5- The intricate craft of DIY magic underwear
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Name: Fister mantastic
Race: Hooman
Level: 7
EXP until next: 10000

Class: Sexual deviant
Rank: Erectile dysfunctional
Title: Cross-species fluid taster. -50 charisma (earned for tasting orgasmic fluid from 1 species)

STATS:
Hp: 2/350
Mp: 0/300
SP: 500

ATTRIBUTES:
Strength: 15
Constitution: 40
Dexterity: 8
Smarts: 9
Charisma: -48
Luck: 0

SPELLS:
-Orgasmo (make any creature cum)
-Aero (Lv2)
-Fly (Lv2)

SKILLS:
-Orgasmic Fluid Forensics - (learn spells, skills, affinities and racial traits from the dna found in ingested orgasmic fluids. Ingest more and fill out dna profile to raise levels)
-Swipe
-Enhanced Sight
-Herbivore (passive)
-Enhanced hearing (passive)
-Call for help.

AFFINITIES:
Air magic affinity. Air magic cast power and resistance increased by 2%.
Earth magic affinity. Earth magic cast power and resistance increased by 1%.

 

“FIVE EXP!!! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?” I spat out with a voice that couldn’t get any shriller. All those Carbuncles I killed almost made me level up, which would have healed my body and given me my legs back but I was 5 exp short.

Besides myself with anger, I summoned the cosmic panties back to me and kept a lookout for further enemy reinforcements, a sharp griffin talon in both hands in case I needed to defend myself. As if that’d do anything. I had 2HP left, no mana and no combat skills except swipe. Sure, it allowed me to do a fast strike that ignored defense but I had to be all up in my opponent’s face to use it and they’d be in mine.

When I was sure the coast was clear after a tense half hour of scoping the horizon for signs of movement, I slunk my way to the pile of dead bunnies. I lined up the corpses carefully, making sure none of them were just playing dead then began looting. There were 21 teen Carbuncles and the lone baby Carbun, all of them giving me a horn, a pelt and a chunk of meat. The former’s crystal horns were half a meter in length and actually shone with a faint, inner blueish light.

The wind spell had sliced their bodies up pretty bad but interestingly enough, when the pelts appeared in my inventory they weren't damaged. Same with the meat. The second I looted a bunny, I received an expertly skinned undamaged slab of it. The entire process was strange. One moment, the bunnies were whole, and the next, there was only a skinless carcass, and organs in a neat pile next to it, left. At least I wouldn't have to directly deal with blood and guts.

As I worked on them, I imagined being killed and some monster looting me, my neatly dressed remains just lying there afterward. Yeesh, thinking about that kinda of stuff was going to give me an existential crisis.

I focused on happier thoughts, like all this meat I had to eat. I was going to have a big feast and eat till I puke, then probably eat some more. Hell yeah.

My dinner plans were then dashed as I realized I didn’t have anything to make a fire with. No kindling, no sticks to rub together, no rocks to strike a spark. …this world sucked.

As I wondered if I could eat raw meat in this world without getting sick, I remembered the herbivore skill I had gotten earlier and checked it out.

Herbivore (passive): Able to eat and digest any plant. 1HP regenerated per minute while digesting. Plants that would impact your status both positively or negatively will still do so.

My eyes widened at the healing properties of the skill. Needless to say, I ripped out tufts of grass and shoved them in my mouth. The skill didn’t help the flavor, it still tasted like grass. And I occasionally broke into coughing fits as strands got caught in my throat yet I kept eating ravenously. Wish I had water to wash it all down tho.

I lay on my back after the meal, groaning as I ate too much too fast but my HP was already ticking upwards so it was worth it. While the food in my belly was being processed, I took a look at the other skill I had earned.

Call for help (passive on activation): Emit a mana pulse that attracts the attention of members from own species (5 kilometer radius).

So that’s what that blinking light coming from the Carbun’s horn had meant. It also meant that the Carbuncles had come from somewhere within 5 kilometers of here. I’d need to be careful. The skill didn’t use MP but I had to mentally turn it on. I did so hoping that friendlies would come running to my aid at some point. I wasn’t holding my breath of course.

Once done, I returned to a spot I had previously found, a dip in the ground allowing me to hide out-of-sight from monsters that might be lurking about. I watched my HP return slowly for a while. I did the math and it would take five and a half hours until full. Instead of wasting my time staring at the numbers, I decided to spend it more productively. I took out my stacks of patterns and the sewing machine and studied them.

I didn't know what to expect when I first saw the sewing machine but it sure as hell wasn't this. The shape was similar to Earth’s modern versions but the parts that made it up were very different. The back of the machine was a box with squiggly tentacles coming out of it. The box was connected to a sideways pyramid hovering over the middle part, slowly rotating by itself. A white ethereal glowing thread came out the tip and went inside the front cylindrical compartment, which was covered in runes, housing a basic mythril needle.

When I touched the pyramid, I could choose what thread to equip. The basic one, which was in infinite supply, was a filament created by sucking the ambient mana. Needles could also be changed by touching the front compartment.

Going through the list of ingredients of each panty patterns, I noticed that the griffin feathers were one of multiple items used in a specific recipe. That panty auto-cast Float on the wearer but I would also need a Nimbus thread and a Timestrike Hummingbird beak needle. Don’t know if I’d ever end up collecting all that but still, it was good to know. I’ll hold off on selling the feathers if I manage to get to civilization.

My breath caught when I found the Lesser mana siphoning thong recipe. It was an MP regenerating Carbuncle build that I could actually craft right away, already having the necessary items to make it.

My hands were shaking as I navigated the menu to change the basic needle to a Carbuncle horn, which magically compressed into size and shape. I was way too excited at the prospect of getting my MP back and needed to reign myself in. The only other things I needed were the basic mana filament and the pelts.

The basic panty form proved easy enough to create. I cut the pelts to shape using the sharp end of the talons, which sliced through them like butter, then sewed it all together. What made completing the build complicated were the specific runes I had to sew in at specific spots. They were small and had intricate symbols within their borders.

A few hours later, I took a break, having messed up on my 7th attempt. Just one line slightly out of alignment when stitching a rune and the whole thing unraveled, scorching the surrounding area, which destroyed other runes and started a chain reaction. Managed to singe my fingers once or twice.

I took this time to try an idea I had. I was wondering if I could create anything outside of recipes so cut a pelt into a rough water-skin shape, sewed it shut using the basic mana and needle setup and wouldn’t you know it, it actually worked. I would now be able to collect water. Or other liquids…

I wanted to put it inside my spatial inventory but couldn’t-only system recognized items were allowed in there. With the rest of the scraps, I made a second one, a coin purse, a blanket and a sling bag to store my creations. Almost made some clothes too but decided to keep all my remaining resources for the build I was trying to perfect as that was way more important than a bit of comfort. Besides, with my high constitution, this region’s weather wasn’t an issue.

Then for the heck of it, I attempted to sew two horns together to see if hard items could be magically stitched with the basic setup I had; Some recipes called for dragon scales or crystal shells so I know it wasn’t impossible.

No dice. They disintegrated when the needle made contact. As in literally turned to dust in my hands. I figured it had to do with certain types of ingredients needing specific needles and thread to work.

I returned to work on the main project, slowly but surely making less mistakes. On my 12th attempt, I received a prompt.

Created lesser mana siphoning thong (mediocre quality) - Grants wearer MP regen (passive).

12MP/H (max. 50MP/H)

Not bad I told myself, smiling. But I could do better. I had to increase the quality to reach the pantie’s full potential. I tried again and again. By the time I ran out of pelts, I had a thong of “Serviceable quality” that offered 36 MP/H regen.

I was so happy I almost shed a tear. Almost. Not only would I be able to get MP back and be able to defend myself but I finally had something to wear. My junk had been grinding against the harsh ground for days. Not a feeling men wanted to have. Now all I needed was a fire spell to cook stuff and I was good to go. Judging by my luck on this planet so far tho, I’d probably have to “milk” a dragon for that. I shuddered at the thought.

The sun was setting by the time I was done crafting my gear. I put everything away and checked my health-it was back to full now. I stretched my left arm and felt no pain or tightness from where the lazer hit me. There was no scarring either. Still didn't know how the rabbits had pulled that one off.

I was tired so was going to get some shut eye until dawn. Before going to sleep, I did a quick sweep of the fields to make sure nothing was going to get the jump on me in the middle of my REM cycle. The coast was clear but I noticed something strange.

There was a glow in the distance. It came from the same direction as were the Carbuncles had come from. Part of me wanted to go investigate, while the other, more reasonable part said it was a dumb risk to take, especially since it was dark and I couldn't see much. After a heated internal debate, I decided that I would definitely not go tonight.

I was nearing the glow after an hour of careful slithering, cursing my inquisitive mind as I traveled. I crested a hillock and when I peaked at the other side, my mouth dropped. There was a bunch of holes in the ground. There was also Carbuncles. A lot of Carbuncles. Hundreds of them chilling outside, horns shining in unison and repelling the dark. I think I just found their warren.

 

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