After leaving Midas' apartment, Mari stopped in front of Shade's door and knocked. "Read!" Shade shouted angrily.

"Hey, it's Mari; can I please talk to you?"

There were rustling and clinking noises, then the door cracked open. "It's not really a great time." He reeked of alcohol. She pushed past him. "Hey; I didn't say you could come in," He protested.

"My dad owns the place, so..." Looking around, she saw bottles beside the kitchen sink, they looked dusty. "What have you been drinking?" She asked, disgusted.

"Whatever the last guy left in the cabinet."

"Do you normally drink like this?"

Shade sank into the booth seat at his dining table. "I haven't had a drink in five years. Then, at the club, when someone put one in my hand, I thought- Hey life is great, this is fun, what's the harm? So I drink, then I get another, and another, and another..." Shade mumbled, "And then I fuck things up..." Shade put his hands over his face; the public bathroom, really? Drunk and stupid...

"Yeah, okay; this fucking stops here then." At that moment, Midas had been walking past Shade's door, intending to take a walk outside to clear his mind. Hearing Mari's voice from Shade's room grabbed his attention and her words worried him; is she threatening him? Midas checked the door and it wasn't locked so he stepped in quietly. Neither of them noticed him; they were focused on each other. The stench of alcohol hit Midas and he saw Mari pouring bottles down the drain. She was speaking firmly, "I know all the bartenders and the lady who runs supply. You are cut off; they will not give you any alcohol." Shade said nothing. He watched her emptying the bottles; and now this is her first impression of you. Shame consumed him as he looked back down at the table, unsure how to act.

"What's going on?" Midas asked them.

Shade and Mari looked at him, startled. "Well-" Mari started.

"She's helping me..." Shade answered sadly. "There's still a little more in that cabinet," He pointed. Suddenly, he didn't feel well; oh no! He stood and rushed into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

Mari and Midas soon heard vomiting sounds. Midas frowned and Mari looked at him, "He was drunk."

"Clearly."

"He's been sober five years; he drank at the club. Then, as he phrased it, he 'fucked things up'."

Midas approached the bathroom door, "Shade?" They heard a scramble and the lock clicking.

"Do not come in here!"

"Okay..."

After some time, the door opened and Shade emerged. He looked at Midas, then at Mari, then back at Midas. "She knows..."

"Yes; Jason told her."

"I'm sorry; you didn't want others to know, right- I shouldn't have-" Shade began his apology; I'm so sorry. I even promised to be discreet...

"I'm sorry; even so, I never should have reacted that way. I have no excuse for it. I- Can't put into words why I don't want others to know. I don't know what it is, exactly, I'm afraid of but it's me, not you." Midas tried to explain; even I think this sounds like bullshit- What is wrong with me?

"Ugh, that line-" Shade groaned.

"Why don't you show me your face?" Midas countered.

"I-it's..." Shade stuttered.

"It's not me?" Midas asked in a softer tone; is that what I'm more afraid of than anything? The fact that I don't know him... He has no actual face to me; and yet, I can't ever seem to look away when I see it. Midas looked into the eye holes of Shade's mask, feeling the eye contact even though he could never see his eyes.

"You're right; it's me, not you." Shade leaned against the door frame, suddenly very dizzy.

"Hey, Mari, you should leave now. I'll take things from here," Midas looked at her, still speaking softly.

"Okay," Mari nodded, leaving the room.

 

Mari went to Jason's apartment; they sat in his living room to talk. "So, what did he say?" Jason asked her.

"Well; that Shade is the first man he's ever been with, that the restroom was not their first time, and that Shade is cursed, like him, but different."

"He's cursed too!" Jason was surprised. "I know that the coin went missing but it's been so long... I assumed we'd never know what happened to it."

"We never knew exactly what else it could do either. His hand is cursed to kill what he touches with it."

"I wonder what he wished for to make that happen..." Jason frowned.

"Anyway, Dad seems..." She trailed off. "I don't know; but, there is something between them that feels different and I don't think it's just because he's a man. Maybe it's the curse but maybe something else too?" Jason nodded, listening. "I went to talk to Shade after dad but he was drunk. I guess he's an alcoholic and he had a relapse tonight; he seemed so ashamed about all of it. Dad is caring for him now."

"One night, I saw your dad acting weird at the club and we had a short talk. Looking back, it makes more sense now. I think he was questioning himself."

"Yeah; I heard him tell Shade he doesn't want anyone to know..."

"I guess coming out is hard, even if you've supported others..."

"Yeah... I'm not even sure if that's the only thing. He asked Shade why he won't show his face; so, I guess Dad doesn't know what he looks like either."

"That's strange..."

"Yeah," Mari sighed. "I reminded him that we love him no matter what. Now, I guess we just keep an eye on him... I hope he doesn't get hurt somehow."

"I hope so too," Jason agreed.

 

"Alright, you have a choice here," Midas declared. "Either, I'm staying here until you've sobered a bit and I'm sufficiently pleased you are not going to pass out and choke on your own vomit." Shade looked to the floor, filled with shame again. "Or, you can sober up in the infirmary with a nurse looking after you- Since I know you may not want to be near me right now-" Midas' voice faded slightly, "After the way I treated you..."

"I always want to be near you," Shade admitted.

Midas' heart skipped a beat, "You do?"

"Yes- I don't know when it happened... I didn't know I could feel the way I feel with you. I want you around all the time. I can't stop thinking about you." In his inebriated state, Shade was being very honest.

Midas realized the alcohol was having a bit of a truth serum effect; it's wrong to take advantage, right? This is my chance though... "Did I hurt you when I pushed you?" Midas asked, guilt suddenly consuming him.

"Nah- I had a panic attack but I'm fine," Shade brushed it off.

"Have you been to see Carla?

"Who's Carla?"

"That's a no then; she's the therapist."

"I did not..."

"Have you had your onboarding check-up with one of our doctors? All new recruits are supposed to get one but I haven't received verification that you have yet."

"I have been ignoring that email." Shade stated; I'm surprised I've gotten away with putting it off. When I saw that- I was sure that was going to be the end of pretending to be Shade. If doctors got a look at me they'd find out everything. In addition to revealing Shade was actually Vee, there were other things that Vee's body would reveal if examined. Vee had tattoos that identified her as being part of the Desmond Mafia on the back of her shoulders. Shade was sure that if doctors were to do an examination, the tattoos would be recognized and Midas would be informed that Shade was actually a Desmond Enforcer. "I was assuming some kind of reprimand was coming... Or that I'd be forced to soon; but, I don't want to be examined..."

"Why? Why are you avoiding treatment?"

"I don't need medical treatment," Shade insisted.

"A check-up is how you determine if that's true," Midas countered.

"It involves a complete physical examination-" Shade began.

"Yeah, so?" Midas interrupted. "They are doctors- Real doctors." Midas sighed; he's even afraid to show a doctor his body? "Surely a doctor is not remotely the same as someone else seeing you!?"

"They will tell you everything though."

"Tell me what? They only tell me things vital to your job performance. Why do you think there's something they would feel the need to tell me?" Last time I asked you why you wouldn't show yourself, you tried to tell me you're ugly- Doctors obviously aren't going to tell me you're ugly; Midas wondered what Shade could possibly be so worried about.

"They will tell you things..."

"Oh my God," Midas was finding drunk Shade exasperating. "What kind of things!? I already know about the leg- What's bigger than that!?"

"Things like... I'm five-foot-six," Shade blurted out.

"What are you talking about?" Midas was now sure that this was some weird, alcohol-induced delusion.

"Think for a moment- Have you ever seen me sitting down?"

"Of course I have; you were sitting when I first came in here," Midas rubbed his forehead. He felt like he may get a migraine; he is completely crazy when he's drunk! No wonder he stopped...

"What did my legs look like?"

"What? They..." Midas couldn't picture it, his legs would have been under the table. Shade grabbed a kitchen chair, dragging it, then he turned it toward Midas and sat in front of him. Shade's legs were stretched out in front of him, instead of his feet being flat on the floor, which would have been impossible, as below the knees his legs were far too long. "What am I looking at here?" Midas asked, puzzled.

Shade rolled up his left pant leg to his ankle, revealing the athletic stilt; he removed it and put his foot flat on the floor. He rolled up the other pant leg to above his knee, revealing the prosthetic. He removed the prosthetic, showing his wrapped stump. "See that wardrobe there?" Shade pointed. "Please hand me what's in the bottom." Midas opened the wardrobe, finding a shorter, foot-shaped prosthetic. He retrieved it, passing it to Shade. Shade put it on and then stood up; he was considerably shorter than Midas. "I've been careful; I only sit when my legs won't be seen and I appear to slouch when I do, so no one notices the height shrinkage. The cloak would cover proportion issues so long as no one notices my arm length; people don't pay that much attention though. I had to get more creative with regular clothes. This waistcoat is overly long but makes my torso seem correct." The waistcoat did look too long; Shade removed it, leaving the correctly fitted, button-down shirt.

"Why?" Midas had never seen anything so baffling.

"When you're short, everyone believes they'll win the fight. There is no hesitation; they hit you full force. When you're six-six though- Even the big guys think twice. I noticed it in you too; you were intimidated by me a bit. You're over six foot tall yourself but you had that moment of fear. Sometimes, that's all the advantage needed, just a moment," He explained. He mumbled his next thought. "Then, I think you were maybe turned on by the fact that I was slightly taller, so- Guess that's ruined now..."

Midas blushed, "It wasn't, just, the height."

"What?"

"I can't lie, the height was- New, and kind of nice, but mainly you took charge. You tied me up and took the lead. I've had lots of partners, women, but none of them ever did anything quite like that. Some are bolder than others, they state what they like, what they want- But they don't steer, I always do. Switching that up... I like that."

"I guess I did do that." Shade hesitated; I have been bolder with him than I imagined I ever could be... I wonder why? He kept looking at me like he wanted me to take the lead... I like it too, being in control for once. "You know, I've never done that before- The steering, as you phrased it. I don't know where it came from with you."

Midas sat on the bed and patted beside him, "Sit with me." Shade obliged, sitting beside him. "This is the first time you've mentioned your sexual past. So please, tell me- I know I asked you before but, have you ever had something done to you that you didn't agree to?" Shade hung his head, placing his hands on his neck and rubbing. Midas gently removed one of Shade's hands. "You do that a lot..."

Shade sighed. "Has something happened to me sexually that I didn't agree to? Yes, lots of things- More than-" He hesitated and tears began to flow.

"More than?" Midas squeezed his hand.

"More things that I haven't than I have..." Midas' heart sank; he pulled Shade into a gentle hug. Shade cried on his shoulder and Midas' heart hurt for him. He held him for a while without saying anything.

When it seemed as though the tears had stopped, Midas finally spoke. "Last week, in my office- Did you have a panic attack because you thought I was going to make you do something? Have you been forcing yourself to be with me?"

"No. I've only done what I wanted to do with you. I know you won't make me do anything; I've overheard women talk about you- They said you'll always stop if a woman doesn't want to continue..."

"I truly believe that I've never hurt a woman and I really hope that I'm right and that there isn't one out there who disagrees... I got really worried that I'd hurt you though; it's truly the first time I'd ever felt I may have. Do you know why you had a panic attack? If you weren't afraid that I'd make you do something and you just told me you want to be with me all the time. I just don't understand- I'm not blaming you for anything; but, I can't figure out if what we're doing is okay."

"If it's okay?" Shade wasn't sure what he meant.

"Knowing that you've experienced sexual trauma, thinking about how things between us have gone-" Midas sighed. "I don't want to be hurting you. I never wanted to hurt anyone in that way... I don't think I can continue this unless I know you are getting help. So, please, go see Carla." Midas took his hand, "I'd like to keep seeing you but not if it hurts you."

"The thing is, I've literally hurt you; also, I think you're helping me..."

"Helping in what way?"

"When I take control... It feels good. I've never done that before- I think I might be using you..." Shade put his head in his hands. "When I touch you and you don't touch me, I feel- Powerful. I've never felt powerful before."

"Sexually powerful?"

"Any kind of powerful."

"I never would have guessed that you've not felt powerful before. I mean, haven't you held lives in your hand being an assassin?"

"Killing doesn't make me feel powerful. Others tell me who to kill and I obey, it's kind of the opposite."

"But jacking me off does?" Midas spoke in disbelief.

Shade sighed, "Controlling you does. Even if it's just temporarily controlling your body, your pleasure."

"So, what you want is to control me?"

"Only sometimes, in bed."

"And you don't want to be controlled."

"In bed. Otherwise, you are still my boss too. I've been hired to direct my violence where you aim me, so. Speaking of that though, you've not even given me an assignment other than being ready should the alarm sound. Do you even do assassinations or anything? You aren't known to be particularly violent. Why did you even hire a brute like me?"

"I just didn't want someone else to have you. You know, one of my enemies..."

"I suspected it may be something like that..."

Midas remembered his jealousy from earlier and laughed a little at himself. "I don't want anyone else to have you..." He muttered. "You know, I felt jealous today when you danced with Jason... Not with the women but with him."

"Didn't you hear? He's too young for me," Shade chuckled.

Midas became embarrassed, "You have better self-control than I do. I take home women way younger than myself; I know I shouldn't be doing that."

"I didn't mean it to be an insult to you..." Shade hesitated. "They're adults and they certainly seem happy about it," He added.

"If Mari brought home a man my age though, I think I'd lose it; I'm such a hypocrite."

"So lose it on the inside and hold your tongue if that happens," Shade suggested. "Poor girl has a hard enough time with everyone being afraid of you and all."

"You just met her today- How do you even know that?"

"She's all anyone has been talking about this week. The men here think she's beautiful, because she is, but they're too afraid to make a move. Then when she makes one, they decline. She takes after you too so must be very hard on her."

"I swear, I don't do anything on purpose to make them afraid; they're assuming something I never tried to imply. Mari mostly ignores my- Behaviors with women, without harsh judgment. I had no intention of stopping her adulthood. I was just hoping whoever she brings home, that he, or she, or they, would also be in their twenties is all." Midas laid back on the bed, "Why do you say she takes after me anyway? I always think of her as taking after my wife."

The words 'my wife' rang in Shade's ears a moment; not late wife or her mother, simply 'my wife'... "I'm sure she does, it's probably easier for you to see your wife's traits in her than your own." Shade laid back too, turning on his side to face Midas. "But she did try to hit on me, then tried to set me up. Does that sound familiar?" Shade laughed. Midas had regretted saying 'my wife' so abruptly to him. When Shade repeated it so casually, as if it didn't phase him, Midas began fidgeting with the golden wedding band on his finger. Midas was looking at it; most people get uncomfortable if I bring her up like that. They tend to think it's too much that I still wear this. Shade put his hand on Midas', "I saw that wedding band when we first met. It had surprised me... I did my research on you before coming here; I knew you had a daughter and that your wife had passed to illness. When I first saw it, I thought you'd remarried or something- I quickly learned that wasn't the case. Before I met you, I assumed you would be a certain kind of man, the kind I usually meet... Those men, they don't care for their wives and daughters and rarely even their sons. Now that I know you a little more though, I'm not surprised you still carry her... You clearly cared for her deeply." Shade turned onto his back, "It's not the same thing; but, my first love passed too." Shade smiled sadly under his converter. "I still carry him as well, always will."

Midas stared at him; he understands... "How long were you with him and when?" He asked.

"A year and a half; I was sixteen and him seventeen when we met. Like I said, it's not quite the same thing- We were young and certainly not married or anything... But losing someone to death is so different than any other way of parting."

"I was with Anna for a little over three years, we were eighteen when we met," Midas shared. "Just because we had rings and a child and you didn't, doesn't make your love less significant. I'm sure he must have been a special person to have grabbed your heart."

Shade placed his hand over his heart for a minute. When he spoke again, Midas could hear the tears in his voice, "Thank you. He helped shape me... Even if we were so young and not together for long, a part of me will always love him."

Midas suddenly felt a twang of pain in his heart; he smiled sadly. Midas thought again about how much he cared for Shade. "What do you think this is? What we have, I mean- I've been trying to figure it out. I realized I should ask you too though."

"I don't know... I thought you didn't want it to be anything other than what you have with the others?"

"I don't think that's true... I was lying to myself. I don't get jealous when the others dance with other men. I don't think about them constantly, the way I do you. I don't talk to them like this either... Whatever this is, it's not what I have with them." Midas looked at Shade, "So what do you want it to be?"

"I don't think we have to figure that out tonight, right? I'm getting a bit tired and I had so much to drink. I'm sort of glad I did though, it made it easier to talk to you openly... I think I will see that therapist, if me seeing her makes you more comfortable seeing me."

Midas took his hand, "I'm glad to hear you say that. I would feel much better about this if you do." Midas was struck with an idea, "Are you still feeling nauseous or dizzy?"

"No; I'm alright."

"I have just one quick thing I'd like to do with you tonight..." Midas stood up, going into Shade's lab.

"What are you doing?" Shade called, very confused.

Midas emerged with the speaker Shade used to listen to music while he worked. "Do you still want to dance with me?"

"Yes!"

Midas smiled at how excited Shade sounded; he does love dancing. Midas put the speaker on the nightstand and pulled out his phone. He selected a love song of medium speed, plugging his phone in and starting it. "Okay if I lead?" He asked, holding out his left hand while putting his right one behind his back.

"Sure," Shade took his hand.

"Keep your hands at my shoulders or waist, careful of my right hand." Midas pulled Shade close, his hand resting on Shade's back. Shade placed his right hand on Midas' shoulder and left at his waist. Midas was surprised all over again by how much shorter Shade was. Shade rested his head on Midas' chest as they spun. For a moment, Midas put his face on Shade's head. Shade's hair was soft against his skin and he could smell his shampoo again, mixed with a little sweat from all the dancing Shade did that day.

"Did you just sniff me?" Shade giggled.

Midas blushed, "It's- Your shampoo smells nice... I can't identify it though."

"It's roses and wood."

They danced silently through the rest of the song, Midas dipping Shade at the end. "Thank you for the dance," Midas smiled. "How are you feeling? You safe to sleep it off now?"

"I am; I'm going to feel it in the morning but I will be fine."

Midas kissed him on the head, "Then I'll let you get some sleep now, goodnight."

"Goodnight."