Chapter 9: Alice
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Google docs version here. Btw if there's formatting errors, trust me it looks fine on google docs. Short one because I'm bad at writing.

Alicia, that was the name given to him after his death. Remembering that brought along more memories, along the one about his - unfortunate - reincarnation turning to a spider.

  • “Am I dreaming…?”

Becoming aware of his dreaming state made the image of his former room to be made more clear and sharpened by his memories, as he now had a conscious grasp. The room’s appearance was that of the morning when left for work on that fateful day. A recreation made from his memories.

  • “...li… ...n you he… me?”

Again he heard the low voice whispering.

  • “Hello...? What was that?”
  • “can... you hear... me?”

What was a whisper now audible enough to sound as if someone was right next to him. It was that of a young girl’s voice with drawn out words, monotonous tone and without any inflection.
Still puzzled by a voice calling him out, he wondered if he was showing schizophrenic symptoms. Brushing it off as peculiarity in a dream;

  • “Er… yes, I think?” He answered after a short delay with a slight pause asked; “Uhm, Where are you?”

It was strange, the voice sounded as if there was a person right next to or behind him, but no-one was in sight around in the room.

  • “He...re...”

Though there were no discernible sound coming from anywhere, he was drawn to the window sill. Where he had found the recurring white spider from his dreams.

  • “That… you’re this spider...?”

An idea so outlandish it was something he would normally question his sanity but him dying and being reincarnated made him more receptive to the idea.

  • “i… am...? was...”
  • “Huh? So I wasn’t dreaming about my new form? Then who are you?”
  • “me… you… same...?”

It seemed that the spider struggled with words. Still, he could make out their meanings.

  • “You... and... I are the same? Is that it?”

Though not a word was said or a gesture was made. He had a feeling that it was affirming to his conjecture. He had much to ask and much to process. Where is this place, Why is he here and such.

  • “You seem to be having trouble communicating…”

Besides the obvious lack of intonation, there were many glaring oddities in the spider’s communication.

  • “gain… through… memories… you…  words... use... hard...”
  • “You learned to talk through my memories and using words to express yourself is difficult?”

Again no words or body language, but somehow he could tell he was spot on. He felt that if it was a human, right now they would be enthusiastically nodding their head up and down. Something that reminded him of his youthful days. When his younger sister often ran up to him and asked the strangest of questions. And how he would answer them as seriously as he could. And describe subjects with baffling narrative and how she would beam with laughter and happiness if he could correctly guess what she was talking about.

  • “You called me Alicia before, but…’

Though he doesn’t remember it, he knows that was not his original name.

  • “I’m not… I wasn’t used to be called that before. Are you not Alicia?”

He always wondered why he was given that name.

In reply to his question, this time there was a feeling of denial and…

  • “No… you… alicia...”

He somewhat expected such an answer so it wasn't that big of a surprise. It still didn’t help him with the reason why. Putting that aside, he wanted to know who or what the spider was. Part of his mind or something else?

  • “Then who are you?”
  • “You…?”
  • “Well, more specifically what are you?”
  • “Was… spider… before… you… come... now… part… you...?”
  • “What you do you mean by ‘was’? Are you not a spider anymore? And how did you become a part of me?”
  • “You… come… me… dying...become… one…”
  • “I came to you, when you were dying? Then… somehow... merged with you?”
  • “...yes...”
  • “What did you mean by no longer being a spider?”
  • “hibernate… molt… growing… change... we...”

The disconnected words didn’t make it easy for him to understand. And the new influx of information was too much to absorb. Processing it bit by bit...

'When I was reincarnated I wasn’t born as a spider, but merged with one that was dying. Now for some reason I’m molting, but I don’t think spiders molt by going into an unconscious state so something isn’t right… the uhm... spider’s communication skills are not great, so it’s difficult to get  more information.'

  • “Uhm, calling you ‘spider’ is a bit awkward. Since you’re a part of me, should I call you Alicia then?”
  • “you… alicia… me... name… have… no...”
  • “You don’t have a name… Do you want a name then?”

An affirmation mixed with excitement was given.

  • “Name… name… Alicia... huh… How about Alice? It’s a variation of the name Alicia.”
  • “Aih...ri...shu...?”

First time being acquainted with the name, it seemed as if she was trying to get familiarized with the new word. Repeating the name over and over until it was memorised...

  • “A-lice”
  • “Ah… lee… su…”
  • “Getting closer now, Alice.”
  • “A...lice?”
  • “You got it now… Do you like it?”
  • “...yes…”

Despite the troublesome conversation they still managed to communicate. It’s a wonder how he managed it, even he himself didn’t quite understand it well. Even though it felt like it was only a short while, in reality long time had already passed. He realized the dream was ending and was about to awaken soon. The dream ended as quickly as it had started...

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