December 1975, Great Britain.

In the village of Cokeworth, there was a very dreary and shabby little house at the end of Spinner's End Street, this house was situated in a very depressing and unpleasant place for the vast majority of people.


In this place where the houses are made of brick, old wood, and mostly deserted with broken lampposts and dirty grey windows where they are barely distinguishable in the dark is where Severus Snape lived his childhood and his current adolescence, near this place there is also a big dirty river and an abandoned mill with a tall chimney.


In this house, Severus Snape was currently inside a small living room, where the walls were completely covered with books, mostly bound in black leather or old brown; a tattered couch, an old couch, and a rickety table were grouped in a pool of dim light cast by a candle-filled lamp hanging from the ceiling.


The place had an air of neglect as if it were not usually inhabited.


In front of a Cauldron stood a young Severus Snape:


"Damn it, why, why Lily?!"


"If only James Potter didn't exist, how good the magical world would be without such an arrogant, useless, worthless, worthless, despicable person with so much adulation."


"Just a bunch of idiots, only sucking up to him because he's good at Quidditch," said an irritated, sad, and angry sixteen-year-old Severus.


But if there was one thing Severus hated and despised James Potter for, it wasn't his exaggerated fan base or his excellent Quidditch and social skills.


No, Severus hated him for making his life a living hell at Hogwarts, along with his small entourage of friends who constantly attacked him with spells and all manner of pranks the moment he slacked off.


Severus Snape despised him for the fact that they never stood up to him fairly, it was always two or three that went against him, and worse was that he knew it was all partly to keep him away from Lily.

The funny thing is that Potter ended up succeeding in the end, leaving him in an endless emptiness and hatred, he lost everything he cared about, and he had nothing left.


Now Snape was alone in the dark, surrounded by pure darkness, he saw almost no hope of finding a way, he was alone and aimless, he needed Lily.


Severus had returned home from Hogwarts to spend the Christmas holidays alone.


He was lonely due to the recent loss of his parents in the last summer holidays and his recent separation from his best friend, Lily Evans.


Severus Snape had received an invitation from the Malfoy's to their annual winter ball and although he didn't like crowded gatherings, he had been personally invited to attend for the first time something so important as far as the inner circle of pureblood wizards was concerned.


It was quite a compliment to him and he was obviously very excited to go to this ball even though he didn't like social gatherings or balls in general.


Severus always felt a deep respect and appreciation for his friend Lucius Malfoy, so he was quite proud when he received the personal invitation engraved in gold letters stamped with the characteristic seal of House Malfoy.


Severus was glad that he was finally being considered for the first time for something so important as far as the inner circle of purebloods was concerned.


It was even the first time he had ever been invited to a meeting in his entire life, not counting the Slughorn club that Severus despised.


Severus was too much of a loner and only met with his friend Lily Evans to chat and play games or with some of his housemates who used to hang out with him because of his extraordinary skills in the dark arts or some others who used to ask him for help in different subjects.


Some talked to him out of convenience, as he was known to produce, deliver and sell potions to his housemates.


But thanks to Malfoy that invitation changed everything, it was different, he had been personally invited to an important pureblood event.


It was a great compliment to Severus as it meant that the inner circle of purebloods were recognising his abilities.


Unfortunately, however, he was unable to accept his friend Lucius Malfoy's invitation at the time.


Severus knew that if he did it was pretty sure to say that he was one step away from being part of the death eaters and Lily would never forgive him.


As much as he wanted to go, he sadly couldn't, because he knew that if he went, he would lose any chance of Lily forgiving him.


And now that she had stopped talking to him for calling her a "mudblood" in a moment of anger, he knew that at this point he couldn't make any more mistakes if he wanted her forgiveness.


And now that she had stopped talking to him for calling her a mudblood in a moment of anger, he knew that at this point he couldn't make any more mistakes if he wanted her forgiveness.


So he sadly declined the invitation with some made-up excuses, this was because he couldn't mention the fact that he wasn't going for Lily.


If he did that, he would lose all support from the Malfoy's as well as any other Noble House in the inner circle of purebloods.


Severus wanted to accept the invitation that his good friend Lucius Malfoy had surely extended to him as a token of his appreciation for his great achievements in potions and the dark arts, but he could not accept their kindness at the moment.


Lily was very much against death eaters and blood purists, all because of those damn Gryffindors who filled her head with lies.

This ball was made up of a large majority of death eaters and blood purists, so it was obvious that Lily would hate him if he joined.


As much as Severus wanted to be part of the death eaters and follow a wizard as powerful as Lord Voldemort, he couldn't risk losing Lily, he would wait until he could convince Lily that it was in her best interest to join him in Voldemort's cause.


It would not be easy, but given time, he believed he could make her understand that Lord Voldemort was the best option for the magical world and society.


If Lord Voldemort assumed control, Severus was convinced that everything he had to go through with his abusive Muggle father would never happen to any other wizard, no bloody Muggle could ever mistreat a wizard again.


He was convinced that Lord Voldemort would never let that happen again and that was why he wanted to be by his side at that moment.


But he had to be patient for now, first, he had to get Lily to forgive him and get them to talk like before, something he hadn't been able to do so far, she seemed really angry and disappointed with him, and he could swear on his magic that he hadn't meant to call her that.


He was alone in front of a lot of people, embarrassed, frustrated, angry, irritated, and sad, and all his emotions were killing him, so he ended up talking and insulting her without thinking when he saw something he didn't like in her conversation with James Potter.


It was a simple smile, but he felt so much anger at that moment that something in him snapped and he said an insult to her without thinking.


But none of that mattered now, it only mattered that Lily had broken up with him.


She didn't want to forgive him and therefore didn't want to talk to him either.


He would not give up, he would seek her forgiveness one way or another.


When Severus returned to Hogwarts from his Christmas break to finish his fifth year, even though he had recently lost his friendship with Lily, he had hoped that she would forgive him.

But with each passing day she grew colder to him, she didn't even bother to look at him now.


It really hurt him to see that nothing he did seemed to work at all, but he stood firm and kept trying.


Friday, June 16th of their fifth school year was the End of Term Party in the Great Hall.


The winning house of the House Cup had already been announced and they had also given out various prizes to the most outstanding students or those who had shown something unique.


Among them were Severus Snape, Lily Evans, and James Potter.


Severus decided to make one last attempt to receive Lily's forgiveness before returning home for the summer holidays, he needed to make things right with her.


He headed to where he had seen Lily and her friends chatting happily about the end of term.


When he finally saw her, he was predisposed to talk to her, but before he got to her he saw James bloody Potter and his group of bullies approaching her and her friends.


Severus grumbled and looked for a hidden corner to wait for them to leave, he just listened to the conversation waiting for Potter and his friends to leave so he could talk quietly to Lily and seek her forgiveness again.


A few minutes of very dull conversation passed, in which it seemed that James Potter's only goal was to convince Lily Evans to go on a date with him, much to Severus' chagrin.


He finally heard something that he hoped was either a lie or a bad dream he was having.


Severus Snape was sure that Lily couldn't stand Potter, although he occasionally saw her get too involved in his flirtations, but she always took a far out distance from him and dismissed him with indifference, after all, she always told him that she found him insufferable, obnoxious and a bully.


But today seemed to be different...
"You're all invited to my house this summer holiday!" said Potter briskly as he looked around the group and focused on Lily, analysing the progress of his proposal.


"Come on Evans, it'll be fun!" added Potter.


"I'm not interested Potter, I'm still mad at your silly, tasteless jokes" replied Lily, tossing her dark red hair over her shoulder causing it to cascade down her back like an elegant curtain.


"Besides, I have plans with Alice this summer and since the rest of us girls couldn't get together we decided to go out together," Lily added.


"Oh, no, no, Lily!" said Alice quickly.


"I had plans with Frank, you know...so...well...you know, you could just... well... you know, you could go Lily, I would be fine with that" added Alice blushing at the mention of plans with her boyfriend.


Severus cursed Alice for that, she was only complicating things.


"So, Evans, one more time wouldn't hurt, it's not like you haven't already gone to Potter's," Sirius commented sounding like he was teasing her.


Severus already knew that she and her friends had hung out at Potter's once or twice, but this time none of Lily's friends were able to go and this worried him.


Lily alone with Potter and his bullies was not a good thing.


"Right, and you actually expect me to go with you to Potter's?" asked Lily rolling her eyes at the absurdity of that proposition.


"Come on Evans, we'll have a good time!" pressed James Potter.


"Ha, nice try Potter, but no," scoffed Lily.


Out of the corner of his eye, Severus saw James give Sirius a knowing look.
"Come on Evans, a simple meal and nothing more, that's all poor James asks of you, plus we promise no pranks for two months if you agree"


"Oh come on Sirius, as if that's possible" Lily scoffed and rolled her eyes, but Severus couldn't help but catch her cheeks flushing a little at that comment.


The slightly sheepish and embarrassed way she looked at James Potter made Severus' throat tighten.


He had to remind himself that they were no longer friends and that Lily said she would never forgive him, but he still wanted to jump up and curse them all.


Lily had always told him that she thought James Potter was rude and arrogant, and she would never lie to him about something like that.


The group continued to talk, and he continued to eavesdrop, knowing that anything he wanted to have an opinion on would not be welcome, it was sad but he knew Lily wouldn't forgive him for long.


Even though Severus was sure Lily wouldn't date the Potter bully, every beat of her joking around with him still tightened the knots in his stomach.


He knew that to an outsider, someone who didn't know Lily as well as he did, their interactions could be misconstrued as light flirting.


But she had to know that she deserved better than Potter.


"Alright Potter, I agreed to just one dinner, but that's four months without pranks," Lily finally said and those were the words that broke Severus Snape that day.


He couldn't believe he was hearing that from his beloved Lily's mouth, his biggest fears of the day were confirmed.


"Yes, yes, and a thousand times yes!" exclaimed James victoriously, with a sidelong glance at Lily.


"One dinner at my house it is!" added Potter happily.


"Deal!, but only one dinner Potter, nothing more and don't try to back out of your part," said Lily a little amused by James Potter's reaction.


That was the last punch Severus Snape could get in his life because after that he felt that nothing was worth it.


He was in darkness, his whole world collapsed and all hope was lost, there was nothing left, he was hurt like never before, he would never hate Lily, he just couldn't hate her no matter how much he wanted to, but it hurt, that was for sure.


Severus felt the world and life against him, the people he hated the most, who humiliated him the most, who stripped him of everything he felt important, were the same people who were now not only friends with his beloved Lily, but they now also managed to make his nightmares come true.


'James bloody Potter!' Severus thought furiously.


Potter was the one who had stolen everything from him, now he would have dinner with Lily at his house too, his childhood friend, the most important person in his life and the one Severus had sworn to protect all his life, she would have a bloody date with that bastard James Potter.


So many women James Potter could choose from, so many admirers he had, so...


'Why?!'


'Why did Lily have to be the one he wanted to date?!'


'And why was Lily acting so strange in front of someone she supposedly couldn't tolerate!' grumbled and inwardly questioned Severus.


Severus Snape was bleeding inside, he felt like everything inside him was slowly dying.


He quickly came out of the corner where he was hiding to listen to the group, he wanted to avoid hurting himself further by listening to the conversation they were having.


But the damage was already done, no matter how much he denied it, Severus Snape knew that everything he heard was real and it was because of that very thought that he lost himself.


Once Severus Snape returned home to Hogwarts on the 17th of June for the summer holidays, what he saw on the way home made him feel like the most unfortunate person in the world, that was the last straw for Severus.


Seeing it left him completely heartbroken, he lost all hope and it was then that the darkness consumed him completely.


Once the darkness consumed Severus Snape, he became convinced that power was everything, that power would give him everything he desired, and that power would bring him out of his regrets.


Using his remaining rationality, Severus decided not to go home and rent a room at the Leaky Cauldron.