ZaiWin1Literally zai (blade) + win (chaos). peered sideways at him.
Snow had been mostly quiet, since VinWei2 Literally vin (hard) + wei (crystal) had objectively told him what was expected of him as Celestial, going forward. Truth be told, none of them had actually taken the time to explain such basic things to him. And, of course, Snow had no idea about the workings and intricacies of high society. It pained him to have to teach him those things, ZaiWin thought. It was almost as if that too, were a way to corrupt the bright vision Snow obviously had of the world as a whole.
Snow stopped walking, and ZaiWin immediately knew the reason behind his sudden hesitation. Waiting for them, standing by the doorway to Rain’s house, was Storm, a guilty and worried expression on her face.
Meeting her was inevitable, ZaiWin knew, since they were practically living in her house. But, before he could say anything, Snow had already raised his head, making his way straight towards her without the slightest hesitation. For once, it was ZaiWin’s turn to quicken his step in an attempt to keep up with him.
“Ermm … hi there!” Storm greeted them, waving awkwardly. She looked uncharacteristically repentant and contrite. ZaiWin wished he could simply laugh the whole matter off, allowing her to go back to her usual feisty and irreverent ways. But he didn’t dare say a word, not after all that Snow had told him just that morning.
Looking at the boy standing in front of him, ZaiWin couldn’t stop wondering about what he was going through his head, while he faced her like that. Did he hate the poor girl now? Did it hurt him having to look at her?
Storm gave him an awkward smile and nervously scratched her head.
“I heard you weren’t feeling all too well … Are you okay now?”
Snow’s dark gaze became cold and distant. If before his eyes had looked hard and detached, when he glared at people like that, now they looked creepily listless, as if all life had abandoned him and he just couldn’t care less.
“I’m fine, thank you,” he politely replied in no more than a whisper and Storm laughed nervously, glancing towards ZaiWin for a brief moment in search of some support.
ZaiWin did feel sorry for her, but didn’t dare show her anything besides his usual indifferent expression. He couldn’t help her, he knew. Or Snow would never forgive him.
“Mm, good. That’s good,” she declared, clearly not knowing what else to say. “So … about what happened yesterday … I just want you to know that …”
“I already know everything I need to know,” Snow interrupted her and ZaiWin couldn’t help glancing down at him, at the nest of disheveled silver hair that covered the back of his head. Although he couldn’t see it from where he stood, he could easily imagine it. His cold and naturally superior expression as he stared straight at her. Right then he really pitied Storm.
“Oh … well … yes, well then, that’s good then,” Storm managed to reply.
“Is that all?” Snow asked and Storm blushed, quickly nodding, obviously eager to get out of there. “Then, can you please move out of my way?”
Storm’s eyes widened and she quickly looked back, only now realizing that she was standing in front of the door, cutting their way in.
“Oh, yes. Yes, of course!” she mumbled, taking a couple of steppes to one side, and Snow firmly opened the door stepping inside.
ZaiWin sighed, silently placing a comforting hand on her shoulder before he followed him. Sure, she had been silly. But then she had always been like that. And it had been exactly her silliness that had saved him so many times, when his world was nothing but pure darkness.
Back then, Strom had been the only one brave enough to visit him, brave enough to disobey her stepfather’s words and bring him some food. And she had been the only one to actually try and make him laugh, her joyful, excited voice filling the smothering darkness that surrounded him. He could never repay her for that and, even now, her extravagant, honest personality always managed to lift his spirit a bit. Besides, how could she have guessed that things would escalate to that point? Like her mother, Storm had no daitai3Literally dai (light) + tai (mark), or holy Markings, considered Heavenly Blessings. They’re the source of power. and, even though her stepfather carried two or three markings, like some of the other men in the village, there was no way she could have foreseen that such a stupid, innocent thing like a kiss could cause so much damage. He knew all that and, based on that knowledge, he would have easily forgiven her and forgotten the whole matter, waving the whole event away as if it had all been an inconsequential prank. But Snow …
Seeing him cross the small living room towards the stairs, ZaiWin couldn’t help recalling VinWei’s words. That’s right. He too had wanted to tear MenTar4Literally men (lake) + tar (wind)’s heart out, when Snow had kissed him. Even knowing that Snow was just trying to heal him. Even knowing that MenTar was ZenTar’s little brother. Even knowing that they had known each other for years, and that MenTar had always been willing to help him out with a smile. That he had done that and more, placing his own life on the line under his command, on more than one occasion. Even so, he still had wished him dead. In fact, even now, he more or less wished he could kill him.
Storm was no one to Snow. If anything, she had openly bullied him more than once. Not to mention that she knew ZaiWin from way back then. If their roles were reversed, ZaiWin wouldn’t have run away like Snow had done. He would have walked straight at her and squeezed her neck with his bare hands until it broke. Of that much he was certain. Was Snow thinking the same way?
Snow climbed three steps and paused.
ZaiWin simply looked up at him, waiting. He wished he had pushed her back the minute she had wrapped her arms around his neck. But then he had been inconsequential as well. He had been selfish and childish. Does he love you back?, she had asked him. That brat doesn’t look like the loving kind. He’s too cold and detached. He is more the missionary type, willing to sacrifice himself for other people, like he did back on the cave. But unable to really connect with anyone in particular, much less love someone back.
Her words had easily echoed his own thoughts and they had stung more than ZaiWin cared to admit. After all, they literally reflected the thoughts and doubts he had been trying his best to erase from his head, to sweep away every time they pooped into his conscious mind. ZaiWin too, had wanted to know the answer to her question. And so he had allowed her to play out that stupid test. And he had almost killed him. Had almost lost him. He knew what they said, how some Chosen Ones were able to survive their Celestial’s death. But he would have died the instant Snow’s heart had stopped beating. Of that much he was certain.
Turning around, Snow looked at him. They were almost the same hight, for a change. In fact, Snow was a bit taller than him, standing atop the third step.
ZaiWin expected him to rightfully get angry at him again. Even though they had extensively talked about what had happened that morning, ZaiWin wasn’t an idiot to think that things would be so easily solved and forgiven.
Lowering his gaze, Snow looked uncertain, nervously chewing his lower lip.
“I’m too tired … Can’t climb the rest,” he simply stated, his voice no more than a whisper, and ZaiWin just stared at him, completely taken aback.
What? Had he heard him right? Was he trying to act like a spoiled brat now? On second thought, he doubted Snow had ever acted spoiled before in his entire life. More than that, he doubted he even knew the meaning of the word.
Looking up at his blushed cheeks, ZaiWin could barely contain his smile. There were so many unsaid desires in those words that he couldn’t help feeling a bit excited.
Blinking his daze away, ZaiWin took a step forward and climbed the two first steps, standing right in front of him.
“Shall I carry you, then?”
Still clearly unwilling to look at him, Snow nodded, and, to ZaiWin’s amazement, raised both arms, much like a small child would do, asking to be hugged or carried.
ZaiWin didn’t wait another second. Leaning down, he wrapped his arms around Snow’s legs and easily raised him from the ground. Snow gasped and quickly held on to him, his hands clenching the clothes over his shoulders.
Even though Snow felt heavier than the first time he’d carried him, he was still too light, ZaiWin thought, climbing the rest of the stairs. He felt small and fragile in his arms. And he couldn’t help thinking that VinWei was right. Such unique existence was way too precious to be carried around by the likes of him. And yet, that bright, precious being belonged to him. And not only because of some random event. Snow had chosen him. He had chosen him of his own free will. And ZaiWin had broken his heart because he needed some silly reassurance that the boy felt more than mere gratitude and admiration for him.
