They just laid in silence for a moment, as the small cave slowly warmed up. Snow’s body temperature could be naturally lower than normal and he could even be more resistant to the cold than other people, but he still enjoyed feeling warm more than anything else. After all, he’d been cold most of his life. It felt really nice to be warm for a change.
“Who were the people you were talking to, back at Woodbridge?”
The sudden question caught Snow so off guard that he even forgot to breathe, his entire body going immediately rigid. Of course ZaiWin1Literally zai (blade) + win (chaos). would ask, he immediately chastised himself for not having thought about that. But so much had happened in so little time that he still hadn’t had the chance to think things through and reorganize his own thoughts.
“A boy and a girl,” he replied, quickly trying to decide what he should and should not say, and the fingers gently playing with his hair halted all movement.
“A boy and a girl?”
Snow nodded.
“The boy was a little older than me. The girl about five or six years of age. They met me when I went to see if there was something left from what used to be my house, under the bridge. They said that they had been looking for me for a long time. And they knew … what I am.”
“They knew you are a Celestial?!” ZaiWin immediately asked in disbelief, slightly raising his voice, and Snow nodded.
“They said that they were trying to … free all Celestials. They said that Tien’Elhar2Literally tien (Heaven) + el (supreme) + har (girl child). The Heavenly Beings also known as Celestials in the common language. are treated like slaves, that many times we were just used and then killed, and that we didn’t need to be bound to someone else, in order to live and fulfill our mission of blessing the land.”
“And you believed them?”
“Well, I have been living without a bond until now … I know that Tien’Elhar are supposed to select their Chosen Ones at a very young age, but doesn’t that happen only because the ones in charge decided it must be so?”
ZaiWin pressed his lips to the top of his head and took a deep breath.
No. No, it wasn’t. In fact it was exactly the contrary. If left on their own, Celestials would probably select a Chosen One even earlier then that, reason why the Temple made them wear bracelets like the one VinWei3Literally vin (hard) + wei (crystal) had given him. And it wasn’t as if Snow had lived all his life completely unbound either, he added with a thought, recalling the small, filthy boy that had helped him. And yet he didn’t seem to recognize him at all, ZaiWin considered for a moment. Of course at the time he’d been only a twelve-years-old brat himself. Had he really changed that much? What would Snow say if he were to tell him that in fact, he had chosen him all those years ago? He’d probably feel even more cheated, ZaiWin concluded, even less in control of his own life. Even though he had never put it into words, Snow’s pale eyes would always grow colder, every time someone reminded him that he had been the one to choose him, and that no one had forced him to do so. If he were to tell him that he’d actually bound himself to him when he was just a child, that he had done so trying to help some strange kid by feeding him muddy roots that were supposed to heal him, he’d feel even more aggrieved about the whole thing than he already felt.
“And then they took you to that place?” he pressed on and Snow sighed.
“They told me that they knew of a way to … free me.”
Anger boiled in ZaiWin’s chest at the sound of those words.
“Free you?! You were dying!”
“They also told me that that might happen.”
“And you were okay with that??”
“At first I wasn’t. But then … I am just one person. But your Province has thousands of people. How could I insist on holding on to my life, when doing so might mean that so many others would perish? Besides, there was a chance I might survive. And I knew you wanted to get rid of me, that you would kill me anyway if you couldn’t find a way to break the bond. At least like this I still had a chance.”
ZaiWin froze at the sound of those words. So he had known all along. Always silent, always looking scared and unsure, too young to understand certain things … He had been led to believe that Snow was just a poor, innocent kid. Sure, he had long ago concluded that he had a strong will and a mind of his own, even though he never allowed any of that to show for too long. But, even so, ZaiWin hadn’t been able to perceive that Snow had been able to see so far into that problem, so far into his own mind.
“I …” He wanted to deny it, to tell him that he was thinking too much. But the sight of that sea of unruly silver hair immediately defeated his deceiving intentions.
“It’s true that I thought that killing you may be the only option. But I never really wished for you to die. If I could choose, I’d much rather set you free and allow you to happily live your life somewhere else. You may have been the one to start all this, but the reason why things are so complicated has nothing to do with you. In fact, if you ask me, you couldn’t have chosen worse,” he added with a small dry laugh. “It wouldn’t be fair to make you pay for something completely unrelated to you, just because you were suddenly dragged into some unfortunate situation.”
“You all say it was my choice, and so I will take responsibility for making it and try to live by it till the end,” Snow solemnly declared. “You all say that Tien’Elhar are supposed to be a blessing, especially to the land of their Chosen One. What kind of blessing am I if, in order for me to live, the people I am supposed to bless are forced to die in my stead?”
ZaiWin pulled away from him and held his chin, making him look up at him. As he’d expected, his pale eyes had that cold, detached glow about them again.
“I get it. And I swear to you that, if nothing else, I will never allow that to happen. I will kill you myself if it ever comes to that.”
Snow looked into those piercing blue eyes and knew without a doubt that ZaiWin would unquestionably abide by those words.
“And you will die with me,” he added, a deep sorrow twisting his insides, and ZaiWin nodded without a second thought.
“And I will die with you. So, until then, won’t you fight and struggle by my side until our last breath?”
Snow felt his heart ache. He could clearly see the harsh, thorny path those blue eyes were offering him. And yet this man was his Chosen One. Powerful, arrogant, domineering, imposing, a cold and dark monster, and yet someone willing to sacrifice himself for those who believed in him, for what he believed to be the right thing to do. For a moment he felt exactly as he used to feel, every time he had to face the dark, shapeless monster that he was. That overwhelming sensation that made his heart tremble in fear and something more that he couldn’t quite name. Awe, maybe … As if he were facing an untamed force of nature, deadly and destructive but, at the same time, strangely alluring and captivating. He could fight against many things. Hunger, cold, pain, sorrow, shame. But he would never be able to fight against this …
“I will fight by your side until our last breath,” Snow finally repeated, and a bright, almost boyish smile took over that usually cold face, leaving him staring at him, completely dazed. So he could actually smile like that …
Before he could react, ZaiWin had already wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer again, nestling his chin atop his head. Without another word, taking a deep breath of contentment, he simply fell asleep.
Happier now?
might be will
uhm...what?
Definitely ororororo there
