Zetsumei

 

Well the night did not go as I had planned but task failed successfully I guess? After getting undressed and some light tickling on her back, she passed out for a nap that turned into an epic sleep fest, I mean... it's the next morning… I, on the other hand, proved immensely proficient at avoiding sleep. Again. I'd scoped the ship out and seen what I could, it wasn't a large vessel. The galley was depressingly tiny and mostly consisted of stale bread and potable water. A few additional cabins for sleeping, all with hammocks like ours had. I'm still not certain how one is to have sex in those things all though… No, now I think I've got something…

 

That was about it, if I knew more about ships I could say if this was a swoop or frigate. The only thing I can say definitively is that it is most decidedly not a rowboat. I did find the captain's quarters and snuck in. Also boring. Ships are definitely as boring as I recall them being from my childhood. The quarters had scrolls and a desk and more scrolls and a telescope, a smattering of scrolls and a census. Censure? That thing sailors use to measure stars. Huh, I'm starting to sound like Scuttle. Talking like I actually know about ships… Brightside! I found moonshine, I'd have done a jig but these hooves are loud as hell and I was barely staying quiet as it was. I swiped 4 bottles and stuck them in my inventory. Very useful that. I took some shot glasses too, no o did not expect a backwater troll to have them. But who am I to judge? I mean, I'm a trans undead space goat who shoots ice at things.

 

And then I walked the deck for like 17 hours. You know, I don't think they put dolphins or sea effects in this game. Not one thing was I able to see during that entire night… and afternoon. But to keep Frost happy, per our conversation, I made sure I was back in our room. And I could not pace the extra (what felt like) 2 hours, cause clopping, as I waited for her to stir. Finally she woke and seemed somewhat better following her marathon nap. 

 

I watched her as we ate fish and stale bread and discussed how we would pass 3 weeks on this shitty boat. Sex came up a lot. That's about all that we could determine, I mean she said massages so I guess that's something we could do. And talk. All around good but being cooped up was going to suck. 

 

She seemed better, as I said. Her crimson lips were turned up at the corners in a small smile as we ate, I was struck by how much her contrasted her skin. I wouldn't say her skin is alabaster, not like mine, but it was definitely pale. She'd picked a tone for her character remarkably similar to her real bodies, her irish blood carrying through in the pale skin. Her eyes a green like twin emeralds looked at me, though they didn't smile like her mouth. Rather, there was a sadness to them. Things were definitely not resolved. I didn't expect them to be. 

 

Maybe I can help with some of those things. We forced ourselves to eat what we could of the meal. The fish tasted fishy, there were literally no seasoning spices on this fish. The bread was flavorless, which would be ok if it didn't suck literally all the moisture out of my mouth with each bite. I'm pretty sure these biscuits were made by assassins in disguise. 10 times worse than a Popeyes biscuit. We spent some time on deck watching the waves and still nothing happened. Just the occasional spray of salty water to the face. So we headed back to our cabin.

 

My heart was beating pretty rapidly by this point, I hate anticipation. But this had to be done and if I was wrong… well, if I was wrong then at least I'll have tried to help instead of sitting and doing nothing. There was a bench  bolted to the floor in our room. I walked Frost to it and sat her down, joining next to her. Taking her hands I looked in her eyes, I let her sadness fuel my need to help. "Did you want to talk about it?"

 

She shook her head. I waited, giving her space to talk. It took a few minutes as we sat in silence and I struggled with wondering if I was making a mistake. "What's there to talk about? I didn't do enough."

 

When she failed to continue I spoke up, "You did everything you coul-"

 

"I bubbled! And I hid. She screamed and I hid. I didn't fight. I didn't try and run to her. I didn't save her. " The sadness she'd been holding within finally came out and trickled down her face.

 

I put my hand on her face and tracef a finger over her cheek. "There were three of them love. It's unreasonable to expect anyone can handle three players at a time. You lived and you tried. I wasn't there for much of it, but the moment I was there and you were free, you ran to Pyria and tried to help her."

 

"I could have done more. I should have seen Greg coming." I put an arm around her and gently pulled her to me, she gave in and laid her head against my chest. 

 

"We'll find Greg and then he'll pay a hundred gold for what he did. You keep him alive after each session and we'll dismember him piece by piece, healed just enough to not die from it…" Rage coloured my voice and for once the masculine voice matched the volume of the feminine one and created a terrifyingly aggressive effect. But Frost shook her head slowly against me.

 

"I don't even want that." We were silent awhile, as I looked down at her in confusion. "I just. What's the point? Another person dead? What if were the ones who end up dead. I don't want that. I promised myself and her I'd make it out alive. You promised we'd make it out together. He's not part of that. We can't take the risk."

 

I held her as I thought on that. I'd honestly thought she'd want to find and kill Greg. But, she made sense too. He was shifty and I couldn't trust he'd be easy to kill. At last I nodded, "You're right. But if I see him, I am killing him."

 

"Not if I kill him first…" I smiled at her promise. Time to go a bit further…

 

"Come here, I got something." She looked at me quizzically but followed along without objection. I stopped in front of the end table in our cabin and pulled an item from my inventory, setting it on the table. Frost gasped as she saw what I had. It was a stuffed, small, white fox humanoid doll. I had taken some ash earlier and added little wisps of grey to the face. 

 

"When…?"

 

"When I bought the coffees and bread. I thought it might help. Seems the auction house still works.  Only thing I found that seemed useful." I looked at Frost, her tears were finally falling. I took out a few more items I added to the table: bottle of moonshine, 3 shot glasses and an incense stick. "I thought we should do this…"

 

I poured into the 3 glasses, chilling them with a brief touch of my magic. One I handed to Frost, one I kept and the last I left on the table. I made a small speech about Pyria, thanking her for her selflessness, how she saved Frost and how she was a kind and caring person. I felt a slight warmth spread on both my shoulders, just a small patch on each like little hands. I asked Frost if she wanted to add anything. She was in full tears by this point, and placed a hand over her left shoulder as she added  "Goodbye my friend". 

 

Tears were running down my own face, tears for a child who saved my love and whom I had been forced to kill. It was one of many things haunting me of late. I raised my glass in salute.  "Pyria, thank you for saving us. Thank you for being...for being you. A light in this dark world. Until we meet again on the Further Shore…"

 

I drank my shot, and felt it's warmth spread through my chest. I saw Frost down here with a cough and I reverently poured the third shot out, "Goodbye little fox…"

 

We cried then. Long and hard, we cried until we ran out of tears. We drank too, no more shots spilled. We didn't have many fun tales, we'd not known her too long but we talked about funny shit she did. Frost enjoyed how Pyria was so earnest, just trying to make the most of a terrible situation. I'd loved bow she rode Frost into battle. Both of us have come to see her as our child. Crazy in such a short time but she'd lost her parents and was clearly lonely. We're parents separated from our children nearly twice her age…

 

We drank for hours until Frost fell asleep, plush fox clutched to her chest. I finished the second bottle off and was overtaken by the oblivion of sleep at long last…

 

There was a slow improvement in Frost following that day. Small as the closure was it offered a catharsis that had been needed. I finally slept the sleep of the dead thanks to some moonshine. So went the first week, our days spent talking or being more intimate. My nights consisting of waiting until Frost went to sleep and when the thoughts began to intrude I would start in on the moonshine until I blacked out. A quick heal each morning from Frost kept the hangovers away. But this wasn't to last, I should have grabbed more bottles. I tried to get more. I did but a guard stood outside the cabin all hours of the night now. 

 

So, another 2 weeks crawled past. We'd reminisce about our past or discuss our future. There were massages and kisses. Stale biscuits trying to kill us and bland fish for every meal. I'd wait until Frost fell asleep and try to sleep myself. It never lasted long before the memories began and I'd wake in a panic. So I paced the deck, night after night. I reviewed my abilities, surprisingly it seemed every ability ever available to this class was there. It was quite the unpruning but memorizing them didn't distract me long. 

 

Frost grew more and more concerned about my appearance but I brushed it off. Finally we were approaching the dock, a few hours and we'd be there. I just needed to clear this game and it'd be ok again. Hopefully.

 

It was as we stood on the deck watching the waves when I couldn't deny my state any further. Standing there, watching the rise and fall of the waves, I was startled when a crew member dropped something. I spun with my blades drawn. Frost placed her hand on my arm and said something but I couldn't hear her. 

 

On the deck I saw two young girls of the same age standing on the deck, their blond curls bouncing around their shoulders as they giggled and played. I felt a single tear roll down my cheek as I watched these specters of my daughters who played before me. Suddenly they knelt down and each grabbed something. My heart seized in my chest when I saw the scroll on each of their hands. I was frozen as the scroll dissolved and power flowed into their little bodies. I stepped forward, hand outstretched. I was frozen in place as they looked up at me, their twin faces a rictus of fear. Looking to their papa for help. With an unseen breeze they drifted away like flakes of snow in the wind.

 

A tapping on my side drew me from my frozen state. A boy somewhat younger than his sisters stood next to me, my son. His mop of strawberry blond hair was stiff and blackened against his skin. His skin was charred and split just as Pyria had been. From cracked and bleeding lips he croaked, "Papa…" before stiffening and calling limp against me. My blade was embedded in his side. I released it and fell backwards, shaking and sobbing uncontrollably. What have I done?!

 

"Zet!" Frost spun me to her. What have I done. How were they here? I couldn't fix this… "Zet what's wrong?"

 

I looked at Frost, her face twisted with concern. Had she not seen… Over her shoulder I saw the twins again and the scene played out again. I was hyperventilating, I don't understand… Frost took my hand and pulled me below deck. I found myself on the ground, her warm arms wrapped around me as she stroked my hair. "Zet, talk to me. What happened?"

 

It took a few minutes for me to calm myself but the stroking and soft words of concern and comfort helped. I spoke haltingly at first but I told her what had happened on the deck. She was quiet for a moment before speaking,  "What happened to you? After you used that scroll?"

 

I didn't want to. I couldn't… I… I need to… "I saw you. Frozen. Scared. I tried to call out to you but everything went dark. I floated, but I had no body. No voice. It was black everywhere and so cold. I was alone, I couldn't see. I couldn't hear. I couldn't speak."

 

Frost drew me tighter to her and nuzzled against my head, "How long?"

 

My tears were flowing freely now but I was no longer wracked by sobs. My answer came in a whisper, "I don't know. It could have minutes or years. I couldn't tell but it just kept going, with only the cold. At some point I saw a light, it felt warm so I moved to it. When I got close they heat rushed against me and I moved away from it. I didn't have hands to protect me from the heat but I fought past it anyways. When I reached the light I saw it was a door. I pushed against it but it was stuck, like someone pushing against me. Centimeters at a time I pushed it open, I wanted to escape the cold dark so badly… finally the door was open and I stepped inside the light. I saw you then, standing before me looking shocked. I was stabbed from the back a moment later and, well you know the rest. I'm...so scared."

 

"Of what?" She softly asked.

 

"That if I sleep, that if I mess up again I'll be back in that darkness. That I'm still there and this is all a dream in my isolated state. That everyone I killed is in that dark place waiting. That Pyria is there. That our children will lose us because I fucked up…"

 

She shushed me and stroked my hair more. I felt warm spots gripping my hands and shoulder again. "I got you. Lean on me my love. You're here. I'm not losing you again. Don't worry about the rest, we'll make it through. We're Zet an-"

 

A roar and crack split through the ship. Shouting from the deck began with calls for the 'passengers' being prevalent. We were both thrown against a wall as the whole ship seemed to tip sideways. We struggled to our feet and Frost pulled me into a passionate kiss. She broke it too soon and caressed my cheek while staring intently into my eyes, "We got this together. You're not alone."

 

I nodded and nuzzled into her hand before we broke our moment and raced up to the deck. In the distance a sprawling city of crude construction lay behind a massive fleet of ships. I saw the blue masts of the Coalition and the red of the Comhar. The starboard side of the ship was a splintered wreck thanks to a gaping hole. Little fires around it were being put out by crewmembers. Our ship was running parallel to the shore and several balls of flame crashed around the ship, narrowly missing it. 

 

"We're unda attack! Both forces are attacking us." The captain was frantically yelling from the helm. 

 

"What's the plan Captain?" I shouted watching several ships break off from the blockading fleet. 

 

"We're going to a smalla port north. If ya can do sometin about the attacks, do it!"

 

I looked to Frost and shrugged. After a moment of staring I proposed a plan. "Maybe it's similar to a raid mechanic. I'll use my Anti-magic shield and see if it works? You see if you can blast a hole in their ships?"

 

She nodded, "Be careful."

 

Just like that she was racing to the upper deck. The ships had gained quickly and were drawing closer, easily twice our size but only two of them at least. A portal opened above the top deck and someone jumped through. They found only open space though as the ship continued forward and the portal remained stationary. I drew my blades, this could easily get nasty if they figure out the timing. Another portal opened in front of the ship and someone jumped through, too soon this time and there was a quiet think as they hit the front of the ship. 

 

My heart pounded and my hands began to shake. All this adrenaline and nowhere to go… A fireball erupted from one of the ships and speared across the water at us. A bolt of light responded in kind and struck their sails, setting them ablaze. I calculated where the fireball was headed and ran to the location. I stood beneath as the warmth grew and activated my ability, a violet shield erupted around me. The fireball struck and I closed my eyes as the magics clashed in a violent light show. When I opened my eyes the shield was cracked throughout and splintering. That was close…

 

I saw another fireball coursing towards us seconds from impact. I used my Wraith teleport to close the distance and arrived just as it impacted.  With the shattering of glass my shield broke and I was thrown violently against the opposite railing of the ship. Everything was blurry and I was seeing double. Two Frosts were running towards me, I saw the kids standing over me again and felt the warmth of their hands as they gripped mine. Frost knelt next to me as my vision faded and unconsciousness claimed me.