CH1 From Lumber Jack to . . .
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In the vast forests of Canada, Alex Parker, a rugged lumberjack with a towering height of six feet, spent his days felling trees with his own two hands. His thick black beard, scruffy black hair, and intense brown eyes defined his appearance. As he drove his camouflage-painted jeep back to his remote, off-grid cabin, Alex's keen eyes caught sight of an unusual sight on the side of the dirt road. Curious, he pulled over and got out to investigate what he initially thought might be roadkill, pink roadkill. Much to his surprise, it turned out to be a large pink bird with a distinctive curved beak and yellow eyes.

"Is that a flamingo?" Alex inspected the feathery figure.

The lumberjack took a closer look and saw that the bird was still breathing. He had a lot of questions. Was this considered roadkill? Why would there be a flamingo in Canada? Should he try to save it or look up how to cook it? Did it escape from a zoo? Should he call a ranger? Does flamingo taste like chicken? And what was the pink gem on its head?

Alex was intrigued. He had never seen a bird so far from its natural habitat before. The last time he had seen one was in a book about exotic animals found in tropical vacation spots around the world. As he reached down to pick up the poor creature, he heard a strange sound coming from his pocket. His phone! It must be vibrating, but why wasn't there a notification showing who it was? He took it out of his pocket and looked at it. For some reason, the screen was black with pink text.

[New Quest: Save Fufi the Flamingo

From: Luna <3

Fufi has been hit by a truck. She needs help. Please save Fufi.

Reward: Gratitude of the cutest goddess]

 

Faced with a bizarre quest from his phone to rescue a flamingo named Fufi, Alex initially suspected a virus. Nevertheless, he prioritized the well-being of the bird, gently lifting Fufi and placing her safely in his jeep.

"Don't worry," Alex gently stroked the pink bird. "I'll save you."

The flamingo, surprisingly light for its size, lay limply across the passenger seat. Alex gently placed a towel around it from the back seat. He always kept a towel handy, and made a point of never being caught without one. He then called the closest vet on his cell phone and, after trying for over thirty minutes, made an emergency appointment. Most of the vets in the area specialized in large animals, as rural areas tended to have large populations of cattle, horses, and sheep. Alex tuned to a smooth jazz station on the radio. After a ten-minute drive, the jeep pulled into the vet's parking lot. The burly man burst through the double doors, shocking the staff with the injured flamingo cradled in his arms.  After filling out some forms, the pair were told to wait in the reception area.

The female veterinarian wore a white lab coat with her hair back in a ponytail. She motioned for Alex to enter the examination room. "You know mister Parker we don't get too many exotic pets down here what happened?" The doctor gestured to the examining table, where Alex deposited the bird. The doctor put her hand on Fufi's body just under her wing. Fufi shuddered at her touch but didn’t peck the lady.

 

"I found her on the side of the road when I drove back from work." Alex said, lifting his head to meet the woman’s gaze. "She might have broken a wing. I think she might have been hit by a truck and flung off into the ditch."

 

She gave him a blank look. “Hit by a truck?  Is this a joke?  A truck hitting a bird would turn it into a smear on the road, sending the bird off to isekai land.”

 

“Uh…” Alex stammered. “Maybe she was flying and a vehicle clipped her wing.”

 

"I'll need to examine her further to make sure there isn't anything else wrong." She reached up and held one wing away from her body while trying to find a pulse point. "Good girl! your avian friend will be fine once we patch her up." As she finished saying that she pushed slightly on the broken wing bone, which caused the flamingo to honk in pain. 

 

The doctor pointed at the Flamingo's head. "There is some kind of pink gem lodged into her head. How did you come to possess a Pink Pearl of Purity?" She asked the pink avian creature, her voice playful.

 

"Pink Pearl of Pure, what?" Alex asked, sounding confused.

 

The doctor snickered, "I'm just kidding. This whole thing reminds me of an anime I watched when I was a little girl. There was a cat with a moon crest between the eyes. Who knows how it got there. Maybe you've discovered a new breed of gem Flamingo or some weirdo at the zoo decided to have fun with super glue."

 

Alex awkwardly chuckled at the joke.  "Uh, I didn’t really think much about it, just that I needed to get help and not waste any time." Alex felt a little awkward at the doctor’s weird mannerisms.

 

The doctor agreed, "Since she's not yours, I don't need to see your license to own an exotic pet. The receptionist thought it was a prank call when you called."

Alex scratched his head. "I thought it was a prank too. I got a text saying to save Fufi right after I pulled over." He pulled out his phone to show the doctor, but the text was gone. He checked three times, but it wasn't in his messages. "I guess my phone must have glitched. Could have sworn I got a text with her name in it."

“Aw, you already gave her a name.  You must really like her.” The lab-coat wearing woman teased.

 

“No no, she came with a name.” Alex defended weakly but without the text to prove it, he worried he might sound crazy so he didn’t sound convinced himself.

 

The doctor didn’t look convinced either. Instead, she placed the bird on a table with an x-ray fixture hanging above it. She held the x-ray machine at a few angles to get some shots of the bird’s bones. 

 

The doctor chuckled while she took x-rays, "Have you been watching too many Magical Girl Animes? Things like that don't happen in real life." She grabbed a tablet from her desk and checked the data. "As far as I can tell there is no reason that a pink gem should be embedded into this flamingo's head. However, I don't think it is a good idea to try to remove it. It appears to be fused with the head and might cause more damage if I try to surgically remove it." To emphasize her point she flipped the tablet around and showed an x-ray to Alex.  The veterinarian used a pen to point to the spot on the skull.

 

"Well what can be done?" Alex asked frustrated at the doctor's reply.

 

The doctor smiled at Alex, "I'm assuming that you were not planning on making Fufi kabobs. It is illegal to hunt Flamingos, you know. Maybe get some fish and see if she'll eat it. You could call some zoos and see if any of them are missing a Flamingo with a gem in its head.  I don’t think this is a normal wild flamingo, someone is missing her."

 

After taping the broken wing in a resting position to split it, she handed the flamingo back to the bearded man.

 

“Thank you doctor. I’ll look out for her and make some phone calls when we get home.” the black-haired burly lumberjack replied on his way out of the vet’s office.

 

Alex picked up Fufi, took her back to his jeep and drove home. After arriving at his cabin he started searching the internet for answers about his gem and his mysterious quest. It was mostly articles like his which talked about people who went on quests because they received texts or emails telling them where to go or something like that. Most of the results he found were in fact light novels, manga, or anime. Alex got frustrated but kept scrolling down the list.

 

After much searching, Alex finally found an article that might provide some clues as to what he had gotten himself into.

The article delved into the story of a compelling Japanese book series known as "Kuro Monogatari." It revolved around the journey of a young noble girl, Ciel, who faced the tragic loss of her family at a tender age. Fueled by a burning desire for vengeance, she resolved to become a formidable vampire hunter. In a fateful battle, Ciel encountered a powerful vampire whose sword struck her, awakening a hidden gem embedded in her skull. This transformative event bestowed upon her extraordinary powers beyond those of mere mortals. Throughout her arduous journey, Ciel embarks on numerous adventures, unraveling mysteries and secrets that shape her long and extraordinary life.

With a heavy sigh, Alex realized the time he spent reading trashy web fiction had been a complete waste.

Alex turned away from the desktop computer. "Fufi, trying to find information about you on the internet is just going to lead to fantastical stories." He then went to the chest freezer in the garage and took out some frozen northern pikeminnow that he had caught on a fishing trip with his buddies a while ago. He placed the vacuum-sealed frozen fish in the sink and filled it with lukewarm water. "Well, I guess we'll find out if flamingos eat raw fish once this thaws."

Alex sat in his worn leather recliner and regarded the pink flamingo. 

The bird, wrapped in a blanket, lifted its head and stared at him. 

"I suppose you can't tell me where you came from?" Alex asked the bird.

Fufi honked like a goose in response.

In the following 30 minutes, Alex dedicated his time to contacting the few zoos in the province through phone calls. The majority of these zoos did not have flamingos in their possession. To the Canadian zoos, the question of why they would need a tropical bird was a valid one. There were even individuals who perceived Alex's calls as pranks and promptly hung up on him.

"Rude," Alex said with a chuckle and put his phone in his pocket. He took the thawed fish out of the vacuum-sealed bag and put it in a bowl to feed to Fufi. 

On her long legs, Fufi the flamingo stood. She tried to flap her wings, but only one obeyed properly. Her head dipped into the bowl of fish. She tilted her head toward Alex, appearing to await his guidance on her dinner. Again, Alex found himself fighting laughter. The pink gem in her skull appeared to glow with an inner light. Alex thought it was just his imagination.

The following morning, Alex ventured outside and made his way to the riverbed bordering the southern edge of his property. A stream meandered through the low-lying ground, creating a small pond in a secluded spot. As he approached the water, he noticed a pair of diving ducks gracefully floating on the surface. Suddenly, they vanished beneath the waves, leaving Alex intrigued. Unlike ordinary ducks, diving ducks possessed the peculiar ability to disappear underwater, in search of sustenance.

Alex went down to the ducks, who were enjoying a rare sunny day in the snow. The ducks probably wouldn't understand him, but he tried anyway. "Hey ducks, how's fishing today? I know a flamingo who might like seafood too. Maybe you could be friends."

The ducks continued to bob on the water, ignoring him.

"Okay...well, keep doing your thing." Alex knew that flamingos mostly ate crustaceans, which is why their feathers were pink. He could catch some crayfish in the freshwater, but things like krill and shrimp were saltwater creatures. The closest ocean was hundreds of miles to the north, so that wasn't an option. Did they even have krill in the arctic ocean?

Alex returned home and finished his chores in the cabin. He prepared for his job in the forest the next day, knowing he would have to clean up bird poop when he returned. He hoped Fufi, his new housemate, would not destroy anything while he was gone. She watched him leave with her usual curious look, following him out the door. He stopped and blocked her way. "You stay here and recover for the day. I'll be back after work." The not-so-little bird stared at him intently with her bright red eyes, clearly wanting to come with him. "Alright, alright, fine. But you'll only be able to sit in the jeep all day. It will be boring," he joked. After locking the deadbolt, the pair headed out.

Alex opened the door for the pink bird, who hopped into his jeep. He held her injured wing away from the front of the vehicle so it wouldn't hit anything. Alex buckled his seat belt and they set off for the logging camp.

"I normally would say you need to buckle up before we go anywhere, but I don't think seat belts work right for someone of your build," Alex said, not caring if she understood him.

Fufi made a bird-like noise in response.  Maybe she understood?

After an hour’s drive, the pair pulled up to the logging site. Alex promptly unloaded his supplies and set to work cutting wood and doing other tasks that a lumberjack would do when harvesting from the forest. 

Fufi started out by hiding in the jeep, but she didn't stay there long. It was easy for her to get out through an open window. After escaping, she wandered outside towards a pile of 50-foot-long logs stacked beside a makeshift loading dock.

Seeing that the long-legged bird had left the jeep, Alex called out to warn people about her presence, but none of the other tough-as-nails workers cared much.  Oh well, she couldn’t fly away and if she wanted to head off into the forest, maybe she was a wild anime afterall.

"Hey, bird, watch out for truck traffic!" one man shouted at the flamingo strutting around

She gave him a loud honk as if she were rebuking him, then stomped off acting like a scolded child.

Alex told a group of workers the flamingo story. He had called a few zoos but hadn't found one that was missing a flamingo. The workers were amused by the pink bird, and Alex predicted that it would be the subject of much gossip in the small community.

Fufi ran up interrupting the story. Alex said he thought she was supposed to be taking it easy in the jeep, and that he had thought flamingos had simple bird brains. 

The pink bird stared at him intently, looking annoyed.

If her intent was to stop Alex from talking about her like she couldn’t understand then she’d succeeded. 

Alex eventually stopped for lunch. Fufi hopped over to him and stared at him expectantly. Alex offered her a sandwich, she just eyed it curiously. He told her to try it, and she nibbled on the corner without taking a real bite. 

With some coaxing, Fufi ate some beak-fulls of sandwich. 

Alex and the flamingo shared a meal. It was an unusual dining experience.  The work day finished and they headed back to Alex’s property.  They took it easy until the sun went down and headed to bed, calling it a day.

The next day at work. Fufi followed Alex like a duckling. The workers resumed cutting wood, the rugged Canadians were not at all fazed by the pink bird wandering about. Alex's workday continued with Fufi following him around like he was the mother duck and she the duckling. It was strange, but none of his coworkers teased him too much about it. They probably assumed he was playing a prank with a pet. Some people brought their dogs to work, but if they were not well-trained, it could be a problem due to all the heavy logging equipment in use.

Alex returned home that evening with Fufi riding shotgun. The flamingo found some new perches on top of the shelves in his cabin and spent the afternoon preening her feathers in front of a mirror. 

The pink bird was so close that he could smell the strong scent of fish emanating from her feathers. He reached out and gently patted her head with one hand while stroking its neck with the other, saying, "You really need a bath."

He undid the tape holding her wing in place for the past couple of days and much to his surprise, she was able to fully extend her wing.  Either Fufi healed really fast or the doctor overestimated the severity of the break.

As Alex's hand lightly touched the pink jewel adorning Fufi's head, a strange event unfolded. The gemstone emitted a vibrant pink glow, and simultaneously, his mobile phone started to ring. A nauseatingly sweet melody played, a high-pitched female voice singing in a language he presumed to be Japanese. Perplexed, Alex retrieved his phone from his pocket, observing pink text scrolling across the screen.

>Fufi has found you to be a maiden pure of heart and would like to form a contract with you. Do you agree to enter into this contract?

 

Yes / No

 

Alex was perplexed as to whether Fufi could read minds. The flamingo gave him a quizzical look and stood next to him, waiting for him to finish looking at his phone while occasionally glancing down. Her forehead gem glowed with pink light. After staring at the strange text for a few minutes, Alex thought, "I'm not a maiden, but I guess I can press the 'yes' button and see what happens. Maybe it's some kind of mobile game invite. Fufi's gem could be an RFID chip or something." He quickly tapped the ‘Yes’ button, but didn't expect anything to happen. Maybe there was something wrong with his phone. The idea that a pink flamingo could communicate with him was just too crazy to consider.

Alex looked back at Fufi, her wings spread wide, and then she squawked in a cute tone and spoke in clear English: "You have been chosen by my fair lady!" The flamingo then took flight, circling once before landing on one of his bedposts. Then, almost like a human woman dressing herself up, she walked over to one of his windows and turned around three times.
Was this some kind of bird dance? Alex struggled to process Fufi's strange behavior. "No, don't think about fantastical things," he told himself. "Let's just stick with the original plan and get cleaned off. I can clean Fufi off with a wet towel after taking a shower.”

Alex went to the bathroom and turned on the shower. As he was removing his clothes, he thought about what had just happened. He couldn't believe that Fufi had spoken to him in English. He wondered if she was just playing around or if there was something more to it.

After getting into the shower, he did a double take. He grabbed his phone and tried to find the pop-up that was there before. "Fufi can’t talk, she’s not a parrot, I must be too tired."

As soon as the words left his mouth Fufi started squawking again, speaking in a high pitched girl's voice, "Yes, you heard me correctly." 

 

Alex stood, in the shower, the warm water flowing over his naked body, cell phone in hand as if it might try something when he wasn’t looking. 

 

"Puri Puri Portal!" The bird flew into the shower with him. Pink hearts and iridescent bubbles trailed around her. 

 

The flamingo wrapped both of her wings around him tightly. Her wings felt like feathery ropes all pressed against him to create an extremely tight hug.

 

In a sudden, harmonious chiming reminiscent of glass bells, they were transported to an unfamiliar location. The night sky cast its dark cloak upon the surroundings, and a stunning woman stood regally before a throne draped in vibrant pink and red ribbons. His breath caught in his throat as his eyes darted around, taking in his new environment. Standing beside Fufi, he felt the cold night air on his bare skin, his cell phone clutched tightly in his hand.

 

The Flamingo dipped her head and held out her wings as if bowing in supplication to the deification of cuteness before him. 

 

Within the room's walls, sickly-sweet decorations prevailed. Several glass cases adorned the space, each showcasing dolls adorned in frilly dresses. Small, adorable plushies occupied alcoves on the wall, while oversized plushies gathered around a table in the corner, engrossed in an elaborate tea party.

 

But what truly captivated the eye were the minuscule fairies that flitted about, twirling wands in their tiny hands. Their delicate butterfly wings fluttered as they engaged in a playful game of tag along the ceiling, their high-pitched giggles echoing amidst the chandeliers.

 

By the window, a large sunflower stood tall in a vase. However, unlike ordinary sunflowers, this one bore a striking resemblance to a beaming yellow and black emoji. It swayed gently, as if dancing to an inaudible rhythm, its petals swaying in harmony.

 

"Welcome to my humble abode," the otherworldly beauty greeted the man and bird. "I am Luna."

 

The goddess stepped off of her throne and walked towards Alex, taking his hand into hers. 

"With your astute decision, Alexander, I shall bestow upon you the gift of my power."

 

Fufi nodded her head enthusiastically. Her wings gently caressed his body while she giggled in that high pitched girl's voice. 

 

"You are the individual that Fufi has selected. I would like to formalize your contract at the earliest convenience in order to progress to the subsequent phase." While she communicated, she ran her fingers through his hair, which felt comforting against the skin. Fufi also maintained her wing around him for support as he endeavored to preserve his equilibrium.

 

Still naked and wet, Alex felt a little overwhelmed. Contract? Official? Next step? What was this all about? He smiled at Luna who seemed to enjoy watching him smile at her in return.  

She returned to sit upon her throne."Let us commence with the ceremonial proceedings."

 

As if by magic the pair were standing in another place entirely. 

 

This new room looked like a monarch’s receiving room. There were several other figures sitting on chairs facing each other. Glass display cases on the side held stuffed animals,  dolls and jewelry. A couple small plushies carried scrolls and books back and forth.

 

Luna spoke loudly, addressing everyone present, "The commencement of the bonding ritual shall now take place!"

Edited 10-4-2024

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