Jamie was gorgeous. Nick had thought that the minute they walked into class. His boyfriend was gorgeous and somehow handsome even while dressed in the girliest clothes their mum could get them to wear. His heart was pounding. What was he going to say? It wasn’t like he could be openly flustered? Getting work done was going to be hard with them around. Were relationships meant to be so distracting? He had to sit down. Keep his cool. Jamie was still going through a lot; he needed to act as normal as possible to make them feel safe. 

“Hey, Jamie.” Aside from the voice crack, things were fine. 

“Hey, Nick,” they said. The vocal change was still a shock; they sounded like a girl. Down to the way they said things. Regardless, it was good to see them. Even if they looked depressed. 

“How did everything go?” A natural response. They just came out to their homeroom. Understanding how they feel was the best first step.

“Good. I’m happy to see you, though.”

Blushing, immediate blushing. He needed to get a hold of himself. 

“Wha-- huh -- Why?” Playing it smooth wasn’t an option, apparently.

Smirking. They were smirking. For the first time in a while, that cocky smirk was back. His brain was going to overload. What were they doing? Why were they being so obvious? Coming out as a girl and then immediately showing off that you are in a relationship doesn’t seem like something they would do. 

“Because you aren’t treating me like a freak.” 

“What?” 

“Dude, I just said ‘I grew boobs overnight and now I’m living as a girl.’ People are gonna treat me like a freak. Ben proved that.”

“What did he say?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Jamie--”

“Everyone quiet, I’m doing roll call, then making an announcement,” the teacher called out. It would have to wait. Jamie was having to go through another reintroduction. He’d avoided thinking about the people staring at them, but now those stares were going to be given attention by the teacher. Being there for Jamie was all he could do. “Come up to the front, Jamie.”

With a forced smile on their face, they walked up to the front of the room and delivered their pre-practised speech. It was succinct and didn’t invite questions. Perfect for them. The murmuring and staring would have to die down now. The teacher would enforce quiet to avoid Jamie having to answer any non-work questions and they’d focus on their work and it would be fine. Then Nick would talk to them about things that didn’t matter.

The first part of that went off without a hitch. The class passed quickly and he tried his best to ask some questions here and there. He needed to know how Jamie was feeling. Helping them through this was something a boyfriend should do, but every time he asked, they would deflect, and before he was able to get any answers, the class was over.

As they walked together to Jamie’s locker, Nick could feel the people in the hall staring. Jamie was gorgeous and new. He hoped that was all they were interested in. Rumours didn’t spread that fast and no one would be able to recognise them anymore, right?. No one could have made the connection. Still, he remained on high alert, in case someone tried something.

“Are we going to the tree?” Nick asked. Distracting them from the staring was gonna be important for the next couple of days while they tried to get used to this and while the novelty wore off.

They flinched at the suggestion. A reaction aside from deflection was good. “No, we are going to the library.” They said it like they had no other choice. Like dealing with their shit friend was an unavoidable obstacle.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, the library is just another thing I need to deal with, Nick”

“Are we going to tell them about us?”

Jamie smiled for a brief second. Just the mention of them being together was enough to get a reaction. It made him want something, crave something. He wasn’t sure what it was. “I don’t know.”

“I’m happy for them to know.” He sounded a lot more confident than he was. He knew Ben would mock them, but part of him wanted that. Part of him wanted to own it and then leave the library with Jamie. 

“Then maybe; let’s just get there first.”

The library was quiet, as usual. Ben and Lachie sat at the computers, arguing over something, probably a game. Probably something stupid. It was a mystery why those two were friends.

“Hey, James,” Lachie said casually. It was good to see some people weren’t treating them like a zoo animal.

“I’m surprised you turned up after begging me to shut up in homeroom.” Ben was still Ben. That was unfortunate. 

“Yeah well, what can I say, I’m a glutton for mockery,” James replied. No witty comeback, just accepting it. He missed the James who would stand up for himself. Maybe that was his job now, at least until Jamie got their confidence back.

“Ben, you could try not being an asshole for once?” Nick responded.

“Aw, Jamie, I can’t believe you’re making your boyfriend stand up for you.”

“He’s my friend, Ben.”

“Girlfriend seems more like it.”

“Ben, please just shut your mouth.”

“Why? I’m happy for you. You proved me wrong, turns out you’re not a fag!” It felt like a punch to the gut. He was gay, he’d come to terms with that, and Jamie wasn't a girl. He couldn’t imagine how they were feeling. Keeping him from going after them was all she could do. 

“Maybe I am a fag.” 

“Congratulations, want a medal?” Decking him was tempting, it would be hard for him to talk shit while on the ground. 

“Do you want a medal for being a piece of shit?” Jamie started. 

“What?”

“Do you want a medal for being a piece of shit?” 

“Are you crying?” Ben mocked. Nick looked at his partner. Their face was red and twitching. 

“Does hurting people make you feel good? Are you trying to get a medal?”

“Jamie. Let’s just go.” Something told Nick that if they didn’t leave, something bad was going to happen.

“Don’t you hate yourself for being completely unlikeable? I mean the only people who hung out with you were me, a known piece of shit. Lachie, who you constantly argue with, and Nick, who hates you.” What were they saying? Why were they unloading all of this? Why were they crying?

“Someone is projecting.” Ben’s smile, whenever he struck a nerve with someone, was enough for most people to want to break his nose. 

Before Nick could hold them back, Jamie’s hand had already connected with Ben’s face.  It would have been satisfying if Jamie wasn’t obviously on the brink of a panic attack and Nick wasn’t the one who had to figure out how to get them out of there. 

“No, it’s just unlike you, I can recognise that I’m an awful human being.”

Nick grabbed Jamie's other hand and began trying to get them out. There was no way he was letting them continue on this bullshit. Something was going on and the mystery girl was probably the best person to help. 

“We are going to Katie’s table.” Jamie had decided to follow. Good, Nick didn’t have the strength to pull them along the whole way. 

“What?”

“We are going to Katie’s table,” he repeated. 

“Why?” They sounded shocked. Maybe this wasn’t the best option, but it was the best one he could think of.

“Because you just punched Ben in the face and ranted about how you hate yourself.”

“And how is Katie going to help?”

“She knows more about what’s happening to you than I do, and she’s known you longer.”

“And been treated like shit by me longer. Not to mention Adam. I’m pretty sure he’ll rip my head off.”

“Guy’s a teddy bear, Jamie. Watch, he’ll see that you’ve been crying and ask what happened.”

“I haven’t been crying, I was just angry.”

“Angry crying is a thing.”

The conversation had distracted Jamie long enough that they barely noticed Katie and Adam walking over. It made things a lot easier if they couldn’t protest; Katie wouldn’t give them a chance to run. 

“Jay, are you okay?” She was finally there.

“Damn it, Nick. Did you tell them we were coming?”

“Nope.”

“Are you okay, Jay?” Adam asked. Nick knew the guy well he thought.

Adam was looking at Jamie intently. That couldn’t be helping them feel comfortable. They were a lot more clammed up now, Nick wondered if Katie would be able to get a word out of them.

“I freaked out and punched Ben.”

“Wow, I didn’t think you had it in you. Good job,” Adam laughed. It was a deeper laugh, one that you would expect from a guy with his build. Was that the work of Melody as well?

“Thanks?” Jamie’s confusion was understandable.

“What did he do for you to finally turn on him?” Was Adam enjoying this? 

“He was acting like me.”

“Why did you punch him now? Not like a week ago?”

“He insulted my boyfriend.”

Katie hadn’t been able to get a word in, but maybe she wasn’t trying. She seemed to be holding back a laugh next to Adam. What was she trying to do? 

“Holy shit. James, Jamie, Jay, whatever. Did Melody rewrite your personality or something? Did she make you like boys?”

“Adam, you’re going too far,” Katie finally interjected

“Sorry.”

“So what happened?”

Jamie recounted what had happened in the library, while Nick tried to keep them calm. In the end, he wound up with an arm around their shoulder. The warmth of someone next to you was a feeling Nick rarely felt comfortable with, but Jamie felt safe to be close to. They definitely needed some comfort as well.

“James --” Adam started. 

“It’s Jamie.”

“How about Jay? I’m not gonna call you something you dislike.”

“That’s fine, just don’t remind me of James. I need to give up on that.” Adam scrunched up his face at that. Jamie’s ideas were stupid, but Nick wouldn’t be able to get that through to them.

“Jeez, Jay. What happened to you? I can’t even bring myself to dislike you at the moment.”

“You should be able to, I’m pretty fucking pathetic.” Jamie chuckled. 

“You know beating yourself up, hating yourself and all of that nonsense isn’t going to make things better? Right? I mean, I've wanted to deck you before and I don’t want you to hate yourself.”

“Then what do I do, Adam? It’s not like those two will ever hold me accountable for being a piece of shit. Seriously, Nick agreed to date me, and Katie helped me for no good reason.” Nick felt the urge to remind James that both him and Katie were right there, but resisted. Talking to someone who disliked him might help him get through.

“You just try and be better. I mean, look at me. I was a mean girl. Now I’m actually happy.”

“I tried being better and I still ended up hurting them.” They sounded so defeated. 

“And? They gave you another chance. Keep trying to be better and eventually, you will be. Again, Jay, I don’t like you, but it’s obvious you don’t either. We have something in common now and I think Katie would like it if you stayed. So do that. Be better.”

“You want me to hang out with you and Katie?”

“I think that is what he’s saying,” Katie replied with a beaming smile.

“Want is a strong word.” Adam smirked. Why did guys have hot smirks? It made Nick want Jamie to smirk more.

“Oh, shut up, you.”

“Make me,” Adam teased.

Jamie squeezed Nick’s hand to get his attention. The other two kept flirting, but Nick couldn’t hear them, not when he was reminded that he was holding his partner’s hand. 

“Do you want to hang out with them?”

“I think it’s a better option than being around Ben.” He was hoping Jamie wouldn’t notice that he was blushing. 

“I guess. We could just go to the tree though. Just the two of us.” A wink. A god damn wink.

“I, uh, think it’s better we stay here.”

“Okay.” Why did they have to look so good while smirking?