The clock is ticking.
Darkness fills the room.
All my senses focus on this moment in time.
The perfect moment.
I load up the gun. My hands feel its weight.
No hesitation.
I need to do this.
For twenty-three years, I have suffered. No more.
Finally, I will feel relief…
I point the gun at my dick.
“DIE!”
*CLICK*
*BANG! *
…
..
.
And then it all goes black.
My eyes open, and I see a white ceiling. I try to move my neck, and I feel the resistance that holds it in place. I can’t move much. Down below me, standing up in its full glory, taunting me, belittling me. This cursed spear from hell.
The blanket covering me cannot hide its form. Why is it still there? After a dozen experiments, all of them failures. I should have learned…
The sound of a door opening interrupting my thoughts. Someone is walking toward me. A familiar face shows up in front of me with a big smile. “Glad you’re okay, bud.” It’s my friend Dewey who grew up with me. He knows about my unique condition.
“Yeah, it’s good. I guess we always learn new things.”
He opens his eyes wide and pats my shoulder. That action hurt my neck.
“Atlas, I’ll be honest, bro. You are an inspiration.”
“What? Why?”
“Anyone else with your condition, the gun will point at the head. Nah, but not you, man!”
“It’s not that bad….”
“Man, if it was me… I’ll be in the coffin already. I will already be under the ground or burning ashes in an urn.”
I notice a sound. Looks like he sat down.
“But not you. You are strong and stubborn like a rock!”
“Thanks?”
“You keep on going despite all the obstacles in your life. Like you don’t know any better? I mean, when you a dwarf. You give up on hooping. Right?”
“Uh.”
“Nah. But not you! You are like a lion!”
“I appreciate it.”
“That gave up meat! A different breed! Takes a different kinda mindset! Like borderline stupid, a modern-day tragedy.”
“These compliments kind of sound weird.”
“You have a talent, bro! Something special, a curse!”
“Now you’re actually cursing me.”
“Like a mermaid dreaming of land and giving up anything for legs! But then she can’t even breathe on land, you know? Plus, the legs hurt.”
“Okay, now you’re hitting too close to home.”
“I cannot imagine myself at that stage of a boner being stuck forever, always on the edge. Never able to get relief. Since birth too!”
“That is my actual situation. Yes.” Oh wow, the blanket is blue.
“Like a volcano! Burning itself from the inside. Because it cannot erupt, bro! Lava spreads through the body. Burning the insides like a hellfire whose thirst never ends, man!”
“The metaphors are making it worse.”
“Can’t even jack off. BRO!”
He looks like the world has ended. His face turns dark. Tears fall from his eyes. Is it that bad?
“Like it would be better if you can do drugs that relieve your pain. But it got worse! The addicts are better off than you.”
“I remember you were the one who gave me those.”
“That’s not the point, man! I mean, I was thinking you were a porn protagonist or something, with your size. But NO! Women who try. Blast off like a ball away from your cannon!”
“That’s a pretty messed up description.”
“What’s the point of being big? When you cannot even use it?”
“Okay, that kinda hurts.”
“Those above must have been like. ‘Yo let’s set this guy’s life on Extra, Extra, Extra Hard’ you know? That’s 3 Xs!”
“Let’s stop alright.”
There was a bit of silence.
…
..
.
“Bro, even now you are so calm! Like I would have choked myself! You know!”
Please save me.
I hear the door open once again. The sound of footsteps as they get close gives me joy. A rough hand hit my face. It moves my head to the side with force. *Crack* I think my neck broke.
“You idiot! Using a gun to injure yourself!”
He’s an old man, but his body is fit. That slap hurt, but his voice sounds pleasant right now. I listen to gramps voice. It cheers me up a little. There’s a bright side to everything. Even if Dewey was annoying, he still gave me a boost. I need to give them my thanks and appreciation when I recover.
“Can’t even aim right!”
Now even my heart hurts.
“Don’t say that, gramps! Even the dumbest toughest rocks can break! Well. This guy is putting even the toughest minerals to shame, though.”
When I get out of here. I’ll show both guys my aim.
“Boss, are you well now? Can you speak?” another person speaks.
A gentle hand places my head in its proper position. I’m getting better already. Good thing that slap broke nothing. Looks like my aim demonstration will proceed with no hiccups.
“Grandpa! How could you hit a patient?”
“Yeah! Don’t you see how fragile he looks, gramps? Like a rock with cracks.”
Dewey is just going with the flow…
“I’m sorry. I was just overwhelmed with emotions.”
Gramps was always a bit of a pushover when dealing with Lucine. All this noise is giving me a headache.
“Can you take them for a while? I’m tired.”
She takes my arm and brings it close to her ample chest. Her light brown hair brushes over my face. Her brown eyes fill with tears.
“Okay boss. Tell me next time, okay? We need safety tools for those kinds of activities. Please.”
She thinks I’ll do it again…
Gramps gives me a look that screams, ‘Don’t you dare do that!’
Dewey looked like he was contemplating and then shook his head. He then gives me a smile with some sad eyes. That stupid face of his makes me want to punch him in the face.
“Don’t be too sad. I won’t do something stupid like this again.”
“Alright, you’re the boss.”
They leave the room. They wave me goodbye. I half expected Lucine to stay. She must be angry at me.
It’s so dumb. My spear points at the heavens. It’s up the whole time. Unleashed in its full glory.
I grew up thinking it was normal. When my pants and underwear didn’t fit anymore, I realized the problem. I was lucky. Dewey has a unique ability. He makes peculiar objects like my underwear that hide and shrink my spear. It makes me feel normal. Though there are only two of them. I am thankful for that.
I take a glance at the room. My eyes search the whole place. When my glance reaches my spear. I hear someone speaking.
“Umm… Mr. Renido, you need to take your medicine.”
…
I look so stupid.
Interesting start.