Snow could almost laugh at that.

“Me?! Pure?”

He, who had been touched by thousands of filthy hands. He, whose blood had been drawn time and time again for the convenience and desires of others. He, who had been tied to that disgusting bed for ten whole years!

“You instinctively know what’s right and what’s wrong. What you can and cannot do,” NimMai¹Literally nim (gentle) + mai (hand). replied and Snow frowned again. Wasn’t that called common sense? “You still can feel and care. And love, and be sad.”

“Isn’t that the way everyone is?”

“The way everyone should be. I look at you and I can’t help feeling deeply grateful that someone so special has been sent to be that child’s companion.”

“Companion?! You mean my Chosen One? You know who he is?”

NimMai gave him another of those all-knowing, understanding smiles.

“I’ve been watching over him all this time, even though it wasn’t my place to do so. I made a promise and bound myself to his mother’s dying wish. And I've been making sure it is fulfilled since then.”

“Dying wish …?”

“That her beloved child would survive.”

Snow lowered his gaze, his heart squeezed inside his chest. Was she talking about ZaiWin²Literally zai (blade) + win (chaos). or someone else?

“I don’t want to be anyone’s companion …” he insisted and NimMai sighed.

“But you still know that he’s out there. You still know his name.”

ZaiWin was the first word that came to his mind, and so he couldn’t help feeling surprised when what escaped his mouth didn’t sound anything like it.

“LanRan³Literally lan (white) + ran (moon) …”

NimMai's entire expression came alight at the sound of that name and she nodded in confirmation.

“So I was right. It is you.”

“Wait! I don’t know anyone by that name! I don’t even know why I said it!” he quickly tired to explain, his voice escaping to a normal tone due to his urgency, but her smile only became even brighter.

“That doesn’t matter at all. As long as you know who he is.”

“I’ve just told I don’t know! And I don’t want to know!”

NimMai didn’t argue any further, simply smiling with that annoying expression on her face, and Snow frowned disgruntled.

“No matter what, just be careful,” she told him in a more serious tone, which immediately captured his attention. “Don’t trust the Temple. Don’t trust the Palace. Don’t trust anyone. Just follow your heart, let it decide. You can still do that. And if you ever decide to recognize him as your Chosen One, please watch over his heart as well. Don’t let him fall any deeper that he has already fallen. All this time all I could do was make sure he survived, I couldn’t stop him from getting hurt. Even though I can’t see him, I know he’s grown up to be a strong man. But what lies beneath that strength is not as unbreakable as it seems.”

Snow clenched his fists, refusing to look up at her.

“I won’t recognize anyone!”

“Even if you don’t, please look after him anyway.”

“Why can’t you do that? You said it yourself. You’ve been watching over him all this time. Why can’t you …”

“I can’t. Not anymore. My time is over. My biggest fear was that this day would come, but you’d still be lost in the world. And that’s why I really wanted to see you, to talk to you. Now that you’re finally here I can finally rest.”

“I’m telling you right now! I refuse to take on that responsibility! I can hardly take care of myself as it is! How can I possible look after someone else?”

She simply smiled and completely ignored his words.

“No matter what others may say, or what you may hear from now on, I am really grateful that you were born who you are,” she declared, catching him completely off guard, and Snow couldn’t help blush, his cheeks heating up. Because those hadn’t been mere words, the emotion playing in her golden eyes telling him that she meant every word.

“And I can imagine that your life hasn’t been an easy one. But, no matter how bad or harsh it may have been, it has allowed you to be who you are today. Never forget that. And now you should go. It’s getting late and this little one is getting tired,” she declared and Snow realized that the little girl had stopped playing, simply standing next to her, staring at him with her huge golden eyes.

“She will take you back. Make sure you’re safe before we leave.”

With those words the little girl crossed the room and, grabbing a corner of his blanket, tugged him towards the door.

“Where are you going? Will you be here again, tomorrow?” Snow pressed, suddenly not wanting to part with her just yet, but NimMai simply shook her head, that smile back to her lips.

“I won’t.”

“Then will I see you again? I still have a lot of questions …”

“Forgive me. I wish I could stay longer but my time is over. Besides, there’s nothing I could teach you. There's nothing any of us can teach you. Our words would only deceive you and taint your heart, even if we meant to do good. Those answers, you should look for them yourself. See with your own eyes, listen with your own ears, think with your own head, and feel with your own heart. Leave the Temple, the people, the Tien’Elhar⁴Literally tien (Heaven) + el (supreme) + har (girl child). The Heavenly Beings also known as Celestials in the common language, all out of it. Do you think you can do that?”

Snow nodded without a second thought.

“Good. Never let go of that certainty. And, if destiny ever leads you and that child back to the Palace, go to the White Pavilion. I have left something there for the both of you. Something that might probably help you better understand what brought you there. Now go. If the little one falls asleep you won’t be able to return to your room unnoticed.”

He really wanted to stay, to talk more with her. After all he would probably never have the chance to talk with another Tien'Elhar again, someone who was the same as him. Better yet, someone who he was suppose to be and obviously was not. But those last words made him immediately opt to follow her advice. There was a dark monster keeping watch in his bedroom. A dark monster that, apparently, had been disabled by a little girl that looked like a doll. And he most definitely didn’t want to risk finding him awake, up and running around, upon his unauthorized return.

Nodding his agreement, he finally followed the little girl outside, always looking back at the lonely, white figure that silently watched him go.

Tugging his blanket all the way, the little girl led him back to his room.

The door remained opened, just how he’d left it. And, with a sigh of relief, he confirmed that the monster remained in the same place, still unmoving.

The little girl gave him a mischievous smile, as if she’d read his mind, and he smiled back at her.

“Thank you for bringing me back. Will you be all right?”

She nodded happily, but he couldn’t help recalling NimMai’s words, about how even such a small child had somehow become tainted. No matter how much he looked at her he couldn’t understand how, or what exactly had she meant by that. The child in front of him looked as happy and lively as any well cared child he’d ever seen.

“If I ever go to the Palace I promise I’ll pay you a visit,” he declared, which left a huge smile on her face, and she silently pointed towards the bedroom. “I will go, then,” he told her, understanding what she meant, and she nodded, still smiling, waiving him goodbye.

Snow stepped into the bedroom and looked back one more time, to see that perfect doll standing there, framed by the open door. Like with NimMai, he’d probably never see her again, he thought, the probability of he ever stepping foot in such an important place as the Palace below zero. Not that he wanted to go there, quite the contrary. If he hadn’t been keen about the idea to begin with, after what NimMai had told him he’d definitely do his best to keep as far away as possible from that place.

Waving the little girl goodbye for the last time, he closed the door and crawled back under the bed, wrapping himself in his blanket, and pretending to be asleep.

His head, however, kept turning and tumbling around all NimMai had told him, all he’d listened, all he’d learned. And above everything else the name LanRan kept popping into his thoughts, even though he had never heard it before, even though he had no idea of where it had come from, leaving him even more confused.

NimMai seemed certain that his Chosen One was this LanRan. So did that mean that ZaiWin wasn’t his Chosen One after all? Had it all been a mistake?

VinWei⁵Literally vin (hard) + wei (crystal) had told them that Celestials were never mistaken about such things, but he didn’t feel certain about anything. Maybe they were the wrong ones, he considered. Maybe they had wrongly interpreted whatever he had done to lead them to that conclusion. Maybe there had never been a bond to begin with. He most certainly couldn’t feel anything of the kind, none of the things NimMai had described. Except for the overwhelming fear part. But who in their right mind, Celestial or not, wouldn’t fear a dark, black thing like that?

If that was so things were a lot simpler. He could simply run away whenever he wanted and be done with the whole thing. Then all he would have to worry about would be to avoid anyone called LanRan at any cost. Which didn’t sound so hard, taking into account that a name like that could only belong to a nobleman. The probability of the likes of him and a nobleman crossing paths once he was on his own on were more than low.

He felt sorry for NimMai and for her wish that would remain unfulfilled. But finally reclaiming ownership of his own life came first and above anything else.

Silvareiel

I'm finally home -_-; Needing 24h of sleep T_T Two more days till the weekend T_T