Episode 4: Shorts Minion gets Sacrificed (about time amirite)
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Shorts Minion: And we’re back with another week’s episode of abject garbage that no one wants to read.

Kell Inkston: Careful. They’ll think I’m projecting my insecurities through you.

*Shorts Minion slaps the table and laughs*

Shorts Minion: Oh please. As if you’d ever employ an actual literary device in anything you'd do.

*Shorts Minion turns to the camera*

Shorts Minion: This one’s called Sacrifice. Enjoy if you can!



Luua of Toor is led into the elder’s musty tent by the steady hand of Amuu.

The elder turns to look at her with his wizened cold features and keen eyes. “Well, so today is your sixteenth birthday, is it not?”

Luua, beaming in joy, nods. “That’s right!” She says, brushing Amuu’s arm playfully.

The elder looks to Amuu. Their faces are stern. “You know what this means, don’t you?” the elder asks.

She nods again. “I am of age, and can be bound to a man!” she says, tears of joy descending across her face. “I know precisely who I want to be bound with!” She tightens her grip on Amuu’s arm, his grip tightening in turn.

The elder releases a longer sigh. “You do, do you?”

“Yes! Amuu here! Please, won’t you bind us… as soon as possible, preferably?”

The elder and Amuu share one last glance, this one of such profound bitterness that Luua squints an eye in curiosity. She parts her long, wavy bangs and folds them behind her cinnamon-colored ears. “Is something wrong?”

Amuu looks away. “You should tell her, elder. It is unkind to leave her waiting.”

The elder nods. “Sit down, Luua.” He motions to the other side of the small fire pit. She obliges and the elder begins. “Now, as you know, once a youth reaches sixteen, they are seen as an adult in our village- and that they are to maintain their purity to this point. You have done as such, yes?”

Luua nods energetically as she places her hands on her knees like she’s seen the huntsmen do. “Of course!”

“And so once… two pure youths become bound, their bondage is all the more beautiful, yes, but that… that is not what is fated for you.”

Luua’s grin dies to a smile. “What are you talking of, elder? Am I not of the age for binding?”

“You are, but that is not what is fated for you,” the elder says, his piercing gaze striking into her.

Luua looks over to Amuu, who looks away; she immediately looks back to the elder. “Then what is this about?”

“I did not want to kill your youthfulness so early, I wanted you to have good years growing up- but now you must take up your duty as… the tribute for our village.”

Luua freezes— the news does not quite get through to her; eyes wide with disbelief, she shakes her head. “No.”

“The mark on your cheek is of the shark, the tribute family. Every fifty years, we are to tribute one to The Great Face, lest all the fish swim away, and the hunt leaves us, and our children die early. Your father died in a fishing accident and your mother died as she was giving birth to you, so you are the only one that can take on this duty. I hope you understand, but you must die for us all.”

She’s silent as a starry night, and slowly the clouds blow over her face. A tear of grief streams down her face. “I knew it. I knew something would come between us right at the end… it really was too good to be true. Is there really no one else?”

The elder shakes his head. “No, it must be. I will give you tonight to grieve, but when the great light shines down to us tomorrow, you must be off with your wayfarers. I’ve chosen Amuu and Ruka for the task to make sure the sacrifice happens.”

Luua begins to tremble, as she has no one to grab onto. “You would make the man I love throw me to The Great Face?” She releases a sob. “There is nothing more painful.”

Amuu takes a deep breath and crosses his arms. “I-I’m sorry, but it must happen or everyone will die. You must make me happy and do your dut-”

“Of course it would make you happy! You don’t have to die!” She interrupts him quickly before she returns to her weeping. Amuu places his hand upon her shoulder for only a moment, and is shrugged off in the same second.

“You are… truly inconsolable, then,” Amuu says, turning from her.

The elder stares at her misery and shakes his head. “It has been like this ever since The Great Face had made its decree at the dawn of time: ‘In fifty great rings, I shall have my teeth lined with the blood bound by love, until all is quenched’. Those of your line must be made tribute every fifty years. It is simply the way it must be— forgive me for this. At least take refuge in the knowledge that you will be reunited with your father and mother soon. The next elder will decide which family shall be the next one of the tributes, as you are the last of your line. I’m sorry.”

Her body arched in agony and her hands wet with her sorrow, she utters her final words for the night. “I will accept this duty, but I will curse my mother and father once I meet them in spirit.” She was led back to her lonesome family tent, and was guarded the entire night by the man she, just this morning, loved more than anyone. She stares at the one thing she remembers from her father, a small, now broken fishing spear- hung up pathetically over the entrance of the tent. It's her last sight as she enters a restless sleep filled with cold, horrible dreams.



Hours later, the morning comes— and so does Amuu to fold up the opening to Luua’s tent. “Light’s up, it’s time to go,” he says in a blunt, emotionless tone. She scrunches into herself, raising a sigh from him. “Luua, I’m not happy about this either, but we both have jobs to do. I promise I’ll bind with you in the spirit, how’s that?”

“Could you really wait until you die?”

He smiles, “Yes.”

She turns to him and looks with eyes wide in hope. “Then, tribute yourself with me! Let’s go to the spirit together!”

Amuu flinches and takes a moment to respond. Her gaze bitters again. “I’m sorry. That’s… that’s a lot to ask,” he says.

“And I curse you too,” she responds.

He clenches his fists and opens the entry wider for her. “Get up, it’s time.”

“I wish it was you being made tribute instead.”

“Out, now.” He waits for her to get up for a moment and then pulls her up and out of the tent himself. Immediately she’s dressed by the women of the village to be the tribute, some of them in tears, and others just glad it’s not their daughter in her place. The feathers are lined into her hair, the paint is smeared across the entirety of her body, and the raiment cape is placed upon her. She is bright in colors of red and green, the traditional visuals for both life and death. Luua’s then led to the boat that will take her to the island of The Great Face. She spots Ruka, who gives a half-hearted wave to her with a smile that would say something along the lines of 'this is going to be the worst three days of my life.'

“Eh, hey, Luua,” Ruka says, holding down his tremors as Luua comes up to him.

“Shut up, Ru,” she says as she passes him by— he hates being called 'Ru'.

He nods and takes up his long paddle. “Fine.” Amuu pushes Luua into the boat, ties her ankle to it, and they shove off with a goodbye that no one would perceive as tearful. Most of the villagers seem to be almost happy that her death’s going to ensure more food for them; they all look awkward— as if they all know they should be feeling bad, but don’t. She just curls up miserably in the boat as they shove off. Amuu looks to Ruka.

“So we’re going west to the island; there’s enough food for us three on the way there and us two on the way back,” he starts as he leans back and watches Ruka row them through the wading waters, “so be good, Luua, and don’t try to run off- or I’ll bring you back every time.”

Luua scoffs. “Well I might as well just keep running away, maybe I’ll make you both starve.” She grins, and shoves her feet into Amuu’s side.

“As if I wanted to kill you, Luua,” he says, shoving her feet to the edge of the boat.

“Uh, same here.”

The two look at Ruka, and then back to each other. “I still can’t believe you’re going to go through with this- I can’t believe I loved you!” She crosses her arms and turns away as the island begins to fade into the gray.

“I have a job, you know- they needed able-bodied men to escort the sacrifice, and I was chosen; I didn’t ask to do it!” He shoves her back.

“Then I’m sure you must know how I’m feeling, considering you won’t even die with the girl you said you’d marry!”

Ruka sighs and Amuu clenches his fists. “You idiot!” Amuu yells, “There’s no damn purpose to killing two people! I can still live my life! I’m not going to let you keep me down!”

“Well good!” She snaps back, “I wouldn’t want you to inconvenience yourself!”

Amuu takes a deep breath. “I knew this is how you’d respond! Always yourself! Never the village! Don’t you care about anyone?!

“Maybe if they cared about me, bastard!”

“Bitch!” Amuu spits.

“Non-committal coward!” Luua snaps.

“I’m committed to serving my village! Maybe you should try it sometime!

She raises her hands. “ ‘Wow, please kill yourself! I love you but just die! It’s for the good of the village!’ Why don’t you bite me, Amuu! You piece of-” Luua stops and looks over with Amuu the second they hear the oar scrape violently against the boat’s rim. Ruka’s typical submissiveness has melted away to the mean, dark, brooding outcast- the only reason the elder picked him for the trip rather than a taller, more handsome lad. “You both should shut up. This trip’s gonna be a hell of a lot harder if you’re both crying about this the whole time.”

Amuu coughs and nods. Luua smiles crassly. “What’s the matter, Amuu. Aren’t you gonna smack him like you would in front of the other boys? Can you hit him now that your friends aren’t around to protect you?”

Ruka grins as Amuu scratches his chin. “We… don’t need to make any problems. The mission’s too impor-”

Scared. Knew it.” She turns around to look to the waves, leaving a scowling Amuu, and a bemused Ruka, proudly flexing his compact musculature under his shabby, layered cloak.

“S-sure, just turn around,” Amuu says, turning away as well and leaving Ruka to his beloved silence. He rowed on through the shallows, to the depths of the water while eating his lunch. Neither Luua nor Amuu were in much of a mood for another fight, and Ruka did not enjoy talking in general, so the trip became silent. The three sailed on the whole day and set up camp on a small island with colorful yellow and orange-leafed trees. Luua’s rope was transferred to Amuu’s waist to keep her nearby; it is dehumanizing, but at the end of the night, looking up to the stars, she decides that there’s no changing her fate— the only thing she can change is how she looks at her approaching demise. She decides that in the morning, she’ll do her best to be the tribute the village would expect her to be, silent and joyous for what she’s doing for all of them.



Luua is shoved awake by Amuu. “Hey, we have a visitor. Time to go.” She opens dreary eyes and looks up. Both Amuu and Ruka are eyeing across a shoal to a neighboring island. A pitch black figure is facing them in the steadily waking sun.

“Who is it?”

Ruka hums. “No idea, I’ve never seen a clan dress like that before; he might… do you think he’s a clanless?”

The three exchange worried looks.

“Clanless, like the ones from the stories?” Luua asks, now to her feet with Amuu, who’s already transferring her rope to the boat.

“I’d hate to find out. Let’s go!” He says, tugging Luua into the vessel.

“Agreed,” Ruka says, taking up the oar and pushing off shore. With a feral movement, the clanless man takes up his large shoal board and throws himself into the waves.

“He’s following us,” Amuu says, reaching for his bow.

“Shoot that creep, that’ll turn him around,” Ruka says.

Amuu fires off a shot and directly hits the clanless man— but the man continues across, paddling to them with a crude oar.

“Did you miss?” Ruka asks.

“Of course not! He must have a shield or something!”

“Well then keep shooting?

Amuu doesn’t stop to think on it. He fires arrow after arrow at the clanless man, hitting him almost every time, but not slowing him in the slightest.

“Shit- he’s a beast!” Amuu says, peering across to the far-off figure.

“Did you hurt him at all?” Ruka asks.

“I don’t think so.”

“Well shoot more!”

“I don’t have any more arrows.”

Ruka sighs. “In that case, help me paddle. We’ll tire him out!” Amuu joins Ruka by paddling with his hands.

“What do you think he wants?” Luua asks, watching the dark figure across the waves with some strange fascination.

“Probably wants to take our stuff,” Ruka says.

“No, he’ll definitely eat us and bind with you,” Amuu says to Luua as he paddles as quickly as he can.

“Really, you can’t believe all the stories. Clanless aren’t some monsters— they’re still people; he probably got separated or lost or something,” Ruka says.

“No way, I hit that thing twelve times— each time it just flinched.”

The two wayfarers paddle the boat along, and gradually the vision of the clanless man disappears into the mist. They paddle on madly for half an hour until an island comes into view. Luua gives a sigh of relief. “Well, nothing to worry about after all, I guess.”

Amuu looks to Ruka. “I’m tired… but we shouldn’t camp for the night. Let’s keep going.”

Ruka sighs. “Easy, coming from the guy that doesn’t row.”

“Come on, man, it’s creepy. It might find us when we’re sleepi-”

He might find us when we’re sleeping- and that’s okay- if you really wanna sleep tonight, I’ll keep watch, and you’ll row tomorrow. Either that or you get to rowing now. Sound good?” Ruka asks this with a certain wryness about him.

Amuu sighs and contemplates it, causing Luua and Ruka to exchange amused looks.

“Too much for you, head hunter?” Luua asks, calling Amuu by his popular title in the village.

“N-no! I’ll row tomorrow!” Amuu says, scowling obviously and to the pleasure of his two companions.

Ruka grins. “Nice. Let’s go on until it gets dark so we’re sure we’ve lost him. He probably knows that we can’t go in another direction or we’ll risk getting lost. So we row till it’s dark, and I’ll keep watch, got it?”

Amuu nods. “Alright, it’s a deal.”

They row and paddle on through the misty waters for many hours, passing by way-points and island markers made of rocks and sticks— structures for the sole purpose of leading one toward The Great Face. Luua feels more and more on edge as the hours pass; she's certain she can see their shrouded hunter, entering and exiting the very edge of her vision. It is a fear— but it's a strange fear. She knows well she’s already bound to her death, and yet this figure could offer a different one—perhaps a better one, or a worse one; she wonders what the figure is like, and what led it to hunt her and her two wayfarers. Hours pass of musing in the mist, and the dreary great light above them bends over the horizon and shrouds their world in darkness. They stop at the nearest island they can find and by the time it’s pitch black out, they’ve landed and Luua is settled into her bed.

Amuu is left restless and staring up at the stars. “What if he catches up with us?” he asks.

Ruka sighs as he climbs into a nearby tree, his arms granting him just enough strength to pull himself up. “I’ll kill him. It’s really that simple.”

“But what if he kills us? No one will know.”

“Fishmen from our village get lost every year. Storms send them so far away that they couldn’t find their way back. People would just imagine we screwed up or something, I bet.” He relaxes into the leaves, folding a fishing spear in between his legs. “That’d be bad though- would be on our family’s heads instead of ours.”

“Yeah…” Amuu turns to Luua. “Don’t worry… we’ll get you there.” His long, matured features curve into a smile as his bird tattoo waves on his cheek.

Luua sighs. “Yes, thank you. I'm so relived that I won’t be eaten alive by some clanless freak— instead I’ll just get eaten by The Great Face.”

Amuu scoffs. “Well your death will mean a lot for everyone- you’re a hero, you know.”

She crosses her arms and looks away. “Sure.”

“No, I mean it. All the villagers will-”

“Night, Moo,” she says, turning away into her side. Ruka snickers from above.

Amuu clenches his teeth. “Goodnight… Luuny!

Neither Luua nor Ruka laugh at that one, as the funniest thing about Amuu’s utterance was his attempt to somehow repay the damage caused by being called 'Moo', which they both find completely impossible.

There are a couple of snickers back and forth from Luua below and Ruka above, much to the chagrin of Amuu; this lasts nearly five minutes before they truly settle down. Luua and Amuu enter deep dreams, and Ruka sprawls himself out into the branches, awaiting the arrival of the dark, clanless stalker. Though Amuu and Luua are in comfort, they both have that impending sense of being hunted— that something’s nearby and that it will find them.



Luua wakes with a start to a viciously loud, deep crack.

“-nuvabitch!” She hears from a voice sounding like Ruka’s. Her eyes open, and in the morning light, spy a great masked figure, staring down upon her as it holds an enormous branch over her body. In a flash, the clanless swings to the approaching Ruka, smacking him into the sand and heaving for another strike to Amuu, who was quick to get to his feet. Amuu and Ruka stand rigid and ready a few meters away as Luua, frozen in shock, just watches from her sleeping spot.

“Get out of here you damn creep!” Amuu yells, glinting out his hunting knife with trained speed. The clanless does not answer, and instead stands at a loose corpse-like slouch. “Did you hear me?!” Amuu says, glancing over to Ruka, who has recovered his spear and has it ready to throw. Again, the clanless is silent, and neither of Luua’s wayfarers want to make the first move. With that aroused terror in her, she looks over the clanless man.

A cloak of dark feathers, sticks, bark and cord spun together around a mystery of a physique- only its left hand is visible: muscular, scarred, aged both by years and by nature’s daily sting. Its strange mask is hewn from the saddened grey wood of a long-dead tree. Whatever the clanless is, it is formed like clay from the deepest heart of nature; an artist that only humors life in its cold, salted hands.

“This is your only warning! You’ll be a feast for the fish!” Amuu says, spitting at the shrouded ghost of a man.

The clanless reveals its right hand from its cloak, an arrow-filled armor of bark covers the entire arm.

Ruka scoffs. “Well, you definitely hit him. Problem is all that wood he’s got tied on.”

“Clanless scum,” Amuu says, readying for movement, “get out of here, this girl’s a tribute for The Great Face.”

“Then I’ll be taking her. You two can go back to your village and tell them you finished your quest,” the clanless says, his voice shockingly light in comparison to his appearance- Luua halfway expected it would hiss to communicate.

“Bullshit!” Ruka throws his spear, aimed at one of the small, dark holes in the clanless man’s mask.

With a curt sway, the clanless dodges the spear as if were thrown by a playing child. “W-well hey now! We don’t need to throw pointy things in each other’s faces!” It says, waving its hands up for peace, “I don’t see why you guys can’t just, you know, turn around an-”

“We won’t let the village down!” Amuu interrupts, dashing forward with his knife ready to pierce. The young, athletic Amuu takes a decisive slash at the clanless man’s neck. In response the clanless ducks and slides between and through Amuu’s legs. Amuu, thought to be the most dexterous boy from the village, is stunned that he was evaded so effortlessly. He turns immediately to face the clanless, but before he’s able, a bark-armored leg shoots up between Amuu’s thighs and hits him directly in the family-making equipment. Amuu is stunned again, this time due to a very different reason, and he drops the knife just before he drops to the ground, curled up right next to Luua.

The clanless crosses its arms. “Well… Okay. So let me get this straight. You boys actually believe that throwing some poor person to the jaws of The Face every fifty years’ll make things better for everyone else?”

Ruka nods. “Of course. That’s how we get the blessing for the harvest and the hunt.”

The clanless shrugs with a sigh. “Well, how do you know that’s true?”

“Th-the elder told us!” A cringing Amuu says as he steadily forces himself back to his feet.

“Oh? But if you keep sacrificing people like this, how can you know that it’s a blessing at all? Maybe it’s more of a curse that you make yourselves kill one of your own each fifty years.”

Luua takes a breath. “The… The elder knows best. He’s older than everyone, he’s the wise-”

“No, absolutely ridiculous! Even the elder doesn’t know- but even if he did- you’d still be coming with me!” The clanless replies, reaching down and picking up Luua as if she weighed nothing.

“Wh-What?! Put me down!” Luua shouts as the clanless starts a swift walk down the beach, ignoring her kicks and screams.

Ruka runs forward, Amuu close behind. “Don’t act like we’re not here, fool!” Ruka yells, tearing off his cloak and revealing his trained and powerful set of muscles. They catch up to the clanless who, with his free arm, reaches into his cloak of feathers and pulls out a small wrapped ball. The two get in striking distance just as the clanless splits the ball with his hand— causing a small but incredibly irritating puff of debris that gets into the eyes and nostrils of the two wayfarers. Amuu slashes blindly at the air as Ruka continues to run in the direction he last saw the clanless at. The clanless simply steps aside and watches Ruka continue running until he trips and hits the sand.

“Huh, someone’s here? I don’t see anyone.” the clanless says with a goofy tone as he turns away with Luua over his shoulder.

“Guys! I’m over here!” She calls.

Amuu perks up in alert, his only orientation provided by Luua’s voice. He starts back toward the clanless, causing Luua’s kidnapper to shake his head.

“Do you want them to get hurt? You know, I have stuff under this cloak for more than just distractions.”

Luua flinches in a muffled gasp. “N-no.”

“Well good, then stay quiet,” it says as they round the corner through a grove of trees.

Amuu reaches the spot where he heard her, and he calls out, “Luua! Luua, where are you!?”

Luua’s quiet, watching her two blinded wayfarers wave about in confusion- the leaves wrap around her vision, and seconds later her view of them is gone. The clanless makes a few faking movements to shake the two from its path, and then takes her to its small board. He rows them across the water for about thirty minutes until they reach a small, forested island.

“Where’s this?” Luua asks.

The clanless chuckles. “My home.”



The clanless shores the board and hides it behind a tree. He gently waves along the leaves. “This way,” he says. Luua follows quietly, already formulating her plan for escape.

“You know, you shouldn’t have taken me,” she says, “this could kill the whole village.”

The clanless scoffs. “As if Door did anything for me.”

She squints an eye. “It’s Toor… and how do you know that?”

He leads her into a shaded glade— a large network of driftwood huts stand in the clearing with a multitude of strange devices crafted from found objects and nature. “How do I know they didn’t do anything for me?”

“No, how could you know that name? Toor is days away.”

“I’ve been around. Only one village gives their kids fish tattoos.”

Luua subconsciously strokes the top fin of the blue shark on her cheek. “Oh… well you care about the villagers then, don’t you?” She asks as he leads her into one of the tents.

“Not terribly… Now here!” He presents the tent’s inside. A comfortable bed of grass, leaves and a multitude of animal skin blankets lay before her- the skins have been painstakingly dyed blue.

Luua widens her eyes to see in the shaded tent, and they widen further seeing the color of the blankets. “Nice place— this your tent?”

The masked clanless nudges her. “All the tents here were made by me. But now I don’t have to be alone ever again. This here is your tent!” He exclaims with a light tone that she can only interpret as foolish.

Her features furrow and narrow in disgust. “O-oh… Amuu was right.”

The clanless nods his head to the side in wonder. “Right about what?”

“You want me to live here with you, don’t you?” She asks this with an awkward, sour expression on her face.

“Well of course I do!” it says animatedly.

“Have you been… watching me?”

The clanless chuckles sheepishly. “What gives you that idea?”

“My favorite color is blue.”

The clanless shrugs. “Well, could be.”

“And I bet you want to start your own clan… with me.”

The clanless pauses in confusion and then releases a long laugh. “Well… damn! Gotta’ say I wasn’t expecting that to come up. I think you’re a little young for that, and I’m a little old for you, don’t you think?”

Luua draws back. “Uh, yeah, definitely. You’re like what… three hundred?”

The clanless draws back as well. “Ouch! Look here, missy- I just need some company, but not that kind. I have that stuff all sorted out. Now, if you really want to I can go back and grab one of those boys we left behind and you can start a clan with him. I’m sure he’ll say yes- you’re the prettiest girl I’ve seen, after all,” the clanless says, patting her on the head and instilling her with fury.

“I’m the only girl you’ve ever seen, creep! I don’t want to live here with some weird dude… tree… thing! I need to…” she takes a deep breath. “I need to be a tribute to The Great Face!”

The clanless seems set aback by her words and after a pause, he scoffs. “Yeah, alright kid, so you want to get eaten?”

She takes a deep breath – she can hardly believe she’s saying this. “Yes! I do!

The clanless sighs. “Wow, why?”

“Because if not… as much as I hate it, and as much as I’m terrified, I have to! If I don’t the hunt will leave Toor, and the children will die early, and the fish will disappear! I’ve got to! It’s…” She takes an angry breath. “It’s all I have now. I should just leave. At least my mom and dad are waiting for me... why wouldn’t I want to… to die?” She says this so weakly, the clanless would swears she’s about to burst into tears, but she holds herself together.

The clanless nods, suddenly brought down by something she said. “You must really miss your parents, huh?”

“I never got to know my mom, but my dad… yeah, and this is the only way I’ll see either of them.”

He sighs, and motions her out of the tent. “There’s some things I’d like to show you.” Reluctantly, she follows the man whose hair looks like feathers sprouting from the sides of his mask. Out from the small camp and through the woods, she follows for only a minute’s time. They reach a clearing, filled with strange springing plants; there’s many different kinds and colors, some are like grass, and others are like trees.

She draws back in disgust. “You’ve been eating poisonous things to survive?”

The clanless scoffs. “No, you wacky girl. This is food— I grew it.”

The two walk through the grains and fruits over to a peach tree. “But, people die when they eat colorful things off trees.”

“Depends on the tree, actually. In Toor, most of the trees will take more than they give if you eat from them— but these ones are good.” The clanless picks out a fruit from the tree and brushes it lightly before handing it to her.

She scowls. “This is some kind of crazy joke, right? There can’t be such thing as something that grows from the evil earth that you can eat.”

“And yet the deer you hunt eat grass from the earth, don’t they?” he moves the fruit to her. “Smell it, feel it.”

Luua squints suspiciously at the clanless and then looks down to the fruit in her hands. It feels strange, as if it were a small, soft animal, and yet it is obviously not alive. She glances over to the clanless once more, who only gestures for her to go ahead and smell it. With another look of suspicion, she brings the peach to her face and sniffs it.


He nods his head. “It’s?”

“It smells good, but that’s a trick.”

He scoffs. “Don’t trust me?”

“Of course not!”

He picks his own and raises his mask just high enough to show a thin, surprisingly-trim black beard. She sees him, definitely a man for certain rather than a beast, bite into his peach— a gush of juice flowing from the bite. It smells wonderful from where she’s standing. He chews a moment and then swallows.

“See? Mmmm!” He pulls his mask back down.

Luua looks back to her peach, sighs, and bites into it. She flinches as the juices run over and drip down her chin. “Wh-what is this?!”

“I call the fruit brojangalos— catchy, right? I call the taste fruitish.”

She licks her lips and quickly devours the rest; she’s never tasted anything like it, certainly, because her village does not even have a word to describe things that are sweet— as they have nothing sweet on the island. “Brojangalos?” she repeats, “Good name, though I bet someone’s already discovered them… How did you find out about these?”

The masked man reaches into his flowing hood and scratches the side of his neck. “Well, one day I wasn’t feeling so hot. So I decided I’d just eat me a whole bunch of fruit until I felt better,” he says, looking over to another clearing.

Her gaze intensifies. “Yeah?”

“Y-yeah! And so I went around eating fruit until I found brojangalos, morbolollies, and gobmobagobs,” he says, gesturing to some of the other trees with other peculiar fruits.

Luua looks away in thought a moment. “Why were you having a bad day? If people eat that much fruit, they’d usually die— you must’ve been really worried about something.”

The clanless looks up to the clouds. “I just… had a lot on my mind is all. But that’s beside it. I brought you here to show you that you don’t need The Great Face’s blessing. You can grow these with some fertile earth and some time.” He takes up her hands. “Let me show you how this is done, and you’ll be the one tribute in the history of Toor that gave something back to the people!”

Luua’s face, almost sweetened, again becomes bitter. “Are you saying that all the other tributes have done nothing for them?”

The clanless spots the indignant spark in her eyes. “… I’m not going to lie to you. All they did was feed an old lizard.”

Luua takes a sharp breath. “And I’ll be the next! Give the people your fruitish poison if you like, I’ll do what’s right, and save my people!”

The clanless pauses and his stature suddenly deflates. “I… I see. So your mind’s made up?”

“Yes!” She tosses the peach aside.

“You… you don’t want to stay with me?”

“Of course not! As if I’d care about some old fart and his magical island! You’re washed up! If you knew what was good and right, you’d take me back to my wayfarers right now and have me…” she pulls in a labored breath as her eyes water, “… and have me sacrificed!

The clanless stares at her dully through his mask. Slowly, he bring himself to shake his head. “Please, you don’t know what you’re missing! Look!” From his great cloak he pulls a brown carving with holes in it and he blows into it.

Luua flinches as a loud sound comes from the carving— and the birds, hidden just a moment earlier, reveal themselves and descend with all their feathers of many colors. A rainbow of avians surround the two and perch about on the peach, apple, and apricot trees.

“Control… of the birds?” She asks outwardly in disbelief.

The clanless reaches into his cloak. The sunlight shines through the hundreds of feathers in the clearing, filling all of Luua’s vision with light and beauty as far as she can perceive. From the clanless’ seemingly bottomless cloak, he takes out a carefully-woven bag of plant fibers and spills from it a river of glowing, golden grain. He scatters the grain outward, and the many birds gracefully float down from their trees in perfect trust. They perch onto the earth itself and peck up the grain as he continually scatters more around Luua.

“Here, take this!” He pours some of the edible, gleaming treasure into her hands.

“I-I don’t thi-”

“Now just stay still,” he says, interrupting her as he molds her hands into an open container with her arms outstretched.

A moment passes and a small bird perches upon her; it is green and yellow, with the tiniest, blackest eyes Luua’s seen in her whole life. It does not even flicker in caution, but instead sends its obsidian-colored beak into the pool of grain. Suddenly a tall, elegant, black and white bird perches on the other arm—and then a noisy, plump, blue and red bird.

All around her Luua could hear the celebration of the hundred birds, feel the small, twig-like talons of many sauntering across her outstretched limbs to achieve more of the grain gathered by their beloved caretaker.

“They believe you’re just like me, you know,” the clanless says, “something about your smell, I bet— they can smell a good person.” She’s silent, and he goes on. “Luua, stay with me- live here and rest with me. I’ll keep you fed forever, I promise, and I’ll show you all the wondrous things I’ve learned. I know how to catch a fish without touching it, or spearing it; I know how to make friends with all sorts of beasts, and I’ve made things that you’ll never see in the village. Life would be easier here than in the village— and you and I, we can show them these secrets together! They’ll never have to make another tribute again! You’ll have saved them! So please, Luua, stay here, don’t go and throw yourself away. Stay here.

The birds finish the grain and flutter away, releasing Luua to place her arms to her sides. She takes a deep breath. “No.”

The clanless freezes again. “No?”

“That’s right,” Luua says, “If you care so much about the people, show them the fruit and the birds and all that yourself. As for me, I have a duty- do you know what that is?”

The clanless turns away, his piercing gaze now tossed to the dirt. “I’d like to think I do.”

“Well I have one. I can’t not be tribute to The Great Face. If I lived on, and missed the time for the tribute… I don’t know what would happen to the people. They’d… they could die.”

“No, Luua! Y-”

“And how do you know my name, anyway? You knew my favorite color too. You know where Toor is, don’t you? You’ve been,” she draws back. “You really have been watching me!”

The clanless holds up his hands as if to stop her. “P-please, it’s not li-”

“You’re so weird. This is downright crazy. You think you can charm me into staying here with your birds and shit, then move on me when it’s convenient for you?” She clenches her fists in fury, ready to send them at this man at the slightest notice.

No! I already told yo-

“And I don’t believe you!”

“But you could guarantee their safety with these fruits!”

She kicks him. “No! They’re just poison! Take me back to my wayfarers!” The birds fluff their feathers in their cozy nests.

“Pl-please, don’t ma-”

“Take me back to my wayfarers!” She stands against him in full opposition.

He is motionless as he looks down at her narrow, angry features, but he sees in her eyes there is determination- that one human element that topples so many others. He takes a deep breath.

“Okay,” he says, his tone defeated, “I’ll take you to The Great Face.”

She squints an eye. “Why would I want that?”

“Do you seriously think those two knuckleheads could win a real fight?”

Luua grits her teeth. “Yeah, okay, you’re right. But why would you want escort me?”

He chuckles grimly. “Oh, I guess to spend some last moments with the one I love most.”

Her expression is a glued, skeptical scowl. “Weird… Yeah, fine. Not like I have a choice.”

He brightens up. “B-but you do have a choice! You can stay h-”

“I choose my duty. It is what my parents would want.”

“I bet all that your parents would want would be to keep their little girl safe.”

“Then you didn’t know my parents.”

There’s a pause, and then he laughs. “… Yeah, I guess I didn’t. Fine.”

She smirks. “Good. Now, wayfarer, let’s be on our way immediately.” Her posture is almost condescending over the feathered sentinel.

He nods amiably. “Okay- just let me pack up a bit.”

At that, the two ready themselves to take the final leg of the trip ahead of schedule. Luua spots a knife made of a very sharp, black, glinting glass, and takes it. As he takes up his supplies and shoves off his other vessel, a small, mossed fishing boat, he takes a look back to the island, and releases a single, confidant guffaw.

Luua, watching him do this, frowns lightly and shakes her head- unsure just how to categorize this man. He opens up a small, woven piece of cloth that suddenly catches wind and begins to propel them forward through the aqua-marine shoals. She takes a bemused, relaxed position against the stern as the clanless operates a strange wooden mechanism at the back of the ship that, over time, she gathers is capable of steering the vessel somewhat.

“You’re full of surprises, you know,” she says, adjusting her headdress to make herself look more 'sacrificy'.

He nods. “And I have many more to show you, if you’d just st-”


He sighs and the two sail on to the island of The Great Face.



The sun bends along the great blue sky, and the island is in sight. A great, jagged gray outline appears in front of the two.

“Looks like teeth,” Luua says, peering out with a look of focus, rather than fear.

The clanless looks up to the outline. “Really? Looks more like… some mountains to m-” She nudges him with her foot.

“Can you at least try to make me feel like this is worth something?”

He laughs. “Oh! The death! The doom! The Great Face calls you! Breathe deep and cry in dread, for the hour of your undoing is nigh!”

She sighs and her posture droops. “Never mind.”

“Oh, the dark, evil, crimson blackness! The sadness and sorrow! Th- Oh!” The clanless stops his dramatic monologue, spotting something across the waves. “Your wayfarers are some committed boys.”

Luua peers to where the clanless is looking, and spots a wooden speck in her vision. “No way…”

“They must really like you. You know, in Toor, they’d only let you bind with one guy, but if you’d change your mind and live with me, I’d let you have as many boyfriends as you’d like!”

Luua conveniently ignores the clanless’ comment as she looks upon the beached boat- the very same she was in just yesterday. Amuu and Ruka are nowhere to be found. “They’re probably ready for us,” Luua says.

“Well they’re going to be disappointed- I’ll get you there first.”

Luua squints an eye. “That’s a change, just why are you helping me?”

The clanless shrugs. “I’ve never seen The Great Face. As sad as I am that you’re going to throw yourself away, the only thing I can do now is help you do as you please and watch.”

Luua draws back to a straight, official-looking position. “You’re crazy… but thanks- I hope you have a good life.”

Hidden under his guise and mask, he smiles. “The rest of my life will be a blast no matter what, I assure you…. Want a brojangalo?” he asks, presenting her with another of the fruits.

She takes it eagerly, “Thank you. Poison would be a fitting last meal for a tribute,” she says with a grim, weak smile before taking a bite.

“Uh, sure. So I’m guessing The Face is somewhere in the middle of those mountains— cuz you know, such a great face.” He waves his hand about uncertainly.

Luua looks over to him as she takes a bite of her peach, “What makes you think that?”

“You know… just sorta looks like a spot for an important god to hang out.”

“Yeah? Well if I was a god maybe I’d like to see the ocean.”

“I don’t know- if you have those tall mountains you’d have shelter to make all sorts of crazy plans- besides, I’d get sick of that sea breeze eventually.” The clanless interjects as they near their destination.

“I’m sure The Great Face doesn’t care all that much.”

The boat shores only meters away from the wayfarer’s boat.

“Alright, well I’m cool with anything. You lead.” The clanless gestures for her to go ahead.

“Good. I’m sure the trip will take us a bit to get to the center.”

He chuckles. “So you suddenly think The Face’s in the mountains?”

She shrugs awkwardly. “W-well no, I didn’t actually say I thought it would be around the coast. I just thought I would do that if I were a god.”

“Whatever, you cheated,” he says.

She waves dismissively. “Okay, stop, I’m about to die, so please.” The two start into the woods,

“You don’t seem to care quite as much, do you?” He follows along, eying about the woods.

“Of course I do… I’m just… nervous, I guess.”

“I’d be nervous too- but you’ll be a great sacrifice.”

Luua nods. “Thanks, I guess.”

He nods back. “Weird, I’d imagine they would have come for us by now.”

She hops over a log. “I’d imagine they want to be sure where The Face is- and that’s where they’ll go for you.”

Spooky,” the clanless says mockingly.

“Yeah, real spooky,” she says as they ascend the incline. A minute later, she looks back to him. “So, you’ve been around, have you really never met The Great Face?”

He chuckles. “Maybe.

She sighs. “Okay, I should have guessed. Nevermi-”

She is not so bad once you get to know her. Has some interesting views on the value of people— a bit artsy. She taught me a lot of that stuff about making friends with birds and growing grass to eat and making more friends— pretty cool overall. Big shame with the tribute required and all that. You know, you could just be friends. I’m sure she’d," he pauses to make quotes with his fingers, “forgive not being given a tribute. I’m pretty sure people have just been coming here over and over with no idea what the decree was supposed to mean.”

Luua gives an exaggerated nod. “Yeah, I’m sure we’re all wrong, and you’re totally right.”

“We’ll find out for sure soon enough. I’ll let you know in the spirit— I’ll bring you some brojangalos in your dreams,” he says, flawlessly climbing an outcropping of rocks and offering his hand to pull her up.

She rises quickly. “Uh, thanks.”

They continue on through groves and glades, the angle abruptly rising some places and dropping others. For a bit of the way the clanless offered Luua his back to be carried, but the further they went along, the less she used his offered help. She would kill herself at the jaws of the beast without the aid of others and be a rightfully noble tribute.

She wonders, on the last few minutes before reaching the center of the island, just how it will feel— to be crushed between those long, jagged teeth she’s heard of in all the stories, the great heat one feels when one's own blood spills across one’s skin, and how the ears ring with the sound of the body being divided in an instant. She takes a breath, clears her throat. “Hey.”

Yes?” he says, fiddling with some twigs and grass to make something.

“Do you know what dying feels like?”

“Scared, are we?”


He scoffs lightly. “That’s fair. I almost died a few times. Everything gets blurry, and dark.”

“Don’t you see a light?”

“If someone’s shining a light in your face, sure. Otherwise, it’s dark— then you sort of fade and everything suddenly hurts less, though you know it’s still supposed to hurt.”

She stops in her tracks a moment, her brows raised and her gaze to her feet. “How much will it hurt?”

“Well, considering you’ll be eaten in like, one bite, it shouldn’t be too bad. I’d say maybe… ten seconds at the worst. Well unless The Face swallows you whole that is— then you’ll have a much more exciting death.”

She curtly starts back through the trees. “Yeah, thanks.

“I wouldn’t worry about that, though. I think she’s pretty merciful. A matter of fact I bet you’ll be split right down the middle. Do you want me to let the boys watch?”

Luua sighs. “I don’t care. I’ll be dead.”

“B-but you might die in some super-awkward position, or you might make some weird sound, like ughwbelllllh! Or wagouuuguuhhhh!” He contorts himself dramatically as he makes her simulated death noises.

“Thank you for the detail,” she says, glancing back long enough to see the clanless waving his hands about in dramatic agony and confusion.

“My pleasure.”

“… I can’t say I really care about that either- it’ll all be over.”

The clanless nods his head about in thought as he puts the finishing touches on his little craft. “Yeah? Did you not enjoy life?”

Luua’s gaze is pointed squarely to the ground. “I’m not sure. I just really wish I could have met my mom— she died giving birth to me; and I wish my dad wouldn’t have drowned or whatever.”

“You don’t know what happened to him?” He asks this as he twists a twig daintily.

“No- they said it was a fishing accident. I asked about it when I was older and they said his whole ship got lost at sea. Everyone died, including him.”

The clanless sighs. “Well I’m terribly sorry to hear that. Maybe your dad’s still alive, somewhere.”

“Why would he do that? Wouldn’t he know how to get back?”

He shrugs. “Maybe he got lost. How would I know?”

She shrugs back. “You wouldn’t, never mind. If he was alive, and did find his way back, I’d smack his shit up.”

The clanless man hums. “Really?”


“So I guess you blame him for something?”

“If he could’ve come back, he should’ve. He could go in my place.”

“Yeah, what a shame.”

“And I guess… I guess I just wanted to know him. I don’t have much to remember him by, but I hear he was a good man from everyone— and to believe that he’d still be alive would be… I don’t think I could handle that.”

The clanless nods. “It would probably create more problems than it’d solve, don’t you think?”

“I guess, except that I still have to die and all. But I think I’m…” She takes a breath. “I think I’m ready, actually. I actually think I’m ready to do this. It’s not so bad. It’ll be quick, and I’ll see my parents again. Life has been short, but I’m happy. I think the elder was right by keeping it from me. The kids would’ve treated me differently… Yeah,” she tightens her fists in determination. “I’ll honor my ancestors and be the next tribute in the line. I’m honored to save them all.”

The clanless shakes his head. “Well I’m glad you believe in something… but I would have wished you’d have gotten interested in something other than killing yourself. There’s way better hobbies, you know.”

For the first time, the clanless sees her turn and smile. “Please, clanle… Huh.”

“What is it?” The sun dances between the leaves gracefully upon her headdress.

“You came all this way for me, and you didn’t even give me your name, weirdo.”

He leans back as their path gradually clears of foliage. “Yeah, you know, me giving you my name is sorta not mysterious at all.”

“Yeah,” her features spread in disappointment, “I should have guessed.”

“Oh, but hey! I made something for you!” He says, presenting the tiny thing to her.

She takes it up, and looks it over only a moment— some kind of arrow or something. “Uh, nice, thanks!” She says as she tucks it into her headdress awkwardly.

The clanless man nods and Luua turns back to the path in time to find a great clearing—Amuu waiting with his bow and a huge set of newly-crafted arrows. She approaches him without so much as flinching, with the clanless close behind.



The opening leads to a sheer, mossy cliff, dropping off into a luminescent pool that hums in the shaded clearing. There’s something stirring below.

“I’m… wow, I’m surprised you’re here… this is great,” Amuu says, raising his foot from the edge of the cliff.

“L-Luua!” A voice cries from the side of the drop.

Luua shifts her eyes about the cliff. “Ruka? Is that you?”

“This bastard tried to sacrifice me!” Ruka yells from the other side of the cliff.

Amuu scoffs. “Sorry about that.” he reaches down, grabs a hold of Ruka, and after a moment of difficulty, pulls him back to his feet. “I just thought, well, since we lost you we might as well do the next best thing.”

“You…” Ruka pants for breath, “You bastard! You told me… we were going to wait for them!”

“Don’t be a dumbass, man. How could we have expected that the clanless would actually bring her here?”

Ruka lays himself down as he recovers. “And so you just lied to me and kicked me off to tribute me… You’re a real ass, Amuu.”

“I did what I had to. Someone from our village has to die- but it looks like the clanless is on our side.” Amuu turns back to the clanless and Luua. “So what’s the matter, man? Didn’t get it through that thick head of yours that she was the tribute until after you kidnapped her? Thought you’d turn around and beg for forgiveness?”

The clanless shakes his head wildly, his dark feathers bristling along his cloak. “No. Honestly I think this is all a waste of time, so I thought I’d come and put an end to it.”

Ruka gets to his feet, grasps his spear, and chuckles alongside Amuu, who readies his bow.

“You got peppy quick,” Luua says.

“You think we’re going to let you taint the tribute?” Ruka asks. “Though Amuu just tried to kill me, you’re here now— that really does change it. So just how are you going to ‘put an end to it’?” Ruka lightly brushes the sailfish tattoo across his cheek and enters a fighting stance.

The clanless, usually of a slouched, feral composure, straightens to his full height. “I’ll ruin the tribute- I’ll take the girl’s place!”

The three youths freeze in shock. Of all the things to come out of this maniac’s mouth, this is easily the worst. Amuu bristles. “Y-you… no! You’re not from our clan, idiot!” The two wayfarers block the way to the cliff.

Luua takes a sharp breath. “No! Dumbass! You don't need to protect me!” She reaches to grasp his cloak, but he shakes his head.

“That’s where you’re wrong.” He reaches up for the mask, and pulls it up just enough to reveal a very, very faded shark tattoo— but it just couldn’t be. “I’m Cuuo of Toor, the father of Luua of Toor! I’ll take her place, and none of you can stop me!”

The three peer at what is apparently a tattoo, but is so faded, it could practically be a birthmark. “Lies!” Amuu shouts.

The clanless turns around. “How else would I have known all that about you, Luua?”

She hisses as she draws away from him. “You’re… no, you just painted it on. You’re not my father, liar!”

“It’s real, Luua! Trust me! And if you can’t trust that, watch me die for you and prove that I’m your fa-”

An arrow flies into his chest. Cuuo regains himself as Amuu draws a heroic breath. “If you’re her father, then you know the punishment for attempting to taint the sacrifice!”

Cuuo laughs. “Ohhhh~ death? Scary. Bring it on, hotshot.”

Amuu draws another arrow as Cuuo starts forward with careful, readied steps.

“You boys really are too into this whole ‘sacrifice’ thing. If I weren’t about to die, I’d talk to your parents. Amuu, that you, kid? You always were a brat.”

“Shut up, clanless! You’ve been spying on the village to trick us into letting you sacrifice yourself! This has been your plan all along!” Amuu shouts, loosing another arrow into Cuuo.

Again he barely flinches as the arrow enters him. “Not really, but if me dying is the only thing that’ll get it through you dumb kid’s heads, then sure. Luua’s not your disposable nobody, she has a right to make her own decisions and that’s-” Cuuo stops his monologue upon feeling real pain.

His side suddenly feels incredibly warm. He looks to his side and sees one of his peeling knifes in his side, shoved in by Luua. “You idiot,” she says, breathing heavily as Ruka rushes forward with his spear ready. “Dying is my decision!... but not before I get rid of you, clanless deceiver!”

Ruka thrusts at the clanless with his spear, and the clanless grasps it with a scarce dodge as he leaps back.

Amuu aims another shot as the clanless and Ruka enter a struggle over the spear that, even with his injuries, the clanless is winning. Luua watches as in awe as the clanless shakes off Ruka and tosses the spear over Amuu into the great deep. Amuu flies another arrow into the clanless as Ruka draws his knife and leaps in for round two. The clanless lifts his cloak in a rare movement, revealing his bloodied body, and tosses another pile of powder at Ruka, stunning him long enough to grab hold of the boy and put his arm into a lock. As yet another arrow marks into Cuuo’s flesh, he shoves Ruka’s face into a nearby tree, knocking him out.

Looming over Ruka, Cuuo pulls out the knife in his side and Amuu rushes forward into action.

“Don’t you dare, you scum!” Amuu draws his own knife and vaults for the clanless, who turns with a readied grip on the knife. He tosses it and with a spin meets the blade right into Amuu’s heel, sending the young man falling right into the clanless’ lifting knee. Luua watches as Amuu, too falls aside in defeat, though perfectly alive.

“Alright,” the clanless turns for the cliff, the Great Face waiting just below. “Time to end this.” He starts for the cliff just as another arrow flies into him, this time shot by Luua— she took the moment to grab Amuu’s bow. The clanless falls over. “W-wait, Luua. It’s me… papa! Let me do what I’ve come here for! Don’t throw your life away for nothing.”

She loads another arrow to her string. “You’re… you’re not my father. He would have come home!”

The clanless pulls himself up weakly to a knee. “No… your father got lost, a long, long time, and by the time he found the town again, by the time he found you again, you were already on your way to becoming a young lady… your daddy couldn’t stop them from making one of us the tribute, so he decided to wait. He waited for years and years, for this moment. Now all three of you can go home and live on pointless lives, waiting for the next time you have to throw someone away for no reason. Your daddy don’t care if it stops or not, he just doesn’t want his little girl to get hurt. Somehow, I thought my gift would remind you,” He grins. “Guess I put too much faith in sentiment.”

Luua reaches up to her headdress and pulls down the crude wicker arrow— except it’s not an arrow, she realizes, there’s a set of grooves on the tip- a fishing spear. Clear now, very clear now, she recalls the image of a wonderful man giving her an oversized spear to keep safe for him while he tried a new one out on a fishing trip from which he never returned.

She drops the bow. “D-daddy?” But he’s already to his feet, rushing for the cliff. She, however, is not filled with arrows and bleeding to death; she sprints forward to the cliff, passes him, and just barely passes his grip.

Ruka, regaining himself, spits up a cough of blood as he can barely see the outlines. “Luua, don’t let him jump in! He’ll ruin everything!”

She’s at the step, but she feels a strong impact put her to the ground— Cuuo, her father, threw something at her. No matter. She’s up to her feet just as she hears him right behind her; she jumps, leaping off the cliff and over the great darkness within the water at the bottom of the cliff—and then, she’s grasped.

Cuuo has her in his arms as the two fall together; he leapt too. “If only to keep ya’ company,” he says, his bloody mouth smiling as he hugs his daughter for the first time in twelve years.

“LUUA!” Ruka shouts, helpless to stop what’s happening in front of him.

She doesn’t know what to say, or think, or do, but she grasps back and holds her father close. They embrace into the jaws of The Great Face, rising out to accept the offering. The teeth clamp shut, and the sacrifice is made. This time, the first and last time ever, The Great Face lingers- its eel-like head basking in the sunlight for only a moment of consideration.

Ruka rolls onto his knees pathetically. “It was… Luua, why did it have to-”

“I am, finally, sated,” The Great Face speaks. “I shall take no more sacrifices. Truly, if you had delivered these two first, it would have been more than enough.”

Ruka crawls to the cliff. “What?! What do you mean?”

The Great Face sighs, a billow of mist spewing out. “Truly, this is blood bound by love; one gave their life for the other, and yet they died together. Far better than dying due to tradition, or dying due to threats. A matter of fact, this must be the first time your village has sacrificed to me properly. Well done, wayfarer. Now go home and rejoice, for your hunt will return, the fish will emerge from the depths, and your children shall no longer die,” at that, The Great Face lowers itself into the depths of the pool, and soon after, its intimidating shadow disappears as well.

Ruka is dumbfounded. It takes him a few minutes, but he finally gets up, steps over to Amuu, and takes him back. When they return, they tell the story, just as they listen to the news of strange and exciting plants growing from the earth, the fish being caught like never before, and the legendary stags appearing for the first time in ages. There is great happiness in the village, and there shall be for years to come.

Somewhere else, a family reunites as a whole for the very first time; they are even happier.




Shorts Minion: Huh… that one… was pretty...-

Kell Inkston: Good?

Shorts Minion: Pretty… long for something so unbearable and depressing.

*Kell sighs*

Kell Inkston: Look, I think that’s a bit of a stretch to say tha-

Shorts Minion: Like, how did you actually think that wasn’t an easy as fuck twist to spot? I saw that cunt as her dad a mile away.

Kell Inkston: Well that’s not necessarily the main point of the story. I wanted to highly the sacrificial irony between a parent versus the duties that their children may-

Shorts Minion: Gaaaaaaaay.

Kell Inkston: Right, great.

*Shorts Minion turns for the camera*

Shorts Minion: Tune in next week for more pretentious bullshit by our favorite literary failure.

Kell Inkston: Okay. You want to play cards? Fine.

*Interview ends*