PoV: Arthur Franklin King, AFK IRL.
"So ... about me, and why things happen. Hmm; that's a long topic ― and yet short too."
"Simplify it ― what led from you on Earth, to this point?"
I sense Roia sees enough of me ― or, Ceevah and others have told some things; but she does not know enough ― I'm pretty sure just splatting the details cannot work. Some of my life might require 'setting the proper basis' to understand.
"... okay then. Here's how I see my own life, now. It's in phases. One; everything from Earth, and how I was then. Two; summon and arrival into Pernam, and maybe the first two to three years there. Three; end of the third year ― creation of my realm, to my 'quitting' being their 'Hero'. Four; serious courtship with my princess, until ... an awful event. Five; the same event, to afterward, a last year or so."
"First part, then?" she starts.
I open with showing she and I are the same while different ― life on Earth, our joint awareness of life before summon. Starting with my whole name-
"First of all, part of the problem is ... my full name." Seeing her disbelief, I smile and start with this point. "I said my first and last names but not my middle name. My monogram has meaning for this. In full, I am ― Arthur Franklin King." I pause to see her do a mental gymnastic of assembling the letters. "Yeah ― AFK. Can you imagine what a kid like me went through, in an age of computers and stuff? Plus I didn't have so much a computer presence. I had one, obviously; bought from my own hard work. Let's just say, the initials stuck with me, in some ironic sense. And yeah I did live 'AFK' for a while, in spite of my old man naming me this. I sort of let other people take a lead in ... well, everything."
She might think it whimsical, though not funny ― since I'm here explaining it. I let this pass.
"Other details of family life? Okay then. Drunk father who died in a car crash. Mother who got in the way of his fist more often than not. Me living low-key and unknown, twin younger sisters who love to alternate between doting on me and vilifying me. AFK or not ― after dad's accident, I worked simple jobs. After school and during the summer, doing odd jobs for people who needed a hand and could pay even a small bit."
"So, you were living poor, like my family?"
"Yes, you could say that; but we scraped by. Did well enough in school but never even tried to excel-"
"Why not? You're smart-"
"-it's more like, what scholarship? Can I eat it, or what? I held back from college and further learning, in favor of hitting the workforce directly to a small store, post high school. Didn't even get a girlfriend until months before my summon ― a coworker in this same slump ― but it didn't last. I threw myself into work ― a secret being, I tried saving for our first apartment. So she left me for some charismatic guy who could spend more time with her. I thought I took it all in stride; but I didn't. I stayed morose a few weeks, so even my coworkers pushed me onto another girl ― who might have been a prostitute. Anyway ... I don't want you thinking I was a 'loser virgin guy', because I did it ― once ― but not with the one who left me. Then, summoned."
"... ouch. Sorry for ― that."
"Eh ... no worries. Even before she left me, we were hanging out at home but not dating because we were both tired. It is what it is; a failure of romance. I was morose for a while; got a 'replacement girlfriend' days before the summon too ― a shocker where I actually died and got pulled to another world. That's literally my twentieth birthday, too. I went to buy some aspirin for mom's headache ― and stepped out in front of a truck. I swear still to this day no truck was present; it's an empty side street I crossed, I'm sure of it. After that, I spent nine and four fifths years on Pernam ― almost a decade ― but this leads into phase two-"
"-so once I arrive ― oh boy was I in for a shock. Called into a Viking warrior goddess' realm no less, to face her and get her explanation first. Six of Ten is her name ― she's all heart; she took her time to calm me and explain what happened and why I'm before her. Even more, she held me as I cried over all my past life disappearing before me; I couldn't go back. She told me what I'd face, and gave me some 'special treats' inside of my skill list, still hidden to this day. She explained what's wrong with Pernam, though not the later context I missed-"
"-you're saying you spent time with her; I didn't have the same, so I'll be jealous. Unless your time with her was ... 'private time' ... then no."
"I wouldn't mind if it were; but no. She assured me she has her own romantic options so I never even asked. But then again that's just me ― living 'AFK' even then. For life within Pernam: I promised myself, I would not 'live AFK' any more. Only to enter Pernam straight into a summon moment plus collar on me. This slave magic is instant and thorough; I was fine, as long as I didn't try to resist the effects. Faced with so many catkin as the major race there; only four humans in sight ― it's a clue some things may be familiar, but most things won't be the same. I promised ― no more living AFK ― yet through the oddity of the summon and slavery, forced to continue this AFK bit, but also not."
"That's confusing, Arthur. How can you be 'AFK', and also not?"
"It's this difference between Earth, Pernam, and Klee. Earth, we know has no magics; it's all ― charlatans playing as magicians or witches. Pernam has a mana force so strong, you can feel its pressure the moment you enter it; it takes mere days for things to equalize. It's fully vested in its magic source. Klee, however, I sense it's got mana force, yet it's magically weak, for some reason. Thus for my summons to Pernam, the rite was perfect, but also slavery magic was ... perfect. Or, nearly so. Therefore since slave magics are impervious to breakage or resistance by its slave, a slave owner or handler need not be abusive; the obedience of the slave is assured. Only a fool on Pernam would dare abuse a slave."
"... I would prefer being a slave there, then."
"I'd rather never be a slave at all, Roia."
"... other differences, Arthur?"
"-yes; summoned to enslave, no chance to resist, or move one step. Instead of one like King Bonner to give a spiel, I faced a catkin matriarch who views my arrival and collaring as a mere 'rite'. While Bonner may let me infer desires for Candra ― in Pernam my personal life is left alone. Yes that's right, even a slave like me has permission to engage in romance or whatever comes after. Pernam may seem 'enlightened'; but yes they do have a darker side to this. A summon happens once each decade, to begin the decade, by the deities' assent. Once per queendom, but the count is, nine hundred ninety nine lands exist ― so, almost a thousand summoned heroes, each decade."
"... you mean ... they are used as tools, or something? Are the summons used for ... war?"
"Not going to lie ― sometimes yes. I wasn't used this way; the world has seen a vast war just a century or two before me. It's still fresh in their minds how bad it could get ― pitting summoned heroes of one land against one of another land. Not that border skirmishes don't happen; but they have 'rules' for that sort of thing. Instead, the first couple years are mostly for 'training'. Year one, training physical strengths with the adventure guild boss; year two, training magic and skills with the chief wizard in the Wizard's Tower. For the first part, my 'official room and board' was through the adventure guild; they basically kept me within a large closet they pushed a cot and a chamberpot inside. Same setup for the second part of it, but I'm assigned ― placed inside ― a closet inside the tower instead. I didn't mind, it saved me the expense of renting a room or buying a house-"
"-they lock you up?"
"No! Not at all. Well sometimes ... it might feel this way ... but I survive it, too. While I was expected to sleep normal hours, and also submit to all the training time ― they knew how a human likes time to explore as well as they do. Curiosity, as they say, is not just a cat trait ― they get moody when we Earth humans say 'curiosity killed the cat'; it makes them angry for some reason. But ... as I explored, and surrounded myself with others from that land ... that's where the troubles ... began."
"You mean, this is where the perversions-"
"-I wouldn't say it like that, but ... it's not far from the truth. From the time of my summoning but appearing in front of Six of Ten, I felt ... different. She did lament my 'AFK' lifestyle but wanted me to be more active, more engaged in things. I'm not sure who did this; but ... some deity put a 'charisma boon' on me. Something placed on me, which when females would be near me for a length of time, would drive them ... 'interested', and more ... toward me. I faced so many females on my missions since, who sometimes threw themselves on top of me. Say I had a tent of my own, out on quests? Didn't matter; more often than not, I'd find one or two of them then sneaking inside sometime in the night ... attracted and eager to ... um. I resisted all of them, of course. No it's true!"
I avert her denial, but she still looks hesitant to believe it.
"See Roia it's stacked against me, there. I'm more like you than you know. Instead of me being a woman ganged by a horde of men, I'm a man but face women on a daily basis, eager and motivated to climb all over me. I let it go as far as kissing them but push them away or make my escape when possible before going further ― except a couple who I did. And you have no idea how hard it is to resist ... that. No, they weren't seeking to 'rape' me ― but it feels like a same intent in the moment ― maybe something in the boon or in my slave collar 'repels' them too. No matter how close they get to me ... they can't complete their seduction of me. Being honest I'm not wanting to find a mate like that; I want the boon off of me, so at least I can see if any of them ... *ahem* ... you know ... want me for me."
This, she seems to accept; maybe it's part of her own thinking as well. I may be getting through to her.
"Okay. Go on-"
"The highlight of this 'phase two' is actually finishing the first year there, then assigned to work with High Wizard Neytaan, the old catkin who's head of the Wizard's Court. Catkin lifespan might be fifty or sixty years, if they are at all healthy. But for Neytaan to reach nearly to the start of a third century ― he's the highest ranked and oldest wizard, in current times. He's level twelve; I'm level nine; the next highest is level six and boy is that old cat pissed off and jealous. But this should tell you how much I progressed there, right. Alright then. Year three, too ― Neytaan let me see earlier into their libraries and other vaults, and I found what they knew of various magical things. I broke the slavery magic through hard effort; then I also learned of a 'Realm Project' stored away. It allowed me to build ... this."
I look up, pointing up and around to the realm landscape. Above, the clouds are slowly gathering, the sky shows darker, even though it should be daytime yet ― late afternoon but not evening.
"In fact it's literally near an end of the third year, almost half a year after breaking the collar. If I still had the slave collar active and the slave magics running full force, I don't think I could have built this place. But anyway its original ten meter radius has since expanded to this, and I've since summoned all twenty of these minions here-"
"-you're delaying, telling me about this realm. Or do you mean it has relevance to your ... extraneous actions?"
I look with a reproving glance to her. She may be almost right ― almost ― but she need not know this! But also she's wrong! Because! It's not!
"Roia ... please take this seriously. Yes having a realm to escape into for my 'after hours' time ... was a great help to me. While in Pernam during the day, trying to escape all the women grasping for me, I had only to make it through the day then come here for true relaxation. The boon never does affect my minions; or, they simply are already affected by the minion bond system which defeats this effect. Something to explore later when it's not an issue either. Um ... being honest, here ... I did even try to romance Ceevah ... but she wasn't affected by any boon so I felt freer to try with her ... but it never happened for a separate reason. She's with Chace now and I'm happy for them both. But at least I could sneak away here to get away from the constant female companionship issue."
She believes me, yet I sense she's still trying to find a weakness in my explanation. I pause a moment but it's her who signals me to continue.
"Anyway. End of the third year and maybe into the fourth, is the general end to this 'phase two' time. 'Phase three' begins year four; I got my first major quest assigned by the queen to ― get this ― go spy out the demon lands. She heard the demons were becoming 'more active', and wants me to confirm and then scout their lands. Yet our time during the whole year led to actually finding the demon lands, going right up to within view of their castle, and ... nothing as far as major battles. The demon lord actually knew we were coming all along. What's more ― standing facing the demon city's tall walls ― we were ... invited inside."
"Arthur ― you don't mean, some unknown unseen demon lord would invite you inside? Weren't you scared, and want to back away while you could? Then why not just run-"
"I went inside, of course." Seeing nothing but disbelief, I play it all for effect, with grandiose movements. "Well, WHO WOULD RUN FROM THAT?! Demon lord is actually demon lady, but she had her own curious interest in me, even from the first moment she saw me; much sooner than everyone else. Imagine ― being on their doorstep ― still on this mission to 'spy' on them ― and ... she just invites us inside!"
Roia sits in shock at the verbosity of my retort, but then sighs as I continue.
"Do you really think any one of us in this 'mission' could top her act? That's a power level move, right there-"
"... if this ends up all females everywhere drop their panties at the sight of you ― I'm leaving, alright-"
"It's not like that ... not so much. But the 'charisma boon' is honestly real ― is what I am trying to say. No matter if I'd like to remain celibate long enough to find 'the one for me', ... I'll admit no male human mind can deny its power. I wouldn't want you also to mistake it as the typical male desires; it's not, I do fight against it. But also you're wrong in that thought of 'every female everywhere' ... doing any of that. To date since my summon it's been ... hmm ... maybe three? Yeah it seems to be three females who resist attraction to me."
"Only three?! In that whole world ... three?"
"No; it's more than this three; I won't count any female who automatically lust for the companionship for other females; as that doesn't work for them. Also those in a marriage seem to have some increased resistance if they have emotional bonds to their mates; though not all married women tried to resist this draw. But a straight female who is of age, biologically mature, and willing ― it's like an instant switch, a moment they see me. It's this too, in all summoned males, I understand, not just me. For the record the three are: Daphna the arachne queen, Keriann as one most like one of my sisters, and then the catkin queen VicNyanne herself. Though on the latter part, I'm summoned and slaved to her so I think it multiplies her resistance over me. Others may exist but these are the ones I know."
"Oh. Well then ... sorry, if I did jump to any false conclusion. I just assumed-"
"-it's alright, you know; I understand the confusion or misunderstanding, because you're not the first one I've explained all this to, you know?" I nod abruptly. "Yep. Seven different people; at least three of them girls. It's been such a long hard road; I'm hoping I can escape the charisma boon, and I'd like to ask your help for this, too. Because I'm still attached to that other world-"
"-but Ceevah said ... something about the 'dragon wife' being the one who ... destroyed things. This is the confusing part. Explain this, and then I'll decide if you're decent and truthful."
I sigh. Look around, seeing the growing clouds yet not a drop of rain yet ― and consider how long or short to make this moment of explanation.
"So, back up, here. Before this 'phase three' of year four ― year three featured the queen's quest: go spy on demon lands. Which I did ... though I protested the wisdom of spying on them and maybe antagonizing them too. I maybe dawdled some, wasted a whole summer on one failed trip ― pissed off the queen, I didn't find anything. Year four though was filled with not one but three trips, into demon lands, all before I'd acquired the material resources to activate this realm. Questing also gave me the chance for resource collection or else it would have taken longer. When I faced their city walls and got an invite inside ... a first trip; she resupplies us and essentially tells us 'go home'. Who of us could have forced our stay, any longer?"
"It's not like that on Klee though; the kingdoms want to destroy the demons outright-"
"But they seem to want the end of the demons on Pernam as well ― though it never ends like this; I'll tell you why, later."
"... alright, I'll want to know then."
"Second trip, at the queen's word to return, to face them again. Without more specific orders, we went there ― but the demon queen thought it funny to invite us to sparring matches, versus her key staff. Plus I started worrying she took my returning a second time as me being interested in her. Tournament style fights versus some of their best demon warriors. Yet at the end of our bouts, she heals us, fed us, and ... well she didn't interfere if any one of us had romantic interludes with her or her kin. She did flirt at me, more than once; though I'm never fully sure whether it's the boon or not. For her to then ultimately infer if I ever get tired of the 'royal kitty' ― she didn't say 'kitty' though ― she'd be willing to take me ... I told her stop. We're sent home again, then returned ― sent back by my queen ― a third time. That's where the true fight began."
"At least you enter into a real fight the last time, already knowing the comparative strengths of your opponents-"
"Yes and no. In the earlier tournaments, they held back some ... a special gift for us, for how we openly accept her largess. But this time ... no. She knew, it could not end any other way; she knew an invasion would occur if any one of us returned to say the demon lands were not 'subdued'. So ... she had an ultimate, alternate plan. She ... opened her own portal to another world ... and went through. But first she needed a thing I could provide, and for me to help her activate it. At least in this, I could let her and her key personnel just freely go to another world. Don't worry, enough demon kin got left behind anyway; and in another few decades a new demon lord or lady may arise. But at least the mission 'ended' as completed."
"... and a next mission came along?"
"Yes. Before and after departures of the third and fourth years, the queen's daughter was pursuing me and I also liked her, we were discussing betrothal. Even while the catkin won't interfere in a summoned hero's romantic options ... the same is not true for them leaving this princess' options so free as to pursue me. In part I wonder whether the queen sent me on so many 'missions' was just as much for the reason as throwing a roadblock between her daughter and I. But near the last part of the fourth year, I returned ... and the princess as much as reasserted she and I were ... a couple. It seems her siblings were doing more than teasing, they were meddling too, and she grew tired of not being with me since I also liked her."
Slowly I am winning points, so I can imagine as some outcome I may get redeemed of the earlier slipup of her disgust of me; but not cancel it, yet.
"Aah so you did have some honorable intent, then. Where did this all go wrong?" She does in part have a mischievous grin, inferring she is willing to test me, just as much as I let her.
"Duh! I've been sore at the charisma thing ― since forever. On Earth it's how my girlfriend left for someone with a ton of charisma. But pulled into Pernam it's how I'm forced to become a slave to a queen but stuck with the charisma boon ― which isn't a boon, but a curse. I believe I had zero charisma on Earth; nobody seemed to like me ― like this. Anyway, I was too busy working hard to notice anyone; if I had my mother and my sisters for a moment of attention ... why need more? But on Pernam, all that was reversed ― females threw themselves at me for no reason other than my presence and with their desire to do whatever this boon told them. Believe me, if you are not forced to like me for a boon ― I like you enough already; I just don't want you to like me for this."
Her eyes widen; she hasn't considered this aspect yet. I'm telling her, she might end up liking me for no other reason than an artificial effect.
"... well I ... Arthur you ... you promised, now; you won't-"
"Yes I promise, and I mean to keep it. I am hoping your own summoned state can somehow mean you are also resistant, to some amount of it. Then trust me; if I notice anything with you ... I'll properly tell you. I want to be honest with you about it; and so we'll just have to see, won't we."
... yet I see her looking at me softly, like she might feel the effects of this boon. Anyway at least I've told this part.
"... anyway. Roia. To be honest the charisma boon isn't so negative on me or anyone else, other than, seeing so many girls piling on top of each other to get to me. And if you want to know, yes I also do have concern, in not yet knowing if my princess' love for me is real. That's the worst; the absolute worst. Not knowing if someone wants you for some fake reason. Because what if someday the boon were to disappear and then the one I selected or who got past my defenses ... ultimately doesn't love me in the same way? But other than this ... it just skews everyone I meet to like me, more often than not."
Her face wavers on an indecision; but then after a few seconds, she caves. "I'm not sure I'll like being part of an experiment, Arthur; but hearing your logic ― I suppose I'll be understanding of the need to test those bounds."
"Yes, this is the whole logic. Find out the extent of the charisma boon, and end it if possible. But anyway that's only the beginning of phase three. Year five ― I'm already getting sick and tired of all the major and minor trips and quests; but yet I'm faced with more. I'd committed to courtship with the princess; yet this year sees me fighting the same dragon queen who burned all; and, a race of spider type beings called arachne. The dragon, she was easy enough; when we fought, she was impressed by my dexterity yet not trying to end her. I disobeyed the order in part; the catkin queen never officially said to kill her; instead I did befriend her, and show her how to make her own realm too. It diminished her need to hunt cattle."
"Would you have done it the same, if you had a chance, to ... to befriend her?"
"Yes."
I didn't add more; Roia didn't challenge me for more; yet the silence was ... oh wait I'm hearing a faint rumble now. It's dark enough with clouds overhead; I'd think it will rain anytime soon. Better hurry up!
'Silence' being deafening or not ... storm soon to arrive or not ... I am ready to move on.
"The arachne queen ... is a whole other issue. Remember I said something of three females who seem to have some resistance to the boon? Well this arachne queen was one ― but murderous about me. She till gives me the shivers; she's the first 'kill order' I actually did complete with regret, in that fifth year. From other writings in the esteemed vaults, I would presume support from someone powerful is needed ― basically I pled for the dragon queen to be my help. I did befriend the dragon lady earlier in the year; so she wasn't completely on board but also not rejecting it outright. She also had her run ins with others of this race and she wanted an opening to blow off some steam."
"So she was a friend, at one time? Not like she ended up mad, doing what she did so recently?"
"Most definitely. Consider it was our second emotionally bonding moment. Except with the arachne fighting me ... my dragon friend ended up scorching the whole side of the mountain, to stop their almost murderous rage or rampage. The arachne would have shred me, no lie; but since the dragon queen Indaba had an emotional investment with me ... she had to intervene. It burned me too; but I healed after limping back to the camp, and fending off more girls on the team. I'll never forget ― even singed, walking with pain, wounded so much even a lowly slime could have one hit killed me ... that did not stop them wanting me."
"... ouch. Times ten." She lifts an eyebrow. "But ... you did eventually return to the princess, um-"
"Princess Nyandra, youngest daughter of Queen VicNyanne. Year six was me submitting myself for the marriage ceremony, with a public marriage rite, followed by a long year and a half honeymoon. Well ... not a full year and a half; but it felt like it. We got to see a lot of places and meet a lot of people ... despite this damnable boon ... but generally had fun. Returned to VicNyanne's land and received an estate to live upon, for the rest of our days. Had a son with Nyandra, named him Tomara; he would be not quite one year old by now, if- um. But it's while Nyandra was pregnant with him that I ... visited Indaba, the dragon queen. Okay so I was attracted to her in her human form-"
"-what ... do you mean."
"Dragons are powerful entities. Made even more powerful in how the pantheon very much commissioned the ancient dragons and their kin to watch over the mana flows, to manage the 'ley lines'. It's what makes Pernam so mana strong, unlike Klee. The dragons ... or at least the queen dragon ... has the capacity to see things in ways we cannot. They can maybe manage aspects of that world that mere humans and cats and dogs cannot even fathom. But Indaba ... we connected. Call it an affair or whatever; but I didn't think playing around would get her pregnant with my genetics and hers being ... different. But it did. And the dragon egg being hatched, and her rage at me ... was literally when I placed the portal on the balcony and went inside my realm. I had to mute my emotions just to talk to you ― in your room."
This, more than anything said before, shocks her the most. For her to now realize how recent, in fact, this assassination of the people had happened ― she'll either love me or hate me for this fact.
"Yes, Roia. I have faced the consequences of my actions. I do know seriously so much now, how my own acts can doom not only me, but now many others. I don't want to not tell you and have you think me a great person; I am as weak as you maybe. I have my own baggage, to cry upon some shoulder, someday. Maybe yours, maybe someone else's shoulder. But it is still fresh in mind, and it will be for some long time." I wait for reactions; but finding no verbal response, I continue. "So I believe I know myself well; but I never forget where I came from and the successes and failures I faced. You may only know of my 'family' through references told you by Ceevah or myself; and even if this reveal was a shocker ― I've got one more."
Roia takes this in calmly, and in some respects maybe with a growing compassion, maybe despite her own better judgement. I can only suspect her own family life is just as broken or dysfunctional, if she won't even blink an eye for some of this. But I've calmly watched her too, so I can determine what some of her own cues might be, through what I'm saying.
"Alright Arthur; I'm ready. Tell me-"
"-even if you say this, I'm uncertain how you'll handle it ― about these races on Pernam. I did mention it's all catkin ― humanoid variants of Terran cats but bipedal and sentient like us. I don't know how are around other races-"
"-I'm fine with them if they're fine with me. Just, tell me already-"
"-alright then. So ― it's the ending of phase four of my life, then ― when a tough event occurs. To set it up: even though I mainly quit as the hero or retired to a private life ― I couldn't leave the matriarchy. For the simple reason I don't want to open a power vacuum. I was still needed in some things. Yet my fellow humans there did not like this; in fact they tried to both coerce and bribe me to join them. In what reason, I didn't know at first; but then they even tried pushing ― little challenges ― minor attacks I fended off, feeling confused. Until one dark day: what I thought was a renegade band besieging me ― turns out to have been an assassination attempt ― versus me, my wife, and my child. By ... humans."
Roia's face clouds up ... not unlike what I'm seeing in the sky above us. "What, why would humans attack humans ― I mean why. What did you do-"
"-it wasn't my doing. To make a long story short, some ancient records note how humans used to rule Pernam, all human kingdoms and such; but at some point they lost the deities' favor. I can guess to fill in some blanks in the historical record; maybe the deities decided to upset a balance and let some other sentient race take over. Catkin are always big schemers; it's a stroke of genius the deities of Pernam would use them to upset things. But, maybe it's overdone how thorough they made an upset. A human faction which first saw dominance soon went into hiding. They don't want to be dismissed by the deities so easily; they themselves are plotting and planning, to this day, to return. Even if this means ... killing innocents."
Roia narrows her eyes, considering. "Wait ― if the catkin won then, how didn't they decimate or dominate humans, since then?"
"They almost did, at times; except for one small factor. Some catkin wizards would experiment, to craft this realm project ― a place to train the Heroes who are summoned at their queen's call. Heroes summoned are always human, male, and fifteen. Always. Which means the human remnant of Pernam only need stay silent while they seduce or subvert enough Heroes to assist them; and ... keep in espionage and surveillance of the catkin. In time they accessed the catkin wizards' realm lore. They have a few of them; or had ― once they revealed their hand trying to assassinate my wife and son ― I hunted them. Neytaan and I ― we did fight through three realms, trashed them, slaughtered in kind."
I voice this, so firmly. I remember even now, this betrayal by fellow humans ― how they stormed inside my dwelling, they sought to just ... murder my dear wife and innocent child, in cold blood-
"I have dark memories which I should probably never tell you the full extent. I have enough nightmares to keep me awake for a lifetime. That's part of the reason for the sleep boon for my bed and beds of my minions here. It counters bad memories or motives to act badly to its lowest level ― which for the minions, their summoned state staves off the rest. Which means it works here like this, for now. But back in Pernam ... I both do and do not want to return. I want a chance to mourn the loss of so many ― catkin and others too ― from my own trash misfortunes of time spent with the dragon lady. But also I do not want to face it; I'd be facing a serious emotional flood I can't handle ― not alone. And now I'm not sure who to ... trust, either."
"Wait, hold on Arthur, let me understand ― the humans are willing to kill, on race alone? Or, only because catkin are in power and not humans?"
"Honestly? I'm not fully sure if that's all ― I have not had the chance to ask. But I'd think based on what I've read or seen ― probably equally both, if not slightly skewed more to the latter than the former. I might be wrong though. Nika was not-"
"-Nika?"
"One of the four humans I saw from day one of my summon, and a constant annoyance through this decade. She's also one of those who made herself available to be at my side, and often part of my quests ― just to infer she is always available for ― mating. No, I never ― not with her. Nika was never as honest with me as I am with you, now. I don't want to see what she may do, if I let her lead me into something I don't want to join. And when it came time for the 'human agenda', as I call them now, to attack my family ― I never did see her again, in my 'revenge' time. Or I would have murdered her in cold blood, as well. Oh, sorry; but I can only admit to what she drove me to do."
"... Arthur let's set aside the darkest parts of this. You're saying, this Nika is ... a major kingpin in their operation?"
"I'm not sure it's like this; but yes, in a way. Trust me if you meet her ... she'll stay silent til she 'figures' you out; then play a sweet sister, while plotting to use you. You'll want to hit her too."
Roia blinks, doubting. "... she wouldn't dare try with me-"
"But for me ― she did always put herself within reach, once a 'charisma boon' ramped up. It seems the first half year maybe the charisma boon wasn't on me so strong; but it did slowly increase in depth to be so ... insidious. And with it ― along with every other female near me so assertive, of their fecund or fertile nature ― Nika did as well. No, since I think of it, Nika didn't seem as 'affected' by this boon as others; scratch a number three; add Nika as number four. But anyway; affected or not ― she's playing a part of being ... a potential mate. Playing shy, submissive, but willing to be mated, to me alone. Humans and catkin are antagonistic of each other; thus she readily plays like she has no options but me."
"Then ― is she dead, or not?"
"I don't know. She might have been on the invasion to attack my wife and child; Nyandra got one but I don't know who. I honestly melted those who attacked us; I was that level of pissed off. And being a ninth level wizard, already ― I had reason to practice what I learned. What ― you think I should have taken captives? interrogate them for the fun of it?"
"N, no ... I get it, they ruined your happy life-"
"-it wasn't perfect, and I'm not claiming it was, Roia! It's how they interfere in so much, in so many things. You know what ― if I do go back there ... I'm still so pissed off, I'll be hunting them. To me, it's been nine months since this attack; eight and a half months since Neytaan and I swept through three realms ― but I'm not done with them. And, if I return: I'm positive, they won't be done with me. Tit for tat; give and take, an eye for an eye ― it's not over."
"Then ... you can't just focus on Klee, for a while-"
"-but it will drain me."
"Drain ... how?"
"As I said ― Pernam is very mana dense, it's got an excess; my time in Pernam has ideally allowed it to permeate into the depth of my body. This mana within me while in Pernam has balanced a long time ago. But, since I'm also summoned to Klee ― I slowly 'leak' mana from my body, 'equalize' this mana pressure, with what world or realm I'm in. No; it's not so sudden, but it is at a constant rate. Since I made my realm while on Pernam, it's mostly three quarters the mana density as Pernam so an imbalance between there and here isn't as noticed. But Klee, on the other hand ― will drain me, to spend much time there. It's a trait of a trained wizard to be forever concerned about such things. I never know when I'll be in a situation where I'm lacking mana to use."
"... aah, I got it. So you want to go some place in Pernam, without your presence being revealed?"
"Exactly. And as it is now ― only two places exist. One, directly into the nest of the dragon queen ― that portal, right there. And two, to the demon queen's home, partly demolished and deserted since five years past. That portal, over there. Both of these, are currently my only two options back into Pernam; the other portals are either the one here into Klee, or those which Indaba nuked, in flaming breath. If I go through to where she is, I face her rage, and maybe ninety percent probability of my death. If I go through to the demon queen's place ... uncertain result. A fair part of her realm has seen damage, either by accident or intent, during a final quest there."
"... oh the accidental part, you'll have to explain-"
"-ha. Yeah, I explained to my team then, all hotheaded muscles, they should not damage any load bearing structures, but one of them did not believe me this was a thing. One of the races is a lizard race; one of their kind was a male name Rrulfo ― not the brightest bulb in the room, but tough. He took a swing at a column inside the demon queen's observatory ― one which supports the floors above ― and down it came, the rest of us getting out. But not him."
"I'll guess your portal to the demon realm is not within the observatory, or it would not be told as a place to go."
"It is not; it was in fact inside the demon queen's ... ahem. Bedroom."
"So now we're back to that, Arthur. Why there?"
"Because. My time at the beck and call of VicNyanne ― she often set the missions to divert me or my attention from Nyandra or Nyandra from being available when I am. It became such a sad joke. I am not inhuman, either; I did have an unhealthy urge to watch what I could not have ... for whatever reason. But mostly because some of those missions were to 'watch such-and-such person'; so what better way to do this watching than to insert a portal within their bedchambers? You'd be shocked how many people spill their secrets in what comes to pillow talk. Plus VicNyanne more or less infers she didn't care if I be intimate with other females ― plus pushing me to any of her citizens and away from her family."
"Mm. Well whatever. Arthur ... all I want to know now is ... can I trust you, or not."
"If I just answer a straight out 'yes' it might seem too easy, so ... I could attempt either a pro/con list or a chronological high point listing, if you like? I'll keep it brief."
At her silent nod, I sigh. This might be the last of it I'll try, before we rush inside.
"Trust is always a double edged sword, though ... I have to trust in you too, if I tell you the worst parts, and hope you do not betray me either."
"I won't ― if you remember, the king also put me at your command. The strength of the slave bond might not seem strong to you; but I do feel an imperative to not ... harm you."
... good to note-
"Okay. A 'pro' side is mostly ― I'll persevere. No matter where my life takes me, no matter what is thrown at me ... I continue. I know myself, my strengths and weaknesses, yet I'm trying to always look to the future, not the past. If you are to trust me, it's in how I'll not give up on trying to do the right thing within whatever bounds I'm faced with doing. I truly still do not want to be living ... AFK. I have also learned and trained so many things, I'm an asset to any world, to any person I meet and befriend. I've worked so hard to maintain my integrity among "
"The primary source as you might agree for the 'con' side, is-" I say with hesitation, "-this existence of a 'charismatic boon'. It's no boon to me, or any summoned hero if you think about it. I mean ― why? Why a charisma boon at all? It only forces others to being drawn toward the human male ― whose only purpose then is to be breeding stock if not a hero. I'm confused on this point too. Something deeper is going on, and I can't stop it the way I am. Even so ... I fight it. But that's not the only con, of course. I've been knocked around by the human agenda as much as the few catkin who doubt I'm still caring about them after my broken slave state was revealed. As a result of that ... I did give in to anger, and ... fought back. Aside from this ... I have periods of feeling lazy too."
Her mouth drops open, as I end this. "... seriously ... Arthur? Not going to include the perversion-"
"-I am not perverse by nature. Roia. Remember, I attribute all of that, to the boon. Throw that out, and all will be fine with me. Honestly, that's it."
This feels like it's nearing our hard break moment; maybe mimicking the blowing up afternoon clouds above us now. Roia is so certain, I should 'own up to' some perverse side of me. I truly am not perverse; or maybe if I act in a perverse manner ... it's playing a part. A role I cast myself into performing, all for some benefit at a later time.
She however may disagree; I'm almost certain she thinks my truth is still some 'male hormone driven cop-out'. I however know it's not; I know from my life experience just how real all of these things are, and have been. It's a serious case in how it's no longer funny to even talk about ― it's depressing. A merry-go-round I cannot disembark from. Yet if I'm trying to see if she is going to remain my friend ... I have to face her honestly and at least consider her ideas ... before rejecting them.
"Okay then let's go back to what I said earlier. Let's assume all of that is true; what then? What next, here, with you and I? Or even just you?"
"I want a whole lot of things though. And maybe most of it I can't find out, right now ... in the other world." I pause, and let her stew on this; then I continue after she looks at me with expectation of my further explanation. "Okay. First and foremost is if I can find out why the boon and how to remove it. Second is finding out whether or not I have anything left in Pernam to return to ... for whatever reason. Third, dealing with what remains of a 'human agenda'. Fourth ... if I have to go so far ... should be, determining whether I have any utility in regards to Klee. But through all of this, I still want to know you remain my friend. We've both been at an inconvenience; and I hope you aren't taking out your frustrations with men on me-"
"-well I don't think I am, but ― maybe. Arthur I know you promised what you did; but part of me finds it easy to doubt even you. What they say, 'if it sounds too good to be true ... it might be'. So I wondered all along how truthful you are being. I believe you're being honest in the extent you believe what you're saying; but then again, those soldiers of barrack seventeen also believed they're right to do those things. Do you know what I mean?"
She makes a good point, actually. I've considered these things in myself in this respect, long before now. I might believe these things about myself, but I've also challenged myself at every turn. It's why my innermost thoughts go to the extent of rethinking things so much, instead of blindly acting like others have. So yes, she's right to question me in these regards; but also how can I negate these concerns for her?
I sigh. She knows this moment is heavy for me; I see it in her face, she also wonders if she pushed me too far.
"... yeah ... I know what you're saying. But Roia ― I felt a raindrop ... let's go inside."
"I felt it."
