[16:34] (#terminal 0713) > Detected life-threatening situation.
[16:34](#terminal 0713) > Computing chances of survival of the terminal user without outside help. Predicted result ≤ 2 %.
[16:35](#terminal 0713) > Computed result = 1.059 %. Sending data to @SystemsServiceMod.
[16:35](#terminal 0713)Data send.
[16:36] (#SysHelper 0024) established connection to (#terminal 0713)
[16:36](#SysHelper 0024) After the assessment of data, the critical situation of the (#terminal) bearer was confirmed. Starting life-saving measures according to $Safety_Policy12.11.1992.
[16:36](#SysHelper 0024)Checking user log for system affinities.
[16:37](#SysHelper 0024)Checked. Assessment results: Pervert system |A class,B difficulty|- 38%, Procrastinator system|F class, E difficulty| - 45% , Gonzo system|B class , S+ difficulty|...
[16:37](#SysHelper 0024)Error. No system with compatibility over 75 points was detected .
[16:37](#SysHelper 0024)Implying measures according to $IfUserIsUseless14.01.1999
[16:38](#SysHelper 0024)Sending installation pack of system with highest affinities .
[16:38](#SysHelper 0024)GonSys.ekze send to (#terminal 0713)
[16:38] (#terminal 0713)>System installation pack detected . User confirmation required
[16:39] (#terminal 0713)>Install GonSys.ekze (Y/N) ?
As I see such a chat between who knows who , I understand that the punch to the head I received was very hard. At least hard enough to awake any sleeping psychiatric illness I didn't know about before this moment.
Or , I am a protagonist of a novel with such overused tropes like Systems and similar shit which was agonizing over 2 decades ago. Nu-uh , I prefer to be a psycho.
Anyway, lack of oxygen is a very good stimulus to make a crazy choice. So , why not ? Yes.
And nothing.
Yes. Still nothing.
Yes. Si. Da. Oui. Ya … React to something , bitch!
[16:40](#terminal 0713)>No option chosen in 30 seconds
Voice confirmation is required to proceed with the installation.
Somehow I have a feeling that this piece of shit is mocking me.
"Brryeshhh" Well talking isn't easy underwater.
[16:40](#terminal 0713)User voice detected . Taking into regard user's environment …
GonSys.ekze detected. Install ?(Brryeshhh twice for Y / Brryeshhh once for N)
The Feeling is confirmed , bitch detected. I'll remember this.
"Brryeshhh-brryeshh" Oh , this is such a wonderful way to feel stupid before death.
[16:40](#terminal 0713)Installation accepted . Proceeding 1%... 55%... 100%
[Rebooting]
Looking back at my experiences today , I'm not even will be surprised to see a Blue screen of death right now.
[16:41](@GonzoAi002)Thank you for choosing Gonzo System. Let's get the world to see the truth . Well , our " truth "
[16:41](@GonzoAi002)[Newbie gift pack] x3 detected . Open ?
Finally , now I'm going to be OP , am I not ?
"Brropn" Still feel stupid.
[16:41](@GonzoAi002)Dear user , system Ai is capable of registering mental messages .Concentrate on typing like in any messengers you are familiar with. Opening [ Newbie gift pack] s anyway.
[16:41](@GonzoAi002)|Animal language, B-tier| acquired. Installing.
Please , user , hold your breath. Not comfortable feelings are expected.
Mmggrrrah. Being electrocuted isn't "not comfortable". It's fucking painful.
[16:42](@GonzoAi002)|Battle skill *Kamehameha*A-tier| acquired . Installing . User , please , get ready again.
Fucking fucked fuck. Great I'll get my brain fried just before drowning to death .
[16:42](@GonzoAi002)|Water breathing pill (30 minutes) C-tier| acquired.The pill is put in the system inventory.
That's it ? It's just a joke, right? There is no way that a man with a system , no matter how madly it sounds , will just die like this , right ?Right ?
These packs were rigged , I'm sure of it. Don't mess with me! I feel Karen awakening inside me. I'm gonna complain.Concentrate did it say ?
[16:42](@GonzoUser002)System !
[16:42](@GonzoAi002)I'm not a system per se . I'm an assistant for users, to make access to some system functions more convenient . My name is obviously GonzoAi002. You can call me Ai for short.
[16:43](@GonzoUser002)OK , Ai. If you don't know , I'm slightly in pinch right now Do you think I give a damn fuck about names right now ? Why do these packs are so "useful" , may you explain ? They are rigged ! You're an assistant , connect me to a manager or something . I can't stand such bullshit service!
[16:43](@GonzoAi002) -_-
[16:43](@GonzoAi002)2 stage , anger . Good old humans.
[16:43](@GonzoUser002)Wtf are you blabbering ? Do something useful!
[16:43](@GonzoAi002)I'm a system assistant not a user's nanny . But , because it's our first meeting I'll be big-hearted today.
[16:44](@GonzoAi002)User should accept my recommendation to eat available consumables.I assume you don't have enough oxygen to complain around
[16:44](@GonzoAi002){Changing @GonzoUser002 to @GonzoUserLowIq001}
[16:44](@GonzoAi002)You don't care about the name anyway
[16:44](@GonzoUserLowIq001)...
Well, AI is right about it.And it's petty.
[16:44](@GonzoUserLowIq001)How do I get it from the inventory ?
[16:44](@GonzoAi002)Send =Retrieve "desired item" to chat. I will be magnanimous again and send the pill directly to the User's mouth . User should be grateful.
[16:45](@GonzoUserLowIq001)Whatever.=Retrieve"Water breathing pill"
[16:45](@GonzoAi002)Proceeding. Done
Ironically , water breathing pill tastes like tuna. Could be worse anyway.
So , I'm supposed to breathe . In and out. Fuuu , haaah . Fuuu , haaa. It
works. If I should compare it feels similar to the mountain air .
Hurray , I will die a half hour later. Haaa… Somehow such up and down made me lose my bearings. I was really ready to die before this schizophrenic shit.Ouch , OUCH!
"Food" *bite*
"Meat" *bite*
"Tasty" *bite*
Oookay, I've got a company.Obviously , fishes . Just great.
"Fuck off"
"It talks"
"Run"
Seems Animal language works too. In both ways , no less. Fine. At least I have time to assess the situation calmly.
A few minutes later
[16:51](@GonzoUserLowIq001)Hey , AI.
[16:51](@GonzoAi002)?
[16:51](@GonzoUserLowIq001)Newbie packs. Were they rigged ?
[16:51](@GonzoAi002)...
[16:52](@GonzoAi002)Yes and no . They were made to help with current events around users. If the user is unable to use gifts right it's not the system's problem.
[16:52](@GonzoUserLowIq001)Well, thanks And sorry about before.
[16:52](@GonzoAi002)This benevolent Ai accepts User gratitude and apologies.
Such a narcissistic piece of code…
Of 3 gifts I still have not used Kamehameha. And I don't know how.
[16:52](@GonzoUserLowIq001)Ai , I've got a battle skill haven't I? How do I use it? And what it does do?
[16:53](@GonzoAi002)For particular reasons User can't get skill information . In short - it's an energy blast . To use any active system skill voice activation is required in tandem with the mental desire to use a skill.
Seems simple, right?
"Kamehameha!" I am sure the skill is activated because I feel like all my energy , my Qi , gathering in my hands . Which are still tied behind my back . Fuck.
*BOOM*
