DetectiveRed

Not really up for writing too much up here this time around. Tw for t-slur and f-slur. I wanted Katie to be a bit more assertive.I loved the idea of her taking control from a James who was struggling with grappling for control again. Thanks to Shandy for editing Shandy's work can be found here and here are the links to their other places TGstorytime and Big Closet.

James' attempts to start shit on Wednesday morning were quite frankly pathetic. No deadnaming, no misgendering, he just agreed with whatever bullshit Ben was spewing in her general direction. With Ben, it was always the same. He'd throw out that forty-per cent stat, call her a tranny. The only thing she really couldn't stand was being called a trap, and it seemed like he'd retired that particular insult for a bit.

After Nick came over to them, she wasn't exactly optimistic about whether Thursday morning would be any better. Still, it was hard to be intimidated by James after Monday. There was more going on behind the scenes that James wasn't telling her, or Nick. Nick seemed to think things were going back to how bad they used to be, but she wasn't convinced that was happening. There was something more; she just had to figure it out. Hopefully, homeroom would provide some answers.

"Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah," was all she heard Ben say. Whatever he said was probably pointless. She was waiting for James to say something. There had to be a reason he'd gone from seemingly being annoyed by Ben, to becoming his lackey.

"Yeah, when are you gonna give up on being a girl?" James agreed. Detransition bullshit; Ben was getting creative while James certainly wasn't.

Now seemed like the perfect time to do some detective work. Knowing James since they were both little came in handy for this. His impersonal attacks probably meant he was just following Ben. Before this started, his mockery had revolved around her deadname and using it to hurt her, and it did. The things he would say used to hurt; they used to make her cry because it was obvious that her childhood friend meant everything he said. Every insult was targeted not just at her transness, but at her as a whole. Now it was like he was reading off a script. It was quite sad, like part of him hated what he was saying.

"Now, come on, James, you can do better than that," she said. The first time she'd ever responded to their mockery and it was to encourage him to mock her better. There was this feeling of power that came with taking charge and trying to get more information.

"What?" He was flustered by confrontation. The old James wouldn't stand for this.

"You're gonna have to do more than that to get me to cry. That's your goal, right? Make me sad, so you can laugh at the crying tranny," she mocked.

"No, I--" he stumbled.

"Then what is your goal, James?"

"James, are you seriously taking this from him?" Ben interjected.

"Shut up, Ben. I'm not talking to you," she snapped.

James looked ready to run away. Just like she thought. He couldn't answer. The reason why he was trying this shit had to be something he couldn't say in public or a reason he didn't know. Before all this, his answer would probably be what she had said about laughing about it. Now he couldn't even speak.

"Good morning, everyone," Miss Campbell announced. The wait for her to be back usually taking ages, but she seemed to be early today. Just as well too. The adrenaline that had allowed her to tell Ben to shut up was starting to wear off. She'd talk to Nick and Adam about what had happened at recess. She needed to figure out where to go with this, and for now James and Ben weren't bold enough to try anything while the teacher was around. Maybe it was best to leave him a message.

Katie: What's wrong James?

When recess came around, there was a distinct lack of Nick. After yesterday's issues, she was sure he wouldn't want to go back to the library with them. It was like he had Stockholm Syndrome or something. She could understand having feelings for James; after all, she had crushed on him when they were growing up, but she didn't understand going back to him after yesterday. Why would someone put themselves through that?

"So did Jimbo try anything this morning?" Adam asked.

"You mean James?"

"Yeah, Jim is short for James. Therefore he is Jimbo. It's a good name for a clown," Adam explained. Why did Katie like this dork? "Seriously, though, why didn't you tell me about yesterday?"

"Because he's really bad at what he's trying to do. He couldn't even bring himself to misgender me." She also hadn't wanted to worry him, but she didn't want to say that out loud. What she was going to tell him next would probably cause worry anyway, though. "He did try again today, and I told him to do better."

"What the hell, Katie?" He sounded shocked. Especially for someone who had encouraged her to not take shit from him.

"I wanted to know what he's doing!"

"That doesn't mean you tell him to mock you better?" Flabbergasted was a good look on Adam, she had to admit.

"I had my reasons and I was able to get some information about what's going on."

"Okay, Velma, tell me what you learned." She knew Adam would see things her way.

"So, first of all, it's not a personal thing against me. I remember James' old act. You remember it too. I would never be able to respond to the things he said then. Now it was easy because he so obviously didn't care. He said --" She tried to drop her voice down to a monotone approximation of James' voice. "When are you gonna give up on being a girl?" She moved her voice back up to how it usually was with a smile. She barely ever got to use that trick; it would induce way too much dysphoria, but after the euphoria she'd been feeling lately about how she looked and hormones working so much faster than they should have been, she was happy to use it.

"I forget you can do that sometimes." Adam laughed.

"Anyway, isn't that a really weird way of wording things? When are you going to give up on being a girl? Before all this happened, he would have said something along the lines of --" She repeated her little trick. "When are you gonna stop pretending to be a girl? All the while smirking like he'd proved something."

"I see where you might be going with this, but I should probably let you finish."

"What a gentleman you are, Adam," she giggled. "James is going through that stuff with his mum right? He's always been like a parrot who repeats everything his mum says."

"So, you think he's externalising his issues?"

"Affirmative!" she chirped.

Adam just smiled. Smiled really cutely. Smiled so cutely Katie's brain short-circuited for a second. She forgot where she was going with the conversation.

"Umm, where was I?"

"James externalising his issues."

"Oh, yeah, I'm not one to speculate on someone's sexuality, but I think the things that were bothering Nick might be the same thing. I think James might like guys." That conclusion was easy to draw from the dreams she'd been told about.

"Kat, you think he got comphetted?" he seemed so shocked.

"No, uh, I don't think it's new. There were times when we were younger that he said things like, 'if you were a girl I think I'd date you'." It was awkward to bring up those memories. Heck, she'd buried them until she needed to use them then. "This was like just before we got to high school."

"Really?"

"Yeah, high school was when his mum got on his ass worse."

"I mean, I'm not sure that's very convincing, Katie. It's hard to see you as anything other than a pretty young lady. I bet that's what he saw."

"Adam!" She was blushing. Badly. How was she meant to deal with this guy? "It wasn't just that, I swear."

"Sure it wasn't." She hated when he smirked. Why did she have a thing for smirking guys?

"It would make sense, though? If he wasn't as straight as he thought, wouldn't it make sense for him to be using homophobic language? In the same way, he's lashing out at me?"

"I guess. Maybe you're giving him too much credit. He was an unbearable asshole before, right? Wouldn't it make more sense for him to just go back to being an unbearable asshole for no real reason? He turned on you for no real reason, in the beginning, didn't he?" She didn't feel up to talking about why that had happened. She felt like she might have figured it out, but she would have to talk to James if she wanted to be sure. Hopefully, she could when James wised up again. 

"I don't think that's the case, Adam..."

They were interrupted by the sight of Nick. Once again, he looked like he was on the brink of tears. Seeing a guy like Nick on the brink of tears was not an easy sight to see. It was kind of like seeing a sad puppy. All she could think about was seeing if he was okay and what had happened.

She hopped up and walked over to him. He was standing still like he was waiting for some invitation. She'd always tried to make it clear he was welcome, but he always did that. It was like he didn't want to interrupt whatever was going on.

"Nick, what happened?" She tried to keep her voice soft. There was a chance she already knew what he was going to say.

"He called me that word. The one from yesterday. I think it was a joke. Or it was meant to be. I don't know what to do." Katie always found it hard to get mad on her own behalf, but when it came to others it was all too easy.

"You're talking about James, right?" She knew the answer, but she had to make sure. This morning hadn't made her angry, only more curious; now she was a bit of both. She desperately wanted to confirm her hypothesis and put him in his place.

"Yeah, it was just over a game, but..."

"I'm going to talk to him."

"Katie, it's almost the end of lunch," Adam said.

"Then I'll wait outside the library. It shouldn't take too long for him to show up, right?"

"Katie, please don't," Nick whispered. That only made her more pissed.

"If you're going down to the library I'm coming with you," Adam said.

"Look, Nick, James needs someone to put him in his place. Or he's not gonna learn." She sounded a lot more confident than she felt. She wasn't even sure if she was right or if she was just jumping into things.

"You can't confront him in front of the others."

"I'm not going to mention anything about his body, I promise. More importantly, I'm not gonna out you, okay?"

Marching down to the library took a lot more energy than she thought it would. She was excited. Anxious. Maybe queasy? Sure, she had stood up to him that morning, but that was an impromptu decision. Now she had a plan. Opposite the library door, there was a small fence overlooking a garden; she would lean on the fence and wait for James to come out and then pull him aside and have a talk with him. If things went well, it'd be great. Maybe they could figure this all out. If not, then she'd burn that bridge when she came to it.

Adam followed her but decided to stay with Nick away from the door. Nick didn't want to appear like he was responsible for this, and Adam wanted to be there in case someone tried to start something. There were only five minutes left until the bell would ring, meaning they'd be out any second.

She could hear Lachlan and Ben bickering, the telltale sign that they would be out any second. Sure, enough Lachlan and Ben came out the door; they barely seemed to register she was there until James stopped following them.

The look on his face told her that he was weighing up the options. It was obvious when he wanted to run; she'd seen that look so many times when they were at the doctor. Usually, she'd feel bad about inflicting that kind of fear on anyone, but if James didn't want to lose the one friend who cared about him, he needed to listen.

"James, we need to talk. It won't take too long." That look on his face became more obvious, but upon seeing the way his friends were staring at them, he tried to remove any hint of emotion.

"Leave me alone, Katie." She could see Ben dying to say something, but James seemed to ignore it.

"Not gonna happen, James." An ultimatum was probably the only way to get through to him when he was trying to be cool. "We can do it here if you'd prefer, or you could come with me."

He seemed to weigh the options up in his head. Ultimately, he settled on a third option. Which was to run. Fortunately for Katie, she was able to grab the hood of his hoodie. Ben and Lachie just watched; it was odd seeing Ben with his mouth shut. If only it would stay like that.

"You leave me no choice," she announced. She'd have to be more careful with her words since Ben and Lachie were there, but she could still chew him out. "Wanna explain why you've been ignoring the only friend that stayed with you while you were sick?"

"Leave me alone, I have one more day. Don't ruin it for me." Finally, James had some bite back in his voice.

"Nick has been dealing with you and your friends' shit since we stopped talking, right? Yet he was the only one that seemed to care when you were sick?" She tried to ignore his protests. If this was going to ruin his final day, so be it. He wasn't gonna be able to fix things if he didn't realise how badly he was messing up now. "Now that you're not sick anymore, you act like you were barely friends, to begin with. I mean you've made me cry in the bathroom, but you've never used me. I didn't think you'd sink that low."

"Katie, please. Let me go," he pleaded. She was tempted to let him leave. His cool facade had fallen, and the scared person from the day he had called her was back.

"You can come with me and we can have a tal--"

"I can't. Just let me leave." He was trying to pass it off as anger, but it wasn't working well. His acting skills needed work.

"Come with me."

"No." Ben and Lachlan were still gawking. Seeing their complete lack of any outward emotion was interesting, but they had to go.

"Ben, Lachlan. Go away."

"Hey, we're not leaving our friend in the hands of a freak," Ben piped up. Freak, that was one that stung more than most.

"He has Nick here, now leave." She was trying to command respect. Something she hadn't done before. It was a powerful feeling. Lachlan pulled on Ben's collar and started dragging him away. It was nice to see one of them had common sense.

"They're gone now. So I am going to speak a little more freely." She hated to admit she enjoyed this. "You are an awful liar and an awful actor. We've known each other for ten years, James! You think I wouldn't notice the difference between you hating me and you trying to keep up appearances?"

"Am I really that bad at this?" He sounded like he wanted to cry. She sat down and patted the concrete ground next to her.

"It's going to be okay," Katie said.

"How, Katie? I have a chick's body, and two days from now I'll be wearing a fucking dress."

"Well, if you stop trying to isolate the people who care about you, that would be a start." She'd come down to rip him a new one, but now she was sitting on the cold concrete trying to comfort him.

"I just want to be like how I was before all of this, but I don't even remember what I was like or why I was like that. I was so angry before all of this. It's like this new body is changing my feelings and messing me up." That was something she hadn't guessed, that he thought his feelings and personality were changing because of his body. Maybe it was time to ask him about why they had become so distant in the first place. Before she did, though...

"Adam, Nick. I'll take care of him, get to class."

"Okay, Katie. Don't take too long," Adam said.

"I'll talk to you later, James," Nick said weakly. The two left without saying anything else. There was a mutual understanding they'd talk at lunch.

"Do you remember why you hated me?" she asked.