4- Skipping leg day gets you stabbed
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 I'll be leaving stat sheets with mc's current info at the time a chapter begins from now on. Let me know if it's annoying or not.

Name: Fister mantastic
Level: 7
EXP until next: 10000

Class: Sexual deviant
Rank: Erectile dysfunctional
Title: Cross-species fluid taster. -50 charisma (earned for tasting orgasmic fluid from 1 species)

STATS:
Hp: 125/250
Mp: 30/100
Stamina: 500

ATTRIBUTES:
Strength: 5
Constitution: 40
Dexterity: 8
Smarts: 7
Charisma: -48
Luck: 0

SPELLS:
-Orgasmo (make any creature cum)
-Aero (Lv2)
-Fly (Lv2)

SKILLS:
-Orgasmic Fluid Forensics - (learn spells, skills, affinities and racial traits from the dna found in ingested orgasmic fluids. Ingest more and fill out dna profile to raise levels)
-Swipe
-Enhanced Sight

AFFINITIES:
Air magic cast power and resistance increased by 2%.

 

Ya’ll have a pet? A cat that’s a bit too independent or a cute puppy that makes your heart melt, perhaps? That’s nice. I wanted a pet growing up but living with a druggie mom and a slew of “step-dads” in a cockroach infested tenement that was a step from being condemned got in the way of that. I had a particular soft spot for small furry creatures like hamsters, gerbils and ferrets.

I wasn’t interested in them anymore tho. This change of heart came about recently. As in a few minutes ago, when I was woken up by a level 8 horned rabbit creature called a Carbun stabbing me through one of my thighs. Made me lose a whole 30 hp, that prick. Only had 95 out of 250 left now.

At least I wasn’t feeling pain from the attack. Wasn’t feeling anything at all to be honest. I busted my spine when I landed from the mountain and now my legs were like limp noodles. You could pinch them, slap them, spit on them or in the case of the horned rabbit, pierce them with a clear crystal looking horn and I didn’t feel squat. My arms still worked tho.

I had used those to crawl away from the base of the mountain to greener pastures. It was a slow going process. I had been at it for days and didn’t seem closer to, well… anywhere. All I had seen so far were endless fields of grass with the odd boulder or bush scattered here or there. Lace Papa had told me to head south but I sincerely did not know where the hell I was, less which direction south was in. I tried using the sun to navigate till I remembered I wasn’t on Earth anymore, so those tricks wouldn’t work. All I had gotten out of doing that were sun spots in my eyes and a headache.

I had stopped at some point when I remembered the attribute points I had yet to allocate. Out of immediate danger, I had taken a bit of time to get knowledgeable on the system.

Leveling up gave me one Level point (LP) and two attribute points (AP). LP’s would, by my choice, increase either my HP, MP or Stamina by 50. At level 20, that number would double to 100, at level 30 it would triple to 150 and so on.

I had tentatively put one point in MP, to see if doing so would bring it back to full like when I leveled up but it didn't work. I still only had 30MP left out of my current pool of 150. I had put two points in HP and the remaining three in MP. Stamina was high right now so didn't need any.

Ap’s on the other hand, raised one of six attributes;

Strength was obvious. Had to do with how hard I could hit, how much I could carry and what weapons and armors I could equip. Only having 5 points in that category kinda made me feel emasculated…

Constitution was a measure of how resilient my body was to physical damage and to certain physical status effects, like poison for example. I would already be griffin fodder if I hadn’t started with 40 points already allocated in that category. I had no idea why it was so high but I was grateful. Wont need to put anything here for a while.

Smarts made your brain work better so you could think faster. It increased resistance against mental status ailments like confusion. It also made you more intelligent but not in a typical manner. I wouldn’t suddenly become a genius by putting points here. No, most of that extra “processing power” went to controlling mana subconsciously, making you better at casting spells or defending against it. The level of physics knowledge required to make magic work would make Stephen Hawking look like a retard so the system helped compile and process that information.

Dexterity raised my body’s speed and control. It also improved my reflexes, hand-eye coordination, how fast I swung and ran. This would’ve been helpful back when those ganged up kids used to chase me around the neighborhood to kick my ass and steal my shoes.

Charisma. How much do people like you? Normally you wouldn’t truly know. Sadly, I do. I had -48 right now. Shop owners were going to try to fleece me and I probably wasn’t going to get invited to any parties anytime soon. It was so low that there was no point in sinking points into it.

Luck. I had none of it which meant crap loot drops. Also, if a monster was out hunting and had multiple targets, it would choose the one with the lowest luck first, which would be me in every case from now on. The worst part of it was that I couldn't raise my Luck due to my class. The option was grayed out. Sexual deviants don’t get no good fortunes in this world apparently.

With Luck and Charisma out of the picture, Constitution already high enough for now and Dexterity pointless since I couldn't fucking walk, the choice was easy. I put ten in Strength and the last two in Smarts.

Another thing I learned is that I was currently under a status ailment called Fracture. There was an effect called Paralyzed that, has the name suggested, put your entire body in a state where you couldn’t move. Fracture was an offshoot of that, putting a paralyzing curse on a localized region of the skeleton that had been broken. Could be cured by a spell called Mend, with items or by waiting one week for my system reinforced bones to heal by themselves. Guess me and the ground would remain intimate for the next few days.

Once done poring over menus, I had been able to make better time as a slithered across the countryside. With my health halved, my mana low and not being able to move properly, I’d be easy prey. Which was why I was wearing the cosmic panties on my head. I could reach them faster there then from my spatial inventory in case of an emergency. Looked like a goddamn perv tho. I had picked a random direction and kept going for two days before passing out of exhaustion and hunger.

And now I was awake, with a rabbit stuck in my leg. Its horn had gotten stuck in my muscles and sinew it seems. I was ecstatic. I hadn’t eaten since arriving in this world, only surviving thus far by drinking water from dew, puddles or rain. That little bundle of meat looked finger-licking good. Didn’t even have to hunt it down, which was a skill I didn’t have.

Judging by its size and high pitched scream as it struggled to get loose, I think I was dealing with a baby. Its level was a lot lower then the griffins. Was it because it was young or was I leaving the high level zone? Maybe the griffins were the area’s apex predator and had cleared the competition? Meh, not important. I was that fluffy bitch’s apex now.

I grabbed the rabbit by the scruff of the neck and yanked it out of my paralyzed limb. Its screams got more desperate and its horn started shinning intermittently like a beacon. Shit, I didn't like the looks of that. I gripped its body and head tightly and was about to snap its neck to kill it but stopped.

Crawling these past few days, on the verge of death, made me realize a few things. My forensic skill was disgusting but also overpowered if used correctly. Judging by everything I went through so far, this was a world were only the strong, only those willing to do whatever necessary to survive would. Ascrak wasn't Earth, I couldn't live by the societal standards set over there. So if doing some borderline bestiality shit was my only way to make it, you can bet your bottom gonads I was going to do so. Lastly, fuck societal standards. I now had op powers, ain't gotta listen to no one anymore. If I get strong enough, I can make my own rules.

I raised the rabbit overhead, opened my mouth then cast orgasmo, collecting the fluids that came out. It’s possible that some of it got in one of my eyes. We may never know what truly happened on that grassy field that day… Definitely need to buy some vials and containers if I ever reach a town tho.

Moments later, I received notifications about the skills I’d just learned.

Learned from Level 8 Carbun: Herbivore (passive), Enhanced hearing (passive), Call for help.

Gained Earth magic affinity. Earth magic cast power and resistance increased by 1%.

I was going to check the information related to the skills I just got, when my new enhanced hearing picked up loud discordant squeaking noises.

I looked to where the sound came from using the enhanced sight skill I’d gotten from the griffin and, a mile down the field were a group of horned rabbits hopping towards me fast. These ones were bigger, level 15 and called Carbuncles. They had a carapace growing on their backs and their horn was longer, thicker and jagged.

I gulped audibly, knowing what that meant for me should they get close. I wouldn't be able to defend myself so I grabbed the panties on my head, intending to slip it, inside out, on the rabbit I was holding, so that the reinforcements were repelled away from us.

As I was fighting against the Carbun’s legs to slip it on, something flashed in the corner of my eye. I saw a bright light emanating from the group rushing us and was hit by a frikin lazer beam. It passed through my left shoulder, leaving an inch wide hole in it and making me drop the panty. It also took 85HP with it.

The shock of the surprise attack also made me let go of the bunny but my instincts kicked in and my good arm whipped out. I caught it again by the tail as its feet left the ground in its attempt to hop away. All the while beams where landing around me, making chunks of dirt explode.

Its funny. It was the second time I was hurt badly and close to death in combat yet my mind felt clear. I knew that I needed the bunny to survive. Maybe it was all the shit I went through in my previous life that made it possible for me to compartmentalize a situation and focus on what I need to do.

I cast Aero, a 5MP air spell that creates a whirlwind that slices creatures sucked within with high speed winds. There were nearly two dozen enemies converging on me. Most of them got sucked up but a few on the fringes escaped the spell. And the whirlwind wasn’t particularly huge or strong. The rabbits caught in it fell back down and I could see that they still had around half their HP left So I cast another one. Even less of them got caught since the group was more spread out after the first one.

Shit. Carbun in hand, I scrambled towards the panty. I could only cast Aero twice more before I was out of Mp so I had to make those count. I needed the enemies grouped up.

I reached the g-string, clenching it in my teeth then tried to get it over the bunny’s head. It was fighting me, jerking his head wildly. It managed to gore me through the cheek. It hurt and all I could taste was blood, worse, I only had 2 HP left. I got so angry and desperate that I slammed the Carbun on the ground stunning it. I strapped the g-string around it’s neck then tossed it away from me. It regained its senses a moment after landing then ran to its companions who swarmed and piled on it to hump it. They formed a compact furry mound that made a very good target for my two remaining Aero spells. When the dust cleared, there were no rabbits left alive.

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