This story was born from a joke between me and my friends that a modern Isekai protagonist would make for a better villain than a hero. Of course, I was only half joking as I do believe that Isekai stories aren't living up to their full potential because of the protagonist's blank-slate nature. Many of them are created in service of some kind of power fantasy, which are the bane of my existence when it comes to story-telling. There's nothing wrong with power fantasy in and of itself as stories are ultimately escapist in nature, but when paired with a character who is defined by his cool, totally broken powers; or by how many girls he can pull, rather than who he is as a person, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
Everything about this story is meant to counter the tropes which holds the Isekai genre back in my opinion. While the story is a comedy at the end of the day, the darker nature of some of these tropes--such as inherent tragedy of the Harem Girls--bring the story into serious and even dark territory. I'm happy to let it evolve past a silly parody, and I think it already has. Gertrude is probably the most tragic character of the bunch as I've teased with her backstory, followed closely by Heide, which reflects in their level of mind control. The deeper their emotional dependence, the deeper they fall under the Hero's charisma spell. So, that tells you a lot about Silva and Lina, too.
Speaking of, I love this main cast! It took me a bit to find each of their voices, but their dynamic makes it a blast to write. Anno is the smartest idiot I've ever written. And that ego makes for a fun flaw to overcome. I had to strike the balance between competence and punishment for his arrogance to keep him likable without underselling his value as a protagonist. His party really helps with keeping him in check, Lina in particular. Unfortunately, I can't talk too much about the others for spoiler reasons, but I'll be sure to talk about them when we get there.
Thanks for reading thus far! I hope you've had as much reading this as I have writing this, and there's plenty more to come. I just need to sit down and write! Though it may be a bit before I start part two as I am also writing and editing my other work on this site, Fragmented Blade. But summer's almost here, and I'll have plenty of time to do both. In the meantime, enjoy a few extras coming down the pike, including a bonus chapter about when the Hero first appeared in Anno's world and various stat charts/profile for the characters.
If you have any suggestions about what you want to see as an extra--including art, behind the scenes, comics, or whatever--comment below. And, of course, if you have feedback on the story so far, I'm more than happy to take it. I'll be redrafting part one at some point, so all criticism is welcome! Until next time!
Oh, also, just to finally complain to someone about it!
I disagree that stories are about escapism. Almost none of my reading is done because I want to get away from stuff (especially now that I'm an adult, lol). Like, maybe someone would read a Jane Austin novel because they wish they were a member of the English Gentry, but to me their lives sound restrictive and stressful. I love reading her stories though because it's like pure, concentrated humanity.
Reading a good book is like concentrating a whole extra year of life into a few days. Plus, it's a lot of fun to read something written hundreds of years ago and to see that people are just the same as they always were. It's surprising how often you can meet characters from stories out here in real life.
Anyway, that wasn't important, or anything, I've just been thinking that for a while, and this felt like a fine time to share it. Whatever, peace out, write on!
That's a really good take! I love discussions like this! I'm the same way when I read something, where I read for character and human study rather than any wish fulfillment. I was just thinking broadly for why people enjoy wish fulfillment stories and escapism was to be the most plausible. And I still stand by nothing being wrong with it as long as the reader is able to separate the fantasy from reality. Just because I don't like power fantasies and self-insert characters, does not make them bad. It's about the execution.
I guess it depends what the reader is looking for in a story. Anything can be a comfort story if that person resonates with it in a certain way. Slashers are an escapist story because certain audience members enjoy the creative kills committed by a supernatural/supernatural-eque killer. But others may be turned off by the violence and horror aspects.
Everybody has at least one story they return to for comfort and escaping stress. I love figuring out what a person's comfort story is. For me, it's shows like Bob's Burgers or any of the Pokémon anime because of the low stakes character interactions.
But I also love reading older stories, too, because I also like to read the perspective of people centuries ago to learn that they understood human in a way we modern people don't think about anymore. I'd say sometimes they understand human nature better because their suffering was harder to avoid than ours is. There was little to no escape for them, but they still had stories in which to try.
Those are my two cents on the matter.
@DJ_Rhaposdy I must have reread the whole Calvin and Hobbes collection hundreds of times when I was a kid, followed closely by The Fantastic Mr. Fox (I still love stories about hidden societies living underground, lol), and my children's illustrated bible. I didn't actually start reading real books until I was a teenager (Ender's Game, in fact, was my first).
Woo! Thanks for writing thus far!
I wish I had some banger criticisms for you, to help this story get even better. I mean, yeah, there's always room for improvement, but it delivers on its premise very well. In terms of broad faults, nothing comes to mind. You have a good number of characters, and nothing ever dragged on.
I suppose the most I can think of is to put as much into the girl's characters as you can. Like, each of the four girls are their own archetypes and, oh, maybe what you can try to focus on is making their "cliche" their fault? Like, being too imbalanced is what let's the "hero" exploit them (as you implied earlier), so maybe overcoming that shallowness is what can help set them free?
Something like that. Basically, give each girl a well defined character arc, and them weave them together into the final narrative. That might be more of a second draft thing, after you've mapped out everywhere you want the story to go, but a true character driven isekai story would be grand. I've seen only a few even attempt it, and I've liked every one (including this one :D).
Anyway, I've probably gushed enough, though I will say I like your art, it has a lot of character, so if you feel at all inspired to draw something, I say go for it!
Anyway anyway, Fight On!
Thanks for the support! Yeah, the girls are one of the aspects I'll be tweaking in the second draft. Since their personalities weren't defined when I started, their dialogue can fall on the generic side on occasion, especially in the prologue chapter. I'll probably present them as their archetype, but hint toward their deeper personalities through actions and dialogue. Also, Lina needs to be more conflicted about learning about the Hero's true nature, she needs to stay in denial a bit longer until the evidence is undeniable, and then be sad about it. That would go a long way in fleshing her out.
There are a lot of little moments that can be tweaked to make the story shine a lot brighter with every character and setting. I have most of the character arcs established, so it's just a matter of keeping the pacing as tight but with a more character moments sprinkled throughout.
As for art, I'll probably add more scene art for the other two girls. Gertrude and Silva have ones, so I should make ones for Lina and Heide. I'll probably make a small gallery of all the art I have for this series. I've been trying to add them to a glossary, but so far, it hasn't been successful.