<02:10 PM>

…Do I really have to tried these clothes? Are they trying to do something to me? I don’t want any part in that, I don’t want that, I just want to live without having to deal with anyone, yet she’s so insistent I having me come along… I don’t want to deal with whatever they’re dealing with, I just want to stay alone, forget everything that happened… the things… done to me, all of it, I don’t want to recount anything, it’s so painful, it’s scary, I don’t want to deal with anyone, I don’t want that to happen again, I don’t want to deal with anything, please just leave me alone, I don’t need your help, just leave me alone, leave me alone, leave me alone, leave me alo-

“Chris?”

“Eeek!” W-What does she want?

“Start trying these clothes out already, I’m already wearing them” ...Yes, she is doing that, just a one piece dress, nothing to it, but why do I have to do that? I don’t want to bother with anything.

“You look so much better in it than the last time this happened, in hindsight this is quite a coincidence, who would think you would wear something like this again?” The mom said… I don’t know or care any of that, do I really have to?

“Come on now Chris, don’t you feel uncomfortable right now? I know it’s not exactly something you tried before, but come on, open yourself up and stop curling in a ball or whatever you’re doing, it’s not helping” …I don’t… just… leave me alone… 

…

“Come on now”

*Tap*

!!! D-Don’t do that!

“Seriously, you really need some therapy, but come on now, try them out” She handed me a dark blue dress and some girl stuffs, I don’t want to deal with any of it… why does she have to keep helping me out? Why? What have I ever done? Is this a trick? Am I going to be… abused again? Is that’s her motive? I don’t want to deal with any of that, just stop, I won’t go along with your plan, I won’t get exploited like that, I won’t try them out like you want.

“I think maybe she need a… well, maybe a more forceful approach?”

“Mom! She got… assaulted, you can’t just do that!”

“Oh… well, I don’t know how else are we supposed to deal with her then” Just stop, I just want all of it to end, I don’t want or need help. I just want all of this to be the end…

“Well, if she doesn’t want to then that’s fine, I don’t want to force her, it’s just not right”

“Then now what?”

“Hmmm… oh! The others! I don’t know if they’re fine or not, I should phone them or something, if this still works” 

…

“Hello? It’s me Thomas… Y-Yeah I’m fine, you don’t have to shout at me like that… What about your group? Is everyone fine over there?... Well that’s good to hear, I’m at home with Chris and my mom right now, who actually got changed… yeah it’s quite something, she’s a loli now… Yeah I’m completely serious, anyway where are you guys?... Elena’s house? I’ll be careful staying there if I were you, her parents have really bad attitude, especially around each other, Elena is absolutely not fine because of that… It certainly is, you better watch out for them, I’m serious, also the heck are you guys doing at this point… I see, as for me mom have us try out dresses… Well to be more specific, Chris really can’t with how she is right now, really need to get her check up, also make sure to checks up on others as well, I really have to go back and deal with her… Don’t have to tell me twice, make sure you guys stay safe as well okay?... Okay then, good luck… Actually, I just thought of something, why don’t you all come here to my place? The more of us together the merrier after all, and you don’t have to deal with them… if that’s what you want then sure you can come, I’ll see you later then…” 

“Look, I know you have a bad time, but please don’t forget about other people trying to help you, not everyone is like that you know?” Thomas’ mom said, even if that’s true that doesn’t mean she’s the only one, any of you could possibly be like that… thing… 

“Just… leave me alone” I said… I really don’t want to deal with anything anymore, I don’t want to… it might happen again, please stop speaking to me, I don’t want to deal with whatever you’re doing to me. 

“Please stop being like that” ...No matter how you say it… I won’t… I don’t know what to do to stop anyway…

“Leave me alone, leave me alone, leave me alone… stop trying” I said. I really don’t want to deal with any of this.

“...You need help, you should know that, and I’m that help, I alright said so before, and I’m not backing down” ...What have I ever done to make you so persistent? Just leave me alone you… always get along with everyone.

“Just stop, I just to want to end everything” 

“And that’s not I want to hear, why can’t you just… let it go? We’re not gonna hurt you, or let anyone else do it” ...Then why weren’t you there? Where did all of you go? Why did this have to happen to me? Just one action and everything is hell, this world is a living hell.

“I don’t want to hear… any of that! Like any of you can do anything!” That thing is indescribable, I don’t want to deal with something like that again, something like that is probably everywhere now, I don’t want to deal with any of that, why can’t the world just explode already!

“We can, and we will, whatever is out there, we’ll deal with it” Yet all we can do is run, there’s nothing any of us can do, there’s nothing in it for me, there’s nothing but chaos and death, I should’ve just thrown myself in there and maybe things will solve itself out. 

“There’s nothing left for me, just leave me as is, just go away!” I lashed out, I don’t want to care about what happened next, I don’t care about any of that, just as long as these haunting memories go away then maybe… everything will stop looking so twisted… I don’t even really know what’s wrong with me, I just want it to end, end it all. Why must they all look at me, pity me like this! I’m just a guy… which I’m not anymore, and I don’t want to deal with it either… I’m just a guy who try acting flirtatious with every girl I meet since maybe it’ll do something, maybe someone will care for me if I do that, I know some might think it’s annoying, but I genuinely say what I feel, I’m doing it because I don’t really have any clue to what to do… and everything… in the end… it doesn’t really make anything better… I’m punished for it… severely, and I don’t care about any of that anymore, I just want to stop doing anything else that could put me in the same situation again, I don’t want any of that!

“I care, I care about you, about everyone, why can’t you see that!? All I have done for my entire life is to care for others, why can’t you open up? Why can’t I help? Even if it kills me I’ll go through with it, heck I won’t let something like death stop me!” Why do you have to care about everything… the one who always get everything, why am I at your mercy like this? Receiving nothing but empty pity.

“I know you are jealous of me, but that doesn’t mean anything to me, if there’s someone who needs help, I’ll help them, so what if I have everything? I’m not satisfied with just that! I want everyone to be fulfilled as I am! I want not just myself to be happy, but others as well! Make the world a better place! I know it’s a stupid dream, but I genuinely wants that, and making sure it’s true, I want my friends to all be happy, that includes you as well!” 

“...I can’t understand… someone like you”

“Doesn’t mean a damn thing to me, as long as you’re fine again, doesn’t matter how you’ll think of me before or afterward, as long as you’re like this, I won’t let you off the hook, I’ll save you, I’ll save every last one of you! Even if it kills me!” Such a blasphemous statement, I don’t want to hear anything about it, honestly she creeped me out… but maybe she’s honest… just maybe… no… no way it’s that simple

“Just what the hell are you hiding? If you want something from me, I don’t want to hear it, just go away” 

“I’m not hiding anything, I’m just someone who help others no matter the cost, I will absolutely not let anyone in my sight be so miserable, I’ll make them snap out of it! That’s enough for me, and all that I’ve said, I can tell you with absolutely certainty, is the truth” ...Why do I even bother trying to argue against her in the first place? She just won’t back down, and most likely never will. She just can’t let me go… how long must I put up with her? I really don’t want to deal with any of this and she’s dragging me right along… maybe I should just resign myself to whatever she wants from me at this point, things could be a lot worse and all that, just do whatever to me and get it over with.

“...Fine, I’ll let you help me or whatever” I dismissively said, I really hope all of this end soon.

“I won’t let you fall into despair or depression or whatever, I’ll make sure you’re cured from any of that real soon” She confidently said… honestly she is truly bothersome, truly bothersome, so many bothersome thing, and I have to deal with it all now, nothing to be my solace…

“I’ll be your solace, remember that” ...Huh? Did she just said that?... No, maybe I’m just imagining things… yeah… like she’ll actually help me to the very end...