Detectives like me spend a lot of time flapping their gums. We're always asking questions, wheedling statements out of cagey shysters or sometimes just plain covering our own tracks. It's part of the calling and if you don't have it then you're better off being a Pinkerton than a gumshoe. They get badges and guns too, but all they gotta do most days is break up a picket line or crack a few skulls. Easy work if you can get it.
Then you got guys like me. Not to blow my own horn or nuthin, but I'm an exceptionally good fibber. The secret you see is to just barely lie at all, in fact the best lies are ones that you don't even tell. I had already decided on the bait I was casting out for Little Red and the game, as they say, was afoot.
"Hey doll, I'm going to be on the level with ya here but I ain't got no idea who the heck you are."
The words hung in the air for a second and there was an uncomfortable pause accompanied by a chill up my spine like someone had just walked over my grave. I took note and filed it away for later.
"Eeh??? Are you stupid?" she sneered at me.
The disgust in her voice was palpable and it was cut with an undercurrent of "Hey pal, I'm sick of your shit". I could only shake my head. Ryouji old buddy, I don't know what kind of life you've been living, but you need better acquaintances.
"Look toots, I'm being square with ya. Since you walked through that door I've been wondering what the hell's been going on!"
Again with the pausing and the chill. It was noticeably less, but still there. Maybe it was Ryouji's ghost haunting me or just my own conscience. I added a note to the file.
Little Red twisted her lip and then darted her head around me to look at the room. She seemed to calculate something in her head and then with purpose marched over to the giant bookshelf and started poking and prodding the junk there. I sat down on the bed and watched her for a minute.
"Where is it?" she asked.
"Where's what?" I replied. Ryouji's ghost was silent. Interesting.
Little Red was kneeling down inspecting a lower shelf and she turned her head back to face me, flipping one of her long red locks over her shoulder. It was pretty.
"The camera! Or whatever stupid thing you set up for this prank!"
Ryouji old buddy, I don't know what kind of life you've been living, but maybe you were kind of a jackass.
"You better not be live streaming this..."
I had no idea what a "live streaming" was, but I could follow the gist of her jargon. She thought I was giving her the put on and recording it somehow as a prank. Well, she was half right. I put my head in my hands for dramatic emphasis and cast out the bait again.
"I wish this was just some phonus balonus doll face, but I ain't got no recollection of you or nuthin." The ghost tickled my toes and I was starting to get an idea. Another note was added.
Little Red narrowed her eyes at me and stood up, smoothing out her skirt. Damn those gams were great and the way those socks stopped right below her hemline. Howzah. I took a long peek between my fingers.
"Why should I believe you?"
I looked up at her with all the sincerity of an altar boy taking alms.
"Why would I lie about this?"
She put her finger to her lips and then thought for a moment before speaking. She was pacing back and forth as she did so.
"Let's see... when we were 5 years old you traded me an expired pudding for my lunch, I got sick and threw up in P.E. class. When we were 7 you gave me a glass of tea that was actually piss. When we were 11 you said that if I donated my panties at the shrine, my lost dog would come home. That very same year you gave me a chocolate bar that was actually laxatives..."
She stopped talking there, her face going a frightening shade of red. I can already guess what happened. She started pacing again and continued.
"When we were 13 you hacked my laptop to broadcast to the internet... AND YOU PUT MY ADDRESS UNDER IT!"
At this point here arms were down by her side, fists clenched in white knuckled rage. What did I say earlier about this being an exceedingly non-dangerous situation? I was reevaluating my evaluation, to sort of speak.
"Last week! I fell asleep in class and you snuck up behind me and undid my bra!"
At this point Little Red was, how should I put it, really red. She marched over to me, jabbing her finger into my chest and pushing me backwards.
"And just two days ago when you forced me to take you to the movies, you tore a hole in the bottom of the popcorn bag and tried to make me fondle your... AAAAAAARGH!!!! I HATE YOU! YOU IDIOT!"
Ryouji old buddy, I don't know what kind of life you've been living, but I seriously hope you're in hell right now.
Well, at least I could tell who the wolf was in Little Red's fairy tale. Honestly, I felt bad for the kid - sounds like she's had a tough time. Still, it made me question why she was still hanging around with this goon after all that abuse. I let her fume for a little bit before starting to reel her in.
"I'm sure that's the gospel truth sister, but that still doesn't change the facts and the facts are I ain't got no idea of who you are or why you're here, or hell anything for that matter. If you don't believe me then that's fine, you can go." Nothing. No, maybe something. Too faint to tell. A suspicion was added to the file.
To her credit, Little Red didn't immediately bite the head off of this wolf. Instead, she huffed and she puffed and then stood up straight and glared at me again, but this time with faint curiosity.
"What's your name?"
"...Ryouji Hishigata."
"Ha!" she exclaimed, pointing a finger at me. "How did you know that?!"
I blinked at her for dramatic effect and then casually retrieved my billfold and the student id that I had found earlier, holding it up in her face.
"Unfortunately this ugly mug is mine." I said, my actual disappointment carrying through in my voice.
It was method acting and it seemed to work as something I said finally got her to lower her guard for a minute. She went over to the doorway and retrieved her bag, pulling out another one of those strange glass and plastic squares - this one pink. She jabbed it for a second and then held it up to her ear.
"Whatcha doing toots?" I asked. I was willing to bet I could guess what those squares were now even if I didn't know how to use 'em.
"Calling a doctor." she replied with a smug look on her face and then turned away.
"That's probably a good idea, my brain ain't hitting on all eights right now." There it was, that tingle again. Really faint though.
Now that got her attention. Little Red spun around, dropping her arms to her side, her mouth loose like a fish.
"This is... this is..." she muttered.
This is what? Unbelievable? Crazy? Don't leave me hanging sister.
"This is... AMAZING! YAHOO!" she screamed with joy, practically jumping into the air. I tried not to stare too much at her physics demonstration.
"I'm free! I'm free! Hahahahahaha!"
Okay, so not the reaction I was expecting, but at least it seemed like she believed me. That was part of the strategy here for the lie - to tell the truth, or at least part of it. I certainly didn't remember her, or in fact anything at all about Ryouji 's life. Boy it would be convenient if I did, but I guess reincarnation or rebirth of whatever the heck this was didn't work that way. Anyway, it would be a hell of a lot easier to convince people of something that was true - basically I had "amnesia", than it would be to get them to believe I was a fella from the early 20th century. I could work with this.
"So... mind giving me your name doll?" I asked in an attempt to establish a new line of communication.
Little Red just ignored my offered olive branch and made a b-line to the shelf. Things were being opened. Things were being thrown. And all the while I could hear her muttering to herself in a manic pitch...
"It's got to be here somewhere... where did he put it? Did he make copies? What if he made copies!? The computer! But wait... what's the password? Maybe I can..."
I cleared my throat with a loud stage cough and stood up.
"Is there something you're looking for?" I asked politely as I knelt down next to her.
I must have been too close or something because Red froze up like an iceberg, "What? No! I mean Yes!" she barked.
What a strange dame this kid was. I had an inkling of what had been going on, at least it would explain a few things. I wonder if she'd give up the goods and confess.
"Relax toots, I don't know you from Eve but if you need to find something in this room then you're welcome to look. I'll even help you. Just tell me what's going on... and maybe tell me your name?"
I gave her my best smile. In retrospect I probably shouldn't have done that since I was wearing Ryouji's ugly mug. I probably scared the girl half to death.
*
Turns out Little Red had a name - Yukino Tachibana. Sounded suspiciously Japonais, but the girl in front of me was red haired, blue eyes and built like sin. A real fine piece of calico if you ask me. Definitely not the image I would have had in my head given her name. About ten minutes into our conversation she picked up her telephone and placed a call into the school saying she was taking me to the hospital. Yes, I finally confirmed that suspicion although I couldn't figure out how it worked without wires. Yukino for her part didn't know either. She kept mumbling words like "10G" and "Wi-Fi" which she couldn't really explain.
She also managed to clear up a few of my other suspicions. Namely, her and Ryouji have known each other for most of their lives and that this association was apparently not by mutual consent. She didn't outright say it, but Ryouji had something on her and it must have been something nasty considering how it kept her under his oafish heel. And let me tell you, this guy was a real piece of work. At first Yukino was hesitant to tell me any details, but the longer we talked the more she seemed to open up to me. I guess she accepted the fact that I didn't remember diddly, but even then, didn't this dame forgive this guy a little too easily? Was she some kind of simp or moron, or did she...
"We really need to call your father"
I raised my eyebrow. Looking around the joint it was definitely a single person residence.
"I got an old man?" this was news to me.
Yukino nodded her head and reached for her phone again. I was peeking over her shoulder at it trying to figure out what she was doing, but text on the little screen flashed by too fast for me to make head nor tails of it. She jabbed the little device a few more times with her finger for good measure and then held it up to her head and waited.
"Um... hello... this is Tachibana. Y-y-yes! Sorry to bother you! No, wait! It's about Ryouji!"
An unintelligible blast of sound erupted from the plastic device.
"Okay... yes, I understand but maybe you could...."
That's as far as Red got before she put the phone down in her lap.
"Good news huh?" I asked sarcastically.
Red looked like she was going to cry. She idly twisted the hem of her skirt and then looked off into the distance.
"I'm supposed to take care of it."
I swear I could see her eyes starting to glisten. Looks like poor Yukino might be on the hook to Ryouji's pops as well. I wonder if this is a situation where the apple doesn't fall far from the tree? Poor Red, you've had a hard life haven't you?
I plastered a fake smile on my face that probably looked at least 3/5th like sadistic pervert due to Ryouji's parentage and clapped my hands.
"Well, now you're on the trolley sister. Let's get to it."
