Arc 1. Chapter 1-10
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Looking at myself in the mirror made me want to cry.

There are mirrors back home, of course there are, but they’re old, worn out, and show signs of rust on the edges. The image reflected is always a little distorted.

Looking at myself in a nice mirror was another experience entirely. Now that I was clean, there were no excuses, really. No excuses for my opaque, dull hair. No excuses for the red shining on my forehead, cheekbones and the point of my nose after continuous sun exposure. No excuses for my dry skin. No excuses for my sunken face and the clothes hanging off my shoulders when they were supposed to be my size.

Emily was a professional. She didn’t say anything nor changed her expression when she saw the way my ribs protruded from my skin. I didn’t raise a finger to help her and she managed to have me both cleaned and dressed in a nice black plated skirt reaching just above my knees and a white crisp shirt with puffy sleeves and a black ribbon tied around the collar. She even pinned some cute hair decorations; silver barrettes with pearls attached on top of them; on the left side of my hair after brushing it until all the knots were gone.

Despite all the care taken with me, there was no way to cover up the one fact that jumped first upon seeing my reflection. I was ugly. No, I was not ugly, but I did feel ugly. Every little aspect of me screamed of neglect. It wasn’t even my fault, but that didn’t make me feel any better.

Emily had left a while ago, to look for creams and lotions for my dry skin, but honestly, it was nothing but a waste of time. I had to resist the temptation of snarling just thinking of her acting all caring. What does it matter how I look? Why waste any creams on me? I’m going to die anyway. She knows it. The guards know it. The young masters know it. Everyone knows it. The point in bringing me here wasn’t fixing me, it was to give me some days of peace and luxury before the inevitable end.

It was all just so… frustrating. I was alone in the bedroom in that moment, but I didn’t need to look to know one of the guards Lucas left behind was standing outside my door. The other one was standing outside just below my balcony, I saw him when I opened the doors to let in some of the fresh night air.

Escape was impossible at this very moment, and honestly, I was just so tired after an entire day of emotional stress the only thing I wanted to do was plop down on the bed and sleep my worries away. What prevented me from doing so was Lucas’ words about dinner. I was starving, and I wouldn’t mind eating something before collapsing.

My eyes automatically went to the clock atop one of the nightstands. One in the morning. It was late. When Emily went looking for the creams it was still twelve-thirty. Half an hour seemed like too much time, if you asked me. But it didn’t matter. I only wanted something to eat, and distract me from the image in the mirror that was tearing me inside.

A knock sounded just in time.

“Come in” I said, still looking at my reflection, finding more and more imperfections as I scanned myself. Then, a delicious aroma permeated the air. I turned and looked at Lucas, holding a tray with a dish, a jug, a glass and bread. I admit I was surprised seeing him carrying the food instead of one of the servants.

He was surprised too, but likely for a different reason. His eyes inspected me from head to toe, and I couldn’t help but fidget under his scrutiny. Unlike Emily, I could see the emotion behind his eyes. Horror, regret, and, worse of all, pity.

“What’s for dinner?” I asked nonchalantly, trying to divert his attention. Lucas was a smart boy. He blinked for a moment, confused, before shaking his head and walking over to me.

“I didn’t know what you like, so I asked the chef to make something simple but nutritious. It’s grilled salmon with a side of asparagus and cherry tomatoes. There’s also bread and… water. Sorry if you wanted juice, but since you… well, water would be…”

“Water is fine” it’s been a while since I had a whole jug of water to myself. In that moment, it sounded much more appetizing than juice or any other kind of beverage, so Lucas was right. I sat on the small settee in front on the vanity mirror, and Lucas left the tray in front of me. I took a moment to close my eyes and inhale the heavenly scent of the salmon, before opening them and locking gazes with Lucas.

I quickly grabbed fork and knife and cut a piece. I felt oddly embarrassed with him seeing me like this.

The taste exploded in my mouth, and I literally gave a moan of delight. God, how long has it been since I had a real meal? Grilled potatoes and any wild animal dad could capture would usually be our normal dinner at home, and only if we got lucky enough. Otherwise we just ate fruits and mushrooms, or sometimes even the overgrown vegetation around the farm. Water was something difficult to come by, so most of the trees with edible fruits were sick, and small animals didn’t find much to live on within our desecrated terrain. Let’s not even talk about fishes. With the river in the state it was, nothing could live there.

Besides, this was my first time eating salmon in this life. I had forgotten how good it was. It was not native to our region, and thus it was incredibly expensive, so of course simple farmers like us could not really pay for it. To think they would give something like this to a mere prisoner like me.

Before I could stop it, tears started rolling down my cheeks, but I kept eating without paying attention to them. Lucas, on the other hand, wasn’t about to let it go.

“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” he asked, worry clear in both his voice and face. I would have snorted at this show of fake empathy but I was in no mood to do so. Not while eating anyway.

So I told him truthfully. “I’ve never had salmon in my life.”

“Oh” he said, obviously at a loss for words. I continued eating and crying silently. By then, I no longer cared whether he was there watching me or not. Other thoughts intruded in my mind, dark thoughts that only made me cry harder, until I had to leave my utensils on the plate to bury my face on my hands. Why was I feeling like this so suddenly? It was just fish!

“We…” my voice came out hoarse, so I cleared my throat. “We haven’t eaten anything since almost a year ago. Nothing like this. Back then, when the river was fine and the crops healthy, we could eat what we produced without a problem, and buy what we couldn’t easily enough. But then… the storms came, and it not only destroyed the crops, and our barn, and killed the cows and sheep… it left us with nothing else to live by. And taxes had to be paid, and we were left without anything…”

What was I doing? Why was I telling him all of this? I’m sure he didn’t care about any of that at all. After all, what was it for him? He lived a good life, wanting for nothing as long as it came to material things. I was a sacrifice, and I was only here in this moment with nice clothes and a nice bedroom and a good meal because of him feeling pity for me. To lessen the guilt in his heart.

He was going to sacrifice me after all, despite all of these good things he was doing for me. If that was the case, why care about me at all?

And yet, the words couldn’t stop flowing.

I slowly raised my head, weak sobs still escaping my mouth, but did not look in his direction. I could feel him standing next to me though, completely still, and an empty laugh came out from my chapped lips.

“I guess it doesn’t matter after all. With me gone, at the very least my family has to worry less. My younger brother can have my portions of food. Mom and dad will give them to him. He’s only six, you know? If he doesn’t eat properly, it’s going to affect his growth.”

“Elaine…”

Whatever he was going to say, he was interrupted by the sound of the door opening. Within a second, Lucas positioned himself in front of me, covering me from sight. I was confused, until I heard the voice of the person that had entered.

“I see she has gotten comfortable.”

“She has, older brother.”

Ah, Mathias was finally here. Was he going to say his father denied his request and I had to go back to the cell? If so, at least let me finish my salmon.

When I turned my head, I could only see Lucas’ back obstructing my sight of the entrance door and thus, Mathias. Then, looking down, I saw his right hand inconspicuously turned in my direction, a handkerchief there.

Oh, right, wouldn’t like to let Mathias see my crying face. I took the handkerchief and quickly dabbed at my cheeks. Only after I gave it back to him, Lucas got out of the way.

Mathias looked me up and down, just like his brother had done when he entered, but unlike him, his face revealed nothing. For some reason, that made me feel more uncomfortable than Lucas’ obvious pity.

He didn’t pay much attention to me though, instantly looking back at his brother.

“Father has agreed.”

My mouth hung open in astonishment. I could even feel the surprise emanating from Lucas. And then, the excitement.

“Thank you so much, Mathias!” he exclaimed, actually running in his brother’s direction to give him a crushing hug. Mathias didn’t look bothered by it, instead enveloping him in his arms and giving him a gentle pat on the head.

“The conditions are obvious, though. She will be watch over night and day, with a guard outside her door and another below the balcony at all times. She can’t leave the room unless accompanied by one of us, and…” he took a step back, releasing himself from Lucas’ hug, and raised his head to look at me. His eyes were serious, but not menacing. Even though, I still felt a chill going down my spine. “If she manages to run away, somehow, the blame will be only yours, Lucas, and you’ll have to pay for it” he turned his eyes to his younger brother again, his expression softening. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t convince father otherwise.”

“It doesn’t matter. I’m the one who wanted to get her out of the cell in the first place. I will take responsibility, so don’t worry!”

Despite his bright words, I could detect the slight shakiness in Lucas’ voice. Mathias sighed, mussing his hair affectionately despite the younger boy’s protests, and then, once again looked at me.

Please stop doing that, every time he does I feel like years are extracted from my life.

“I’m sorry I didn’t introduce myself earlier. My name is Mathias de la Rosa, first son of Viscount de la Rosa. You are?”

“Elaine. Just… Elaine” I said, dumbfounded upon his new polite demeanor.

He nodded, putting a hand on Lucas’ shoulder and guiding him outside the room, despite the boy’s protests. Just before closing the door, he looked at me one last time, and uttered in the still robotic and polite voice he used before; “Welcome to our humble estate, and I hope you enjoy your time here… esteemed guest.”

And with that he closed the door, leaving me completely alone.

 

End of Chapter 1.

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