Chapter One: Beginnings
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The trouble with many stories is that they do not have a clear place for them to start.  As a demon of time and space, my perception of the past is far more complete than most mortals.  Thus, I know that the story didn't begin with my birth, not really.  Hells, my story didn't really begin even millennia before, when the Elder Gods were of the Servant class, and the Creator was still (presumably) active.  On the other hand, my story doesn't even begin to affect the cosmos at large until well after I had experienced my first "death”.  Really, sharing stories is such a pain.  I now understand why most Systems outline Bard as a separate class.

 

I suppose that the best spot to begin my story is at the point where my life turned interesting.  Of course, even that method has some issues, since I think that my first cereal breakfast was interesting (others disagree), but I digress.  Perhaps I should start with a name.  I am called Isaiah Parson.  It was my first name, and the one that I still identify the most as.  I was born on Earth One, during the year 1998 according to the local calendars.  I was... you know, even for a story about myself written by myself, this story has a lot of "I"s and such.  How do the Bards do it?

 

..............

 

I have made a mistake. 

 

It seems that most Bards agree that it is best if a story is told from the "third person".  Why the story is better that way I have no idea, but that truth seems universally acknowledged.  Perhaps I should start again.  For that matter, perhaps I should start.

 

Isaiah stopped at the crosswalk with everyone else.  Cars were already going, so no jaywalking for the sane.  Unfortunately, it seemed that one girl missed the memo.  Her head was buried in a book, and she did not stop for traffic.  Isaiah’s eyes went wide as he saw a large white truck come barreling towards the girl.  Quickly he jumped forward, towards the girl.  He reached out, grabbing the straps on the girl’s backpack, and jerked her to safety.  The truck zoomed past.

 

“Are you all right?”

 

Gasping, the girl finally moved her head from the book.  Her wide eyes shined a beautiful brown. Her pearly-white face was framed by raven-black hair that stopped under her chin.  Isaiah stared as her lips puckered open slightly as she breathed out a melodic “Thank you”.  Isaiah found himself entranced by the voice as he started sinking into her eyes, her

 

‘NOPE! NopeNopeNopeNope-what-the-hell-I’m-not-a-desparate-degenerate-NopeNopeNope.’

 

Turning away quickly, Isaiah muttered a quick, “Your welcome” and started stalking across the street.  Hearing a loud honk, Isaiah looked to see a large white truck barreling towards him. 

 

“What the hell, is that the same truck?”

 

Then everything went black.

 

Opening his eyes, Isaiah recalled that he had never actually closed his eyes.  Attempting to close his eyes, Isaiah realized he didn’t really seem to have eyes.  Or eyelids, since that is what you actually use to close your eyes.  Or eyes either for that matter, since Isaiah couldn’t seem to recall eyes seeing 360 degrees around every axis.  At least that was what he thought he remembered, as he focused, he felt memories from his past life slipping from him like a dream.  Isaiah hurriedly attempted to close his eyes “dammit pointless reflex!” and desperately grabbed at whatever he could recall. 

 

“Isaiah, my name is Isaiah I am Isaiah and I like…. something?  My family is…. important?  My age is…. Isaiah my name is Isaiah.”

 

Now you may wonder, dear reader, how off Earth I know my birthyear if I lost all of my memories.  Let me tell you right now, I really did lose access to most of my memories. Death is a traumatic experience for unpracticed souls, and they all lose access to their memories without the direct intervention from the Gods.  I simply know my birthyear because I have a limited ability to peer into the past.  However, I of course did not have that skill at that time. 

 

I, that is, Isaiah finally managed to pay attention to his surroundings.  He was in an apparently endless white plane with fog spreading off the ground.  In front of him, or at least, he was going to call it his front, stood a beautiful woman.  She was apparently the only source of light, although nothing in the plane looked dark.  Around her glowing head there was a headdress such as the ancient Aztecs might have used.

 

‘Who the hell are the Aztecs?’ thought Isaiah, right before the woman spoke.

 

“Have you calmed down now?” the woman asked.

 

“…………..”

 

“I am the Goddess of Rebirth, Challis.  Its… sort of the god’s fault that you died, and so I am here to offer compensation.”

 

“…………..”

 

“Oh, for Heaven’s sake!”  

 

Isaiah watched as the goddess waved her hand in his general direction.  Instantly he felt unlocked, like the pressure keeping him from some of his memories and thoughts eased.  He also realized that it was a little awkward and very rude for him to simply stare at a goddess who was trying to talk to him.

 

“Um… hi.”

 

‘Smooth, Isaiah.  Very smooth.  Now just keep talking.’

 

“This wouldn’t happen to be like one of those reincarnation stories flooding the…what was it called?”

 

‘Really goddess, I can remember light novels but not the medium I used to access them?  For that matter, I remember Konosuba, and I don’t get to remember my family?’

 

“Internet,” Challis supplied.  “And yes, this is like one of those reincarnation stories.  I am here to offer you a ‘cheat code’ to your next life.”

 

“…………..”

 

“Normally, souls start wondering if they should be worshipping me by this point.  To answer before you ask, Yes, Yes you should.  It is also traditional to show at least a little excitement at the prospect of an easy and heroic next life.”

 

“Oh.  Um… so I died...”

 

“Yep”

 

“And it’s your fault.”

 

“Well, the fault lies with other gods, but yes.”

 

“I am supposed to be worshipping you...”

 

“You may begin.”

 

“…. You are here to offer me cheat codes?”

 

Challis sighed.  This was turning out to be every bit as humiliating as she had imagined.

 

“Yes, mortal.”  Best to put him in his place.  Challis was already feeling better just because of the slight slur.  She was such a saint.  “I can just gift you with the standard Memory/Growth speed/Luck pack if you aren’t sure what you want.”

 

To her surprise, the soul finally showed some originality.

 

“I know what I want.”

 

Challis raised her left eyebrow.

 

“So, these reincarnation stories, they are all real?”

 

Then she lowered it.  ‘So, it’s an inquisitive soul, and possibly stupid.  How boring.  Well, he was the one that asked for the info dump.’  Challis started explaining.

 

“Some are real.  Many times, when the people we reincarnate achieve the epitome of power in their universe, they return to Earth.  Naturally, they lose all of their power, and so the only thing that they have left is the stories from their alternate life.  So, they write about them.  Of course, when the genre became popular, many other humans started writing stories of the same vein, and now there are also many fake stories.”

 

“But there are multiple universes summoning heroes?”

 

“There are.”  He was so slow.

 

“Then I want three things.  First, I want complete immortality.”

 

Challis merely shook her head.  Inside, however, she was crying.  ‘Complete immortality!  Who does he think he is, a god!’

 

Isaiah chuckled.  “Well,” he said, “it was worth a shot.”

 

Challis’ eyes narrowed slightly, and he quickly continued.

 

“Alright, what I really want is a body and mind that are ageless.  That is, I do not want either to degrade from the passage of time.  My second wish is for the growth limits placed on all mortals to be removed.  For example, if a world has a system, I do not want to bother with its level caps or class limits and such.  Finally, I want to be able to sense and access summoning circles between worlds.”

 

‘That was quite a change in tone.  Really, who would have guessed that the soul had it in it?’  A thoughtful expression, for the mortal’s benefit, crossed the goddess’ face.  “Hmm…”

 

Isiah felt a brief blip, similar to what happened in his past when he forgot what he was doing as he passed through a door.

 

'I remember what doors are!'

 

Challis smiled.  It was truly radiant, a smile befitting a goddess.  “I can definitely do that for you.  In fact, there exists a race in the cosmos with those traits already!  I will reincarnate you into one of those.”

 

Challis waved her hand again, and Isaiah watched as everything around him went black.

 

“I have eyes now,” he thought.

 

Then Isaiah started screaming.

 

He felt as if his skin was being peeled off, rubbed in salt, and sucked dry.  As he continued to scream, he felt his blood begin to boil.  His consciences would not fade, however, and he was unable to lose himself to the pain.  Suddenly a voice spoke into Isaiah’s mind. 

 

Lamar World System integrating with lifeform.  Specs observed. 

 

Warning, you have taken fatal damage. 

Death is not permitted in this zone. 

Holy Aura Resistance level 5 obtained.

 

Warning, you have taken fatal damage. 

Death is not permitted in this zone. 

Holy Aura Resistance level 7 obtained.

 

Welcome to Lamar.

 

Suddenly, the pain stopped, and Isaiah promptly lost consciousness.

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