"Let's go get lunch. I hear our Blacksmith course Head went outside to get some iron sand from the desert in the south east and captured an iron worm. Since it's too big, they are giving it away for 3 copper coins per kilo. You want to see who can eat more, Brill?"
"Raw or do they cook it? I'm assuming they made dishes from it. Is the per kilo only the meat or the whole dish. I won't pay 3 copper coins for a couple hundred pounds of meat and the rest soup water."
"Please don't ignore me!!! Please help me!! My love life is on the line!"
"Oh that sounds like a problem. What if they made a sandwich but most of the weight is the bread? Let's see when we get there."
"You should have thought of this when you heard the news. This should be common sense. I can't believe it, you are more of a muscle brain than I thought."
"Alright, alright. Let me off this time and let's just get there and see. No matter what it is only 3 copper coins."
".....please help me...."

No matter how much you plead, you already know the answer. We have been talking for a month so you know our personalities. Anyway a kilo for 3 copper coins sounds like amazing. It doesn't matter how much they call it a worm since if it is too big that they sell the thing by the kilo, it would look like meat not the small squiggly thing. At the very least I don't have to worry about the bones or the innards.

"Wait, wait, wait. How about I pay for today's lunch. Eat all you can and you help me."
"Brother!! If you are going to fight for your honour. How could you forget to tell it to this combat expert victor here? I, as your friend, will go through with you through thick and thin."
"Since you are paying then I will help as much as I eat."

I can't believe you victor. He is treating us to a discounted meat, why waste flowery words for something that can be bough 3 copper per kilo? Not to mention we can't directly help him in the match. Well, I take it back. He can help by being the one who uses the knife. He is the combat expert so I assume among the three of us he is the best one to slice through the hardening potions effect.

What should I do to help though? I don't really want to make the knife in his place. A knife that can slice through a hardening potions effect will sell for at least 30-50 copper coins so unless I eat 30 kilo of meat I won't feel like I won. Just like a buffet in Earth that cost about $25 I won't feel like I spent my money wisely unless I ate $80 worth of food.

"What do you need us to do? You can leave to slicing to victor but you still have to make the knife you know."
"Of course I would still make it. We submitted a form from the head of her house so we can't cheat. The head of her house is amazing you know. He knows about everything that happens in his turf, if we cheat then he would ask someone to clean me up the moment I had the gall to present it at the actual date of the duel."
"Okay, okay. Are you really into that girl or you want the power of the head for your business?"
"Both!"

Shameless greedy merchant.

"Victor, go ahead to the cafeteria and order some of the meat ahead of time. Otherwise it might be sold out the moment we get there. This guy can't run fast enough."
"Ok! You brainy people strategize while I go ahead and eat. Don't run out of me. I don't have a lot of money."

Ok the food should be safe for now.

"So, is there a chance I could talk you out of liking this girl and avoiding this annoying duel?"
"How rude, I happen to like her very much. I won't back down."
"Tell me about your opponent."
"He is also a first year like me so he should still be a newbie otherwise I won't accept the challenge. Not only are we competing for love, we also put down 100 silver coins to make the competition more spicy."
"When making a knife you barely finish on time and you want to make things spicy? *sigh* OK, what are the rules that supposed head told both of you. Since we can't cheat, let's find some kind of loophole to work around this problem. A newbie smith, who hasn't even completed a finished knife can't possibly win against an alchemist newbie. You know they start with making hardening potions in lessons. They use it to strengthen themselves in case of explosions. They practically make it at the start of every lessons, every day before doing anything. It's also easy to make so much that I can do it after hearing the recipe and procedure once."
"I have the power of love with me."

*thwack*

"ouch..... I'm sorry. The Head didn't actually mention much. He only said that we will compete by two weeks from now. He has to make a hardening potion and I have to make a knife. If I can wound him while under the effect of the hardening potion I win, I lose otherwise. We have to make our items ourselves. That's it."
".......I can't believe you. If you said that from the start then we would have finished this from the start. We can't kill him, we can't prevent him from making the potion or submitting it since the head is expecting a competition from the two of you. The only way left is to sabotage the potion he is making. Add something in the ingredients or replace some of them with really inferior materials. It's either that or talk him out of it, with force. Good luck, lets eat."
"How am I supposed to do that?"
"Pay someone to do it."
"Isn't this why I'm buying the two of you lunch?"
"Victor is the one slashing, I'm the one who gave you the idea. We have our part and you need to do your part too. Ask around on who can do it and make the knife while you wait. Everything will fail if you can't even make a completed knife. Now stop talking and hurry before the meat runs out, you know how aggressive the miners and army are when it comes to eating right?"

That was a nice transaction, speaking a few lines and I earned enough for lunch. It doesn't even matter if he wins or loses since I would be paid, right now.

"Oi! Brill, Chatterbox! I got us a table near the front. Hurry up and pay so we can eat!"

Whoa! That thing is huge. I can't believe the Blacksmith Head Sophie smashed that and dragged it all the way here from the desert. It's as big as an elephant but as long as a train. I guess we didn't have to worry about this thing being sold out.

"That is big, Victor prepare to eat until you can't move. By the way, I see the staff in front slicing it but aren't they going to cook it?"
"Ah, they don't cook it. There is a barbecue pit at the center of the table. The inventor king made it inspired by something called koh-ri-ann bbq. If you don't like it that then there are metal plates in the table too where you can cook it, the inventor also made it inspired by oh-mi-ya-ki table."

At least that hero is honest enough to mention the source of his ideas. Korean barbecue and the other must be hibachi? No, wait, since no one is cooking for us does that still count as hibachi? Okonomiyaki is the one where you cook it yourself right? I saw it from sports anime, where they go eat after a match.

"Good, since we are in front then we can order more. Chatterbox start ordering, 10 kilo for me and have them slice 5 kilo thin for bbq and the rest into steak sizes."
"I'll also start with 10 kilo. Don't bother cutting it, I have a dagger with me."
"...*sigh* I guess I have no choice. Make sure you help me with the duel. Ah, yes, I would like 5 kilo of meat sliced thinly and....."

I can't wait to eat. There shouldn't be fat on the giant worm right? Even if there are, it should only be so little that I can neglect them. Like a snake, it moves with all of it's body so it's basically burning fat every time it moves a bit. It seems like the staff removes the skin so it might be inedible.

"Here you go, now while we wait for it to cook can you please help me solidify the plan. My love life is on the line, you know."
"Alright, just plop my meat here and listen."
"So you already have a plan, that was quick. Ah, give me my meat already, I still have to slice it."
"Yeah, we plan to,,,,,hey move your meat on that or I will eat that,,,, we plan to have you use the knife and, to make sure he wins, we plan to sabotage the materials of the alchemist. He has to find someone to do it and we are done. Hmm, this is fully cooked."

Ah, how tasty. It's a bit plain since there isn't any seasonings but tasty nonetheless. I just with I don't have to worry about cooking. I'll just dump a huge load of meat and eat it in one go.

"Chatterbox that meat is mine. Keep your hands off that or I will chop it off. I know someone who could help us, there is this fellow from a bar at the city who could help you do some shady stuff for a bit of a price."
"You heard him, go there and hire the fellow. Oh, victor you have some salt, pass some to me."
"Here don't use it all, ah wait. Since he is paying for lunch wouldn't that mean he is paying for all the expenses including the seasoning?.....The guy at the bar usually sits randomly so ask the bartender for help. The passphrase is 'I feel so horny, I might do some shady things at a place hidden from view, can you recommend me a companion', don't say it out loud or the bartender will have to throw you out as some kind of lunatic, just whisper it softly after ordering a drink."
"..........I don't think I could say that."
"Don't be picky since it's your own love life on the line. I finished my portion of meat so go back and buy more. Make it 50 kilo this time, Cut it the same as before. How about you victor?"
"Ah, same like you. Can you also ask them if they have salt and pepper. I'm out."
"...You two sure do eat a lot. I can't believe I am the fat one in the group when I eat the least. Wait a bit, I haven't finished eating mine."
"That's because you are the only one that doesn't exercise among the three of us. Victor trains and spars everyday and I exercise and work out everyday too. The most time you move is only during the Smithing classes."

I think I could eat at least a couple hundred kilo today, maybe.