Dawn was bliss. Neither had moved much during the night and their faces were still close together when they woke up. Victoria was the first to open her eyes, the slight sunlight under the bedroom door casting a diffuse light on the woman in front of her. She lay there a minute, then decided that “waking up to someone staring at you” is not something she wanted to do to Maxine. She very gently kissed the tip of her nose. Apparently close to waking up herself, Max’s eyes fluttered open. 

 

“Good m-” Victoria said before Max planted the laziest, most heartfelt kiss on her, rolling them both over. That was okay with V, this worked too. They kissed with a quiet, slow passion, both in a sleepy haze, rolling this way and that and almost twice falling off the bed. They giggled. 

 

Then, hands roamed. Laughing fell silent until the only sound was that of quiet anticipation. There was some fumbling with buttons until they both got annoyed and clothes were simply pulled off. Quiet and slow became careful and gentle. Soft whispers of encouragement. Squeaks at new sensations and a new body that needed to be put through its paces, which Victoria knew how to do. Soft passion became desperation, then quiet again. Rehydration break. Then back to each other. For Max, everything was new, and she trusted Victoria more than anything. For Victoria, Max was new, and that, too, was enough. 

 

An indeterminate amount of time had passed when they extricated themselves from each other. Max couldn't speak. Her head was filled with pink clouds. Victoria just lay there smiling, to each other both were the most beautiful thing they had ever seen. Finally, Max’s brain untangled itself enough to mumble a thank you. V’s laugh and scrunched nose indicated that no, the pleasure was all hers. They kissed again, even their mouths sore. 

 

“You should wash your face.”

 

“So should you.”

 

“Shower?”

 

“God yes.”

 

Victoria rolled out of bed with grace. Max tried to stand up and immediately collapsed. 

 

“My legs don't work.”

 

“You're welcome.” Victoria slowly helped her get up on wobbly legs. Just standing there, naked in Victoria’s bedroom, their bodies pressed together, Maxine felt uniquely vulnerable yet exceptionally secure. The short five steps to the bathroom they walked hand in hand. 

 

They took their time showering, massaging soap into each other, V washing Max’s hair and Max just standing there in complete ecstasy as her scalp was massaged. She pouted when it was over but it got her gently pushed into the shower wall for another kiss so she quickly forgave V. 

 

Victoria preferred to do her own hair care routine but Maxine was more than happy to just… Stand there. 

 

Sadly, the shower had to come to an end, and Maxine began towelling Victoria down, who had never experienced this before and was a little taken aback. But Max’s gentle ministrations quickly relaxed her and she just made soft content noises. Of course she returned the favour. 

 

As V left the bathroom and Maxine was about to follow her, she finally heard Penumbra. 

 

You should stay in here. 

 

“What- Oh.”

 

It's not going to be like last time. I'll be here. 

 

Victoria had turned around, reading Max’s expression to mean that she was talking to Penny. But Max turned to her. 

 

“You should stay out there. This… Won't be pleasant.”

 

Victoria took a step towards her and kissed her.

 

“I'm here for you. I promise.”

 

Then she stepped into the bathroom with Max and closed the door behind her. 

 

Try to… Try to feel where the resistance comes from. I'll try to push back and make it… Better. 

 

Max nodded nervously and carefully sat on her knees. Victoria was about to say something, ask something, when every one of Max’s vertebrae broke through the skin of her back a shattered mess. Her head jerked back, mouth frozen in a silent scream as her hair fell out in wet wads on the quickly growing pool of blood on the floor. Her bones cracked and churned inside her, her flesh ripping like at cloth revealing rolling, coiling, twisting muscles and splintered bones underneath before stitching itself back together. She began to curl up into the foetal position when

 

Victoria caught her. She was crying. Maxine was in pain and it hurt her. But she was damned if she was going to let her go through it alone. So she held the woman as they both cried, Maxine torn apart physically in a torture worse than any devised by man, and Victoria torn by empathy. 

 

When the sound, the ripping stopped, when Maxine finally stopped convulsing and spasming, the only sound in the bathroom was Victoria's silent sobbing. 

 

“I'm… I'm o- okay, V,” Max said with the quietest voice. Victoria sniffled and kissed her on the head. Kissed her, over and over again and crying again. 

 

“I'm sorry, Max. I'm so sorry. I had no idea. I'm so sorry.”

 

Maxine leaned against her, shaking gently. 

 

“I- it's W- worth it.”

 

V clenched her teeth and pressed her face into Max’s hair. Nobody should go through this. 

 

“Is… Is Penumbra okay?”

 

“Present. Tired.”

 

Max spoke softly, her throat a hoarse mess. “You did good, Penny. This w- wasn't as bad as last time.”

 

“Thank you. Did you find it?”

 

“I did.”

 

For the second time that day, Victoria helped her to her feet. This time, Maxine felt less than wonderful, her body once again angular, hairy. Not to mention covered in blood and clumps of hair. She was gently ushered back into the shower. 

 

“You ruined my bath mat.” Victoria said with a smile, and ran the water. 

 

This was different from the shower they'd just taken. It was careful. Victoria sponged Maxine down, who winced at pangs of dysphoria whenever V looked at her body. 

 

V caught one of the pained glances and leaned in to kiss her. 

 

“Just as beautiful. Still the same person. You even kiss the same.”

 

Maxine's tears washed away with the blood as they kissed. 

 

—- 

 

Finally out of the shower, they were both unsteady from the events of the morning. Penumbra was out like a light. So they set up on the couch with a blanket and tea and ordered pizzas. Victoria did some more work on her essay, and Max sat opposite her reading a book, their legs tangled, feet shoved under each other's butts for warmth. Occasionally, one would wiggle a toe just to elicit eye contact. Once, Maxine mouthed “thank you”. Victoria simply blew her a kiss. Max swooned dramatically, but her heart really did start beating faster. 

 

She had fallen hard for Victoria, and she assumed that went both ways. And that probably wasn't going away any time soon. She leaned over and made a grabby hand. Victoria got the hint and grabbed it. One squeeze, one squeeze response. Gay smiles and gay energy in the air. 

 

The pizza was a welcome distraction to Victoria, and Max got her to stop working, and ended up watching cartoons together while eating, Max with her legs wrapped around V who leaned into her. Occasionally they'd offer each other a bite. 

 

When the movie was done, they went back to bed early. Quickly disrobed and fell into each other's arms. Victoria touched her. Max was unsure. 

 

“This doesn't bother you?”

 

“No.”

 

“But it's…”

 

“It's yours. That means I like it.”

 

They made love and fell asleep in love.