Even though he had kind of … feared what spending a night in the same bed as ZaiWin would entail, ZaiWin actually hadn’t done anything … improper to him. Well, he had hugged him against his chest, forcing a warm leg between his. But, after that, he had actually settled down and ... slept. And it wasn’t as if Snow felt uncomfortable being held like that. Quite the contrary. He always felt very safe, surrounded by ZaiWin’s long arms. Above all, he felt warm, and ZaiWin’s scent always had the strange ability to help him to relax. And so, he had actually slept very well, taking into account the fact that he was in a bedroom, lying on a bed.
When he woke up the pale light of day poured in from the window, the thick sheet of ice covering it casting rainbow-like reflections on the walls and ceiling. He felt slightly cold, Snow realized, and he immediately knew why. The warm arms that had held him the entire night were gone.
Sitting up, Snow rubbed his eyes trying to bring his sight into focus. And there he was, sitting at the table, silently watching the small hourglass.
ZaiWin was loosely dressed, his black tunic unbelted, falling freely over his pants. He also had yet to tie his hair up, Snow realized, which was really strange, since that was the first thing he did, even before he made his daily exercise of circling his energy through his daitai to keep them balanced. And so his long, black hair fell like strands of dark silk down his shoulders and back. He was also barefoot, Snow noticed. And he kept ZenTar’s sword right beside him, leaning against his chair.
Now that Snow thought about it, last night too, ZaiWin had made a point to keep the large sword against the wall, within hand’s reach. Which was even stranger than him keeping his hair loose for so long. The day before, ZaiWin hadn’t paid it any attention. In fact, Snow had been the one dragging the damn thing all the way to the inn. But now it was as if he couldn’t bear losing sight of it.
As if Snow’s gaze could produce a sound, ZaiWin turned to look at him and a warm smile immediately took over his face, making Snow blush. He just didn’t know how to deal with that smile. Much less when ZaiWin’s expression changed so quickly, just because Snow was looking at him.
“Did you sleep well?”
Snow nodded.
“Hungry?”
Snow’s belly grumbled at the sound of that question and he quickly nodded again.
ZaiWin chuckled.
“Here. Come and try this sweet cornbread. It’s actually very good.”
And that sounded even better, Snow told himself, quickly crawling out of bed and sitting at the table.
Snow was wearing one of the warm tunics Rain had provided for him, since he had never had clothes to wear to bed to begin with. Long enough to cover his legs almost all the way to his knees, its soft fabric felt very comfortable against his naked skin.
ZaiWin watched him for a while, a small smile on his lips, and then he just stood up, grabbed the sword, and walked back to bed. Leaning the sword against the wall where it had been before, he just sat there, his back against the wall, his hand resting on the sword’s pommel.
The strange symbols inscribed in the sharp blade glistened slightly, and Snow recalled that MenTar’s sword had also had them. They were supposed to grant the weapon some kind of power, Snow tried to remember what MenTar had told him about that.
Oh. ZaiWin had been right, Snow thought, filling his mouth with sweet cornbread. It did taste very good. And then his gaze was inevitably attracted to the small, golden hourglass. A small pile of crystal dust had already pilled at the bottom container, but there was still a lot of shiny dust waiting to fall.
“Hmm …”
Snow raised his head at the sound of that hesitant mumble and, true enough, found ZaiWin looking away, his blue gaze locked on the frozen window. He looked tense again, Snow thought, putting down the piece of golden bread that he was about to put in his mouth. More than that, he looked … uncertain, almost as if he were afraid of something, which was even rarer and a lot more worrisome than his warm smiles.
“Today we better stay in here …” ZaiWin declared, sounding extremely reluctant, and Snow’s entire being was immediately focused on him.
Was he feeling sick? Had he been unable to fully recover from jumping all the way there? Had their day outside exhausted him even further? Was he in pain? He didn’t look to be in pain. Snow had seen him in pain before and he had never had that cold, yet almost vulnerable expression on his face. Maybe he needed more rest. They shouldn’t have gone out the day before, Snow immediately chastised himself since ZaiWin had clearly done that to please him. Was he afraid that they might have been followed? Since they were no longer in Nox, Snow couldn’t count on the land’s whispers to warn him of any impending danger. Of course, even though he didn’t show it, he must be feeling worried about ZenTar and VinWei, and all the people they had left behind. Or was it that darkness he always carried inside him? Was it making him sick like had happened when he’d cleansed Snow’s corrupted daitai?
Snow’s mind whirled and spun with unanswered questions, his heart beating urgently inside his chest.
Was there anything he could do to help him? Would ZaiWin answer him truthfully if he asked? He had been right!, he immediately reprimanded himself. ZaiWin had been acting strange since the night before. Why hadn’t he asked him if there was something wrong with him sooner?
“Hmm … why?” The question was out of Snow’s mouth before he could even realize. A single word, carrying all the smothering concern squeezing his chest.
The blue eyes glanced sideways at him and then turned to stare at the frozen window again.
“Today is the twentieth.”
The twentieth, Snow repeated inside his head, all other questions immediately erased from his mind. The twentieth.
The first time he had heard about that had been just a few days ago, and ZenTar had been angry and frantic, about the fact that Snow had managed to stop ZaiWin’s flow of energy. Back then Snow had asked him about that. But ZaiWin … ZaiWin had told him that he already knew what was supposed to happen on that day, he recalled.
Taking a closer look at him, Snow tried to find something different, something wrong. But he couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary, anything out of place, except the fact that, for a change, ZaiWin still wore his hair down.
“What does that mean?” he dared ask and ZaiWin pulled one knee to his chest, resting an elbow on it, to cover his mouth with one hand.
“Finish eating and I’ll show you,” he replied, his voice muffled, and Snow just stared at him, completely taken aback. Was he really going to give him an answer? ZaiWin still wouldn’t look at him, he realized. And he suddenly looked very much like an embarrassed, scared child.
Snow was on his feet and crawling on his hands and knees across the bed before he could think about what he was doing, his delicious cornbread completely forgotten. At that moment all he could see was ZaiWin. The tension accumulated on his shoulders. The nervous glint in his eyes.
Kneeling on the bed beside him, Snow sat on his heels.
“I’m here.”
For a moment ZaiWin didn’t move, clearly hesitating about something, and then he simply sighed in defeat.
Turning to face him, he reached out for Snow’s right hand and gently caressed it for a moment, as if he were taking his time deciding about something really important. Still, he wouldn’t look at him, his head hanging low.
Following his slow movements, Snow tried to understand what he was doing. And then those elegant fingers made his way to his wrist, turning his hand around, and simply unclasped his bracelet. Snow had been so mesmerized by how beautiful his hands were that he didn’t have time to react. In any case, ZaiWin was the one always insisting that Snow should wear the small shiny thing. And so he just watched as the crystal bracelet slipped from his wrist and fell on the bed.
Anyway, what was he doin …, the question was completely erased from Snow’s mind as another, sudden realization, captured his full attention. He could see ZaiWin’s hand. He could see his arm. He could see his face. He could see him! His eyes widened in disbelief. He could see him! Even without the bracelet, Snow could still see him! And then a cold dread made his heart shiver. Just like he had been able to see him when he’d stopped his energy flow. Which meant …
Raising a tentative hand, Snow pressed it against ZaiWin’s chest. ZaiWin didn’t move, didn’t even twitched.
Warmth immediately climbed from Snow’s palm, up his arm. But, besides that … nothing … There was nothing. Even when he had stopped his energy there had been something! It had been simply … stopped. But now, there was absolutely nothing. Nothing at all.
Language:
ZaiWin: Literally zai (blade) + win (chaos).
Daitai: Literally dai (light) + tai (mark), or Holy Markings, considered Heavenly Blessings. They’re the source of power.
ZenTar: Literally zen (silent) + tar (wind)
