RTYY 277 – A Suicidal Need
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CalRimRan sat so still that it was almost as if there was no one else in that room. And not just because he wasn’t moving. Somehow, even though FeiWan didn’t understand the first thing about that meditation crap, he could easily tell that CalRimRan was even stiller on the inside than on the outside. It reminded him of the waters of a lake that, from being so still, looked almost like a hard mirror, leading one wonder if they would be able to simply cross it on foot. CalRimRan was exactly like that, right now. And, even though the stillness and beauty of that picture didn’t go unnoticed to FeiWan’s observant eyes, he still couldn’t help wanting to shatter that flawless mirror and shake him awake.

He knew that there was a high probability that ClaRimRan was doing that because he needed, that it was probably a way to help him recover from whatever had unbalanced his health. But none of that changed the fact that, as long as he sat there, with his eyes closed like that, FeiWan was being completely ignored and shut out. CalRimRan might as well have thrown him out of the room and shut the door on his face! And it annoyed him. And it made him want to do silly things!

Like crumpling one of those tedious documents and throwing it at his head. Now that would be fun. Even more so if CalRimRan would then opened his eyes to glare coldly at him, in one of his silent threats. Which probably would not happen with just one crumpled ball of paper to his head. No. To get that kind of reaction from him FeiWan would probably have to do something a lot more drastic, like pouring a bucket of water over his head or setting his tunic on fire. That would certainly do it, he considered, a smile tugging at his lips. Now that he thought about it, setting his tunic of fire would be easy enough. Nothing he hadn’t done before, either. All he had to do was snap his fingers.

“Stop daydreaming and focus on your work.”

Now that actually startled him, FeiWan thought, raising his head, focusing his attention on CalRimRan instead of his fertile imagination.

He hadn’t moved one finger. Heck, he hadn’t even moved one hair! But FeiWan was sure he had just heard him speak! He had spoken, hadn’t he?!

Since CalRimRan remained as still as a statue, FeiWan decided to take a closer look at him.

Moving as silently as possible, FeiWan slowly stood up, careful not to drag the chair across the floor. Peering back at him, he concluded that, like before, CalRimRan hadn’t even twitched. And so he silently crossed the room, step by step, holding his breath so he wouldn’t make a noise, until he was standing right beside him.

He really was breathtakingly beautiful, FeiWan thought, noticing as even his long white eyelashes seemed to glow when touched by the light of the day. That another human being could be this beautiful was just … wrong. In fact, it made him look anything but human. Almost like the Tien’Elhar, he thought, his gaze following the elegant line of CalRimRan’s neck, noticing how his chest would rise and fall ever so slightly, his breathing calm and deep.

The Tien’Elhar also had this strange, unearthly beauty about them, as if the world itself somehow existed to make them look even more appealing. Also, like the strange members of the Demon Clan, they all looked disturbingly alike, as if they were all blood sisters, even though they had obviously been born to very different Households. And they all shared that semblance of frailty that made other people either want to abuse them or protect them. The difference was that the Tien’Elhar were actually as frail as they looked. But the man sitting in front of him … he was like a fierce wolf in disguise. Sure, like the rest of his people, he was probably ignorant and naive about a lot of things that men his age should normally know about. After all, they all lived stuck inside a village in the middle of the tallest mountains of the Continent. They mainly kept to their laws and their ways, and refused to mingle with the outside world. But that was how far CalRimRan’s need of someone else’s protection would go. Even without mentioning his strange, powerful gifts, his physical strength alone would be enough to allow him to snap another man’s neck with just one hand. And, as if that weren’t enough, the Demon Clan had developed its own deadly fighting style, and they all practiced it, women and men alike, since they were old enough to walk.

Yes, the one sitting in front of him could easily become a very dangerous death trap, FeiWan considered, slowly stretching out his hand to lightly touch CalRimRan’s white ribbon, as it softly slid down his back, over his equally white hair. Sitting like that, looking completely defenseless, FeiWan was sure that he could easily kill more than ten men before he could even blink. And yet, even though that knowledge should somehow make him feel at the very least reluctant to be alone in the same room as someone like him, even though it should make him feel defensive and wary in his presence, FeiWan didn’t feel anything like that. Quite the contrary. The more he thought about it, the more his heart raced with the suicidal need to put all those observations to the test. In fact, CalRimRan had always had that effect on him. Maybe because he was just too … righteous and pristine. It always made FeiWan’s hands itch with the almost instinctive need to make him lose his composure. Even if by doing so he might be putting his own life at risk.

Unable to resist, FeiWan stretched one finger and lightly poked CalRimRan’s cheek. He still felt unnaturally cold, but his skin was absurdly smooth for a man his age. And those were the last coherent thoughts that crossed his mind.

The speed with which FeiWan’s had was harshly slapped away barely granted him enough time to jump back. His skin burned, where CalRimRan had hit him. But he didn’t have the time to think about that either.

Even though FeiWan hadn’t seen him stand up, suddenly CalRimRan was on his feet. Moving as fast as a white shadow, he quickly retaliated. As if FeiWan had punched him or something even worse!, FeiWan criticized inside his head, barely having time to breathe as he did his best to counter CalRimRan’s quick and silent attacks. He was barely keeping up with his speed, he knew, his arms and hands burning every time he used them to block one of CalRimRan’s attacks, his eyes unable to follow his elegant and fluid movements. It was almost like a dance. A silent dance where the only sound that cut the air was the rustling of clothes. A deadly dance that could mean his instant death the moment he missed a defense.

Taking a step back, CalRimRan frowned, his gray eyes glistening coldly, making FeiWan’s heart beat even faster inside his chest, excitement coursing through his veins, hot like fire. Unlike his flawlessly composed adversary, FeiWan was breathing hard, droplets of sweat covering his forehead. Still, he couldn’t help feeling proud of himself. He had actually managed to defend against all of CalRimRan’s attacks, and he had managed to do so by using his opponent’s complex fighting style.

“When did you learn it?”

A wide smile stretched FeiWan’s lips.

“I did live in your village for an entire year. Remember?”

CalRimRan’s frown only deepened, and FeiWan shrugged.

“Even though you guys were always a bunch of stuck-ups, never allowing me to spare with you no matter how many times I asked, I still had two eyes on my face.”

CalRimRan’s frown immediately disappeared and, for a change, he actually looked … surprised?, FeiWan wondered. Yeah, he would go with that. If nothing else because it made him feel even prouder of himself.

“Just from watching?”

“And practicing alone, in my room. I’m pretty good, right?” he couldn’t help boast, an arrogant smile on his face. And then he barely had the time to breathe in, before CalRimRan was on him again.

Shit!, FeiWan thought, practically stumbling back, doing his best to keep his balance while defending himself from CalRimRan’s pale hands. CalRimRan might as well have four arms instead of two!, from how fast his hands were constantly trying to reach him. And FeiWan knew without a doubt. The moment one of his elegant fingers pressed his skin he’d been done for. The Demon Clan’s fighting style excelled in accurately pinpointing all the nerves in a person’s body. Either from being in excruciating pain or from simply losing all his strength, one touch was all CalRimRan needed to completely defeat him. And wasn’t he moving even faster than before?, FeiWan wondered, grimacing when his arm burned from another hard contact with CalRimRan’s palm.

Taking a quick and fast step forward, suddenly all FeiWan could see was CalRimRan’s face, so close to his that he couldn’t help hold his breath. Unlike before, his expression was smooth, tranquil even, his gray eyes staring straight at him. His long, white hair was still trying to catch up with his fast movements, the ends of the ribbon he always wore around his forehead flowing in the air behind him. And his strange, flowery scent reached his nose. FeiWan’s heart skipped a beat. And then a sharp pain on his leg made him bend his knee with a grunt.

Shit!, he had lost his focus and forgot to look out for CalRimRan’s feet!, he chastised himself, gasping in pain when hard cold hands grabbed his wrist, twisting it, forcing him to bend forward. Soon he was sprawled on the ground on his stomach, his cheek pressed against the cold stone floor, his right arm twisted behind his back on the verge of snapping. And all he could do was try his best to keep breathing. Especially with the extra weight on his back, pressing him down against the hard floor. A knee, probably, FeiWan guessed, his fingers quickly going numb from how hard CalRimRan was grabbing his wrist. And then it finally reached his ears. Sure, he was desperately gasping for air, but he wasn’t the only one.


Ah, silly FeiWan, poking the sleeping lion. You’re lucky he didn’t outright chew your head off ?

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Language:

CalRimRan: Literally cal (bright) + rim (cold) + ran (moon)

FeiWan: Literally fei (raging / furious) + wan (fire)

 

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