The Familiar of Fate: Chapter 133 – Reason for Living(6)
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Lifelessly, Fate drifted through the now deep blue sea, with both of his unmoving eyes having locked themselves on the fading radiance that still shined from above…

 

[Blub...blub...blub…]

 

As he continued to watch the world around him growing dark, he felt as if an eternity had passed since he had been so defiant and full of life, recalling the supposedly recent memories as if they were from a lifetime ago, with a disheartened smile on his face…

 

[Blub...blub...blub…]

 

 

He had acknowledged the unfortunate truth of his existence...that he had nothing to bargain with, not even his life. After this, his mentality had drifted away from anything resembling sanity, as he cried out, again and again, trying to get answers from a world that would not heed him no matter what he did…

 

Fate’s questions rang out into the darkening sea...

 

-Why am I here?!! Why did I have to die?!! Why couldn’t someone else have been unfortunate enough to end up like this, instead of me?!! How was I supposed to survive in a world like that?!!! 

 

These questions were the beginning of his downward spiral into his current state…

 

[Blub...blub...blub…]

 

As the sea around him was slowly consumed by the shadows below, Fate’s despair continued to grow…

 

Fate began to question every detail of his life, trying to understand how he had ended up here, only to grow more depressed and frustrated with each attempt. 

 

Was there anything he could have done to overturn his cruel fate in his previous life, without the knowledge he had now? Had he done something so terrible that he truly warranted the suffering he was enduring...or rather, had endured in his second life? 

 

-Is my very existence a sin…?! What should I have done…?!

 

He desperately forced every ounce of strength in his body into his left arm, straining it, even as pain racked his nerves, in order to reach towards the light that only seemed to mock him…

 

-...ANSWER ME, WORLD!!!

 

But, again, the world denied his cries, as it silently observed its presumed prey…

Time continued to pass by, and Fate’s thoughts became steadily fueled by his self-loathing…

-Powerless...I can’t even raise a f***ing arm for more than a few seconds...I couldn’t even try to defend myself against some psycho geezer...and I barely managed to kill a boar, despite being able to shoot f***ing fire from my hands!

 

The memories of his powerless moments rushed through his head...the memories of his tragic fate on Earth...of his suffering at the hands of his two-faced mother...of his struggle to barely land a hit on Jacob...of not being able to slay a single beast without the aid of someone else’s assistance…

 

These tragic moments kept replaying, running again and again in a continuous loop through his mind…

 

-Really...what should I have expected to achieve in this next life...After all, once a loser always a loser, right…? I died pathetically...lived a second life pathetically...and died pathetically again…

 

Fate could feel tears forming at the corners of his eyes, as his incredibly short and sad second life flashed within their dimming light. Every moment of pain and helplessness seemed to be slowly drifting away in these tears, which seemed to mock him as they rose towards the far-away surface…

 

The life that he had suffered through for four years was slipping away…

 

However, even as his despair overtook him, he did not dare to miss a single second of his life. His brain flickered like a newly-lit candle, as his consciousness dove beyond the waters his current life, sifting through his combined years of life in their entirety. Every moment of joy, sadness, pride, greed, despair, anger, and laughter that had occurred throughout his two lifetimes were now crystal clear to him!

 

-Holy...sh*t...everything I tried to think back to while I was stuck in that room...all of my memories that were slowly fading...these sensations! It’s like all of my life was a movie stuck in 360p and now I’m getting to watch the HD remastered edition! Wow...there’s so much…

 

He could feel his senses being flooded with a burst of information. The rich taste of spaghetti from his trips to Rome, the cushiony softness of the pillows at his grandparents’ house, the spine-shaking sounds of rock music that blared out of his headphones, the fragrant scent of crimson strawberries that were part of his mother’s deserts, and every magnificent sight of the deep orange sun as it slowly descended over the horizon. 

 

So many wondrous sensations and memories made his flickering mind shine like the sun in the dark sea, temporarily beating out the encroaching demons of despair that had been assaulting his soul with their flames! 

 

However, this relief was short-lived, as a new, larger shadow began to wrap itself around his heart, nearly snuffing the renewed flames of life out in an instant...regret. It was a regret much larger than that of his current life, despite his sufferings...one that seemed to have absorbed the sun-like light into itself, turning into an unholy light that wrapped around him like a serpent, wishing to swallow Fate’s remaining light…

 

-All of it...it’s so clear...I can feel everything from back then...b-but…

 

The amount of glistening tears that swam towards the surface surged, as the remaining light in his eyes dwindled to nothing, allowing the slowly blackening sea’s darkness to pour over them…

 

-...I-I’ll never get to feel those feelings again...will I…?

 

With his sorrowful tone projecting across the empty space and his tears making their escape through the remaining window of the fading sunlight above, Fate had consigned his hope…

...

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