I awoke January 10th to the smell of ham and eggs. Šárka was cooking. I stumbled out of bed and joined her in the kitchen, giving her a quick pat on the head before sitting down. “Morning sweetie, did you sleep well?”
“Surprisingly yes, considering yesterday. Classmates got pouty when you got me out of the rest of the classes.” Šárka giggled and started plating up breakfast, joining me at the table soon after. Dare leapt onto her bar stool at that moment to be around us for it.
“I hate you for letting me smell stuff but not giving me anything to digest it with.” Dare huffed and stretched, watching me and Šárka munch. There was a lovely layer of snow outside, not yet ruined by traffic. Seeing snow in January was a miracle bigger than the Emergence had been, truth be told. I helped Šárka put on her backpack and gave her a quick hug as she left for school.
Which is why it surprised me so much to hear a giggle soon after, and felt a small gust of wind fly past my ear. Turning to the source of the sound, I saw something unexpected. A person. The size of a doll, with butterfly wings and strange eyes. Giggling still. “Ugh, hey there, can I help you?” The faerie shook their head at me and flew further into my house, resting on a houseplant. I chased after them and was dumbfounded to just see them resting there. “Did you Emerge into a fairy or something?”
“Imirž? A to je co zač? Říkáte tak změnám? Pro nás je to Oprava. Ten šlofík co jsem měla skoro dva a půl tisíce let mě docela dostal.” The fairy spoke, sounding like the wind.
“Yeah Listen I only speak Czech and English not whatever slavic language you’re using there. Is that Serbian?” I sat down nearby to observe the creature, as Dare joined me on my lap, listening in.
“A, pravda, vy smrtelní jazyk měníte podle potřeby a zapomínáte staré když je nepoužíváte. Hmm. Čeština a Angličtina? No budu si věřit víc v slovanském jazyku.” They cleared their throat. “Can you understand me now?” They had begun speaking Czech.
“Yeah, now I can. What were you speaking? And how can I help you?” I gestured towards them questioningly, as they sat there for a second, thinking, before giggling.
“Oh I just needed respite from the cold. I just woke up, and my tree wasn’t where it usually is. My name is Amálka, by the way. And the language was Slavic. Very old version of it.” I held back a chuckle at her name. The Faerie Amálka, really? What is this, the evening cartoon? I grabbed my phone and snapped a picture, tweeting it.
International Mouse of Gadgetry @mtcmouse - Just now
Okay either someone Emerged into a faerie and is pulling my leg, I’m tripping, or I have a legit faerie sitting in my house on my houseplant.
I
International Mouse of Gadgetry @mtcmouse - Just now
Considering the last time I did any sort of drugs was year 2 of uni, I have to rule out tripping.
“Right, so, Amálka, did you Emerge into a faerie?” It’s not like I had to be gentle about asking it. I mean look at my head and backside. No, higher up my backside, the bit you just looked at is for girls to admire.
“Nah, I was always like this. I came into this world like this. Then suddenly we lost all magic and I had to take a nap. Somehow it’s returning now though, the leyline roots growing.” She smiled and flew from the plant towards the window. “Can you see them? Their glow reaching out from deep in the ground, waking us up.” She gestured towards nothing and I raised my eyebrows.
“Yeah I don’t see anything like that. Are you LARPing because of your form or something?” Seriously that was way too elaborate.
“No, I’m telling the truth. The Fae cannot lie. We must be truthful. Doesn’t mean we can’t take words in a different way and a different meaning, but we cannot lie.” She flew right up to my face, resting her hands against my nose and looking into my eyes. “The Fair Folk of the Forests and Hills are Waking. The Beasts of Yore are Rising from their Slumber. Soon enough, Observer of Hephaestus, The Serpents will wake. And I would not want to be in your shoes when The Serpents wake.” She flew back and I shook my head in shock.
“Right, okay, thanks for that prophecy. You mentioned your tree I think the ones in the backyard are unclaimed if you like want to move in there or something.” I walked towards a window overlooking the backyard and opened it.
“Much obliged.” She flew out and entered the largest of the trees, it’s bark looking healthier and younger than before.
I was taking a break, resting from editing the new video, having had helped Šárka with her homework. She was now playing Celeste on the Switch. 7 pm. A notification popped up on my phone, a DM from twitter.
SpeedySierra @TailedGirl: I need your urgent help please! You know someone who can open portals right? My friend Cy is about to be taken away by the police and theres nothing I can do! Its at the Talladega Nights Diner, in Elfwood Upon Hillchester, England. Please, she's my only friend.
International Mouse of Gadgetry @mtcmouse: Fuck yeah I do know someone I hope he’s available right now, fuck the police.
I quickly grabbed my phone to call Clark. “Come on Ram-bo pick up pick up someone needs your help…” He answered within seconds.
“Can it wait, I’m having lunch?”
“It cannot. Cops in England are kidnapping a lady. Talladega Nights Diner, Elfwood Upon Hillchester. Look it up. I’ll pay extra.” I tapped the table and heard a sigh.
“Do you know how difficult it is to get a reservation in this place?”
“Less talking more using your head. Bring the lady to my place afterwards.” I heard a ding to notify me of another message.
SpeedySierra @TailedGirl: Thank you! I hope they’re quick! I am forever in your debt.
International Mouse of Gadgetry @mtcmouse: His name is Clark, he has ram horns, I’m gonna bring her here.
Clark had rifted into my apartment first, took a quick breather, a couple sips of chocolate milk and got ready to open the rift to the diner. His head hit the air, cracking it, as the visuals of a kitchen with a scared looking white hair woman with a metal arm appeared. Another woman sitting next to her, both looking oddly at the rift. Clark reached his arm through and did the cheesiest thing he could have done. “Come with me if you want to live!” In a not too shabby impression of Arnie came out of his mouth. I facepalmed and groaned.
“She’s the Terminator looking one you Canadian Sheeple.” I shook my head and waited for her to make her way through. Šárka waved at the pair on the other side. I could see the white haired one look to her… date? Looked like a date. Cops fucking up a nice date, how dare they. She then looked back towards the portal.
“I guess we’re going dimension hopping or something Miura” Was what she said before she grabbed Clark’s arm, being pulled through along with I guess her date’s name is Miura. Once both tumble through Clark quickly closes the rift and falls onto the couch, Šárka handing him his glass of chocolate milk. I could see the confusion on the metal armed woman’s face as she shook herself back to her senses, before she caught a glimpse of me.
“Are you...Bridget? The mousy tech YouTuber?” She asked, and I smiled and giggled.
“Oh wow! Can’t believe I’m famous enough to be recognised by random British cyborgs whose asses I save on a friend’s request!” I stood up and held my hand out to help her up. “Yeah, Bridget Crackspanner, More Than Computer Mouse, the pink haired shark girl playing Celeste is Šárka, the dude nursing a headache is Clark.” Dare joined us in that moment, looking towards the cyborg. “And you probably know Dare if you’re a fan.”
She nodded in reply. “I sensed her before I saw her. I can kinda control machinery, your house is full of it” two antenna rose out of her head, as she pointed to the TV and turned it on.
“Oh god dammit did you have to flip it to TV Nova? The only worthwhile thing they had was Saturday morning cartoons, and they moved those to Smíchov.” I shook my head and turned the tv off with a remote. I could not be arsed with listening to private owned evening news.
“So um, thanks for rescuing us” the one I knew was named Miura spoke up, finally. Turning to the cyborg lady, she continued. “Cy do you even know how they knew you were there?” Oh my god Cy. The cyborg’s name was Cy. Cy-borg. Who came up with that? Was it her? I hoped it was her, cheesy names are the best. Cy shrugged and shook her head at the same time.
“It’s a mystery to me -” Dare started humming a meme song. The It’s A Mystery meme song, the call tone someone pranked their friend with by changing all their contacts to a ghost and It’s A Mystery as the name. “-could be anything like a witness or they followed my car.” Ah yeah this is something I could answer.
“Oh I got a DM on Twitter from a SpeedySierra, @TailedGirl. Said the cops were about to grab you and asked me to rescue you. Which reminds me.” I took out my phone and turned so as to grab a quick selfie of me, Cy and Miura in the frame. Sending to SpeedySierra.
International Mouse of Gadgetry @mtcmouse: Did I grab the right folks or did I grab completely random people?
SpeedySierra @TailedGirl: Thats them! Thank you, you’ve really confused the cops it seems. Tell Cy I’m taking the car to the bunker.
I showed my phone to Cy to let her read the messages between me and SpeedySierra. “ACAB.”
“ACAB” Šárka, Clark and Dare said in unison.
“ACAB?” Cy asks, unsure. The More Than Computer Mouse crew replied almost in unison.
“All Cops Are Bastards.” Was what me, Dare and Clark said.
“Assigned Cop At Birth.” Was what Šárka said, sticking her tongue out at us, as I walked over to her and ruffled her hair.
“Well uh. I guess I should introduce myself. I’m Cy...or Cynthia. I guess, you can call me either, and this is Miura” Cy gestured to Miura, who waved at us, nervously checking the spot where the portal was, the space completely repaired, as if a ram guy did not just ram his head through reality to make a portal.
“Nice to meet you Cynthia, Miura, sorry about your date, seemed like you were having fun before the cops arrived. What is this, 1969 at the Stonewall Inn?” I shook my head and went to grab a couple chairs from the kitchen for the pair, Šárka pausing her game and joining me with helping by turning into her shadow puddle and putting the chair right underneath Cynthia, making her sit down against her will as the chair rose from the puddle. I was much less dramatic and just put the chair down for Miura to sit on. Šárka returned to the couch and her game afterwards, giggling.
“Thats some superpower! Huh, so you can go all gooey shadow form. Clark can headbutt through space like a human Palkia and you’re like super smart Bridget” Cynthia shook her head. Oh good she’s a pokémon nerd. Šárka spoke up.
“I can specifically swim through shadows, including my own if nothing else is available, that’s the puddle. And I can do this.” She quickly shifted to her Shadow-Zora form, laughing ominously before changing back to default form. “And I control my own puberty.” Šárka smiled. I gave her a quick thumbs up.
“Right, should probably get to the bottom of this. Why were the cops after you.” I looked directly at Cy as I asked her the question. We all did. She scratched her head, looking awkward.
“I...kinda...did some bad things, some accidentally...others less so” Trying to be vague are you Cy, well this won’t work.
“I made a Collar that forces you to say the truth and if you try to lie shocks you, as well as shocking you for saying slurs. I then used this collar to blackmail Šárka’s father into transferring custody over to me.” I stood up and walked in front of Cy. “I also snuck into the Maidenburg Ruins to steal stuff there, and brought Šárka along on the second trip. How Bad are we talking here Cynthia. Theft, Murder, Arson, Unlawful but ultimately good behavior?” I grabbed her shoulders firmly. “Speak or shit letters, Woman. I do not wish to use that on you.”
She reluctantly spoke up. “On the night of the Emergence, I kinda nearly killed a cop. I woke up with antenna and this arm and I didn’t know my own strength or powers. I had nearly crashed prior and so a cop rolls up on me, clearly thinking something is up. I crashed his car” She looked away from me at that point, and I shot a quick glance towards Šárka. I could already see Dare rushing over to give cuddles. Car crashes were a very touchy subject for her, as one took away her first mom.
I rub my eyes. “Alright, Cynthia, anything else besides that?” I step back to get a full look at her. If the cops are looking for her there should probably be some file or note. I quickly took out my phone to look up her description. Oh she had one, huh? Oh, wow, okay, that’s a right old mess she had made by the look of it. Still, I wanted her to tell me, to trust me.
“No” Was her reply. Quick, sharp, dismissive, curt. I sighed, shaking my head and walking towards my workshop, looking for the Collar to prove to her I had it. But when I reached the spot where I had left it, what I found instead was a folded up piece of paper. Unfolding it, I read the contents.
Dear Miss Maidenburg, my name is Non, my Mother calls me Marie, she has kept me locked up and out of school ever since I gained powers. Your Mother, who I know as Aunt Adéla, had asked me to steal a collar from you against my will. I’m so sorry I did it, I was afraid what Mother would do had I not done so. Please, help me.
There was an address at the end of the note. I punched the table hard. “THAT GOD WORSHIPPING TRANSPHOBIA SPEWING LESBOPHOBIA DEPLOYING QUEERPHOBIC PIECE OF SHIT. THAT HEARTLESS TORMENTING BITCH. THAT UNBELIEVABLE SHITSTAIN ON MY CHILDHOOD. THAT HEART ATTACK INDUCING FATHER KILLER. MY FUCKING BIRTH GIVER ONLY FUCKING WENT AND STOLE THE GOD FORSAKEN COLLAR USING AN ABUSED TRANS KID.” I rushed back into the room, looking to Cynthia. “You’re helping me bust a kid outta Parent Jail. Šárka, look with Clark for someone who can take them. And you cannot say No, Cynthia. I saved your ass from the cops.” I was fuming. My mother was a Catholic the size of Jupiter. Her toxicity as bad as the Elephant’s Foot in Chernobyl. And she stole from me. I’d correct the kid on my name when we found them.
I was not having her shit after the Funeral.
THAT GOD WORSHIPPING TRANSPHOBIA SPEWING LESBOPHOBIA DEPLOYING QUEERPHOBIC PIECE OF SHIT. THAT HEARTLESS TORMENTING bit*h. THAT UNBELIEVABLE SHITSTAIN ON MY CHILDHOOD. THAT HEART ATTACK INDUCING FATHER KILLER. MY f*ckING BIRTH GIVER ONLY f*ckING WENT AND STOLE THE GOD FORSAKEN COLLAR USING AN ABUSED TRANS KID
impressive
What a delicious rant
"No, higher up my backside, the bit you just looked at is for girls to admire. " huhhhhh did you just indirectly misgender me? I know it wasn't on purpose but its kinda lame for a supposedly lgbt friendly story.
Anyways, love your story, apart for the minor blunder ;)