I looked down, below the table and in the general direction of my shoes, but not really looking at anything in particular. “I don’t know what’s coming,” I said. “And it’s scary. I’ve seen my fair share of difficult things, but there was always something to look forward to. I feel like I’m standing on the edge of a cliff, and I don’t know whether there’s water or bedrock below me. What if?”

“What if what?” Colin said.

“If he’s not there, obviously,” I said.

“You’ll figure it out,” he said. “Trust me.”

“Why should I?” I said.

“Because I’m older than you, and I’ve seen quite a bit more than you have. Humans are incredibly resilient, even though we don’t want to tell ourselves that. And I’ve also met you. When I first saw you, you were in an induced coma, having gone seconds from death on the table. And here you are, discussing how to go on in your life,” he said. “You’re a fighter if I’ve ever seen one. I’m sure someone’s told you that already.”

I remembered my father. I remembered what he said about his aims and goals in life. How he considered mum and myself as his ultimate accomplishments. How simple he’d made his life, and revelled in it. “Yes, they have. Thank you.”

“Anytime, Jordan,” he said. “Your coffee is cooling down.”

“Oh, right,” I said. “Thank you.”

“No problem. I’ll let you marinate on this and go help my wife make food,” he said. “If that’s alright, of course.”

“It’s your house,” I said, and he didn’t require words to leave me with my thoughts.

I’d already had too much time thinking about the implications of Sunday, and didn’t need more to myself, but it was his house. His rules. He’d placed a seed of conflicting thought in my head, and it was growing by the moment, tugging at me, making me suffer. Aaron really might have not been real, and if he wasn’t, I would have to face the consequences.

There was no turning back now. No more hospital records, no more anaesthetic uses, no more operations. A specific location and a specific time. I knew exactly where I had to be, and it would be the moment of truth. It couldn’t be simpler even if I tried.

And yet, so much hinged on it. Everything I’d been through since I’d felt him, everything I’d felt, all the time I’d spent. There was high chance it would all prove to be fruitful, but it was nowhere near certain. He could’ve just been my construct. Or dead. Or he could’ve forgotten about me, which was truly the worst possible outcome.

Still, he’d told me what was necessary in very simple words. If he wasn’t there on Sunday evening, I was never going to find him. At least I’d have some form of closure after that. I stared at my coffee, sipping it mindlessly, mulling over the possibilities, trying to figure out every single one and thinking what could go wrong.

“I’m not ready for this, am I?” I said out loud, trying to talk to the two in the kitchen.

“What for?” Colin shouted back.

“Answers,” I said.

“Well, maybe you’re not, but what are you going to do? Run away from the problem until you feel completely ready?” he said. “Food’s ready, by the way.”

I brought my finished mug over to the kitchen, feeling the draw of a hot, fatty smell. After being instructed what to do with the mug, I looked around the corner and to the table, seeing fried eggs and bacon steaming on it.

“Thank you so much,” I said. “I needed this.”

“You’re welcome,” Laura said. “I’m sorry that I was rude, by the way.”

“No, it’s alright. Maybe you’ll learn to accept the accent one day,” I said.

“With someone as likeable as you are, it would be difficult not to,” she said. “Here you go. Enjoy the food.”

She put some on a plate for me, and seeing it given to me, just like that, as if I was their own daughter, almost sent me on another tangent. The draw of basic instinct was too strong, though, and my thoughts gladly shut up when given tasty food.

“This is excellent,” I said, doing my best not to groan in satisfaction with a full mouth. “How do you make something so simple this good?”

“Years of love and practice,” Colin said. “Just like everything else.”

“I’m too hungry to think on the meaning of that right now,” I said.

“That’s what the food’s here for,” Colin said.

We finished lunch in relative silence, mostly engaging in meaningless small talk, despite Colin’s best efforts to steer the conversation towards my case. I suppose the hospital couldn’t be taken out of the man no matter what was done to him.

Having finished, I helped them clean up despite their insistence I shouldn’t have, and headed for the door. “Before you go, I want to tell you something,” Colin said.

“Go on,” I said.

“This has been a wonderful thing, but I’m still not your father. Take care of your parents. They love you more than anyone else ever could,” he said. “I gathered your relationship with them isn’t as strong as it could be.”

“Train tickets are expensive,” I said.

“Don’t spare expenses for your parents. You need them as much as they need you,” he said. “Thank me later.”

“I’ll keep it in mind. Thank you for everything,” I said.

“You’re very welcome. Thank you for helping clean up,” Laura said, appearing from the kitchen to say her goodbyes.

“Don’t mention it. Goodbye,” I said.

“Goodbye, Jordan,” Colin said, and closed the door behind me.