Chapter 10. The Monster (V)
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"Ah!!!" she screamed in pain as she grasped her heart, pulling her shirt tightly as she fell to her knees. The sharp physical pain was clearly visible on her face.

"What... is... this feeling?!" she asked in a panic as she struggled to speak and even open her eyes. "It's.. so... heavy...!" she cried out loud, dizzy and in pain.

In attempt to control herself from the dazzling feeling, she tried to concentrate on it with her eyes closed.

"I... don't know what this feeling is..." she struggled against it with great difficulty. "But...! It makes me want to die of sadness...!" she exclaimed while forcefully gritting her delicate teeth.

The surrounding feeling was so strong that she could feel it clearly, almost as if she could see it despite her closed eyes. When she opened them, she recognized that it was spread everywhere around her.

She got up from the floor and moved through the streets to a more main street. The powerful feeling wrapped her everywhere she went.

Looking at the busy street, she could also feel that other people around her were within the range of this feeling.

They walk in it.

Act in it.

Even laughing happily inside of it. But it doesn't seem that any of them pay attention to it.

"Everyone continues as usual... what's with them?!" she asked herself in shock.

"How can they act like everything is normal?! Doesn't it hurt them?! How?!" she wondered in confusion and amazement, as she struggled to even stand up and open her eyes against its pressure.

From around her, she watched the passers-by drowning inside the feeling without disturbance. They were all so natural, that a question raised in her mind.

"Could it be...could it be that they not feeling it?!" she marveled surprised. Until she watched them, the feeling was so strong that she didn't even think she was the only one who could feel it.

She closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on the feeling with even more precision. The more she concentrated on the sensation, the more she felt like crying.

Abyssal loneliness.

Existential sadness.

Despair.

Frustration.

Anxiety.

Fear.

Shame.

It contained so many emotions inside of it that it was difficult for her to describe it in words.

The feeling was so strong that she felt like she couldn't concentrate on anything else but it.

When suddenly another flash of purple light caused her to writhe painfully to her knees as she forcefully wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Still in it...?!" she asked in frustration.

She got up from her knees and started walking around the city. Although her resistance, tears still continuously flowed from her eyes. To not catch the attention of those around her, as she tried to hide them as she looked at the ground walking forward.

A thump was heard as Lin bumped into a man who was walking in front of her.

"Sorry!" Lin called absentmindedly with her gaze to the floor, getting up with the intention to continue walking in the direction she was heading.

"Are you ok?" The man asked Lin, as he remained standing in front of her.

Lin opened her eyes in astonishment as she realized that she recognized the voice.

She looked up and saw Dot in front of her.

"Wait...!" he requested with a raise of his hand as he struggled to speak. "I know what you're going through… because I went through the exact same thing when I was a kid... I didn't mean for this to happen to you... I didn't think you'd react that way.... I just wanted that for you to know what he really is...".

With her tears visible in her eyes, she stood in front of him without a response. After a brief swollen eyes exchange, she intended to move on.

"Wait! Wait a second!" he called out desperately, but she kept on walking forward.

"You asked why I hate him so much!" he shouted.

Lin stopped in her tracks.

She turned and glared at him with a serious look. "Why am I always against him." he added.

"It is hard to believe, but, when I was a child, I was a coward." he said awkwardly. "I caused problems for my family because of that. So, as a small and timid child, I would always hang out with my father and brother. With them, I would feel protected.

I admired them.

My brother would always say, "You have to face your fears, and fight against them bravely".

The same sentence my father taught us like a repeating melody.

When I was around them, I felt safe. I could talk and laugh freely. Be carefree. I felt that everything would be fine. That they can do anything. And with them, so do I. But I wasn't prepared to what was ahead to come. It all changed in a moment. In an instant. That day…” he said looking deeply into Lin's eyes.

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