I think I have feelings for my best friend. What now?

For Kei, that question weighed heavy on his mind as he scanned website after website trying to figure out what to do about it. The knot in his stomach tightened when he read the sentence: "Realize that this will change your friendship forever." He wasn't ready for this.  He sighed, exiting out of the page and shutting his laptop before slumping into his chair. 

Even at eighteen, Kei had never spent this much time ruminating on a love interest. He had always been too preoccupied with keeping his grades high, or with rhythmic gymnastics to care about love.

"Hormones," he justified, staring at the ceiling in contemplation. "But... should I tell him?"  Kei didn't have much time to ponder that thought because the sound of the dorm room opening had him jolting up in his seat like a terrified kitten. Of course it was best friend and roommate, Akio.

"Did I scare you? I assumed you'd be sleeping by now," Akio mused, greeting his friend with a sweet smile that instantly renewed Kei's nerves.

"Um I couldn't sleep," he replied, trying to hide his nerves.

"Then why didn't I see you on the spring floor?" Akio scolded in a manner of playfulness.  "I was practicing dance sequences with Yuuta."

"Didn't think I needed to."

"Ooo, Mr. Confident~," Akio sang before walking over to his bed while stripping off his gym shirt and shorts. "I'm gonna go hop in the shower." With that, he wrapped a towel around his slender waist, grabbed his toiletries and hit the showers.

As soon as Akio left the room, Kei could feel himself relax. "Fuck," he muttered with a disbelieving smile. This was crazy. Am I gay? The thought had never crossed his mind before, but the feelings that he had begun to develop for Akio said otherwise. But maybe he was straight and Akio was an exception. After all, he did look fairly girlish with his long hair and feminine dancer type physique. Kei sighed again when he considered the fact that this wasn't just physical. As much as he was captivated by Akio's androgenous physical features, he found himself falling for the little things. Like how adorable and grumpy he was in the morning, his obsession with classical music, and the cute heart shaped smile he'd sport whenever he was excited. But most of all he fell in love with the way Akio looked when he performed. His features lit up on the gymnasium floor, dancing and tumbling with unmatched beauty.  

When Akio returned, he frowned seeing that Kei was sitting in the same spot he'd left him. He quirked an eyebrow and asked, "Have you been sitting there doing nothing this entire time?"

Kei considered his words. "I was lost in thought, I guess."

"You're not worried about tomorrow are you? I know it's our first year in university level team gymnastics but as long as we do as well as we do in practice we'll be fine. Besides, you looked amazing today. Your triple back has really improved."

"Spoken like a true team captain."

Akio smiled as a response and then spun around to go through his wardrobe. After he found his night clothes, he pushed his towel down his hips, letting it fall to the ground. Kei instantly felt butterflies in his belly. He bit his lip as he felt his body starting to react, but instead of gawking at Akio's nudity like a pervert, his eyes fixated on the towel until Akio was fully dressed.

"Coming to bed?" Akio inquired, putting the discarded towel into the hamper and then pulling his half dried hair into a messy bun at the top of his head.

I'd love to come to bed with you, Kei thought to himself, holding back a grin. "Yeah, It's about that time, isn't it."He got up from where he was seated, cut out the lights, turned on their silly little star projector and quickly made his way up to the top bunk of their shared bunk bed. "Night Akio."

"Night Kei. You're going to be perfect tomorrow."

"Of course."

"You cocky bastard. You're supposed to give me a humble response," Akio teased.  "Being cocky will give us bad juju for the competition tomorrow." 

Kei sighed affectionately. "You're the one who said I'd be perfect. I simply confirmed it for you.  And who says bad juju?" He smiled fondly, imagining the twisted face Akio probably had on his beautiful features.

"I do! Obviously," Akio retorted, sporting the cute pout that Kei was imagining. "Anyways, goodnight."

"Night," Kei said quietly.

At least forty minutes had gone by with Kei staring blankly at the star projections on the ceiling. Kei let out a huff of frustration. What the hell was he going to do about these intrusive thoughts?

"You're still awake," Akio said from the bottom bunk. "What are you huffing about?"

Kei bit his bottom lip. He figured he'd brave the waters a little bit to see what kind of response he'd get. "Akio, I'm bisexual... I think." Things went quiet. Too quiet. So in an attempt to kill the awkward silence Kei added, "Sorry, maybe I shouldn't have--" 

"No no, I just want to say the right thing. Does your dad know?"

"No, I haven't told anyone but you," Kei confided, taking in a shaky breath. Next thing he knew Akio was climbing into his bed, poking him lightly in the side to get him to make space.

Akio stretched out beside him. "Turn to your side, I wanna spoon you." 

Kei let out a nervous laugh in response but did as he was told. He felt Akio's warmth along his body and his arms wrap around his waist in a tight embrace. 

"I know how you feel about talking about feelings," Akio whispered into Kei's ear. "But if there's anything at all you want to say about it, I'm listening." 

Statements like that were what kept Kei under Akio's spell. He loved to tease, and often he'd shower him in sweet platonic affection and attentiveness and it was so frustrating for Kei, yet intoxicating all at the same time.

"Ahh... um," Kei quivered. "Th-thanks."

"This might not be the advice you want... but I think you should explore it. Stop being so prudish and let your sexuality flourish. I mean, unless you want to stay a virgin forever."

Kei nearly choked on air. "I-I'm not a fucking prude Akio..." 

"Oh please," Akio chuckled. "I've never seen you once accept an offer thrown at you by women."

"I'm not looking for meaningless flings..."

"Mm, I get that. All I'm suggesting is that you be more open. I wasn't sure that I was gay until I made love to a guy. Everything just clicked for me in that moment, and I knew."

"Thanks for the advice, Akio."

"Anytime, best friend," Akio smiled, gently smoothing back Kei's silky black hair. "Thanks for telling me."

After that was said, it didn't take long before Akio successfully fell asleep with his body comfortably pressed up against his roommate's back.

Kei, on the other hand, had too many thoughts running through his mind to let sleep have it's way with him. The most prominent thought was Akio's positive response. It made him feel hopeful that a confession would give him peace. His mind was set. Tomorrow he'd tell Akio how he really felt.