1.53 Heartache
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Hai FenChu was still holding onto YuLan's arms. Despite the layer of her robe sleeve as protection, her fingernails dug into YuLan's skin.

YuLan grimaced inside, but she did not let the slight pain show on her face as she slowly lifted her head.

Now Hai FenChu's voice was low in anxiousness, tinged with vexation, "What nonsense are you talking about, YuLan?" 

It was the first time ever she had felt anger.

All the effort, all her love towards this young woman, her intention to find her a good husband... .

Was her form of affection not appreciated at all?

But YuLan kept her silence. Of course she knew Hai FenChu's good intention. The Second Madame had enthusiastically shown her some noble sons' profiles before, to see if YuLan was interested in getting acquainted with any of them, but YuLan always laughed it off and politely rejected the offer. Ji LanBai herself was always on her side as well, though for an entirely different reason.

Ji LanBai expressed her annoyance towards her second mother numerous times the issue ever came up, "There is no way YuLan will be married to another household! She will come with me and will live with me in GuoFu-ge's estate. We will not be apart!"

So either way, if YuLan waereto stay in Ji household, her future was screwed.

Their love - Ji LanBai's and Hai FenChu's - was only going to destroy her in the end.

"YuLan wishes to be free, Madame." This time, she looked at Hai FenChu.

"You...~!"

Ji ChanFang interrupted them, as he noticed the atmosphere was getting more tense,

"Have you thought it through?" He prompted, "I have never been involved in domestic matters, but I know LanBai loves you very much. If you are to follow her, your future livelihood is guaranteed."

As his second wife glared at him, he added further with a cough, "But of course, if you want to marry separately, we definitely won't do you wrong in selecting your future husband. You will marry well."

YuLan thought bitterly, "Of course, that is the ultimate concern of any female in this era."

"Neither is what YuLan wishes for, Master. YuLan thanks everyone for your well intention, but YuLan does not want to be shackled."

Ji ChanFang paused as he looked at the young woman. 

Her gaze - free spirited and unwavering - was very similar to a certain someone he knew a long time ago.  His heart somewhat softened.

"If that is what you wa...- ," 

"DEFINITELY NOT!!" Hai FenChu bellowed, interrupting Ji ChanFang. He blinked; it was the first time the soft spoken and well-tempered second wife of his ever raised her voice; and to interrupt him, no less.

"YuLan, what are you going to do outside?" She gripped her arms tighter, "You are just a woman! What can you do outside by yourself??"

YuLan grit her teeth as Hai FenChu shook her body. 

"You can only be safe and happy if you have a good man looking after you," Hai FenChu continued, "And that is exactly what I intend to do for you, YuLan, can't you see?"

"Now, where have I heard that before?" YuLan was immediately reminded of her own mother from her previous life.

"Chu-er...," Ji ChanFang muttered, "She is capable of deciding for herself."

Although YuLan might have been a sensible personal friend to Ji LanBai, she was still an outsider. As for her maid status, no one in the family thought of her as one since a long time ago. "She is a stranger to us. Why does Chu-er go out of her way to hold her back?" 

"No! She is NOT going anywhere!" Hai FenChu shook her head vigorously.

There was a knock on the door, and everyone turned to see Ji SongLi who had appeared suddenly.

Hai FenChu let out a breath of relief and stood, walking towards her son,

"Li-er. Thank goodness you're here. Please say something to knock some sense to YuLan...-"

Ji SongLi patted her hand but was silent as he walked into the room.

Then he knelt besides YuLan.

Ji ChanFang's and Wu JianRui's brows furrowed.

Hai FenChu was dumbfounded.

"Father, First Mother, Mother, " Ji SongLi greeted them, while glancing at the young woman kneeling besides him. He then returned his gaze towards his father,

"Please grant YuLan's wish!"

"Li-er!!" Hai FenChu's figure shook. "Does he hate her that much?" She thought.

"Do you dislike her that much? Do you really want to drive her out?" She could never understand what her son was thinking.

He had not agreed to her wish to adopt YuLan as a daughter of the Ji family.

But he gave his most prized guqin to YuLan.

And now, he wanted YuLan to leave Ji house?

Ji SongLi's fists were curled tightly as he maintained his bowing gesture.

"If by chaining her by my side would make her look my way; If it would make her want me like I desperately want her... . Then I would have done it myself."

"If Mother is worried, we can dispatch some guards to keep her journey safe." Ji SongLi looked at Hai FenChu,

"And we can give her some allowance so she can live well, wherever she chooses to be at."

"But, that is not the point...," Hai FenChu stuttered.

"Chu-er!" Ji ChanFang growled in low warning. 

If the person in question herself wanted to go, why spent so much effort to convince her otherwise?

And for Ji ChanFang,  Ji SongLi's idea to keep her safe throughout her journey after she left the Ji house was perfectly acceptable as well. No freed servant would ever enjoy this kind of treatment, and Ji ChanFang thought YuLan deserved the privilege. 

"YuLan. Even if you don't wish to be married to another household, like Chu-mei has suggested," Wu JianRui opened her mouth this time, "Why won't you consider to follow Bai-er to the Third Prince household?" She added, "You have been friends with the Princes since small, and Ji LanBai loves you."

"She will be heartbroken if you disappear," She thought, and tried to coax her, "I am sure the Third Prince will look after you properly."

Ji SongLi's fists balled tighter.

YuLan let out a bitter smile, "First Madame, that is more of the reason that YuLan cannot follow LanBai to the Third Prince's household."

"The Third Prince has previously expressed his... slight interest in YuLan," she added carefully.

Perhaps Prince GuoFu did not have such inclination towards her anymore after their talk at his estate before. But if she were going to enter his estate in the future, who was to say that undesirable feeling would not bloom again?

Wu JianRui's mouth was slightly opened as she started to comprehend what she meant, but Ji ChanFang merely knitted his eyebrows,

"And what is the issue with that? It is perfectly normal for a mistress' maid to attend to the master as well...."

Wu JianRui glared at her husband and only then he shut his mouth. Of course Ji ChanFang never touched any other woman or maid apart from his first wife, and Hai FenChu to a certain extent before the latter got pregnant with Ji SongLi.

However it was indeed perfectly common in ancient era; dowry maids - that YuLan would be if she were to follow Ji LanBai - were to attend to their mistress' husband's bedroom needs whenever their mistress was incapable of the deed. Such as, when their mistress was having her period, or when the mistress became pregnant and was encouraged to not have any intimate contact with the husband for the unborn baby's well-being.

YuLan tried her best to not roll her eyes at Ji ChanFang before speaking slowly,

"If the Third Prince's favor towards YuLan becomes more than his affection towards Ji LanBai," she added, "Is First Madame truly alright with that outcome?"

The answer was clear; of course no mother would ever wish that on their own daughter. 

YuLan might take Ji LanBai's feelings into consideration. But knowing how her daughter was and how Ji LanBai fully trusted and adored this particular maid, who's not so say that Ji LanBai herself would not actually wrap Zhang GuoFu in red ribbons and deliver her own husband for YuLan?

Wu JianRui suddenly felt a headache.

Everyone was deep in their own thought, before a small figure suddenly burst into the room, joining Ji SongLi and Bai YuLan in kneeling posture.

It was Xiao Hui.

She repeatedly banged her head on the floor as she bowed over and over again. She only stopped when YuLan threw herself at the latter to forcefully stop her and when Ji SongLi hold her arms rigidly to avoid her banging her head again.

Ji ChanFang sighed loudly when he saw his daughter's other maid arrival. He must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, all matters kept popping out one after another,

He kneaded his aching temple with his fingers, "Just speak whatever you want to say!"

Xiao Hui buried her head into her sleeves as she bowed deeply, but everyone could notice the red bump on her forehead from the earlier impacts,

"Master! Please let this lowly one leave with Xiao Hua  - I mean - YuLan!"

"Xiao Hui!" YuLan gasped. She did not expect that Xiao Hui would eavesdrop and suddenly got involved. YuLan could only be relieved that currently Ji LanBai was being fully occupied with Sun Chen's literature lesson that she could not possibly hear or know whatever was being transcribed currently.

"Xiao Hua!" Xiao Hui looked at her with teary eyes, "I will go wherever you will go! Don't leave me!"

YuLan blinked at the unexpected turn of events. Of course, she would be lying if she said she was not delighted at Xiao Hui's care towards her. But if Xiao Hui were to follow Ji LanBai, she would be living a relatively good life - as good as a servant could live. After all, Ji LanBai was a pretty good employer, and Zhang GuoFu's estate was also an abundant household. In worldly things, Xiao Hui would lack nothing there.

"Silence!!" Ji ChanFang finally growled louder. 

"I will release you, YuLan," he looked at her then towards Xiao Hui, "And you... uh... little maid..."

"This lowly one's name is Xiao Hui, Master!" Xiao Hui's eyes brightened.

"Yes...," Ji ChanFang just waved his hand haphazardly.

"I will release the both of you of your employment contract."

"Husband!" Hai FenChu protested, but could only hold her tongue as he looked sharply at her in warning.

Which meant his decision was final.

"SongLi." Ji ChanFang looked at his son.

"Yes, Father."

"You shall arrange a couple of guards to accompany them on their journey to keep them safe."

"This son understands." He cupped his fists, "I will even do it myself."

"And that is final." He turned again towards Hai FenChu, but his gaze softened as he noticed his second wife was silent with tears now flowing down her face. He coughed lightly and turned towards YuLan,

"When do you wish to leave?"

YuLan lowered her head in gratitude,

"The day LanBai leaves to the Palace to see Her Majesty."

"That will be the only day she will be separated from me."

*** *** ***

Days passed quickly.

There was a pang in her heart whenever Ji LanBai happily chatted away with her. The Young Miss chatted about any matter she could think of. Lately it was details of the Palace and her imagination of the day on when she would meet the Empress, which was approaching pretty soon.

Wu JianRui drilled etiquette lessons into her and Sun Chen also spent extra days to teach her literature, much to Ji LanBai's dismay.

Every end of day, Ji LanBai would bury her head inside the blanket -

- on YuLan's bed.

Ever since she was promised her freedom, YuLan never denied Ji LanBai's wish to sleep with her at night.

Perhaps it was her guilty conscience, despite what she knew was the best decision for herself and her future.

She believed it was the best for Ji LanBai's future as well.

"Do you think the Empress will be mean? Will she like me?" One night, Ji LanBai whispered as they were all tucked in bed, "She was... a bit mean during the banquet..."

YuLan chuckled as she tucked a strand hair behind the younger girl's ears,

"I am sure she will love you, LanBai. No one could ever dislike you."

"Un~!" Ji LanBai nodded, "She is GuoFu-ge's Imperial Mother. I will do my best to not cause him any shame. He is my future husband. I should make him proud."

YuLan could not help but to clap her hands inside her heart.

Wu JianRui's etiquette lessons had not been for nothing.

"And when I return from the Palace, YuLan...," she yawned as she buried her head closer to YuLan's chin,

"I will drop by that famous cake shop two blocks away from the Palace..."

"I heard that their mung bean pastries are .... extre..me..ly.... good...."

YuLan could only be silent as she listened to Ji LanBai's soft inaudible snore as the latter was finally asleep. 

"This girl is so loved by everyone. One less Bai YuLan will make her sad... perhaps for a while... but for her sake, for my sake, she will have to learn to live without me."

She convinced herself with that thought, a trickle of tear on her cheek as she kissed the sleeping girl's forehead, then she also drifted to sleep.

 

She convinced herself with that thought, a trickle of tear on her cheek as she kissed the sleeping girl's forehead, then she also drifted to sleep

 

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