“That being said,” ZaiWin suddenly declared, granting Snow some temporary relief from his raising in temperature. “You still haven’t told me about that dream of yours.”

Snow’s cheeks were immediately flushed and, once more, he was grateful that he was sitting with his back to him. He should have guessed that his reprieve would be short-lived.

“Don’t want to talk about that,” he simply grunted and ZaiWin laughed lightly.

“Why? Wasn’t it a happy dream?”

“No, it wasn’t.”

“Hmm, somehow I really doubt that. Were you dreaming about me?” he purred maliciously into his ear and Snow’s back shot completely straight in a startle.

“Of course not! I was dreaming about someone else!”

“Eh … someone else, hmm? That’s kind of disappointing and annoying at the same time.”

Snow’s back relaxed and he allowed himself to take a deep breath.

“I told you I had had this strange dream, right …? This was the third time I dreamed about that place …”

“Hmm … You told me that in your dream you were yourself but weren’t at the same time,” ZaiWin recalled, sounding like he was finally willing to take him seriously.

Snow nodded.

“In my dream, I look exactly the same. My body feels the same. Only my hair is longer. And I see everything as if I were really there. In most of my other dreams, I watch things unfold as if I were a mere spectator. But these dreams, they’re like the memories the daitai showed me, with the difference that I can’t remember actually living any of those things.”

ZaiWin’s arms tensed up for a moment.

“It feels strange. I can only see what that other me wants to look at. I can only say what he decides to say. Thoughts, even emotions, I know they’re not mine, but it feels like they are. And while I’m dreaming my mind easily accepts all that, even though I actually feel and think differently than him regarding a lot of things.”

“Hmm, that does sound strange,” ZaiWin simply agreed, even though Snow knew that, by the way he’d uttered those words, he was quietly analyzing every piece of information he was giving him.

“It gets even stranger when I wake up,” Snow complained. “I always feel lost and confused. It’s like I am living two different lives and I’m suddenly dragged from one to the other.”

“Is there anyone you know in that dream of yours?”

Snow shook his head.

“And yet everyone looks extremely familiar while I’m there. I live in a village. And even though it’s a village like any other village, it still looks different in some ways. Like the clothes the people wear. Or the way they speak. For example, in my dream they call me Sacred Heavenly Envoy. No one has ever called me Tien’Elhar or Celestial.”

“So they know who you are.”

Snow nodded.

“And yet, I have the feeling that, in the beginning, they didn’t know what I was. Unlike what happened in real life, where everyone seemed to know more about me than I did, they seem to know very little about the Tien’Elhar. They were all surprised when I used an array to make the fields healthier. And they keep asking me to bless their land and their children. Which doesn’t make any sense to the me of my dream, but I still do it. Also, I get the feeling that I’m the only one, that there aren’t any other Tien’Elhar in that world.”

“So, in your dream, you are a Celestial, even though they don’t call you that. Does that mean you have a Chosen One?”

Snow’s back went immediately rigid at the sound of those words.

“Hmm … I don’t think you can call him that …” he mumbled and he couldn’t help cringe when a sudden weight fell on his shoulder.

“Him …?” ZaiWin demanded right next to his ear, in what sounded more like a dark threat.

Snow’s heart jumped, and he suddenly regretted very much, having told him as much.

“Hmm … he was already there, the first time I opened my eyes. He told me that he had been chosen by his village, as a sacrifice to the Gods. Apparently someone in the village received a message from the Heavens, telling them to send someone to a certain place, near a lake, in the woods. The people had been praying to the Heavens for quite some time, begging the Gods to help them because their fields weren’t producing enough. And when the reply from the Heavens was finally received, they thought the Gods meant that they should send a sacrifice to atone for their sins, as well as a way of payment for the blessings they had been praying for.”

“And this guy went with it and accepted to be this sacrifice?”

Snow nodded.

“How stupid is that?” ZaiWin grunted.

“He believed he was doing it for the good of the people. In my dream, everyone seems to really believe in the Heavens and that the Gods are always watching them, helping them when they deserve and punishing them when they do something wrong.”

“Ah! Wouldn’t that be nice? If that was so, half the fucking nobles would have dropped dead a long time ago. Not to mention the royals.”

Snow didn’t comment on that.

“Then what?” ZaiWin insisted and Snow took a deep breath.

“Apparently they didn’t understand the message, and he wasn’t supposed to be a sacrifice at all. He was sent there to … receive me.”

“Receive you?!”

Snow nodded.

“In my dream, I wasn’t born like other people. I just … came into being. Already looking the way I look.”

“And so that guy became your Chosen One?”

“He became responsible for me,” Snow replied and he couldn’t help feeling sad again, at the memory of those playful green eyes and at the knowledge that he would never be able to really see him or talk to him.

“When I … came into being, I didn’t know anything. I didn’t even know how to speak. I couldn’t understand the villager’s way of living. I didn’t know what I could eat, or how to get dressed, or even why I had to do any of that. He taught me all that.”

LanWan had even taught him about all the different feelings he hadn’t been able to name. And, thanks to that, Snow had finally been able to understand what ZaiWin’s kisses really meant.

“He also taught me what was expected of me. How I was supposed to be this important, holy being. I think that’s the only thing the Snow in my dreams and I actually have in common, besides our appearance. Like me, the me in my dream also didn’t believe in any of that. Things like being called holy or sacred didn’t make any sense to him.”

“I see …” ZaiWin breathed and somehow Snow couldn’t help shivering, feeling uncomfortable at the way those words had slipped out of his mouth.

“In my dream no one has ever even talked about things like Chosen Ones,” he suddenly felt the need to explain.

“Which doesn’t mean that there aren’t any,” ZaiWin grunted. “They also don’t refer to you as Tien’Elhar or Celestial. Maybe they just don’t have a name for these things. And so? Were you dreaming about him?”

Snow flinched at the question and tried his best to divert the answer.

“I always dream about him.” A loud growl raised from ZaiWin’s throat. “Besides! It’s just a stupid dream!”

---

Language:

ZaiWin: Literally zai (blade) + win (chaos).

Daitai: Literally dai (light) + tai (mark). Name given to the holy markings some people have on their backs, source of sacred power.

Tien’Elhar: Literally tien (Heaven) + el (supreme) + har (girl child). The Heavenly Beings also known as Celestials in the common language.

LanWan: Literally lan (white) + wan (fire).