Chapter 11 – The First Time
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I was sitting back home after the presentation, editing the video, Dare in my lap providing warmth. Šárka was tinkering away at a little wind up mouse toy for fun. I smiled to myself. Despite changing into a mouse girl and being thrust into a world of supers, I had a good life. It made me look back. Reminisce. Sadly, not about the good things, but the bad things. 

 

Somehow, through some unknown miracle, I had managed to get past all the gatekeeping at 18 and was well on my way through HRT. Klára was about 13 that time, and I was contemplating what uni to go to. Mom was neutral, as far as my transition went. She didn’t gender me right despite me constantly asking her to. Klára did, luckily. Mom had expectations for me, however. She wanted an easy life, to retire very early from working and to have her kids become rich and famous and take care of her. 

 

I might have been inclined to do so if she also wasn’t controlling and manipulative. After studying too long one night, I had forgotten to do my chores. When I woke up the next morning, I couldn’t see my hormones on my nightstand where I usually kept them. Mom was standing over my bed, holding both packs, looking down on me and frowning. 

 

“These are making you lazy and useless and I’m taking them away until you fix your behavior, young man!” I freaked out. Silently. My heart shattered, I just sat there staring at her, my eyes red, the circles under them obvious. My lips trembling. 

“I was doing homework I was given too much homework and I had no time for chores you could have asked Klára to help you when I was busy and you’re taking away my life saving medication as punishment?” I quickly blurted out in a single breath. She just sneered and exited the room, as I sat there in shock, holding my head in my hands in disbelief. 

 

Luckily she had to get to work before me and Klára had to get to school, and she didn’t think to take my pills with her. Klára being the little sleuth that she was, came back and quickly found them for me, and I got my morning dose. “Why would she take something she KNOWS I need!” I stashed them in my school bag to keep them somewhere more safe. 

“She doesn’t know how much you need them, sis. I’m glad nothing got mentioned at church yesterday about trans people. I know she keeps confessing for letting you go, for sinning like that, for and I quote letting you poison your mind and body.” Klára scooped up a spoonful of cereal in that moment and started crunching on it. 

“Jesus fuck you overhear her saying that? Poisoning my mind and body, really?” Klára nodded to confirm. I sighed and scratched my face. Wincing. 

“Facial hair?” My younger sister asked me, and I nodded. “I really can’t see any sort of shadow from over here.” She got right up in my face. “Or from here.” 

“Yeah, but I can still feel it, and it’s… ugh. It’s not good. I hate that I couldn’t get on blockers because of her.” We both checked the clock, Klára quickly finished her cereal. 

“I’ll go get the waxing strips.” 

 

“Thanks.” Klára smiled sadly at me as she left the room. Was waxing my face necessary? Yes. It was priority number one. Shaving meant stubble. Epilator takes too long and isn’t as severe. A wax strip? Apply, rip, apply rip, face clean within ten minutes, pain more manageable as it’s clusters of hair ripped out instead of one at a time like an epilator.

After school, instead of coming home, I decided to visit grandpa Václav. Last one I had, he was from dad’s side of the family. When I rang the bell he opened it, took one look at me and immediately pulled me into a hug. “Oh what did that damn woman do this time.” 

“She hid my hormones in the morning because I got too tired from homework to do my chores.” I felt him pat my head and sigh. He smelled of motor oil and smoke, but not the cigarette kind, the smoking meat kind. 

 

“I told that fool boy of mine marrying her would be a mistake. If it wasn’t for you and Klára I would still stand by that.” He broke the hug and made way in the door. “Come on in, let me know what happened, I got ham in the smoker outside. Bread in the oven. Perfect timing, truth be told.” I smiled and skipped inside, leaving my backpack in the kitchen as I sat down on the couch in the living room. 

 

“You always make food when you get stressed, gran, what’s gotten you stressed?” He looked at me and huffed. 

 

“Well the way your mother keeps treating you! She brings your father to an early grave with a heart attack, and she’s well on the way to giving you one.” He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. “She had to go and get involved with the church so heavily as well to cope. Couldn’t find a creative hobby like a regular person. Hell I’d tolerate her drinking as long as she treated you right.” He put his glasses back on and checked on the bread in the oven, taking it out, removing the lid and spritzing the top with some water before putting it back in. “No she had to go and find Jesus! What is this, America? Alright fifteen minutes until the bread is done, I could use some help in the shed, you coming?” 

 

“Do you have to ask? I love helping you out!” I jumped off the couch and followed him outside and to his shed, full of all kinds of tools. 

 

“Right so I got a couple microwaves from the scrapyard, And for the fun of it I want to make a super microwave, see about using it to melt stuff.” He smiled to himself as he handed me a screwdriver. “Dismantle them, carefully, the outside case could be sharp.” 

15 minutes later, we were snacking on home baked bread and smoked ham, the parts of the microwaves taken apart, put on a cloth on another part of the table to look through for pieces. Grandpa swallowed, cleared his throat, and began speaking as I looked at him. “If you want to, you can move in with me. I think it’ll do you good. Klára’s too young for your mom to let her do that, but you’re 18, an adult, it’s your choice.” I choked a bit at that, drinking tea to clear my throat. 

 

“Yes! Yes I want to move in! Oh my god gran! Thank you!” That offer had been the best thing to have happened to me my whole life. Mom wasn’t happy about me moving. Because she was losing some slave labor, and she couldn’t control my transition anymore. Then a year and a half year later, during summer, grandpa passed away. He was an inspiration, a role model. Anyone claiming I turned out trans because I didn’t have strong male role models growing up? Look towards Václav Maidenburg. A gentle giant of a man with bright eyes and a hug always available. Who made sure he had good food for guests, and an open ear. Who enjoyed working on his tools, in his garden, fixing things here and there. 

I wore a dress to the funeral. Black, simple, formal. His friends knew me as his granddaughter. He always made sure to confirm and correct them that I was a girl. Mom flipped her lid, however. She had shown up with Klára, and when she saw me in a dress, well. She kept saying I was disrespectful. That I was sinning in a house of god. At one point she tried to rip my dress off before she got escorted out by grandpa’s friends. Klára stayed there, and we both finally got to cry about losing him. 

 

When his last will got read, the only people who could inherit anything were me and Klára. And I pretty much got it all, including responsibility for Klára’s share of the inheritance that would be kept locked until she turned at least 18 and left our mother’s house. Mom was fuming for sure afterwards. 

 

The last time me and mom talked was in university, around the time that Klára was 15. Said I influenced her and blamed me for her being a lesbian. Me, studying engineering at Masaryk University in Brno, commuting from Grandpa’s home, influencing my younger sister to be gay. Couldn’t believe it when she accused me of it. She couldn’t legally take away the phone I bought Klára that year for Christmas, so she couldn’t cut our contact. Didn’t stop her from trying.

 

And then, it started. I made More Than Computer Mouse. Uploaded my first video. A recreation of the super microwave me and grandpa built. I only had one of those paper doll talking avatar things. You know, the kind right-winged folks generally use on youtube to have somebody on the screen when they talk. The Bridget Virtual Model came later, along with my voice. People lost their shit when I started using her in VRChat to hang out with fans. 

Back to the present, the video began uploading and I stretched, getting an idea. “Hey Šárka, I’m gonna go visit my grandpa’s grave, you wanna come along?” I could see her thinking for a second, before she nodded. We made our way outside, her wearing a winter coat with a hood that looked a shark’s mouth. The graveyard wasn’t that far away, and we stood before grandpa’s grave soon. “Hey gran. Surprise, I’m alive, a mouse, and made you a great grandpa. Well, you’ve always been the best grandpa, but now you have a great granddaughter.”

 

“Please do not repeat the joke Bridget, yes we all love Šárka and think she’s an adorable bean. Making the same goof twice in a row isn’t fun.” Dare piped up, before stretching and jumping into Šárka’s arms to be carried instead of clinging to her shoulders. 

 

“Party pooper.” I looked to grandpa’s grave and smiled. “I think I’ll bake bread today.” As we turned to leave, I could see some grannies walking in, and I greeted them politely. What they gave me was glares, and kissing the crosses they were wearing. “Ladies I’m a Mouse, not the antichrist. I think Australia were the ones to get him, it’s as close to hell as you can get on Earth temperature wise, especially now.” I shook my head and made my way home. 

 

International Mouse of Gadgetry @mtcmouse - 10 minutes ago

Let’s get this bread I made! Should I make a cooking side channel? I mean I know a guy who sounds like Andrew Rea from Binging with Babish

I

International Mouse of Gadgetry @mtcmouse - 10 minutes ago

Although he’d have to wear a full body hair net to cook I figure. Sorry @WreckingLionOfficial you’re soft and fuzzy and good for hugs and a great customer

I

International Mouse of Gadgetry @mtcmouse - 10 minutes ago

But you also shed like the cat you are! 

 

International Mouse of Gadgetry @mtcmouse - 5 minutes ago

Maybe I should go Flex on Mother about how to properly raise a trans daughter. But she might whack me with a bible for becoming a demon or something

I

International Mouse of Gadgetry @mtcmouse - 5 minutes ago

Nah, not gonna bother. Klára keeps her updated. If she wants to talk, she has to be the one to come to me.

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