It was difficult to breathe.

Lucas must have felt the tension in the air as well, because he was doing his absolute best to stir his brother’s attention from me, but even as Mathias was happily chatting with Lucas, I could still feel his eyes going to me every now and then. I felt suffocated.

He heard me. Probably heard everything I’ve said to Lucas since I started asking him about the ritual. It was so not fair. I truly felt bad for making Lucas those types of questions, it wasn’t my intention to hurt him but it was an unavoidable consequence of my plan to escape. However, Mathias must not see it that way. I perfectly understood his anger, as if I ever caught anyone talking that way to Thomas I would immediately cut their tongues for even trying to hurt my little brother in the first place. And it was exactly for that reason I was so scared.

I pursed my lips, avoiding his gaze and concentrating only on my own cup. What was I doing? Why was I so scared of him? He was just a child, and I was already an adult, though only mentally. Still, he was stronger than me, and Sebastian was with him. I had no idea what he would do. He was so protective of his younger brother. I couldn’t even count the number of people he injured because they tried something against Lucas in the manga.

“So, Elaine” I heard him say my name all of a sudden. My hair stood on end in trepidation. He was sitting right next to me, occupying the space between Lucas and me. I slowly turned to look at him.

“Yes?” I mentally patted myself on the back for not stuttering. I left my cup on the plate and laid my hands against my lap to keep the trembling hidden from him. However, he must have noticed my dread anyway, because he smiled, mockingly, arrogantly, before saying in a smooth voice.

“I’ve come to realize that, despite all the time you’ve been staying at the mansion, you and I haven’t really had a good talk until now. I find it especially aggravating since you’ve been hanging around Lucas so much. So, I would be happy if you allowed me the pleasure of your conversation as well.”

“Of course” I answered, one part bewildered and another confused. The pleasure of my conversation? Aggravating? In the first place, he never took the time to come talk to me, unlike Lucas. And second, what was he planning? He very clearly said he ordered Lucas not to get close to me, and now he was acting as if I was an actual guest on this house and finding time to talk with every member of their family was expected of me. I got on guard instantly, keeping my eyes fixed on him. It took every ounce of willpower I had not to look away, but I was definitely not letting him scare me anymore.

He smiled, seeing my attempt at defiance, and I felt so small and frustrated he could induce these emotions on me.

“Then, tell me, where do you come from? I know you’re from the southern region but I wasn’t told which district specifically.”

I blinked, briefly glancing at Sebastian, standing behind him like a shadow. My gesture was a clear indication for him to ask his butler instead of me, but Mathias ignored it, smiling at me and patiently waiting for my reply. Now I was the one feeling aggravated. “Tosca… sir.”

“Oh, please call me Mathias. I heard you calling Lucas by name, and it would sadden me not to receive the same treatment.”

What do I care about your feelings?

“Ok, Mathias.”

Ugh, I was so weak.

“You look very young too, how old are you?”

“Eleven.”

“Ah, a child” he made a dismissive gesture with his hand. I frowned. “So Tosca, huh? I heard it was the most affected district after last year’s storms swept over the country. My condolences for you and your family. Seeing your condition, I can tell it took a real toll on you.”

Oh, so this is what he was doing. He was trying to hurt me. Sly boy. I gave him my best fake smile. “It has been quite difficult, Mathias, but my family is getting by. Although” I changed my expression, acting confused; “I must say I’m astounded. Despite the extensive damage down in the south, this place doesn’t seem to have been affected much. I was under the impression the local lord was having a rough time as well, as no consolation or aid party ever came, but now I can see you had more urgent matters in your hands” I pressed a hand on my cheek, tilting my head and glaring at him from under my eyelashes. “The planning of a pagan ritual must be truly taxing, especially when taking into consideration it has to be done secretly. Who knows what the king would do if he found out one of his vassals took part in illegal activities.”

Lucas hung his head, suddenly very interested on the contents of his cup, but Mathias kept smiling, taking the full force of my attack head on. He chuckled.

“What can I say? Things haven’t been easy around here either. I mean, it’s not the same as a natural disaster taking away the livelihood of a family, but the life of the mistress of the house might still be enough of a tragedy to maintain us occupied.”

I felt my eyes growing bigger, and my mouth falling open. So their mother died because of the heavy storms from last year? How? Even my family, isolated as it was, suffered minimal damages during the storms. The aftereffects though, those were the real problem.

Regardless of how tragic it was though, it was a weak reason to excuse their neglect to the southern region. I was ready to tell him just that when he talked again, rudely interrupting me.

“But we aren’t talking about my family, we’re talking about you. Elaine, I’m really curious. What kind of life did you live there? With your family? Do you have any siblings? What about your parents? I’m asking because it would be useful to have an idea of the magnitude of things there and also because extra information about the usual life conditions of their inhabitants would allow me to create a better plan of action. I assume you are a farmer’s daughter, or that is not right? I can’t think of any merchant’s or shopkeeper’s daughter being as affected as you seem to be, as I imagine conditions in the city must be much better than in the countryside.”

I could feel my eyebrows twitching. I forced myself to smile, but my voice trembled a little when I answered. “Why, yes, I am a farmer’s daughter. Our life conditions were quite excellent before the storms, so I apologize for my current appearance. Though you are running under an erroneous assumption, I’m afraid.”

“Oh, why is that?”

His voice was deceptively innocent, as if he really was curious. I pressed my nails against my palms. “Though conditions in the countryside are dire, they are as well in the city. You see, if farms don’t produce enough crops, the whole market stops functioning. If there is no raw material to work with, material that, by the way, it’s most often than not offered by the tenants, then there is no industry. Without industry, there’s no work. And without work, people hunger and suffer. Quite a simple concept, no?”

“Simple indeed. Thanks to you, Elaine, now everything is clear. I’m glad I was able to talk to you about this” he just wouldn’t stop smiling! What was his problem?!

“Don’t worry Mathias, I’m glad I could explain this to you in such a way even a sheltered boy like you could understand. I know it must be a difficult concept for people like you, but as long as you get it, then everything’s good.”

My attempt at getting to him failed, for his expression remained the same. I no longer felt fear towards him. I was annoyed, annoyed beyond belief. When is he going to leave?

“It was truly appreciated. Now, since you seem to know so much about these things, what do you think we should do to resolve the problem? I was thinking that refining the water could help with the excess of magnesium, though it would be a long process that might not bear satisfying results in the end. In fact, I’ve even been trying some methods here with a few of my inventions, but the main problem resides in how to prevent the magnesium from reaching dangerous levels again. Nothing to keep the soil to leak out more, you see.”

At his words, I remained silent. I was surprised. Was he really trying to solve the problem with the water? Had he been trying this whole year? Part of me was skeptical, but another, a very small one, knew his words to be true. After all, Mathias was an inventor, and although he could be malicious it wasn’t in his nature to let people suffer when he could do something about it. So this was him reproaching me for accusing him of doing nothing to help his own people.

I bit my lip, searching for the right words, but Mathias spoke again, shrugging his shoulders with that same infuriating calm expression. “That’s to solve the root problem, of course, but secondary solutions had been administered already. People don’t suffer, unlike you think, Elaine.”

I frowned, confused. “What do you mean? What secondary solutions? As far as I know, people are still suffering the consequences of last year’s disaster.”

“And this people you mention, does it extend to the city or even your neighbors?”

“Mathias” Lucas cut with an edge on his voice that had me reeling from anxiousness. Just… what was going on?

“Lucas, don’t interrupt when I’m talking to someone, it’s rude” he easily dismissed his brother and turned to look at me again. With his eyes fixed on mine, he asked again. “So, who are this people you know?”

“What… my family, of course…”

“What about others?”

“Others?” I blinked, stupefied. I tried remembering. “Well, they’re not good either, but their lands weren’t as affected… and the city… it’s been a while since I went there. We don’t have much motive to go since we don’t produce enough to sell but the last time…” I halted momentarily, then, I looked at him again. “What does this have to do with anything? What are you trying to say?”

“It’s nothing, he’s saying nothing important” Lucas desperately interceded, but I barely listened. Mathias shrugged, bringing his cup to his lips leisurely before answering.

“It means your family was the only one we didn’t send help to. Makes it easier to buy you if they don’t have anything in the first place.”

Oh.

Oh.

“YOU SON OF A BITCH!” I threw myself at him, practically throwing the table with all the plates and sweets on the ground, but unfortunately, I was caught before I could reach that delicate looking hair or those insufferable eyes to pull it off or gouge them out. I let out a yelp of pain as my arm was forcibly pulled behind my back, constricting my movements and preventing me from touching him. I struggled, seeing red, but I did not stop shouting. “You find it funny?! You think it’s funny leaving a whole family starving for a whole year?! Just what did I ever do to you?! Why does it have to be me?! WHY?!”

Mathias didn’t answer. He put down his cup and stood up. Then, he looked at me, and I saw in his eyes something that made me even madder. Pity. It was the same pity Lucas showed yesterday when he wanted to give me more food. It was pity from a man who felt guilty for his actions, but did not regret them.

I hated him. “Fuck you! I hope you die! I hope your whole family falls to ruin with you!”

Before I could keep cursing him, my face was shoved on the table, my arm pressed even more tightly. I screamed. In pain, in impotence, I did no longer know. I just kept trashing and cussing with everything I got.

“Sebastian, that’s enough. You’re going to break her arm if you keep this up” Mathias said, turning around and starting to walk towards the door. The pressure on my arm lessened, but I was still trapped. I could feel tears rolling down my cheeks. “It might not be much, but for everything is worth, I really wish things would have been different.”

“Liar!”

“Think whatever you want. Lucas, Sebastian, Emily. Let’s go.”

It took a moment, but eventually I heard footsteps getting away from the balcony and into the room. Sebastian was the last to leave, letting me go when I no longer had any energy to fight. I heard the door close, and only then my legs slid to the floor, my forehead resting on the table while my knees supported me. I cried bitterly, loudly, for the first time since recovering my memories feeling like there was no hope left at all.

 

Someone knelt next to me.

“Elaine” it was Lucas.

“Fuck off.”

“Elaine” he repeated, and I felt his hand on my shoulder. I aggressively shoved him away from me, before crawling as far as the balcony allowed me. His face was filled with sorrow, but in that moment it furthered my fury like nothing else.

“Did you not hear your brother?! Leave! Go with him, you treacherous, low, disgusting little-!”

“It’s not what you think!”

“It’s not what I think?” I snorted. “You knew, didn’t you? You knew and still had the face to act all nice with me. I hope you all end in hell. I sincerely can’t understand how any of you could become a hero, regardless of your circumstances!”

“I…” although he looked confused at what I said, he didn’t dwell on it. He sighed. “I’m not going to deny I knew, but only just recently. I found out just a little before you were brought, actually” he laughed, an empty sound that would have moved me in the past, but not anymore. “It’s not… it’s not something I could tell you out of the blue, right? And… there was nothing I could have done at this point to change it. But your family’s fine now. They’re receiving help. Mathias saw to that as soon as you arrived.”

“Fuck you” that was the only thing I had to say to him. I didn’t care if now they were helping my family, that didn’t take away that whole year we had to pass counting our ever diminishing money, calculating the portions so everyone in the house could eat, wondering if the next day was going to be the day we finally had to sell the farm and live in destitution… nothing could ever make it better.

Lucas’ lips trembled, but he bit them, keeping them immobile. He tried getting closer again, but I flinched away, and he didn’t move anymore. I was still crying, and he looked way more fixated on my tears than I would have liked, but at this point, did it even matter?

And then, something fundamental changed. It was as if the air stirred, because Lucas’ eyes shifted from utter self-loathing to determination. I could only look, wary, as he stood up and glanced at me, his fists clenching at his sides. With a voice full of confidence, he uttered a few words, words that left me completely stunned.

“Elaine, I will help you escape this place. I promise you upon my honor as a noble, you’re not going to die. I won’t allow it!”

We continued staring at each other, Lucas not changing his expression and me just looking at him incredulously. It was a very long moment until I could feel my muscles responding to me again. I slowly stood up, walked up to the table where he was standing, and confronted him face to face.

It was then I grabbed the teapot from the table and poured the still warm contents over his head. To hell with his promise. As far as I was concerned, nobles had no honor.

 

End of Chapter 2.