Chapter 105: Home

(“ You are unable to generate mana ”)

What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!

There were two ways this conversation could go. Option one, Espr was just fucking with me. I kind of hoped that was happening, but I had a strong suspicion that was not the case. Option two: something was seriously wrong. 

(“Well, your soul was damaged ”)

And that happened before.

The joking end to this conversation would be, ‘Oh, you can’t generate mana because you are already full!’ My current bloated capacity would hold true for that, but I had a feeling that would be good to be true. 

Argh… I groaned. Come on, just tell me. Don’t just say soul damage; what are the consequences?

(“ Okay. As mentioned, you are unable to generate mana at all, this includes once your mana goes back to normal levels. Now for consequences, not being able to generate mana is a consequence of its own ”)

But I still have access to Starlight.

(“ Correct ”)

Haha, feels good to have one up on you. All those times you told me Starlight was useless, and now it is my saving grace. 

(“ It is useless ”)

Really?

(“ Just because it had a ‘use’ for you doesn’t mean it's not useless ”)

No, that means it was indeed not useless. You just don’t want to admit you are wrong.

I was trying to find a silver lining, and being able to laugh while not enough was able to alleviate the pain for a moment.

(“ Sigh, anyway, there are other issues. Going on the previous point, this means using any of your skills will be unrecoverable. However, there are also the everyday mana costs, these are so small that they are barely even accounted for in anyone’s mana use, but you will face the consequences of those now ”)

I can seal off my mana.

It was just a form of mana control to keep mana from leaving the body or being used up, not a particularly useful ability as it could leave a person weakened but was useful for hiding. 

(“ Nope, as your injured soul will also leak mana, albeit rather slowly, and this injury will also prevent you from properly sealing off your mana. How are you supposed to seal a jar when there is a hole in the roof and wide cracks all over the glass? ”)

Yeah, yeah. I get it. The situation is pretty fucked. Anything else?

(“ Upon reaching 0% of your total mana in your current state would be the equivalent of [Primal Guardian Lord] surpassing your current level ”)

You fucker, you could’ve started with that.

(“ I was simply saving the least impactful change to last. As a positive, once that happens, some repairs will be done, which should fix your condition to a reasonable state ”)

And you can’t do those fixes now?

I really didn’t want a healing opportunity to be dangled on a bloody stick. 

(“ No, and I know what you are thinking, no. I can’t help you in your current state. If I tried to, the progress of [Primal Guardian Lord] would overtake your current level. I’m not keeping this help behind a paywall, but simply that I can’t help your condition improve until you lose our deal ”)

Argh… of course. 

I did understand what Espr was saying, but that didn’t mean I was happy about it. [Primal Guardian Lord] did a lot to improve my body, and by surpassing my current level… well, I wasn’t exactly sure what was going to happen. Espr said some things that may or may not be true, and I had my theories. But at least my Vocation would be replaced with [Primal Guardian Lord], which seemed the most likely. IF that happened, then its effect would likely be strengthened, which would create a stronger body for me, which could be part of Espr’s solution. The other part was the soul tumour that the skill was. That infection was a part of Espr and if that took over, well, I guess Espr would own my soul. Not a fun thought to think about for me, but I could see that by having control of it, Espr would have the power to properly heal it. Because I knew very little about souls, much more than the average person, but that was more with how one could use their soul, but when it came to healing souls? I could only assume the process was a lot more complicated than healing a body part.

The fact I still had the soul pain from the fight on Juptar was proof enough that I didn’t have enough understanding of how to heal souls; otherwise, I would’ve helped myself all the way back then. Even Espr, if they could, would’ve tried to fix that for me I liked to believe.

Can I at least drink mana potions or take mana crystals?

(“ Yes ”)

Is there a problem I should be informed of before using those options as a permanent temporary solution?

If I could use those consumables as alternatives, then I didn’t see too much of a problem. I mean, the problem was massive; no questions about that, but it could go from one that had no solution to at least an eh solution. Which was what I needed. Saying that the financial cost was likely going to be awful. 

(“ Well, they would be less effective for your current state, your body can’t process mana too well, so any junk mana gained from those sources, which would normally leave your body because of harmfulness, won’t be able to ”)

I will pretend that I knew that junk mana was a thing and ask, Can I just remove that manually? 

(“ High chance you will lose some of your own mana in the process, but it is possible that eventually you are skilled enough to keep the mana gain as a net-positive ”)

Something I will have to experiment with.

(“ Not giving up? ”)

Of course not.

I needed to find a way to gain mana, maybe an item like what I used before could work. I could’ve asked Nina, but while I wanted to get closer to her, going on the way spilling everything was too much. Maybe after some more time had passed.

“Well, I have a lot of time to think about it.” I looked outside the window at the stars in the ocean of space. “How long do I have for my mana to reach zero if I do nothing?”

(“ Nothing? About six months, but that is doing literally nothing. A more realistic nothing is about three months ”)

Literally, as doing literally nothing at all?

(“ Yes ”)

Gotcha…

My situation was far from good, but I was determined to figure out a way.

I had to figure out something.

I needed to.

I removed the blue energetic crystal ball from a compartment in my armour on the ground.

The ship left the station, and we soon went through the transport tunnel. I chose to use one of the pods to deal with the effects of the movement because, while I would be normal alright, I had enough physical concerns at the moment. 

It would take a week for us to reach Metous thanks to Nina using her resources to accelerate a lot of processes that I was glad I didn’t have to deal with since my working days. Otherwise, getting home would take nearly three weeks. 

Nina returned after a long rest on her part, and we chatted for a bit. About a few different things. I learned more about her and her history. Not every day you get to ask a famous elusive person about themselves, and she was pretty honest and didn’t hold much back besides what she wanted to leave private, which was fair.

I did the same. I talked about my family, my work, and a bit about being stuck in space for the past year. Her knowing that I was involved with the Juptar incident made the whole conversation so much easier. 

Then came the obvious question. “Why do you have horns growing out of your head?”

“A side effect of skill,” I said, which was correct.

“I see.” Nina closed her eyes and nodded. “I’ll wait for your reunion before attempting to help with that.” 

Some skills had side effects, but growing extra stuff wasn’t normally part of them, so I was surprised that Nina seemingly accepted my reasoning. However, the fact she mentioned dealing with it left a weird feeling in my stomach.

Outside of that, we didn’t talk much about important topics; every time I tried, Nina said to rest first. I get her reasoning, but this was the perfect one-on-one time, but from the crumbs I picked in our conversation, she would be staying around my family for a while longer.

Then the ship finally returned to Metous.

“What a view,” said Nina.

“I’d say the view behind us is better.”

“You really enjoy gazing at the stars, don’t you?”

“Of course.”

Nina asked, “Any reason why?”

“Non-specific. I do have good memories of doing it with my dad, but it is not because of those memories that I keep doing it. I just simply enjoy the art that is space and, more importantly, the stars.”

“With words like that, I’m not surprised you are [Fire Mage]. Your mum showed me videos of you making stars with fire as a kid.”

“That is very embarrassing that she showed you those…” And kid? I was a teenager, but still embarrassing that my mum would show those videos off to anyone. 

“Though I would’ve guessed maybe you would’ve picked a [Light Mage] or [Sun Mage].”

“Actually, my Vocation is none of those three.”

“Huh?” Nina turned her head confused; she wanted to ask a question, but I stopped her. 

That question for Nina would have to wait for later. Just a small bit of revenge on my part because now I had to see my family first.

Bobple

Good news I am getting better. Turns out I had a really bad throat infection, and turns out I had for it a lot longer than I originally thought.

Anyway, chapter time!