Dysphoria was tricky for Max. The typical markers that cis people knew about it didn't really apply to her. No real bottom dysphoria - what was there wasn't a source of unhappiness, moreso that it was inconvenient. She would have much preferred to have been born different and there was some euphoria to be found in fantasies but it was the body dismorphia equivalent of “is Pepsi okay”. She'd like to switch to regular brand some day but she was willing to put with this while figuring out the bothersome stuff first. 

The jawline had to go. She needed hips. Longer, more elegant fingers. Small things that made her feel like a botched experiment. But most of all, more than anything, she wished she could get rid of the incessant hair growth. All hair from the upper lip down needed. To. Go. It made her feel like a fly, an insect, bristles everywhere, and the world's most egregious shaving regimen didn't make that feeling go away. 

This all to say that this is why she spent the first five minutes of every shower not moving, so she wouldn't be aware of the body she was washing. The hot water hit her face with perfect discomfort and she relished in it for a moment. Then, she had an idea and her eyes shot open which was a spectacularly stupid idea. Having almost boiled her eyeballs, Max turned her back to the shower head and ‘nudged’ Penny. 

“Hey, Penumbra.”

Hey

“We haven't… Gotten any practice in. Could you…”

Are you sure? 

“Yes. Maybe you can help me feel when I'm pushing back.”

That makes sense. Hold on. 

She braced herself again for the pain, for the immeasurable cost she was willing to pay to go through this, but it didn't happen. Gently, the hair on her arms thinned, lightened. She could see parts of herself thin or extend, lengthen, shorten, with only the slightest sense of anything happening at all. It was like looking at an invisible sculptor working clay. 

When the big changes got made, things got a bit weird and everything went tingles and stimulation for a moment, and she had to sit down and breathe. And then, it was over. 

Sorry. You get sensitive down there 

“I… Noticed. Whew.” 

She paused and collected herself for a moment. 

“Why… Why didn't it hurt?”

I know what I'm doing. You don't. Think of it as… You're a driver. I'm a sentience inside your car. We can't drive without the other, but I know what's going on. You just read information off the dashboard. 

“I can't actually drive but that does make some sense.”

You can't dr- why is there so much car stuff in here?

“I like the Fast and the Furious.”

A movie?

She thought hard of Michelle Rodriguez. 

This explains a lot 

“Yeah but look at her!”

You are so gay. Speaking of. Incoming. 

“Wh-” she said as the bathroom door opened and Maxine was convinced she'd have a heart attack. 

“Don't worry!” Victoria said over the sound of rushing water. “I'm just putting your pajamas right here!”

The shower door was glass and mostly opaque, so she couldn't actually see anything happening out there. After a second the door closed and Max had trouble unfreezing. 

Please breathe. 

“aa”

It's just pajamas

“But she was in here! While I was naked!”

She wasn't in the shower with you 

“That's true…”

Don't sound so dejected. You're staying the night. On purpose this time. 

“That's true!”

They got out and for the first time, Maxine saw her new body in the mirror. She instantly noticed some things. Small tiddy. Very smoochable face. A little bit of a tum. THEM HIPS. And… Gosh. The most powerful bottom euphoria she'd ever experienced. She had to stand there in awe for a minute. She didn't think she'd ever get used to this being her. It couldn't be. She didn't deserve-

Tssk. That's the bad thinking. 

They were right. This was her. She was beautiful. Deserved to be beautiful. 

No matter what you look like. 

“No matter what I look like.”.

Atta girl. Now, unless you're braver than I give you credit for, you should probably put those on. 

She blushed and put the soft, clean pj’s on and carefully opened the door to the bedroom she'd walked through to get to the shower. Victoria was sitting on her bed with her laptop, already changed - that meant she'd been out here naked while Max was in the shower. Her blush doubled, and then tripled when V looked at her. She was wearing matching bottoms to her own pajamas but a tank top instead. 

Victoria looked at her with a surprised smile. 

“Hey you. That must have been one hell of a shower,” she joked. 

Max bashfully rubbed her arm. 

“We're trying to… Train a bit. Endurance for Penny, self-care and esteem for me.”

She opened her arms and did a little twirl. 

“Ta-dah. What do you think?”

V put her laptop aside and got up, making a show of measuring her up and down. 

“I think that… If this helps with dysphoria then it's amazing.” She stopped right in front of Max who was suddenly very aware of the difference a few inches in height made when she had to look up at Victoria for a change , and swallowed. 

“But honestly,” and she wrapped her arms around Max, “I think you look gorgeous either way.”

“Asfghkljhkfdf,” Maxine said. V laughed softly, and pulled away, wiping away a tear from Max’s face she hadn't even noticed herself. 

“I hope you stop seeing what you're scared of seeing some day, Max. What's there is already gorgeous.”

Maxine opened and closed her mouth like a goldfish a few times.  And then looked away trying not to panic, cry, scream or tackle V. 

“So eh… Do I sleep on the couch?”

V took a step back and sat down on the bed and suddenly looked bashful herself. It was about time, honestly. 

“That eh… That's… Up to you,” she said with a smile that looked like it was supposed to be reassuring. 

Now that's just cruel. 

“I… I don't.. Wh… p…” Maxine managed. 

Say something or I'll do it for you

“W- where do you…”

Victoria tucked a nonexistent strand of hair behind her ear her voice didn't quiver. 

“I'd like to… Maybe get a little bit of work done. But… If it doesn't bother you… You're free to…”

“I… I'd like that.”

They both looked at each other in silence for a minute, screaming internally. 

Please do not 

This prompted Max to make a move. 

“I'm going to… Grab a glass of… Water,” her nervous brain managed. ”Do you… Want… Some? One? A glass?”

Victoria nodded.

“Yes please. Glasses are above the sink.”

“I remember,” Maxine squeaked, and tiptoed out of the room. 

That was intense  

“You're telling me.”

She got two glasses of water and brought them back to the room, carefully closing the door behind her. The sound that came in through apartment windows was suddenly shut out and the atmosphere became… Intimate. She walked over to the unoccupied side of the bed, still made perfectly, and set down her glass on the nightstand. She sat down and offered the other to V, laptop on her legs and typing away, who smiled as she accepted the glass. Their fingers touched and they both froze for a moment. 

They blinked a few times, then V turned back to the laptop and took a sip of water. Max shuffled herself under the covers and looked over. 

“What are you working on?” She hazarded. 

Victoria typed something as she answered. “It's a paper on the spectrograph they're launching next week. It's… It's real science geek stuff. I don't want to bore you.”

“Tell me about it?”

“If you're sure?” She smirked to herself. ”Maybe it'll put you to sleep.”

She began explaining some required astrophysics fundamentals. Max interjected a few times to ask for clarification. Slowly, as Victoria explained things using images on her laptop, she scooted closer. 

To see the screen better. 

Obviously. 

As Victoria got to more and more advanced parts of her impromptu presentation, Maxine utterly failed to fall asleep, only resting her head against V’s shoulder, listening intently to her describe her field of expertise, completely lost in the sound of this wonderful person speaking passionately. She only started dozing off when Victoria put her laptop away and slid slightly under the sheets as well. It was late, and she was tired. But it didn't stop her having a mild freakout when V turned towards her and put her hand on her hip. Even through the fabric of her pajamas it was warm. 

God, her face was so close to her own. Max felt V’s breath against her lips. 

“Good night, Mad Max.”

“Good night, V.”

Then, Max kissed her. Soft and gentle. It lasted a thousand lifetimes and it was, in all likelihood, the greatest kiss in human history. They both breathed each other in, and then finally, agonisingly, they pulled away, foreheads pressed together. Exhaled. Max didn't want to push. She wanted Victoria to feel safe in her own home. Of course, Victoria was having similar thoughts, but both lay there grinning like idiots. 

“Let's try to…”

“...get some sleep.”

“Do you have to do anything tomorrow?”

“No. You?”

“Absolutely nothing.”

“Perfect.”

They fell asleep like this after a little while, faces together, occasionally nudging the other's nose with their own as if to reassure themselves that the other was still there. 

Fucking finally.