ZaiWin¹Literally zai (blade) + win (chaos). took a deep breath and clearly seemed to hesitate about something.

“Lastly … they will test your purity,” he finally declared, a strange expression on his face, and Snow tilted his head to one side, again confused.

Taking another deep breath, ZaiWin sighed, clearly uncertain about continuing with his explanation, which was a really strange attitude, coming from someone as determined as him.

“I know you don’t like remembering it, much less talk about it,” he clearly forced himself to go on, and the careful way he was choosing his words made Snow cautiously apprehensive.

“Back when you were kept in that room ...”

Snow’s pale eyes immediately became cold, hard ice at the mere mention of that.

ZaiWin grounded his teeth. Hearing others mentioning that subject was enough to leave his stomach turning, a hot, burning fury that no longer could be satisfied making ZaiWin's blood boil. Of course he hated even more having to ask about it. Worse even was the possibility that Snow might actually confirm VinWei²Literally vin (hard) + wei (crystal)’s and ZenTar³Literally zen (silent) + tar (wind)’s suppositions. Especially now, that he knew that he could have kept him safe, if he had only held on to him, ten years ago. Still, he really had to know. And so he steeled his heart and tried his best to spit out the question he had been avoiding for a long time now.

“I know that woman was selling you blood. But … did she ever sell you … for anything else?”

Snow’s cold hands lost all strength as if he’d just relaxed, except that his gaze became even colder, his face losing all its expressiveness. It was as if ZaiWin had gone back in time, and was once more staring at the skinny boy wrapped in bandages that Snow had been, staring blankly and motionlessly into nothing.

His heart beating harder with regret, ZaiWin still carefully inspected the Snow’s face, trying to find any sign that at least he understood what he meant. But there was nothing there, except for that blank stare.

“I know this is … very hard for you. But it’s also very important,” he pressured on, the words tasting bitter in his mouth. “Because if you fail the …”

“There were rules,” Snow suddenly whispered, and ZaiWin went immediately quiet, once more steeling himself for what he might be about to hear. “She would constantly repeat them, every time someone came,” Snow declared and, to ZaiWin's surprise, he started reciting them.

“Never try to remove his collar. Never unbind his hands and feet. Never feed him or give him anything to drink. Never tell him anyone’s names, your's included. The miraculous blood is to be consumed here. Taking some of it with you requires an extra fee. Cuts must be superficial and made with a clean blade. Cutting his face is strictly forbidden. Any kind of sexual activity is not permitted,” Snow stated, his voice completely void of any trace of emotion.

And although ZaiWin didn’t feel good at all, forcing him to relive those things, he was, at the same time, inwardly relieved. So that woman had actually tried to preserve him, in her selfish, self-serving, twisted way. On second thought, who wouldn’t? She was probably afraid he might get sick and die, and then she’d be left without her precious source of income.

Snow lowered his gaze, and the light tremble that coursed through his body left ZaiWin alert. He was biting his lower lip again, and when he suddenly stopped doing so ZaiWin knew there was something else.

“There were rules. But … she was never there …”

ZaiWin’s heart almost stopped at the sound of those barely audible words.

“Sometimes they would … kiss me …” Snow went on, clearly forcing each and every word out of his mouth. “Once … a man … made me drink something that burned all the way to my stomach … Another time … a woman stabbed me three times … I almost died. There was this fat man … he would lick me before cutting me … he would lick … everywhere. Even my feet. It really … made my skin crawl. It made me feel sick … but I was always so weak that I couldn’t even throw-up.”

Two heavy warm tears fell on ZaiWin’s hands, startling him awake. His mind had gone completely blank at the sound of those words. So much so he hadn’t even noticed how much Snow’s shoulders were shaking.

“A woman, once … touched me … down there … she also … licked …” A sudden, violent sob cut his words, and Snow went back to bitting his lower lip.

More warm tears fell on ZaiWin’s hands.

“Others did it too … I … really … hated it … It felt bad … wrong ... It was sickening and frightening … It hurt …”

ZaiWin released Snow's hands and wrapped his arms around him, squeezing him against his chest. He couldn’t take it anymore. Not Snow’s pain and tears, but even less the sound of those words. But the moment Snow felt himself trapped inside his arms he immediately tried to push him back, his cold hands pressed against his chest.

“That’s enough! I’m sorry I asked,” ZaiWin honestly admitted, refusing to let go of that trembling body, and Snow’s muffled sobs reached his ears, leaving him angry at himself for making him cry like that. Besides their life-or-death situation in that icy cavern, or as a result of being transported back into his memories, no matter what he had put him through or what horrible things he had said to him, Snow had never shed a single tear. He most certainly had never cried like that. ZaiWin really hated himself for being the cause of it.

“Let go!” his small muffled voice demanded between shattering sobs, but ZaiWin easily resisted his strength, when Snow tried to push him back again. “Didn’t you say so yourself? That I’m just a little whore that spent ten years of my life serving whoever paid highest?”

The sound of those angry, pained words made ZaiWin’s blood freeze in his veins and his heart ache. When he’d said those words he’d been in one of his fits of rage. He had been feeling frustrated and unfairly pressed against a wall. He still hadn't been able to see how important that silent brat had become to him. It most certainly had never crossed his mind that Snow might be listening.

“I … didn't mean it … I am really sorry …” He hugged Snow even tighter, and his strength was so overwhelming that Snow had no other choice but to stop fighting him in defeat.

“I’m sorry … I’m really sorry …” he kept repeating, and the small hands that had kept pushing him away squeezed his tunic instead, the sobs sounding even more muffled as Snow tried to stop crying.

They could all be damned!, ZaiWin decided, hardly capable to control his anger, while gently caressing Snow's soft hair as if that could somehow undo the hurt he’d cause him. If they wanted to know if he could pass that stupid purity test they would have to wait and see like everyone else! He was never going to ask him about such a thing again! And he was not going to allow anyone else to do it either!

Snow had been six-years-old, when that woman had taken him. The same age ZaiWin had been, when he’d been cast out, sent to that cold, ruined citadel. The difference was that ZaiWin had ZenTar to protect him, to care for him, to watch over him, to teach him. Snow had no one, except a cold-blooded woman that had chained such a small child to a bed, drugged him, and sold his blood to the highest bidder. She hadn’t even taken the time to keep an eye on her clients, making sure her own rules were followed. Of course there must have been a few sick bastards that couldn’t help taking advantage when presented with such an opportunity. He wished he could kill them all a thousand times over again!

Of course ZaiWin had known, since the first time Snow had kissed him, that he was hardly inexperienced in that. That mere knowledge already annoyed him more than words could tell. Thinking that, even though he was so young, he was also probably experienced in … other things as well, was more than enough to almost drive him insane with fury.

In time, the hands that had been tightly squeezing his clothes slowly lost their strength, and ended up sliding down ZaiWin's chest. Snow's head too, fell heavier against his chest. And the shaky sobs were replaced by slow, deep, breaths.

ZaiWin gently caressed his head and slowly tried to take a peek at his face. As he’d expected, already too tired, Snow had cried himself to sleep. In truth, the fact that he’d held on so long was already amazing, ZaiWin sighed. Still, ZaiWin's heart felt a bit less rilled and a lot warmer, at the thought that, even after hurting him so much, Snow apparently still trusted him enough to fall asleep in his arms.

Making sure Snow’s cloak remained wrapped around his shoulders, ZaiWin slipped both hands beneath his arms and, bending his legs, simply picked him up, sitting on his arm, Snow’s legs flanking his waist.

Snow mumbled a protest against the sudden movement, but quickly nestled his head on his shoulder and went back to sleep.

He was really too tired, ZaiWin thought with a small smile. Well, after jumping around all day long he too was in need of some rest, he admitted to himself before taking them both out of that place.

He needed to make three consecutive jumps before he finally arrived at End of the World. Even though making jumps one after another could be exhausting, nothing could compare with the resulting strain of forcing himself to cover more distance that he was able to, like he’d done before.

Making them reappear just outside the village’s entrance tunnel, he crossed it in silence, the sound of the warm breathing caressing his neck the only thing he could hear. Until he exited on the other side.

The man standing guard near the entrance immediately jumped in alarm at the sight of him, and ran away, as if he were some unearthly creature or a living corpse returned from the dead.

ZaiWin took a deep breath, walking towards the village, knowing beforehand who must have inspired such fear on the poor man.

As to be expected, it didn’t take long before ZenTar was right there, marching towards him with a furious expression on his face.

“What the …”

“Shh!” ZaiWin quickly hushed him, and ZenTar pursed his lips, although it only made him look even angrier. “Don’t wake him up,” ZaiWin whispered, trying to make use of the fact that Snow was sleeping to escape what would most certainly be a long, fierce scolding, and ZenTar frowned.

“Where were you? What happened to him?!” ZenTar demanded, trying his best to keep his furious voice under control, and ZaiWin gently pulled Snow upward, making sure he held on to him. Even though Snow was shorter and lighter than most grown-up men, he was still considerably bigger than a child to be carried like this.

“Nothing happened. He’s just tired. I’ll tell you everything later,” ZaiWin declared, walking past him, but ZenTar was immediately glued to his heels.

“You dared use that shitty trick to hide from me?” he demanded, his voice strained, and ZaiWin couldn’t help smile at how he was really trying his best not to wake up the boy. “You even used it on him? That’s why you were so insistent, wanting to return my necklace no matter what! What if something had happened? Where did you go?”

“We only went for a walk. You guys wanted me to have a talk with him. I thought a change of air would help.”

“And you couldn’t have told us??”

“Would you have allowed me to go if I had?” ZaiWin retorted and ZenTar’s scowl only deepened. “Don’t worry. Nothing happened.”

“And yet he ended up exhausted like that?”

“Nothing a good night of sleep won’t solve,” ZaiWin calmly replied, although now he was kind of fearing what ZenTar would say once he told him what had actually happened. They had to get their story together, before ZaiWin told them anything about their escape day. And maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea if they … kind of omitted the whole feimao⁴Literally fei (raging / furious) + mao (beast / monster). Raving beasts that appear in unbalanced, ungoverned lands. They possess destructive markings that in turn corrupt the land even further. Hard to explain in just 2 lines -_-; Anyway. Bad, vicious things that need to be killed. thing.

Thankfully he had finally arrived at Rain’s home, which gave him the perfect excuse to get rid of that nagging persecution.

“I’ll put him to bed. I’ll find you in a moment,” ZaiWin simply told him and pushed the door open with his shoulder, stepping into the small room.

ZenTar crossed his arms, still shooting him all kinds of angry glares, but, thank the Heavens, he didn’t follow him inside.

Rain, who had been in the kitchen, peered from the door to see who had arrived. She greeted ZaiWin with a smile, that immediately withered at the sight of the man still fuming at her door.

“Oh, welcome back, little lord. Is everything all right?” she fearfully asked, her dark gaze darting from him to ZenTar and back again, and ZaiWin gave her one of his polite smiles in return.

“Everything’s fine. Snow is a bit tired, so I’ll let him rest upstairs.”

Rain simply nodded, clearly not knowing what else to say, fearing that ZenTar’s visible anger might turn against her should she say the wrong thing. And ZaiWin quickly took advantage of that awkward atmosphere to make his way to the stairs.

Once out of ZenTar’s sight, ZaiWin couldn’t help sigh in relief. It was as if those green eyes could bore holes into his back.

Well, his anger was nothing unexpected, he told himself making his way towards their bedroom. He’d known right from the start that ZenTar would be furious, once he learned he’d left the village without saying a word, and that he wasn’t able to follow him.

Shifting Snow’s weight, he managed to momentary free one hand and open the door, stepping inside. Rain still hadn’t come to revive the red embers like she did every evening, making sure their bedroom was warm and comfortable before they returned home.

Crossing the small space towards the bed, he laid his charge on the soft mattress.

Snow frowned, clearly displeased with the sudden change of position, and immediately turned to his side, pulling his knees up against his chest into his habitual sleeping position.

ZaiWin smiled at the small human ball laying in front of him and, as delicately as possible, took off his boots and untied his cloak. Grabbing one of the blankets, he carefully covered him, afraid he might get cold, and finally sat down.

He’d told ZenTar that he’d meet them once he’d put Snow to bed, but he really didn’t feel like it, he thought with a sigh. ZenTar would undoubtedly nag him until late at night, and VinWei would bombard him with questions, wanting to know everything that had happed, every step her precious Tien’Elhar had taken, what he’d said and done.

Standing up, instead of leaving, ZaiWin walked to the door and closed it.

That could all wait, he decided, returning to the bed. He too, needed some rest. He also needed to check his daitai⁵Literally dai (light) + tai (mark), or Holly Markings, considered Heavenly Blessings. They’re the source of power. and make sure they hadn’t absorbed too much of the feimao’s corruption. Above all, after their last talk, he didn’t want Snow to wake up all alone in that bedroom. He’d done a truly terrible thing. It would seem that was all he did, where Snow was concerned. Ever since they had first met.

ZaiWin sighed, also taking off his boots.

Leaning against the wall behind him, he looked at the small human bundle sleeping right next to him and couldn’t stop himself from burying his fingers in his soft, silver hair. Snow was so deep asleep that he didn’t even stir.

He would try it VinWei’s way, ZaiWin decided. If possible, he truly wished he could make them accept that a Celestial had chosen him. If they could see Snow as a defective Celestial all the better. He would embrace all the mocking and jeering with a smile on his face. Let them make fun of him, let them despise him, and let them allow him to bring Snow back home.

But, if things didn’t work out the way VinWei had planned, then they better leave them be. Because none of them had even the smallest idea of what he was capable of, of the kind of monster they had created. Like ZenTar had taught him, in order to guarantee his survival, he had been behaving himself all these years, obeying every command thrown his way, lowering his head every time a royal crossed his path. But he would kill them all, if they so much dared touch one silver hair on that boy’s head.

Silvareiel

Hi you all!! I'm so sorry for missing yesterday's update. I had to travel for work and only arrived home at 1 am. Although I'm mostly a night howl I was so tired that I just wanted to sleep. So here is yesterday's chapter. Later today I'll upload another one to make up for it. To all of you who were waiting yesterday, I'm truly sorry ?