yeah, well, same thing. Nobody still here is going to care if you call them sisters. They’re not blood related, there’s nothing to worry about grooming or incest, and they’re basically just such close friends that they consider themselves sisters.

Also, there’s no descriptive sex shown anyways, and you can get away with basically anything as long as no descriptive sex is shown in stories, so we’re pretty much as safe as we can be at this point.

Unless there’s a spy reading this.

You never know.

Better burn this after you read it.

 

“Don’t self-immolate yourself!” I shouted.

I then sighed and turned around to look at the dog sisters. Admittedly, referring to them as the dog sisters did have a better ring to it.

Moving on.

When I turned around in hopes of using them to praise me and my looks… they were all too busy with the bones scattered around the place.

There was only one option left.

There was only one more person who could potentially give me the praise that my ego needed.

The problem was that she was nowhere to be found.

“Hey, where’s Honey?” I asked.

Oh, Vala took her with her.

 

“I didn’t see Vala take her with her?”

Vala came back after leaving to grab her and you didn’t see.

 

“Alright… why did Vala take her?”

Because she wanted alone time with her since you got to take her out on a date with everybody, so she was the only one who didn’t get to spend a lot of time with her yet.

 

“Makes sense. Well, in that case, I guess I’m all alone in this ugly, cruel world.”

Yeah, basically.

 

“I guess I’ll just have to—”

A certain somebody cleared her throat.

“—go and cry myself to sleep after—”

She cleared her throat even louder.

“—the battle since nobody is left to love me.”

“Hmph! Stop ignoring me, nya!” Clawdia shouted, tugging on my arm.

I finally gave in and looked at her after previously making sure to always look over her when looking around for the others to restore my ego. “What do you want?”

“I’m—I’m one of your waifus! Why didn’t you ask me to compliment you?!”

“Because you would say no because you’re too shy to say nice things like that unless you’re high on catnip. Or unless you think you’re asleep but really aren’t.”

“Tha-that’s not true! That makes me sound like a horrible girlfriend!”

“You bite me, you insult me, you’re never honest about your true feelings, and you never help out because you’re always sleeping. Whenever you’re not sleeping, you’re bossing us around or acting like you still have some authority over at the cat village while they all clap for you so that they don’t hurt your feelings.”

Clawdia froze in the same way that I did when Luca hurt me.

I placed a hand on her shoulder. “I’m sorry but, if I have to suffer, I’m taking you down with me.”

Then Clawdia looked up at me with wet eyes on the verge of crying. “I… I’m just following my character type… I thought you… I thought everybody was okay with me acting like that… nya…”

“We are.”

“The-then why are you calling me out?!”

“Because it’s my character type.”

“O-oh. Any-anyways! Hmph! Just… just this one time, I will grave you with a compliment! You better appreciate it!”

“I want to hear one from you when you’re not playing a character.”

Clawdia took a step back with reddened cheeks before looking at up me, directly into my eyes, with perhaps the most honesty I’d ever seen from her. She looked even more honest than when she was high on catnip. Then, she took a step forward and held onto my chest. “I know I’m always acting meanya… but I love you, and it’s just to stay in character. And I always look at you whenever you’re around, and it’s not just because I love you. It’s because… you’re hot, too. I promise, nya. If you want me to be honest with you without playing a character, then there’s no way I could ever say anything negative about you. You are nothing but wonderful, attractive, handsome, h-hot, funny, kind, supportive… and I love everything about you from how you act to the way that you look. There is nothing I would change about you, and I would be mad if you ever did change. So… there, nya. Was… was that good enough?”

For the first time…

I was the one who had to take a step back and raise a hand to cover most of my face.

“That was dangerous. Go back to being abusive,” I said.

A vein popped in Clawdia’s forehead as she crossed her arms over her chest. “I said all of that for you and this is all I get in return?! You’re the worst! I should bite you! And claw you! I’m never saying any of that ever agai—”

I tilted her head back and kissed her. “I’m not going to be able to hold back in front of everybody if I hear you act like that,” I whispered. “But if you want to talk like that when we’re alone, I’ll repay you ten times over for it.”

“Te-ten times over?” Clawdia moaned.

“That’s right. Now hurry up and bite me like an abusive girlfriend before we get carried away.”

Clawdia nodded. Then she surprised me by kissing me on the jaw with a soft, gentle kiss… before latching her fangs into my neck hard enough to draw blood.

“What do you think you’re doing?!” I shouted at her as I swung my body around, trying to shake her off.

All she replied with was more biting as she chewed on my neck.

I had to grab her by her ankles, tear her off of me, swing around, and throw her as a trail of blood in the air connected her mouth to my neck.

I might have thrown Clawdia pretty hard and fast, but that was alright. She was a cat girl. That meant she always landed on all fours with no problem.

And when she did land, she looked up at me and hissed.

That was how things were meant to be. It was too dangerous for her to actually be honest around me because then she had the same effect as a woman wearing overalls. I wasn’t going to be able to hold myself back if she said even one more nice thing to me. That kiss on my jaw was already enough to send me over the edge, but she quickly pulled me back onto it by biting me.

Though, seeing that genuine side of her was great motivation. I wanted to hurry up and get through the battle as quickly as possible so that I could spend some private time with her where she could be honest and where I wouldn’t have to worry about holding myself back.

“I forgot to say, nya!” Clawdia shouted at me. “You have a face that not even a rat would love!”

It was my turn to pop a vein in my forehead as I shouted at her, “I was thinking about spoiling you later, but all I’m thinking about is spanking you now!”

Of course, when I saw how flustered she became as her cheeks shone a bright red color, I realized that spanking her would still count as spoiling her.

Punishing masochists was impossible because they would always enjoy any punishment thrown their way.

“Alright, let’s get this over with,” I said, finally returning my attention to Window. Well, Window and Luca seeing as how Luca was sitting on top of a floating Window.

About time.

 

“So, I think we can send—”

WAIT I JJJTUGRESDAGRDSAI GREWSDIUJGRTEISDUJGTREHBTR

SHTRHBTR

SHTRS

HBTRSHBTRSDHBTRSDHTSRDHBTRS

CRAP

WE F ORGOT

PLOT HOLE

MAJOR PLOT HOLE

THIS IS NOT A DRILL, I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL

WE HAVE A MAJOR PLOT HOLE WARNING

 

“What are you panicking about?”

THE TOWERS

YOU BUILT THE SLIME TOWER AND UPGRADED LAVI’S TOWER BUT THEN WE NEVER SHOWED THEM ACTUALLY FINISH SO THEY BASICALLY DON’T EXIST EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE QUEUED UP AND GHGTTEDWSHTEDSHBTRSHBTS OH NO THIS ONE IS ACTUALLY BAD BECAUSE THEY’RE IMPORTANT THINGS AND WE COMPLETELY FORGOT

 

“Oh, right. We started the upgrade for Lavi’s tower and started building the slime tower before going on the date.”

YES AND WE COMPLETELY FORGOT TO COME BACK TO THAT

 

“I blame you.”

WHY WOULD YOU BLAME ME?

YOU’RE PARTIALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS

YOU CAN’T JUST PUT ALL THE BLAME ON ME

 

“I only exist to garden and to be a boyfriend. And dad. You’re the one who deals with everything else.”

Crap, you’re right. You’re too insignificant to be counted on for anything else.

 

“You already killed me multiple times today! Let me rest in peace!”

lol no

ANYWAYS

UMMMMMMMMMMMMM CRAP

OK

SO

UHHHHHH

OH, I KNOW.

HAHAHA WOOPS SILLY ME I FORGOT THAT THE UPGRADE AND BUILDING TIMES WERE ACTUALLY A LOT LONGER THAN NORMAL THIS TIME SO THOSE TOWERS NEVER FINISHED IN THE FIRST PLACE SO THIS ISN’T ACTUALLY A PLOT HOLE AT ALL HAHAHAHAHAHA YES. I AM NOT FORGETFUL. INDEED.

 

“Will playing along make you feel better?”

Yes T_T

 

“Wow, those towers are taking a long time. I completely forgot about how long the timers were this time.”

You’re almost kind enough that I almost feel tempted to consider possibly feeling the slightest bit bad for you.

 

“You have to go through all that just to feel bad for me?!”

get rekt, son

 

“Don’t call me your son. That’s weird. We have a daughter.”

o-oh. Yeah, you’re right. Even if we’re finally caving in and calling the girls dog girls and cat girls and sisters now… I think we still might get in trouble if we do something weird like pretend I’m your mom.

 

“You’re… you’re not into that, right?”

OF COURSE I’M NOT

IT WAS JUST FOR THE JOKE

 

I raised an eyebrow.

I SWEAR I’M NOT PLEASE BELIEVE ME LIKE SURE I MIGHT HAVE MY KINKS BUT THAT DEFINITELY ISN’T ONE OF THEM. I’M NOT THE ARA ARA TYPE. I’M THE TYPE WHO JUST WANTS TO BULLY YOU.

“If you say so. Anyways, since Lavi isn’t upgraded yet, let’s send her and Cami on the expedition. Me and Clawdia will handle this fight.”

“Oh! Papa!” Luca shouted. “Can I go on the expedition, too?! I wanna go! I wanna explore and go on an adventure!

I looked at Window. “It should be safe, right?”

Duh. As if anything actually bad would ever happen in this series. Don’t forget what we’re in.

 

“I’ll take that as a yes.” I looked at Luca. “Alright, you can go with them.”

Luca fist pumped the air before running over to Lavi and Cami to share the news.

“Delphi should be fine running around collecting bones while we fight, Vala and Honey aren’t here, and this will be my first time fighting with Clawdia. Alright, I think we’re all set to go.”

“Wa-wait, you want me to fight with you?” Clawdia asked.

“We haven’t fought together yet, and you’re strong, so why not?”

“I… I-I didn’t think you would ever want to fight with me. And—and don’t you normally just watch, nya?”

“I feel like being involved. It’s against the first boss of the new area, and I’m pretty good at dealing with bosses.”

Clawdia narrowed her eyes at me. “You emasculated my bosses and turned them into submissive kittens who blush whenever they’re petted.”

“Exactly.”

“But you haven’t even done that to me yet…”

“That’s for after the battle. The harder you fight and the more overwhelmingly we win, the harder I’ll dominate you once we’re done.”

“S-so bold! You—you barbarian! But… well… i-it’s not like I want to be dominated by you or anything, but… I’ll do my best anyways, because I’m a queen, and it is my duty to assert my dominance over these fools who believe in a queen of their own!”

“Good girl.”

Clawdia’s ears and tail shot up as her cheeks turned bright red. “Wha-wha?! H-how dare you speak to me like I’m some sort of… pet!”

“I’ll give you a collar once we’re done if you behave.”

She reached a hand up to touch her neck as she bit her lower lip. “S-s-somebody needs put in their place to remind them of their status!”

“To remind me of my status as your master?”

Little hearts appeared in Clawdia’s eyes as she mumbled with a smile. But, even though she looked so happy, she still tried to act defiant. “You—you mongrel, nya… I… I’m going to need punished after—I mean! You—you will need punished after this!”

“We’ll see who gets punished later. For now, let’s see which of us can dominate the battlefield better.”

I expected some sort of shy or nervous response. Instead, Clawdia got serious and smiled. “Try to keep up with me, nya.”

“Feeling competitive now?”

“I only want to be dominated in the bedroom. Outside of it, I won’t let you win that easily.”

“You just admitted to wanting to be dominated in the bedroom.”

Clawdia froze.

Then she bared her fangs at me and hissed while staring at my neck.

Needless to say, I ran toward the battlefield before she could bite me again.

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