I know I probably should put trigger warnings at the beginning of my chapters like a good "author " and I'm sorry I didn't in the last chapters but here's one now.
There's so much blood do you think he'll bleed to death?
Hopefully but if not there's always next time...
My brother was a saint taking on this piece of shit and his whore mother...
Kinnojo felt a kick land to his ribs. With his eyes shut tight he wrapped his arms around his body in an attempt to shield himself from the pain. His stomach twisted itself in knots as it tried to push what little he had inside onto the floor. With one last kick his tormentors left him in pain. The boys silent cries whispered to the empty room releasing themselves like untold secrets. Opening his eyes he saw the familiar red tint splashed across the floor like paint to a canvas. He took his trembling finger gliding it through the sticky substance. Slowly his finger wrote one word; the only word that would speak himself.
"Love" he wrote before falling into darkness.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kinnojo's eyes slowly opened as he woke from the nightmare. He released a quiet breath while dragging his trembling hands down his tired eyes. Dropping his hands down beside him once again. He turned his head, there beside him laid Misao. His tanned skin looked almost like caramel with a hint of chocolate. The light from the morning sun danced through the glass painting rainbow colors against the body's surface. Kinnojo turned his own body to face the other. Raising his finger he hesitatingly brought it towards Misao's face. The boy licked his dry lips focusing on the beautiful man before him. He drew his eyes towards the heart shaped mole under his left eye. Tracing the beauty mark his mind drifts to his constant nightmares. He whispers "love" while continuing his actions.
"I love you too" Misao says in a husky voice. His eyes pry themselves open and focuses on his kitten. Shifting his weight closer to the other he wraps his toned arms around him. Pulling him tight he laid his chin on the top of his head. "Had another nightmare?" He asks
Kinnojo laid in the others embrace letting the touch of his boyfriends skin warm his own. Pressing his lips to the bare skin, tingles spread through them like electric currents.
"After my father was killed my uncle and his wife took me in." He began in almost a whisper against the skin. "Although he was very reluctant I was still grateful." Wrapping his arms around the back of Misao he continued. "When I first arrived it was like I didn't exist to either of them. They lived their lives only giving me the bare minimum of what I needed. I didn't let this affect me as much because at least I had a place to lay my head."
Misao tightened his grip on the younger pulling him even closer.
"One day I was sitting at the makeshift desk I had in my small room. When my uncle came into my room. I could tell he had been drinking heavily. He started to yell at me how I was the pice of shit his brother lost his life over." Kinnojo's voice began to crack with every word he said. "In one quick second I found myself laying on the ground holding my jaw. He had punched me in the face so hard my body had crumbled. Tears filled my eyes as I looked at my uncle in disbelief"
Kinnojo's body started to shake causing Misao to try to comfort him.
"When I looked into his eyes I saw nothing. It was like he was gone. Then came the attack; his fist hitting every part of me. I cried as loud as I could asking him why and to please stop but all that got me was more pain. When he tired himself out he tossed a metal object at my body. Walking out he said end your worthless life now or this will happen again"
Misao had stayed silent the entire time. He wanted to give Kinnojo the time and attention he needed to open up to him. The man was furious as he listened to the heart wrenching story.
Raising his body out of Misao's grasp Kinnojo pulled back the covers revealing his body wearing one of his boyfriends T-shirts. He raised the hem of the shirt showing the soft skin on his thigh. He slowly traced the faded scares that littered his thighs.
"That was the day I started to cut. You see I didn't want to live but I was too scared to die." He said lowly. "I had become numb; I lost control over my life and I just desperately wanted to feel something. Even if it was pain, I was in control of it." He turned his gaze to the other. "I let go of all my friends because if I didn't they would see me for what I was, a waste of space." Laughing sadly he placed a smile on his lips. "It stayed like this for years with my uncle beating me as his wife sometimes watched. Until one day I saw you"
Misao's hazel eyes showed nothing but pure shock. "Me?..When did you see me?" He asked the now smiling boy.
"I had convinced my uncle that if I got I job I could contribute to the household. He agreed and I found the job at the book store. (Which by the way we need to talk about because every time I call asking about my shifts the owner tells me to take my time healing that there's no need to force myself into work). Kinnojo narrows his eyes at his mischievous boyfriend in front of him. "Anyway I saw you pass by one day and walk into the coffee shop next door. You were so beautiful I honestly think it was love at first sight" he said dramatically holding his hands to his heart.
"I went home that night knowing what I had to do. The next day I left for work with my bag and the savings I had managed to hide away. I begged my boss to let me stay in the upstairs loft until I found a place of my own. When I did I was so happy to wasn't much but it was mine. My uncle never came looking for me and for that I was grateful. I guess he thought I wasn't worth the time and effort."
Sitting up Misao leaned against the headboard. His eyes never leaving his kitten as he watched him tell his story.
Kinnojo got to his knees crawling over straddling his boyfriends lap. "Although you didn't know me you gave me courage. You gave me the silent strength to take control of my life. This time without harming myself in the process. I recognized I needed help so I went to see a Psychologist and that's where I met Hito"
"I knew he seemed too damn friendly when he asked about you" Misao said in a hiss wrapping his hands around the boys waist.
"We would meet for coffee on different occasions and we became friends. He never mentioned to me that you were his brother or that your family was the Yakuza. Then one day Hito and I had just left the coffee shop next to the book store. I went ahead to my job but Hito went into the record store. I saw you pull up in front of the building and out came Hito. You got of the car with a heated look on your face wanting to yell at the silly man but all he did was smile at you and you broke."
"He's annoying as all hell and sometimes I want to smack that goofy grin off his face but then he says something stupid and Idk..." Misao says with frustration in his voice.
Kinnojo laughs at the cute but oh so rare face his lover is making in front of his very eyes. He wraps his arms around the other neck and smiles.
"From that moment on I would beg Hito to introduce us but all he would say was that it was up to fate." Kinnojo admits to the other.
"So the first time I saw you through the window of that bookstore was probably your hundredth time seeing me" Misao asked.
"I wouldn't say hundredth but yes it was quite a few"
"Dammit this proves that when it comes to you my skills of knowing everything is seriously lacking. And my own brother was plotting against me in my love life calling it "fate".
The room dropped into silence as Kinnojo whispered with a serious tone. "My love for you was the brightest star in the blackest of nights. It shined so bright that it guided me to a vast sea of strength I never knew I had." Placing a sweet and light kiss on Misao's lips he said: "If I never get the chance to say this again, Thank you, Thank you for your Love.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aww that note at the end <3
And yup, it makes more sense now. I was wondering why Kino went along with Miso so well, not being overwhelmed by his advances or anything. Turns out it's because he's loved him for quite a while already xD
Now everything seems clear.I always felt that their relationship was too fast as if they had known each other for a long time now this chapter finally fell some shade of light and the end note was really