“Alright, the pizza is here.” Rick said. 

“I can’t believe you sometimes.” I said, shaking my head. 

“What? It’s pizza dude. Oh, yeah, no, don’t worry. I made sure not to get vegan or anything like that. You were like, there when I ordered it. It’s just pepperoni and sausage. Unless ya suddenly stopped wanting to eat those?” 

“It’s not the pizza it’s… why did you order so many?! You ordered from like twelve different places! And fried chicken too?” 

“What. You don’t want to eat it? Well I guess I could hog it all to myself… but I bet someone wants to have a pepperoni and sausage pizza. Possibly the last one they’ll have in a while after they bust outta here and return to a hellscape of an apocalypse.”

Rick then moved the pizza right under my nose, swaying it back and forth, a wide smile on his face.

“...Give me the damn pizza.” 

As I was greatly enjoying the sweet richness of meat in my mouth, Rick spoke up. 

“But no, seriously dude, this is all for you. From what you’ve told me… you gotta get the food in while you can. No more fried chicken, pizza, or even mashed potatoes. Corn, green beans, hell, even water might not be good, safe, or easy to find. After this, you’ll be surviving off literal darkness which is rad as hell but… yeah, probably doesn’t taste that great.” 

My heart clenched for a moment, both from gratitude and horror. 

“Yeah, that’s definitely the right face to make at that. Anyway, so let’s get to work. I got the laptop and we’re both just gonna have to skip class. Thank god I didn’t pick up any work like you recommended.” 

“What about sports?” I asked. 

“Uh, like, dude. It won’t matter anyway you know? Sides, I can’t say I’m not relieved to get outta it. I always wanted to play basketball or football but best I could do was baseball of all things.” 

I looked deadpan at Rick. That was a steaming pile of bullcrap. He had tried out for both Basketball and Football, and gotten in of course, and then refused to do the work and got kicked out for not being a team player. Baseball was just easier for him to coast with. 

“It’s a miracle you’re making it through college.” I said. 

“Pshh, yeah right. Mechanical engineering is cool as hell… when it’s not utterly boring anyways. But eat your pizza. I’ll be checking out a few hunches I’ve got while you start reading those books okay?” 

I nodded and our work began. That work being research. Specifically, researching dream worlds. There was a shit ton of books, movies, and more where someone gets trapped in a dream like world. And I needed to know how to escape one. Rick was going at a different angle for now, researching a few other things. He’d eventually get around to the dream stuff too, and maybe a few other important things, but getting back to the real world where I was probably being slowly eaten was the most important thing. 

The hours began to wind away and I had to put most of the food in the fridge. Rick had not held back. There was chinese food, two pizza’s, a whole thing of chicken, an assortment of vegetables from some restaurant and 8 more bags I hadn’t even managed to open yet. It was fucking delicious and made me wish to pay back Rick in some way. I had been stupid enough to say “I’ll pay you back.” And Rick had burst out laughing. He’d just said that’ll it be hilarious when I suddenly hand ‘him’ a bunch of money and say “Oh yeah, dream you bought me a ton of food.” He was still chuckling about it. 

“Any luck?” I finally said. 

“Huh? Shouldn’t I be asking that of you?” 

“Come on, my brain is melting over here. I’ve read about two dozen different movie synopsis’s and ruined the ending of at least twenty books. Even TV shows have been gutted. I’ve got a lot but my brain needs a break.” 

“Well… on the dream front, I did run into a few weird ones. But if we have to do any of the ones I found on Wattpad, I’m sorry to say bro, you’re just gonna have to die.” 

I gave Rick a dead half lidded stare, while he looked at me with a smile like that of safe that had found nirvana. I was more than tempted to throw my pizza at him. 

“Come on though, what else have you been working on.”

“Well…” Rick said a bit hesitantly. Which rang alarm bells immediately. “Does this look familiar.” 

He pulled up an image on my laptop and for a second, I was struck deja vu. Actually yeah that looked kinda familiar but… 

“Isn’t that just a gas station?” 

“Yeah, but what about this?” He spun the image around, it being on google maps apparently and- 

My heart hammered in my chest. 

“Where is that?” I asked, nearly dropping my soda. 

It was a gas station and across from it was a road… that led to apartment buildings. I’d never forget those buildings and or gas station. That was the town I’d been in. The town I’d spawned in. Except bright and sunny and normal. 

“Dude… this is our town.” 

“What?! No that’s… that can’t be possible. That’s where I spawned in the other world. What do you mean that’s our town?” 

Rick swiveled around fully and stared at me, putting the laptop down. 

“Alright. I have a theory. You went to a new world right? But that’s not what you told me. That’s not what she, the goddess bitch that you sent there, said. Right?” 

I tried to remember and the words that had felt like glue in my brain, were as thin as any memories. But I pulled and pulled and- 

“Well, I suppose it is just the greatest gameshow on your Earth.”

“Your Earth… right, she mentioned that at least… once or twice. So you’re saying that I spawned on, what, an exact replica of our planet? In an exact replica of our town?” 

“Hey dude, multiverse theory. Maybe the only difference between that world and ours is the apocalypse… or you were never even born there or something.” 

“I guess… but I didn’t even realize it was our town. Shouldn’t I have?” 

Rick actually snorted. 

“Why would you? When was the last time you, or anyone for that matter, walked through their town? You drive to college and back home and maybe to a few stores, that doesn’t make you expert on the geography around you. That’s without being chased by monsters or stuck in an eternal night. But this is an advantage. Now, you can research the town map and actually know where you’re going.” 

That… would be pretty great actually. It was still weird but it was actually incredibly useful if I knew where I was and where I could go. 

“Alright, your turn. How do we get you out?” 

I sighed. 

“It’s all… well, convoluted. One of the main ways is location based. You just, go from where you entered. But I entered in the hospital and I didn’t see anywhere that looked like an exit there.” 

“Alright, pass on that then.” 

“The next is destroying the ‘manifestation’ of what brought me here. And that’s… well, that would be Nurse Kelly.” 

Rick’s face became hard as iron at that. 

“We’ll… put it on the backburner.” 

I had a good friend, but maybe too good of a friend sometimes. I really, really wanted to say ‘We are not killing anyone!’ but… if this was a dream… 

“A-Anyway, another is crossing through a mirror.” 

“Any mirror?” 

“Yeah, seems like.” 

Five minutes later and that was a bust. 

“Well it was worth a try.” Rick said and I nodded. 

“Next is falling.” 

“Falling?” 

“Yup. From a really, really high building or something. Apparently I’ll ‘Jerk’ awake.” 

“We’ll start looking for places and ways to bungee jump I guess. Next?” 

“Well…” I was hesitant but it was a very common way. It’s just that… “In a lot of dreams you… well… the dream has to die-” 

“No.” Rick said, voice like steel. 

“Rick it might be the only way-” 

“Matt. No.” Rick said and there was not a hint of give in that expression. He was willing to help me escape… but not if it meant I was going to die. “We’ll figure out some other way. Next?” 

“Well, where there’s an entrance there usually is an exit. I may have entered from the hospital bed, but there ‘might’ be another way to leave. But that could be anything. It could be my own dreams, a specific activity, a specific place, I really have no idea.” 

“Hmm. Well, nothing to do it but look into it right? We’ll just need to keep looking. I’ll also look into this Qi and system thing. I never read any of those books but if you’re going back out to an apocalypse you better prepare as much as possible.” 

I nodded and like that, the day passed. Rick didn’t even bother going home, just crashing in the living room. Jessica texted me and I was scared shitless. I wanted to tell her but… how would she react? Rick was cool but she might just think I’m crazy. Or worse. Rick seemed chill that he wasn’t real but that was not normal. Maybe for Rick it was but I’d be freaking the fuck out if I thought I was just a fake in someone else’s head. 

The day passed and went and when I woke up, spot was on top of my chest, licking my face. He’d barely left me alone since I got here and holding him up in my arms made my heart feel at ease. 

“Spot… I’m going to save you. The real you. I promise.” 

“Ruff!” 

Some good belly rubs and I got back to researching while Spot pretended to be a cat, resting in my lap, his ears flopping in his sleep. I wonder what he was dreaming of. I wonder what that was like, people having dreams within dreams. 

Rick was up bright and early and- 

“Hey! Is that my toothbrush?!” 

Rick paused in mid brush. 

“Mwaybe?” 

“Gross dude.” 

He finished up, with my damn toothbrush, and came back. 

“Ehh, it’s all not real so does it really matter?” 

“Of course it does! I… Rick… you… you matter.” 

Rick blinked and turned. 

“Oh. Uh. Shit, sorry dude. I didn’t mean it like that. But hey, I’m like a memory right? So it’s not like I’m going anywhere. I’m just getting you out of your head and back to the real world. The real, horribly, fucked up zombie apocalypse world.” 

“Gee, thanks.” 

“Anytime.” He said, before shooting me a thumbs up. 

The research wasn’t useless, I was rapidly memorizing the map of the town and learning a lot more about Qi and Systems in novels. That seemed to be where both of those were majorly used. Qi was… complicated? Simple? It was the energy of the universe which sounded a lot like magic. Apparently there was something called the ‘Dao’ but in a few books dao was just a word for path and everything revolved around ‘Qi’ alone. I was really hoping it was the second one because I didn’t think I was going to have the time to realize any mystical epiphany’s. But there were all sorts of things people could apparently do with it. At the low end, like where I was, strengthening the body was everything. But apparently there were breakthroughs and when you broke through, you became more. That would probably shoot my stats up and make it harder to raise each realm. Apparently, the ‘Qi realm’ usually had ten or twelve steps. After that was the ‘foundation’ realm. It apparently went up nearly infinitely, until you became immortal… and a God. 

Which made the achievement description make more sense. 

Next was system and man… there were thousands of different variations. But on the other hand… there was so little gain there. The system was the system and most times you leveled up by fighting. I didn’t. Which made things harder. I needed to be entertaining and only leveled up by the Gods. Something I was in the middle of mentioning to Rick, when he stopped. 

“What’s your plan by the way?” 

“My plan? Uhh… level up, get stronger, save you guys?” 

“No, that’s a goal, what are you going to actually do when you get back?” Rick said, seriously. 

“Probably kill the nurses that stuck me here and escape this damn hospital. After that… try to find more challenges? I think going to the police station might have one… thought it might also have zombies with guns and that would be terrible. I could also-” 

“Stop. Nope. That’s a terrible plan.” 

“What?” I asked, bewildered. I thought it was pretty good actually… 

“Your thinking about this too… mechanically.” Rick chuckled at that wording, probably because he was going to be a mechanical engineer, before becoming serious again. 

“You’re being watched by Gods. Gods that, in your own words, can level you up if they rate the ‘show’ highly. Tell me, how interesting would it be for someone to just go around completing challenge after challenge after challenge?” 

I blinked at Rick. 

“Rick, I’m trying to survive.” 

“And the best way to do that, and to save us, is to be entertaining. That means you can’t just do random challenges for Qi points, you need to have a real plan, a plot, a story! Amazing arcs, drama, reasons for people to watch the next episode and the one after that and etc etc.” 

“Rick I… I have no idea how to do any of that. I’ve never been to theatre in my life, let alone tried to turn my whole life into one while I’m trying to simply survive!” 

“Survival is boring.” Rick said brutishly, chopping the air. “You need to thrive. You need to have a goal that will make interesting events happen. A long term goal, that will complete your even longer term goal of saving all of us and yourself. That way you’ll actually win the game show.” 

“Well… what on earth am I supposed to do Rick? All I have is a sword and some armor, maybe if it hasn’t stolen or taken away by monsters, and a town full of you know, monsters. They’re stuff straight out of a horror film man… and you want me, to, what go on an adventure? Go save a princess or something to be entertaining? I really have no idea what to do.” 

“Hmm. Well, we still have some time. We’ll work on it. I’ll read some interesting books and maybe we can think of something. Don’t worry dude, we’ll make you a TV star yet!” Rick shot me a thumbs up and I sighed. 

But he was right. I considered myself a very plain, boring, average person. Which… was exactly the wrong person to have on TV. If I was Rick, I’d already be trying to mow through the whole town and trying to demolish everything I could or something. Probably as entertainingly as possible. Which… I’d probably need to start doing. 

“Hey, wait a minute.” Rick said. “You killed over a thousand zombies right? Just by stabbing them in the head?” 

“Well, yeah. It took forever. That was terrible.” 

Rick looked at me deadpan. 

“Do you think that was very interesting for the people watching?” 

“Uhhh…” 

Rick clapped me on the shoulder. 

“At this rate, we’re all doomed.” 

“Rick! Come on man. What do you want me to do?! I don’t, I can’t just conjure an ‘interesting story’ out of thin air and in case you’ve gotten, I have to deal with that. Do you think fighting zombies and black skeletons that can rip you apart and scorpion-ant things and masses of black tar with dozens of eyes and mouths is fun?! I’m currently, maybe, dying. Possibly stuck here, before I just blink and it’s all over one day. And you want me to become an actor on top of all that, to seek out some kind of higher goal? Come on!” 

Rick nodded, listening to me, continued nodding, and then- 

“Yup! That’s exactly what I want you to do. Cuz if ya don’t, you’re screwed my brother. So start becoming way more interesting.” 

I wanted to strangle Rick but instead kept searching dreams. A different goal though huh… I’d have to think of something. 

The next few days were… weird. Very, very weird as we tried damn near everything. We snuck (walked) back into the hospital and explored as much of it as we could without raising suspicion. Rick had found a really cool trampoline place that let you fall from an incredibly high height onto a big inflatable thing. That had fun and scary. We’d tried to do some kind of reverse inception nonsense while I was sleeping that just had me waking up tired. We tried more mirrors. We pinching myself, pushing my fingers into my palms, saying “Wake up!” and more. It felt like things were starting to become hopeless. 

And worse, I was… trying to push Jessica away. And it was working, she was giving me space and time but it hurt. And I know it hurt her too. We had finally started getting close… and I needed to leave. She thought it was just because of the week long coma but ughh. 

“Maybe I really do need to die to get out…” 

“Matt, no, dude, come on. Look, we’ll get you out of here somehow. How on Earth does everyone make this look so easy?” 

“I have no idea. Ughh. I have no idea how I’m even able to read this. I’ve never read any of these books in my life. Is my subconscious really making this? That doesn’t seem to make any sense. Maybe… Rick, maybe this isn’t a dream world at all. Maybe-”

“Wait.” Rick said, a lightbulb seeming to go off for him. “You’re right. All of this stuff… you could never think of it on your own. You ain’t that smart.” 

“Wow. Thanks man. Go fuck yourself.” 

“I’ll leave that for the women out there.” Rick said with a wink and a smile. 

“Ew.”  

“Anyway, yeah, why is all of this here? It doesn’t make sense unless… this isn’t your brain at all we’re in.” 

“That’s what I’m saying. Maybe I’m just delusional and-” 

“Shhh. So if we’re not inside your head… but you were put to sleep to get… where are we?” 

I frowned and thought. It was almost like a riddle but… 

“Another Earth maybe?” 

“Nah.” Rick immediately shot down. “We’re assuming your body is still in that hospital while your mind is somewhere else.” 

“I don’t know, the collective consciousness of mankind or something?” 

Rick’s eyebrows shot to the roof. 

“That’s it!” 

“What? No it’s not that, that’s completely stupid and ridiculous.” 

“No no no, not, not collective consciousness. The collective subconscious. You’re not inside your head Matt… you’re inside everyone’s head!” 

“That still doesn’t make any sense Rick! I’m not even on Earth, how on Earth would that work?” 

“Who said the… uh… dream world made any sense? Who said it was limited to dimensions or planes or planets? You’re human, you have a subconscious, a mind, maybe that’s all you need!” 

“Rick. I mean this. I think your idea is stupid but… we’ve tried a lot of stupid already over the past few days. So let’s say you’re right. How on earth do we escape from the collective subconscious of everyone on the planet of Earth?” 

“Hmm.” Rick said and thought. “Well, how do people think we can escape this world and reality?” 

“Death.” 

“Nope. Next.” 

“Uhhh… space?” 

We both looked up at the ceiling. 

““...”” 

“...Next.” Rick finally said, not even going to pretend like we could get me to space. 

“I don’t know, the fucking backrooms or something?” 

“Dude! Hell yeah! We get to go to the backrooms!” 

“What, no! The backrooms aren’t real.” 

“Neither am I! Come on man, this is going to be so cool! Alright, so, how do we get there?” 

“This may be the dumbest line of thought we’ve gone down yet. Just so we’re clear, you, because the world seems real, think we’re in some type of dream or astral plane. Where everyone’s thoughts are. And because it’s everyone’s thoughts… you think for some reason the backrooms not only exist but is my way out.” 

“Yes.” 

“Fuck it, sure. How do we get there?” 

A quick google search and…

“Dude, you’re not gonna fucking believe this.” Rick said. 

“I’m staring right at it and I still don’t believe it.” 

There was a location, marked “The Backrooms” on our google maps. Looking at the pictures… it looked exactly like the meme/horror story phenomena. 

“Oh my god… this might actually work.” I said. 

“We better load up. The backrooms don’t seem like an easy place to be. I’ll get the food and water, you make sure you’ve learned anything you want to learn before we leave. We can stop by a hardware store. Damn, we’ll probably need weapons too. I think my dad has an old katana I could grab for you.” 

“Don’t you have guns or something?” 

“Dude, you know, of course I don’t just randomly have guns and how are you going to get them? Be lucky we’re going to at least have swords because my dad’s an otaku. Or do you just want to try with whatever we find at the hardware store?” 

“I’ll take the stupid katana. When are we going to leave?” 

“Tommorow night, for sure. It’ll take me some time to prepare everything today and if there’s any last bits of knowledge you want to jam into your skull, or last things you want to do, now is the time.” 

I instantly glanced over at my phone, where Jessica was only a call away, and over to spot who was sleeping on my bed. Rick’s face both softened and seemed to harden, as if he was deeply pained but sympathetic. 

“...Hey. It’s your choice to call her but… you’ll see her again soon.” 

I nodded but my heart still clenched. 

For the rest of the day I played with Spot. His adorable barks and excitement helped ease my pain. 

“Ruff!” 

“Come on boy! Go long Spot!” 

I threw the ball, watching Spot run after it and bite it… only to roll along with it. I laughed as he awkwardly but happily brought it back. I brought him up into my arms, feeling his excited small tail whap at my arms. 

“Spot… I’m gonna see you again. I promise. The real you.” 

Spot didn’t understand a word, he’d be strange if he did, but I just held him close for the moment. I’d have to say goodbye tomorrow. Goodbye for a very, very long time. 

“When I picked you up… I promised to take care of you. I am going to keep that promise.” 

Soon, a much harder goodbye awaited me.

*****

“Matt!” Jessica said, her sapphire like eyes practically sparkling. Her smile was radiant and I felt a part of me dying at what I was going to have to say. 

“Hey Jessica. It’s great to see you.” I managed to get out, but I wasn’t fooling anyone clearly. 

“Matt… what’s wrong?” Jessica’s morphed into worry and it was like I was being stabbed in the chest. But Rick wasn’t my only friend. Before my maybe, probably, girlfriend… Jessica was there for me, by my side. 

“Something is… going on. I… you’re going to think I’m crazy but… but you need to believe me. Please.” 

Jessica nodded cautiously and I entered her house. 

******

There was a knock on the door and I moved to answer it. It opened and Rick was already talking even before it finished. 

“Alright Matt, I got everything we’re… going… to…… need. Hi Jessica.” 

“Hello Rick. So… you’ve both gone insane apparently?” 

“Uh… well…” 

Jessica sighed but she still had come strapped. Unlike us… she was carrying a gun. A pistol. 

“I had to take this from my father. You know, the police officer? You really weren’t going to invite me to this Rick?” 

“Huh?! How are you blaming this on me?! It wasn’t my decision, I never told Matt not to tell you.” 

“You never told him to tell me either.” 

“Ha ha. Well… best to keep things simple?” 

“I swear, there had better be monsters where we’re going or I’m going to end up shooting you both.”