“That was probably bad.”

 

He wanted us - you - dead 

 

“I mean not…”

 

He literally said so 

 

“I know.”

 

You feel bad 

 

“I feel guilty”

 

Why 

 

“Because I don't really feel bad, okay? I feel like I should… I should…”

 

Turn yourself in to the police because you ate someone's head in self defense?

 

“Heh, that wouldn't go over well, would it?”

 

Mmm

 

“I just… We're strong enough to have gotten away. Just ran away.”

 

You're right. He seemed like a stable person who wouldn't have bothered anyone else. 

 

“I…”

 

Do you think he treated all women this way or just trans women? 

 

“You're right.”

 

I didn't get a degree in philosophy for nothing 

 

“I… You… What?!”

 

Bad time for jokes?

 

“I'm trying to wrestle with a moral dilemma here.”

 

I'm sorry. 

 

“It's okay.”

 

It just seems like you're trying to talk yourself into feeling guilty over doing the right thing because… Why?

 

“Murder Bad?”

 

Self defense good 

 

“Even if it was self defense, that was… What do they call it...excessive force.”

 

He wasn't just threatening you 

 

“Like he could have hurt y-”

 

I meant trans women

 

“Oh.”

 

Mm

 

“Oh.”

 

Yeah 

 

—-

 

“What do we tell Victoria?”

 

Up to you. Clearly talking to a woman you like is a very intricate web of social cues 

 

“Wait are you impl-”

 

I'm calling you a dumbass lesbian 

 

“Wow, okay.”

 

Am I wrong? 

 

“Get fucked, Penny.”

 

Literally takes three, in our case. If you hurried up…

 

“Don't you dare. Anyway.”

 

Anyway

 

“I think we should tell her.”

 

I defer to you. What's your reasoning?

 

“If we don't, she'll find out in a few weeks. I've seen this stuff before in…”

 

You can say comic books. It's okay. I won't judge. 

 

“I… Hum. Anyway. She'll find out. We'll come-”

 

Home?

 

“Visit. And there she'll be, crying and pointing a gun that at this point I think would just be unpleasant at us. No explanation would be good enough, how could you keep this from me, you're a monster, etcetera.”

 

Sounds about right

 

“We tell her we were attacked. We could have run away, but he threatened trans women. Enough of us get killed as is. If that upsets her, that's valid and her right, but at least she finds out on our own terms.”

 

If she gets… Violent?

 

“We aren't eating her.”

 

I didn't say 

 

“You implied it.”

 

I'd never hurt someone while I could watch you awkwardly run circles around each other for days without saying anything 

 

“Pfffff.”

 

It's true, it's incredibly entertaining and I'm learning a lot. Being a lesbian looks nerve-wrackingly wonderful. Or wonderfully nerve-wracking. 

 

“It iiiiis.”

 

I can't hear myself think over you daydreaming of her 

 

“Fkn stop me.”

 

I would never.

 

—-

 

“What do we do with body?”

 

You still have that sandwich? 

 

“Y- Yeah?”

 

Save it 

 

“Are we going to eat him?”

 

Waste not 

 

“Where did you even pick that up?”

 

Pirates of the Caribbean was on in the break room at work 

 

“Oh yeah!”

 

I'd like to see it some time 

 

“It's grea- hey! Don't distract me, we're discussing cannibalism.”

 

Right, sorry 

 

“So beyond the ethical implications…”

 

We can eat him just fine. We're good at condensing big things 

 

“Do we need to like… Eugh… Strip him?”

 

No, we can digest anything. 

 

“Oh cool.”

 

Yeah, now you can live the instant ramen life of your dreams 

 

“Eat shit”

 

Rather not 

 

“Might want to grab his wallet though. See who he was.”

 

Maybe he had some money on him 

 

“This is morally grey as fuck.”

 

You suggested grabbing his wallet!

 

“I know! Listen… I… Oh shit do you see this?”

 

Is that what we think it is?

 

“Holy crap I never thought I'd see one of these in real life.”

 

“It's a full sandwich stamp card!”

 

—-

 

“So that was disgusting.”

 

Tangy 

 

“Ugh. It bothers me how much that didn't bother me.”

 

The world is a cleaner, slightly less transphobic place now. 

 

“Don't forget racist. Who carries around a confederate flag up here even?”

 

Racists, I guess?

 

“Fair. Now what?”

 

Probably let Minnie know you won't be going. Unless you still want to?

 

“I'm really not in the mood to go bar hopping anymore. I'll just tell her I bumped into a creep who wouldn't stop grabbing me. She'll get it.”

 

Probably leave out the part where you bit his head off

 

“Ugh, she's straight, she'd probably misinterpret that in the worst way.”

 

Ew 

 

“Right?”

 

Maybe Victoria is hooome

 

“Oooh, maybe she- hey!”

 

Hmmm?

 

“Don't mock me!”

 

I'm not. I think you two are cute together 

 

“Y- you really think so?”

 

For fuck’s sake 

 

—-

 

“Well, I could use some rest at V’s place.”

 

Your resting heart rate triples when you two make eye contact 

 

“Yeah but there's no men there.”

 

Good point 

 

“Hey Penny?”

 

Yeah?

 

“He had it coming, right?”

 

You know what they say 

 

“I do.”

 

There are women with dicks

 

“Men with vaginas."

 

“And transphobes without heads.”

 

—-

 

They knocked on Victoria's door a few minutes later. It was only nine-thirty, and V had still been studying. As soon as they sat down, Maxine spilled the beans. Without Penumbra’s sass, the weight of what she did bore heavy, and she tried to make herself small and non-threatening to Victoria. She didn't want to scare her off. To her surprise, Victoria carefully put a hand on her back and gently rubbed it. 

 

“Honestly, I would have done the same.”

 

“We ate him, V.”

 

“O-kay, not literally the same. But like, okay, you're part alien and it needs to feed. Waste not want not.”

 

“That's what I said!”

 

“Oh, hey Penny. Saw Pirates today too huh?”

 

“Parts of it. I liked it!”

 

Maxine interrupted them. 

 

“How are you so okay with this?”

 

Victoria now wrapped her arm around Max who felt so very, very small, but now also sheltered and had her face smooshed against V’s bosom. 

 

“If I could find every person who wants us to be and feel unsafe, every man who assaults and kills trans women, every one of the bastards who wants us dead, and bite their head off, I would.”

 

Maxine flushed red with gay, and mumbled, “Fuck, you're cool.”

 

“Nah. Just angry. I've had my deal of transphobes try and get under my skin. And a couple times try to fuck with me in the street. I'm not easy to beat up, though.” She beamed with pride. “I put a couple of ‘em in the hospital.” She absent-mindedly ran a thumb over a scar on her arm, jagged and uneven. Something had cut deep there. She shook herself free from her reverie. 

 

“But now I'm mostly just tired.”

 

“Oh fuck, I'm so sorry, am I keeping you up?”

 

“I meant tired of Transphobia, sweetie. I could sleep, though.”

 

She called you sweetie! You should ask her to marry you!

 

Maxine disguised a giggle as a cough and sat up straight, elated but also disappointed to have to leave. 

 

“Alright, I'll let you sleep, then,” she said with a forced smile. 

 

“Girl, are you crazy? After the night you had, you are not going anywhere. Door through there, then left, is the shower. I'll leave some fresh pajamas for when you get out. I hope you like flannel."

 

Max got up, stammering thank you’s. Victoria playfully turned her around and gave her a gentle push. 

 

“Go, you turkey. I'm not… Going anywhere.”

 

Her smile was so genuine, so warm, Max was scared she might cry so she ran off to the shower to do just that.