
Chapter 8: Preparing To Hunt
Eating was weird. I had this thought after living with my family again for over a week now and needing to tell Tyell to not worry about cooking breakfast, and mom about dinner.
After five years of being stuck on Espoiramissa the amount of food I needed dramatically decreased as time progressed.
I still needed to eat but the amount was substantially less. The reason for this was twofold.
Mana. Having a lot of stored within one’s soul and body acted as a substitute for many of the body's energy requirements. Still, it was impossible to completely remove the need to eat unless you received a skill for it. Secondly was the environment. This was no longer a factor while being on Metous and Lestant station, but was relevant on Espoiramissa. Mana-heavy environments–meaning almost always dungeon–also made the need to eat reduced.
This was one of the reasons when Dungeons did appear on moons or asteroids, the assault team could stay within for days without issues.
Sleep requirements were also reduced similarly to eating, but not exactly. Having more mana and being in highly mana-dense environments only made it so one could function with less sleep for a while. On Espoiramissa before I had [Sleepless Nights], I could sleep for three hours every day but after two weeks of doing that, my body crashed. Even though the day before the crash.
Anyway, today was the day I planned to become active, I was going to become a hunter.
Hunters simply put were people who hunted monsters for money and it was a difficult occupation. Not due to the physical effort involved but the transport and low income.
There were already many companies that collected the sought after materials, and the the average independent agent depending on where they lived, couldn't afford to do the work.
People either chose to live near or on dungeon-infested moons to hunt or lived on planets and teleported there. The former was much cheaper but even that required hunters to sink a chunk of money into the setup. The only way for an independent team to make enough money was to hunt an extreme amount of monsters or extremely dangerous ones.
I didn’t care about making a profit but I would be making one with my skill level.
“Okay, let's go [Star Mapping].” I Activated my skill, pouring twenty percent of Starlight into it. I wanted to save my mana for later.
A wave of pressure entered my mind and a tide of information came in. [Star Mapping] other effect allowed me to see everything within a certain radius depending on how much mana I used. This first time I’d used it in a city so I wasn’t prepared for all the excessive details.
Haaa. Glad I didn’t first use this in a stressful situation.
The actual location of the hunter guilds in the city was difficult to track down. The government didn’t particularly want people to risk their lives fighting. But I knew the general location of them.
One good thing about that lack of support meant that one had more freedom when interacting with it.
The main guild in the city I couldn’t use because I still didn’t have a proper ID yet, due to it being delayed. But there was another slightly more loose option.
Yep, this is it. Hungry Wolves Hunting Guild.
Underground in an alley, it was difficult to track down even with [Star Mapping] but I knew of the landmarks that surrounded the entrances.
I entered the building. Dark and cold, they really needed to hire a better interior designer.
A few tables on both sides of the room, a counter, and a door leading to the teleportation room. The building was extremely small but that was comfortable in its own way.
As I walked to the counter, “Can I have your ID?” asked the lone receptionist at the counter.
“Don’t have one, either of them” I replied, which returned a strange look from the lady. “Can you provide me a licence?”
“Do you know what you're asking right?”
Was this illegal? Technically no. But it was a heavily grey area and one could easily enter illegal territory by faking your identity too hard. A few really old laws gave hunters a lot of ‘freedom’ when it came to their identity. Funny enough this had more to do with the safety of the citizens. As some people long ago had died when harassing high levelled individuals–usually hunters.
“Yeah?”
I felt pressure being released by the women at the counter. Doesn’t feel like Soul Pressure. Must be a skill.
“Haaaaa…” Giving her a dead-eyed stare, “No funny business, I’m here to do work.”
“Okay,” I heard her mumble a ‘few’.
“It is going to cost you,” she gestured to the counter.
“I know,” I had already brought some RMC (Ruby Mana Crystal) which I placed on the table. All mana crystals were extremely valuable and damaging them greatly lowered their worth, so they made good untrackable trading. “Keep the change, they are a pain to carry.” I was only slightly over anyway.
“Your loss.” The crystal disappeared off the counter. “Wait five minutes.” The lady walked off into the backroom.
I just stood there waiting, the place was mostly empty. A few individuals were seated at the tables eating. Probably just hanging out as it was an off day.
Soon the lady came back, “Last thing do you have the mana to pay for the portal cost?”
Teleportation science’s great unachieved dream. Out of the skills and mana uses researchers have tried to duplicate with technology the most sort after was teleportation. But even after two thousand years none had succeeded and many gave up.
With the immense mana cost and toll on the body most spacial mages could only cast long-distance teleportation a couple of times a day–requires many mana recovery items to support them. And the maximum length of ‘long-distance’ meant moons near a planet.
Teleportation was also restricted on planets. Making it harder to teleport anywhere, only a few locations specifically designed would allow teleporting to work. After coming back onto Metous I could feel it was the same pressure that prevented Vocations from being chosen.
“I’m a J3 Soul Rank, mage Vocation.”
“Sure you are. Here’s your card.” She tossed the mostly empty black card into my hand. “You can apply the information yourself. Any mistakes will only affect you.”
“Thanks.”
Honestly didn’t expect the process to be this fast.
I applied my mana into the card. Which allowed me to edit the required fields, this could only be done once which was slightly annoying but it was a semi-fake card anyway.
The only difference between this and a normal card was that a normal one would be connected to my identification and I would be allowed to get it updated for free once a month.
I should buy a second card later.
The hunter card was a complicated piece of shit, that only reacted to the mana of its first user. So stealing someone else's wasn’t worth it. The cards also had some effect attached to them. I used one of those inbuilt effects, shrinking it into a centimetre square and sticking it near my elbow.
“The next portal use is four days from now I would recommend you get yourself a team before then.”
“Hmmm… Yeah, I might need a Carrier.”
The whole discussion I had was audible to everyone in the open lounge of the building.
“Hehehe,” I could hear the person on the far leftist table start to laugh, “It’s my time to shine.”
He stood and walked over and introduce himself. “I’m Lion Songfield. Descendant of Albaz Songfield, whose heroic actions were rewarded with his initials being used to forever mark our new age!”
Who the fuck is this idiot?
In the background of Lion’s declaration, sitting down at the tables. People quietly mumbled away.
“I thought it was just AS–After Shift?”
“Idiot, it is named Arthur Shin. Not his fifth-best teammate.”
The others only cared about arguing about the correct terminology.
“And?”
“We should team up!”
“I’m assuming he is unable to form a team himself?” I turned to the lone receptionist.
“I can hear–”
“Kind of? Jacob works with him… Cause the boss ask him to.” Wow, how pitiable.
“He just accepted my cha–”
“Is Jacob a Carrier?” I asked cause every team needed at least one Carrier, and ‘tiger?’ boy definitely wasn’t one.
“Yes.”
“Can you send a message,” I asked, “I’ll pay him 50% of monster materials after deductions to work with me for this first job?”
“Your joking right?” Wide-eyed she questioned my sanity.
“Nope, I just want to have the least amount of hassle on my first run.”
The lady laughed, “Confident, ain’t yeah.”
“Yes, a beautiful display of confidence which is wh–”
“Kind of,” I replied.
“Okay I’ll do that, but I will be fining you if you don’t show up on the day.” She pulled out her purple phone.
“Fine by me.”
With everything then I left the building ignoring ‘cat?’, whatever the person’s name was and proceed with my next task. Getting a phone.
I’m glad that was easy.
As Ceella left the Hungry Wolves Hunting Guild the receptionist sighed in relief.
“Thank god, doesn’t seem like she is one to blow her top off.”
“Ketty why didn’t you help me get a teammate!” yelled Lion.
“Cause teammates shouldn't be extremely different in strength, with the only possible exception being Carriers.” She took a sip of her purple drink, “And you're annoying.”
“So what are your thoughts small chief?” An orange-haired old lady yelled out.
“Come tell us!” Followed by a younger man.
Ketty sighed, before angrily biting back, “You idiots could’ve talked to her when I was gone!”
“““Nah!””” The six people in the building–besides Lion– yelled out, two girls, and three boys. Wearing casual clothing but all were carrying either a backpack or suitcase with the hunting gear if an emergency popped up.
“So how strong was she?”, the youngest member at nineteen asked.
“Stronger than all you idiots.” Ketty took another sip. Her skillset allowed to judge people and she also could squash people into the ground but that was less relevant for her current job.
“What?” The bald girl wearing a grand racing t-shirt yelled out, “Even granny Petly!”
“DON’T CALL ME GRANNY YOU BRAT!!” The orange-haired lady slapped the youngin across the face.
“GROW UP YOU TWO, I DON’T WANT THE POLICE HERE AGAIN!!” She yelled before signing again.
“Well… Petly should have surpassed her in level no doubt but..” She tapped her fingers on the table, “If I had to choose, I would rather fight Pelty.”
One of them yelled, “You would rather fight Raging Fist Petly?!”
“Well then we are lucky she has a reasonable personality, not many can deal with Lion’s… himness.” Another replied.
“What’s that supposed to mean?!” Lion yelled but was ignored, everyone found this was the best way to deal with him when he was high on his self-esteem.
One of the crew who hadn’t spoken–besides the cheers–began mumbling, “So she strong, reasonable personality…” before announcing “Meaning next hunt gone to be great!”
“““Yeah!””” Everyone cheered again.
“Unless one of the many possible events occurs which can endanger everyone on the job,” said Ketty.
“Stop trying to ruin the mood!” Yelled Petly.
but I will be fine you if you don’t show
I will be fining you...
“And your annoying.”
you're
and she also could squash people in the ground
into
tftc
Yay.
Man I'm really stupid. I wanted over this chapter thrice in editing before I posted it. But while doing chapter 10, I go back to this chapter cause same characters appear, and I now find multiple spelling errors
You need a proof reader. To many mistakes where either words are used wrong or the wrong words are used.
After five years of being stuck on Espoiramissa the amount of food I need dramatically decreased as time progressed.
need -> needed
Mana-heavy environments–so nearly exclusively dungeons–also made the need to eat reduced.
so nearly exclusively dungeons -> meaning almost always dungeons
This was one of the reasons when Dungeons did appear on moons or asteroids, the assault team could say within for days without issues.
say -> stay
Sleep requirements were also reduced similarly to eating, but not exactly. Having more mana and being highly mana-dense environments only made it so one could work with less sleep for a while.
being highly -> being in highly
could work -> could function
Even though before the day crash I felt perfectly fine.
Even though before the day crash -> Even though the day before the crash
Anyway, today was the day I planned to get into action. I was going to become a hunter.
get into action. I -> get active, I
Hunters simply put were people who hunted monsters for money and it was a difficult occupation. Not for the physical effort involved but the transport and low income.
Not for -> Not due to
There were already many companies that collected the sort-after materials, and the average independent agents couldn’t afford to keep the work up depending on where they lived.
sort-after -> sought after
the average independent agents ->the average independent agent
couldn't afford to keep the work up depending on where they lived->, depending on where they lived, couldn't afford to do the work.
The former was much cheaper but required the individuals to already sink a chunk of money into the setup
The former was much cheaper but even that required hunters to sink a chunk of money into the setup
The only way for an independent team to make enough money was to hunt an excess amount of monsters or extremely dangerous ones.
excess -> extreme
Didn’t care about making a profit but I would be making one with my skill level.
Didn't care -> I didn't care
“Okay, let's go [Star Mapping].” Activating my skill, pouring twenty percent of Starlight into it. I wanted to save my mana for later.
Activating my skill-> , I activated my skill
I could go on but I've basically partially rewritten or corrected every single line from the start. I do hope that that gets the point across I made at the start; You desperately need a proofreader/editor. If you can't find one try Grammarly or one of their competitors (ProWritingAid and WordTune are as good), though you might need the paid/subscription version (prices are around $10/month) instead of the free tier they offer if you want to substitute a program for a proofreader/editor.
So sorry that I'm that person but I like the premise and things the first few chapters have hinted at enough that I was willing to pen this comment.
@ThatGuyOverThere I really appreciate it. Thank you for this, and enjoying the story enough to pen the comment.
I've been trying to find a consistent proof reader, but that hasn't gone to well yet.
Currently using (Free) Grammarly and Basic Doc check (Write the chapter in Grammarly, do a pass over the whole thing. Switch to Doc and do another pass).
I've been wanting to get a paid version of a software, but I haven't had to available funds yet.
How! Am I so bad at noticing some of these. I read my chapters out to myself but... haaa. I really need to find a proof reader.
[Update] just made those changes... haaaaaa
@ThatGuyOverThere "I could go on but I've basically partially rewritten or corrected every single line from the start. I do hope that that gets the point across I made at the start;" ... yeah, by correcting a lot of valid phrasing. Sorry, this is probably going to sound like a rant.
"need -> needed"
This is a tense-implication change, as written the mixed tense conveys the current requirements ("amount I need") changing in the past ("decreased over time"), which might be what you want when a character is speaking about those requirements in the present tense. Using "needed" here has the effect of disconnecting the statement from the present, meaning that it sounds like the character isn't addressing their current needs. The reason the sentence feels off is that it starts with "After five years" but then follows with the description of a progression, it's similar in structure to "After completing the task something increased as I completed it", just a bit less obvious and harder to correct with just a word change.
"so nearly exclusively dungeons -> meaning almost always dungeons"
The original phrasing tends to imply that the mana dense environment is a property of the dungeon, the suggested replacement can be read the other way to imply that dungeon exists because of the mana density, but both are acceptable.
"could work -> could function"
Also a change of meaning. "made it so one could work with less sleep for a while" has two correct uses. One is the direct of being able to work with less sleep, because working and functioning are not the same in the way living and surviving aren't. A second is that sleep is a resource to work with, you can "work with less sleep" in the same way you can "work with less food"... it's not grammatically perfect but it conveys a specific meaning. There's an additional issue that "could function with" and "could function on" have slightly different connotations that I can't quite express, something about the necessity of sleep being dependent rather than cooccurring in relation, that seems to be biased differently from how "could work" forms.
"Even though before the day crash -> Even though the day before the crash"
Change of meaning again... the correct change to preserve the meaning would have been "before the day of the crash" or just dropping "the day"... the original implies that there weren't any signs prior to crashing where as the correction limits that to one day and could imply there were signs on prior days and it was just the sudden change that is being noted. This also introduced a bigger issue as the sentence now reads
Even though the day before the crash.
"get into action. I -> get active, I" ... this is actually wrong. The original was fine, you can "get into action" because action is a noun, even if it's vague on what action is being got into, but you can't "get active" because active here is an adjective which is missing a noun due to being paired with get. You could say "become active", since become feeds the noun through (get is acquiring, become is transformative), but it would still change the meaning of the sentence from one where she's actively involved in a specific action to one where she's just active as a hunter.
"couldn't afford to keep the work up depending on where they lived->, depending on where they lived, couldn't afford to do the work."
That's a substantial meaning change... the original implies that they can do the work, it just isn't sustainable to do so in the long run as you're making a loss. You replacement implies that they can't do the work, regardless of profitability. The difference is in how you're meant to think about the people doing the work and the cost of it, essentially the former gives an image where they have the resources available to cover the job even if they take a loss while the latter is a much stricter image of not having any choice. If you think of it in terms of a company, one is saying they've got the capital to risk and can survive taking a loss and the other is saying they're broke enough that their options have been limited.
The correction after it might have a similar issue, the "already" could stress the upfront cost rather than one spread over the initial missions, but I'm not sure if that's the intention and something that was intended to be emphasised.
Excess vs extreme... these words aren't direct synonyms, I'd say excess or excessive is probably the better choice here though. "Excess amount of monsters" just conveys that it's more than is required or expected, an amount in excess. Changing it to extreme conveys a much higher number, probably enough to destabilise an ecosystem. That's why the dangerous ones aren't "excessively dangerous", meaning just above the reasonable range, but rather "extremely dangerous" and thus considerably beyond reasonable, justifiable or sane.
"Didn't care" was fine as is, the pronoun is omitted as redundant. "Activating" vs "I activated" is another tense change, your adjustment partially disconnects the speech from the action, I'd err more to putting the tense adjustment on "I poured" since that would retain the stronger connection to the moment of activating it while fixing the issue of the pure prefixing sentence.
I don't mean to discourage correcting things that slip through the writing process but I do feel the need to emphasize the importance of preserving the author's intent and not over-correcting dialogue. If I correct something that isn't a clean spelling error I try to note why I'm changing it or just why the wording caught my attention, so the correction works out as what the author wanted to say.
Most importantly... it's better for an error to slip past QA than for QA to introduce an error... that way the reader won't blame the author for the QA screwing up
"plain of wild flowers" ... I hate thee
@Kaithar Quickly adding a note to look at this when I edit this chapter later.