“So let me get this straight. You woke up happily as a girl, have envied specifically Roni’s girlness for years, want to be referred to with female pronouns and with a name you consider a better fit for you, but you’re not trans. That right?” I could hear the rising frustration in my friend Griff’s voice. I knew I must have been missing something, they sounded like whatever I wasn’t seeing was the most obvious thing in the world. 

I tried responding with just as much confidence as Gruff seemed to think I needed. “Uh, yeah? I can’t be trans, that wouldn’t make sense.” Sadly, my response was a twofold failure. I didn’t sound confident in my answer, and Griff stormed out of my room as soon as they heard me, with the last word I heard sounding something like ‘ostrich’. Why were ostriches relevant?

Griff had come to visit the morning following my return home. It was luckily a Thursday when I was released, so I had three days to spend time with friends and catch up on most of my homework. Well, at least three. Mum was convinced I’d be returning to school once Monday came around, but Mom thought I might need a little more time to adjust. I really didn’t want to go since I had to go back to being him by Thursday, and it would only confuse the school.

Griff was supposed to help me with any homework problems I had, but A. They were way too caught up on my magic gender transformation, and B. I wasn’t struggling with the work anyway. I had been several weeks ahead of my classes in the studies before my coma, so really I just needed quick refreshers to catch up. 

Lana let herself into my room just a minute or two after Griff left, and I was reminded of how thankful I was supposed to be for my family. Mom told everyone about what happened when she had left me alone for too long, so now everyone was almost overbearing with how little they left me alone. I knew I needed it, the few times I was left alone proved that, but I wished there was some sort of middle ground. 

“So… have you done it yet?” Lana tried her best to break the ice with the same question she’d asked me twice since Veronica gave me a much more full wardrobe than I’d expected. Instead of just updating a few basic outfits and underwear she went all out, turning almost all of my old clothes into better fitting variants. Even my school uniforms had been changed to the version with a skirt that Griff and Lexi tended to wear. I had options, now, and my sister was curious for an obvious and kind of infuriating reason.

“No, I have not done ‘The Twirl’ yet. Why? You make another bet about my personal life? Am I going to eventually say yes only for you to run downstairs and tell Rissa she has to do your chores for a month?” I didn’t want to confront her on this now, especially since she was helping me by staying in the room with me, but I didn’t want to hold these emotions in anymore. I felt a little ungrateful, but after learning that my sisters opted to place a bet on what was wrong with me instead of talking to me before the spell I decided I deserved a little spite.

Side note, I might have been lying when I told her I hadn’t twirled around in a skirt. My legs felt much better and Andrew, who slept in my room for the night, had been unconscious on the floor. While he slept I took the opportunity to try out one or two of the skirts and dresses Veronica made for me. I did twirl, once or twice. Or until I got dizzy and lost count. 

Still, Rissa and Lana didn’t deserve to know that. Not until I wasn’t upset with them anymore.

If Lana was upset by my outburst she didn’t show it. She silently browsed her phone until Griff returned, and left without a word. Guilt rose up inside of me for a moment, threatening to take control before I forced it down. I would not feel guilty for being upset at being made a plaything. 

Griff must have been genuinely upset by my response, as they focused entirely on catching me up on schoolwork. I still didn’t get what was going on. It was like everyone from Magic to Griff was dancing around a specific puzzle piece that could make everything in my head fit, yet they all refused to fit the piece in themselves. If it was so important that I know this mysterious thing, why was nobody communicating with me? 

Confusion regarding mysterious behaviors aside, the studying was incredibly useful. With Griff’s help I was entirely finished with my mathematics, magic theory, and history homework. Sure I still needed to finish an essay and some book reading in my literature class, but that was three hours of work with more than enough time to do it. They quietly left just after sunset, escorted home by my Mum. 

I opted to lounge in the living room in a blanket and pajamas once they were gone. Mostly so I could hear Mom’s singing and smell whatever it was she was cooking, but in small part so I could show off my Dreadnought themed pajamas once Veronica made it downstairs. It was her favorite book, and when I was ten she gave me her copy to read. It quickly became my favorite, too, with a main character who was just so relatable. Plus it had a super cool bi cowgirl superhero, and it felt really nice to be represented like that. 

Mum was late getting home, so Mom took her sweet time getting everything ready for us. She was apparently trying to outdo Mum’s grandmother’s cooking with some sort of Persian stew I couldn’t pronounce. I was nervous, mostly because it was outside of Mom’s comfort zone and food she wasn’t used to making was usually not great, but it smelled nice.

“Sam could you set the table, please? Dinner’s almost done.” I should’ve expected that. Usually the kid closest to her at any given moment was recruited to help. It was the price paid for hearing her sing and smelling the food up close. Though I would do anything for her if she kept calling me Sam. 

I left the warmth of my blanket to clean up the dining room table before grabbing the plates. For not the first time I wished we had self cleaning runes carved into our stuff, but the process to do that was apparently painfully expensive. Plus, in Mum’s words, ‘Too much magic makes people lazy.’. 

As soon as I finished setting up Mom called everyone down, and one by one my siblings descended the stairs. Veronica was first, and I was so glad to see the smile on her face as she caught what I was wearing. I knew she knew I had the pair — she altered it, after all — but she must not have expected me to wear them so soon. 

She was quickly followed by Andrew, who looked like he had just finished an intense game of some sort. He gave a tired wave to us all before taking a seat. Rissa and Lana were last, and neither would meet my eyes. I didn’t know if it was anger or shame that kept them from looking at me, but the ugly feeling in my gut told me which one I should have felt.

Dinner was surprisingly decent tasting. It was some sort of vegetable and chicken stew with a variety of spices mixed in. It wasn’t good or bad, but for Mom that was a huge step up from the usual occurrence when new recipes were tried. The surprised look I caught on Andrew’s face told me I wasn’t alone in my concerns. 

Mum finally got home as we were starting to put away dishes, and her face told a story I knew nobody would want me to hear. I kept the water loudly running as I washed the plates to give them a chance to talk. I was curious about what happened, sure, but I was used to being kept out of the loop. Being the youngest of the family had several fun benefits, but more often than not it just meant being kept out of the loop for topics the rest of the family could discuss freely.

I intentionally took longer than usual to finish cleaning up, and thankfully the timing worked out. Mum stepped out of the living room to take a shower just as I finished up. From the looks on everyone’s faces it was some incredibly serious topic, one I was not invited to ask about. Instead of barging in where I wasn’t welcome, I headed up the stairs to my room, ignoring the ache in my legs.

I prepared myself for the upcoming cold and fear that would come from isolating myself. I expected it, and hoped I could pass out before it got too unbearable.

What I didn’t expect was a young woman dressed like modern day nobility to be sitting on my bed. 

“Alright, so I’m told I messed up a tiny bit. Sorry about that. How can I help?”