Chapter Thirty-One – Two Very Stubborn Men

April couldn’t sleep. Eventually, they had pulled the coffee table aside and placed a futon on the floor so that they could sleep without waking up with stiff necks or melded into each other. While that might have sounded interesting, being forced to sleep one on top of the other hadn’t worked that well, so the futon was the solution.

There was another reason why April was thankful for their current sleeping arrangements. He could toss and turn without waking Jett up. His dad was right. He needed to tell Jett already about who he really was. Or, better said, who he wasn’t. Or, better …

April huffed in frustration and then quickly held his breath. It wasn’t in his interest at all to wake up Jett since he still had no idea whatsoever about how he could tell Jett his current boyfriend and Theo were the same person without triggering some disaster.

The situation seemed a mess as it was, with Jett’s dad back home. He trusted his dad but didn’t believe in miracles. April could only hope that Mr. Huntsman’s talk with his dad would change things, at least a little.

That hour his dad had talked about had expired for about other three, and that, for some reason, kept him awake, as well. What could they talk about at such length?

When could it be the right moment to tell Jett? How would he go about it? He could just blurt it out, but it sounded like a bad idea. Or he could cushion the blow by starting to confess his feelings first. It didn’t matter that there hadn’t been some huge declarations of love between them. Jett wasn’t crazy about talking about feels, so April could be the one to start doing that.

He needed to assure Jett that he loved him. That had to be the first step. After that, April could say everything else. But maybe after things got a little clearer with Jett’s dad. Yes, that was the last reprieve he would allow himself before saying the words and confessing to his deceit. Well, back then, Jett had been pretty hard on him, pushing him away and then pretending not to know him. That had been rough. Yet, somehow, at the moment, April didn’t feel like that could hold as a defense for not telling the truth.

It all seemed so far away, a life apart, but still, if he closed his eyes, April could recall everything as if it had happened the day before. Maybe Jett had his own explanations to give. Maybe …

But what if Jett that time had really hated Theo? What if he was now blinded by the love he had for Jett, and he didn’t see some crack in the shiny bubble he imagined their life together to be?

No, no, no, he couldn’t let such thoughts destroy his resolve. Jett must have an explanation for why he had done those things. And they were both so young, kids even! That was enough to explain even the stupidest things they had ever done.

Only that now he wasn’t exactly a kid anymore, and keeping all a secret appeared to be more than just a childish mistake. There had to be a reason, one much stronger than both of them, why they felt like this toward one another, seven years after meeting for the first time in their shared history.

Jett had had plenty of time to grow up. He might not have liked being kissed by a boy at thirteen, but it was sure as hell that he liked it now. April turned and stared in the dark at Jett’s profile. He couldn’t make much of what he was really seeing, but it wasn’t pitch black, either. More than seeing anything, he could hear Jett’s steady breathing, and that was making his frantic mind a bit calmer, too.

Yes, now, Jett very much enjoyed being kissed and kissing back. He had been a real womanizer, but right now, he only had eyes for April. That was not something to sweep under the rug. Looking back, April felt a bit silly for not saying anything. Still, at first, he had thought Jett would kick his ass, especially since he seemed like such a thug.

Could Jett turn on him for not telling? Would he be so disappointed that he would instead end their relationship? April knew one thing; he didn’t have all the answers. Some things were bound to remain unknown, and that sucked, but it was also how life went, or, at least, his dad would tell him that.

Slowly, he placed one hand on Jett’s chest, making sure not to wake him up. If he focused enough, he could feel the heartbeat. April wanted nothing more but to cuddle next to Jett’s larger body and enjoy his lover’s warmth. But, at the same time, he felt like such a fraud, and he decided that he needed to punish himself a little. There would be no cuddling until he told Jett everything.

Also, if April thought a little more, Jett hadn’t confessed being in love, and he was against feels, as a principle. He had said that much, April nodded to himself. Yes, at least for now, that was a good escape. Of course, he had nothing against being the one to confess first, and maybe Jett was too shy to say it first and ...

April felt the need to groan, but he either did that silently or only internally because making strange sounds in the middle of the night was bound to wake up Jett eventually, where all the tossing and turning hadn’t succeeded, so far. He moved his hand slowly over Jett’s chest. Confessing his love would be easy. Confessing to everything else was, well, something else. If he could live through that, through Jett’s - what? - disappointment, wrath? - he could live through anything. What did not kill you made you stronger and all that. Only that April could have done without the trial of fire and wished he could be on the other side on that confession, stronger already.

Worrying about the future would bring him nothing good. Instead, he would focus on the present since he had plenty to deal with, as things were. Once Jett’s dad was back to his base, he would take Jett aside and tell him everything.

With that decision taken, he could finally go to sleep. Jett’s steady breathing was soothing and music to his ears and tired brain.

***

Jett woke up to the sound of the front door opening and closing very slowly as if the person using it wanted to sneak into the house. A bit confused, and with his eyes still grainy with sleep, he looked at the window. It wasn’t day yet, but it was no longer night, either. It had to be five am, at least. He disentangled himself from April’s arms and tiptoed outside the living room, ready to intercept the wood be burglar.

“What the hell?” Jett murmured under his breath.

In the kitchen, his dad was drinking a glass of water like that was the most natural thing to do at five in the freaking morning, after being out for the entire night.

“Where are you coming from at this hour?” he whispered angrily, although he had no idea why he was angry.

He closed the kitchen door after him.

“I’m not being held accountable by the likes of you,” his dad spat, but he was whispering, too. “What am I? Twelve? I’m your father, and I can come home whenever I want.”

“Oh, really? It didn’t cross your mind that some people might worry, right?”

His dad grimaced and took another sip from his glass of water. “Don’t take me for a fool, Jett. I know exactly how much you care. You made it pretty clear yesterday. Just to put your mind at ease, I’m in one piece, as you can see.”

“I don’t give a rat’s ass about that,” Jett said aggressively. “Where have you been the entire night? What did you say to April’s dad? Were you with him all this time?”

His dad slammed the empty glass on the counter. Jett frowned. What the hell was that all about?

“That’s none of your business, is it?” his dad said through his teeth.

“It is. April’s dad wanted to talk to you for a reason.”

“Yeah. He made that clear.”

Jett stood in the door and crossed his arms over his chest. He wouldn’t let his dad off the hook that easily.

“Out of my way, boy.” His dad stared at him from under furrowed brows, and his eyes threw dangerous daggers.

“April is not leaving,” Jett said slowly, to make sure his dad understood him.

“April this, April that,” his dad said with obvious frustration. “Is there nothing else on your mind, boy? Like having a son? Living responsibly?”

“Living responsibly? What’s that even supposed to mean? You care about Carina getting an honest job. You order April to go to school. It’s me you don’t care even to say anything like that!”

“I know what you are,” his father hissed as he got closer. “Do you think I’m blind? You’re a thug, and you’re so spoiled for anything good in your life that you’re not worth the trouble.”

Jett ground his teeth hard.

His dad wavered. But he didn’t take that back. Instead, he continued. “Just make right by that kid. Maybe your wife will manage to make an honest man out of you. God knows I tried.”

“You didn’t try enough,” Jett said, closing his fists. That dark fog was coming over his eyes again.

“Says who? You? All you cared, all your life, has been to do the opposite of everything I’ve ever told you.”

Jett stood there, seething with anger. It was so little needed for him to explode. But that would leave him exposed, and he didn’t care about doing that. “Whatever,” he said, feigning indifference. “April is not leaving. That’s all I want you to understand.”

He stepped aside, allowing his dad to walk out of the kitchen. He didn’t get a reply, just an annoyed grunt that could mean anything. So nothing had changed. Whatever April’s dad must have said to his dad, it hadn’t worked. But that didn’t mean anything. April didn’t have to count on his dad for this; he had Jett, his boyfriend.

April would learn soon enough how much Jett loved him. It would be a damned annoying and embarrassing thing to do, but he would do it, once his dad was out of their hair and back to his base and his life. Then April would know that he didn’t have to run to his dad and ask for help. Jett was strong enough to face his father.

And April wouldn’t leave the house and him. Not now, not ever.

***

“So, could you tell me what you two spoke for hours?” April asked after his dad picked up, and he greeted him.

Jett had said little about what had happened when Mr. Huntsman had come back home the night before at the break of dawn. April had awakened at the sound of doors slamming and noticed Jett’s dark frown when he had come back to their improvised bed. Except for monosyllabic answers, April hadn’t managed to get anything out of Jett.

For that reason, he needed answers. Also, he was a bit curious about whether Mr. Huntsman had really spent the entire night talking to his dad. And, if yes, what on earth could they have talked about?

“This and that,” Sid replied.

He seemed preoccupied and not much in the mood to talk, which April found strange. “This and that,” he repeated the words slowly. “Until morning?”

“Almost,” his dad confirmed.

It wasn’t like him to be so tongue-tied. Could it be that Mr. Huntsman had worn him down with who knew what arguments? Jett had said his dad was stubborn. Maybe his own dad had gone the extra mile trying to make Mr. Huntsman see reason. Now, Sid was beat tired, which could have explained the short answers that only rivaled with Jett’s. April’s heart instantly went to his dad. He was an ungrateful son, questioning his parent like that instead of letting him rest. It was, after all, still a workday, and that must have meant that his father had gone to work as tired as he sounded now.

“All right, dad. I just wanted to make sure that Mr. Huntsman didn’t eat you or something,” April joked. “It must have been tiresome to try to convince him of, well, anything that’s not on his agenda.”

He was still fishing for info, but his dad didn’t appear to take the bait.

“April, you’ll be fine,” Sid said, his voice warm and gentle. “I don’t think Jett’s dad will stand in your way to be with Jett.”

“Oh, so you convinced him!” April expressed his happiness a bit too loudly, and then reconsidered and turned down the volume of his voice. “I knew only you could. Dad, you’re the greatest!”

“Don’t thank me just yet. I didn’t do anything. We just talked.”

“Okay. But Mr. Huntsman got back home this morning in a bit of a mood. I think he got into a fight with Jett.”

“He did?” Sid asked, and his voice sounded tired now. “I guess it’s part of the process,” he murmured and seemed as if he was talking to himself.

“Process? What process?” April asked.

“It’s complicated, son. But I don’t see any reason – any real reason – why Tom would be against you two. So that you know, he cares about Jett a great deal.”

“He does? I mean, I guess so, he’s still his dad, and … Wait, Tom? You call Mr. Huntsman Tom?”

“Yes, April. As much as it might surprise you, old people do address one another using their first names sometimes.” Now his dad was a bit amused.

April snickered. “Old people. Dad, you’re not old.”

“Much older than you, so I have the right to tell you goodbye now. I have a lot of things to do. Of course, if anything happens, just call. But I’d say things should work out now.”

“I believe you, dad. Even though Jett and his dad seem to be as much at odds as before.”

“People love in different ways. You shouldn’t judge them.”

“I don’t want to contradict you, dad, but if someone says they hate another person, I don’t really think it’s love involved.”

“Jett shouldn’t talk like that to his father,” Sid said matter-of-factly.

“I know, and I told him as much. But he’s stubborn.”

“Just like his old man.” Sid laughed. “I don’t know Jett well, but he might be the spitting image of his father.”

“So, you like Mr. Huntsman?” April asked.

“I really need to go, April. Talk to you soon,” Sid said quickly.

“Okay, dad, sorry to keep you.”

April stared at his phone, a bit intrigued by the conversation he had just had. Something was amiss, or his father wasn’t saying everything, which was weird. He and his dad had no secrets, and now it felt like there was one. But what could it be? The dads must have had one hell of a conversation since it had lasted for eight hours or so. April scratched his head. Well, now things were supposed to be all fine, according to his father. So, all he needed to do was to have faith.

***

April walked back into the house only to witness another angry exchange between Jett and his father.

“Will you get off my case already?” Jett was raising his voice above the admitted limit.

“I told you I wasn’t going to let you off the hook.” Mr. Huntsman looked all doom and gloom, standing in the middle of the room, his arms crossed over his chest.

“And I told you, loud and clear, that nothing would change my mind.”

April stood there, frozen, unsure whether it would be better to get out again or stay.

“This boy,” Mr. Huntsman pointed at him, “has no business living with you like you two are married or something. I can’t let you do this.”

Oh, April thought. It was rare that his dad was wrong, and this had to be one of those occasions. So, Mr. Huntsman still didn’t want him and Jett together. Well, he hadn’t held his breath, just as he had promised himself.

“Why does it matter what you think?” Jett shouted. “You’re never home. You don’t care. April doesn’t leave, and that’s final!”

April sighed. Maybe his dad was right, and he could spend at least the weekend back home. That would allow everyone to breathe a little. If Mr. Huntsman didn’t have any reason to start a fight with Jett, then maybe things would work out differently. Right now, everyone’s emotions were running high, and April himself felt that it was quite difficult to keep a clear head.

“Maybe,” he raised one hand as if he was asking to be allowed to speak, “I could let you two talk about your, um, issues, on your own time.”

“April, you’re not leaving,” Jett said sternly, throwing him a dark look.

It pained him to see Jett like that. Despite the angry words, the attitude, April could recognize a bit of desperation, and even the thought was a bit scary. Not for him, as he would accept Jett with everything he had, but for Jett, who wanted so much to be strong and hold his ground in front of his father.

“Okay, but, you know, it’s your father’s house, and it feels like --” April started, trying hard to keep his voice steady and calm.

“It’s not his house,” Jett said with finality. “It’s mine,” he added, pointing a finger at his chest.

Oh. April fell silent.

“I was waiting for you to bring that up,” Mr. Huntsman intervened.

“Aunt Flora left it to me,” Jett said, his irritation growing with each word. “You sold your house.”

“Because it wasn’t a home. No one wanted to live there anymore,” Mr. Huntsman said slowly.

April could bet Jett’s dad sounded sad. He could understand that.

“That’s right,” Jett said aggressively. His hands were curled into fists, dropped by his sides now. “And that means I do what I want in my own house.”

“Hmm.” Mr. Huntsman shook his head. “Everything is about what you want to do, isn’t it? You don’t care that it’s wrong.”

“Wrong? What’s wrong? Wanting to be with April? Why? Because he’s a dude, and you can’t think of two dudes living together?”

April began considering again whether that was a discussion he wanted to be present to or not.

“If this is you trying to make me into some bigot, you’re wasting your breath, son.” Mr. Huntsman had a frown just as big as Jett’s on his face now. “I have nothing against the boy. You just have other priorities right now.”

“Like what? Carina and I will take good care of Jay, don’t you worry. We’ll do it our way.”

“Just as much as the baby is your son, he’s also my grandson,” Mr. Huntsman said accusingly.

“Your grandson? You’ve never held him once!”

April could feel his throat squeezing. That was maybe unfair, but Jett was right. He had never seen Mr. Huntsman acknowledging Jay except in conversations. He had never shown interest except for telling Jett to assume responsibility and Carina to do things she was already doing as the baby’s mother.

“I don’t need to hold him to care for his wellbeing,” Mr. Huntsman replied.

Jett scoffed and shook his head. “That’s you. All alone in your world. God forbid anyone touches that.”

“I lived enough to know what’s right.”

“You should have lived enough to know you’re wrong,” Jett spat.

“Think that all you want. As long as I’m here, I’ll do my best to put you on the right path.”

“As long as you’re here? Does that mean all this shit is going to stop if you leave? Then, you know what? You’re not welcome anymore!”

April gasped. “Jett,” he called in a strained voice.

Mr. Huntsman seemed surprised with Jett’s outburst, just as much as April. “Are you saying that I should leave?”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m saying. Pack your bags and go wherever you want to be in this world. Not here. Don’t come here anymore if all you want to do is make me bend to your will. I’m not doing squat.”

Mr. Huntsman set his jaw hard. “If that’s what you want.” He moved stiffly as he walked out of the room.

April hurried to Jett. “Jett, go and apologize to your dad right now.”

“Are you fucking mental? Didn’t you hear him just now?” Jett was still boiling, and April wasn’t sure if he was supposed to touch him at all right now.

“I heard him. But I still think that saying all those things was wrong. You need to work things out with him, not become more estranged. I’m sure he doesn’t want you to be unhappy. He just needs to understand that your decision is different from what he believes. You need to make him understand.”

Jett began pacing the room. “I tried that. Well, guess what? It didn’t fucking work. So, stop blaming me --”

“I’m not blaming you!”

“Stop taking his side!”

“I’m not taking his side!”

“Well, stop whatever the fuck you’re doing that’s getting on my fucking nerves!”

April inhaled, stopped, and exhaled. “Look, Jett, I want to stay here. But not if it means you’re pushing your father away.”

“Oh, really? You want me to pick him over you? How’s that supposed to work?”

April ran both hands over his face. His dad would have known what to say to be the right thing, but he was failing spectacularly. “Look, if you two just calm down a little --”

“No one’s calming down.” Jett stood with his back to him. “And you’re not leaving, and that’s final. Unless you want to pick that bone with me.”

In an instant, April saw what his had said over the phone. Jett was, indeed, the spitting image of his father. He was just as stubborn, and, as much as he cared for those around him, he had a knack for pushing them away. Good thing April knew better than to believe that Jett really wanted to get into a fight right now. So, he moved toward him and embraced him from behind. He could feel Jett slightly shaking. That was not like him. April squeezed as much as he could and pressed his forehead against Jett’s broad back. “I’m with you, Jett, no one else. You get it, right?”

There was no reply for a while, but, gradually, Jett relaxed and closed his hands over April’s arms as they circled his waist. “He’s just such a bastard,” Jett said bitterly.

“He thinks he’s doing the right thing. I think he cares about you.”

Jett just laughed humorlessly. “You think too much of him. All his life, everything was about him.”

April knew better than to insist. “Then know that I’ll stay with you, even if I don’t agree with you on this one. I still believe that you should talk to him and prevent him from leaving.”

“Don’t worry. He can afford the hotel. I don’t even know why he bothers to come here, year after year.”

“Because he’s your dad and --”

“Because he wants to believe he does enough,” Jett interrupted him sharply.

“Okay. I’m not fighting,” April said. He held Jett tightly. “It would have been so much better if he agreed to us.”

“At least, yours thinks we’re doing nothing wrong.”

“Yeah, my dad is like that,” April agreed.

Now he was worried, nonetheless. He would call his dad again and tell him about what had happened. Maybe he had some words of wisdom, but if he were honest to himself, April would think that the worst had already happened, and there was little words could do to solve the situation, unless they came from Jett, and Mr. Huntsman would listen to them.

***

“So, has Tom already left the house?” Sid asked in a worried voice as soon as April explained the situation.

“I think he is still upstairs, packing.”

“That’s disappointing.”

“I know,” April said in a meek voice. “Jett doesn’t want to hear about taking back what he said.”

“As I thought. Two very stubborn men,” Sid said and sighed. “Thank you for telling me about it, April.”

“Dad, what do you think I should do?”

“Just be happy, pumpkin. Enjoy what you have. Enjoy having Jett by your side. Everything else will come to pass.”

“Thank you, dad. But could you tell me what made you think that Jett’s dad would have a change of heart about us?”

“Not right now. But I will. There are just so many things I need to do right now.”

April didn’t want to keep his dad more than it was necessary. It looked like he was busy with something these days, and that was fine by him. For so many years, April had been the center of his father’s universe as he well knew. Well, he and his sister, only that Melinda had grown up before him and left home to build her own life, with a husband and kids. It was only normal for his dad to enjoy a little bit of freedom now, which meant he had his own stuff to care about, not obsess over his son’s love life and all that entailed.

***

Jett could hear his father’s muffled voice through the door. Most probably, he was talking to someone on the phone. He could knock, go inside, and tell his dad that he didn’t need to leave. As long as he didn’t get in his and April’s way, he could stay with them. That was what he wanted to tell him, but he was still hesitating.

In front of April, earlier, he had been all ballsy, saying that he wouldn’t care if his father left, but he had his second thoughts.

“Come stay with you?” His father’s voice was raised, but more in surprise than anger or anything else.

So, his father already had someone he could go live with. That made things easier, but Jett’s heart sank. His hand, raised to knock, dropped. Maybe it was better if they both went their different paths. Nothing really held them together.

TBC