001 It Begins Again
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Tell everyone that this story is up for the Anniversary contest. The story with the most readers by April First, wins! Please, help me win this!

I was in the middle of moving a huge chunk of rock when a summoning circle started to form underneath me. I immediately took out my cell phone and hit the button. A message was sent to my accountant to liquefy all of the assets I had, including the company I had worked so hard to build, and everything was to be deposited into a high interest and no movement account. If it wasn't done as soon as possible, then he would suffer unimaginable horrors, as would his family, for the rest of their lives.

I put the phone back into my inventory and waited for the ritual to complete. It finished forming and I felt the familiar feeling of being yanked out of one existence and shoved into another. I popped up beside a very beautiful woman that had long flowing blonde hair. I identified her and saw that she hadn't received her class yet.

I hate waiting for this part. It always takes forever. I thought and looked around. I was in a space that wasn't space and two more people were there. A man and another woman. Neither of them had classes, either. I hope I'm not stuck with complete idiots this time.

“Welcome, travellers.” A woman's voice filled the non-space. “You have been chosen by...”

Blah blah blah. Come on. Hurry up! I've got things to do. I thought impatiently and managed to not sigh, cross my arms, or tap my foot as I waited for her to stop speaking and to give us our classes.

The woman's voice paused and a glowing figure formed in the air in front of us. “It seems one of you is actually eager for this to happen.”

I didn't even try to pretend that it wasn't me. “I'm sorry that you picked up on my frustration, great Goddess.” I said and bowed deeply. I spoke sincerely and she had to feel that. “The sooner we arrive on the imperilled world, the sooner we can start working towards saving it, as you have asked.”

She floated over to me. “Shall I give you your class and send you there first?” She asked, her voice full of disbelief, as if she thought I wasn't stupid enough to accept that offer.

Little did she know that was exactly what I wanted. “Thank you, Goddess. I gladly accept your generous offer.” I said and stood up straight to give her the best smile that I could muster. I knew time worked differently between the realms and she could have us here for months while she assigned the proper classes to everyone.

“Do you really want to die so quickly?” She asked, incredulous. The other three people looked at me like I was crazy, too.

“Of course not. I just assumed that you grant classes based on our proficiency and give us a bit of money from the chosen world to buy equipment.” I said, also completely truthful. “Like you said earlier, I am eager to get there.”

“You are an odd one.” She said and held a hand out to me. “Remain still while I grant you an appropriate class.”

“Thank you.” I said and used Stillness to freeze myself in place. She either didn't notice or chose to ignore that I was perfectly still. Her energy poured into me in a familiar magic wave and I felt all my old abilities awaken. Like stacks of blocks that you needed to knock over to get at the next row, each level of my skills activated and more of her power flowed into me.

Her eyes widened at the amount of her power that granting my class was using up and I saw doubt flicker in her eyes. I instantly reached out and grabbed her hand with both of mine.

“Just a bit more, Sweetheart. You can feel it coming, can't you?” I asked in my bedroom voice and her face flushed red as she blushed. Her power output doubled and I took in a huge breath as my depleted mana reserves were filled instantly and the final lock on my class clicked open.

The Goddess gasped when she saw what my class was and she tried to pull her hand away.

I held on and bent over to place a kiss on the back of her hand and she blushed harder. “Thank you, Goddess Jasindia.” I said when my Auto-Identifier told me her name and stats. I let her hand go. “Please open the portal to the world you want me to save.”

Goddess Jasindia was tempted to refuse, then she sighed and waved her hand. The portal opened and when she turned back to wave me through, I gave her a kiss on the lips for several seconds. She froze at the intimate contact, something she hadn't had in centuries because none of the gods and goddesses were interested in sex after millions of years.

“Just because you've felt it before, that doesn't mean it will feel any less wonderful the next time.” I said to her, then I jumped through the portal. I didn't travel down a tunnel or felt like space was ripping apart when I did. I just instantly appeared on the world and saw that I was several hundred feet up from the ground, which made me laugh. “I probably should have kissed her before she opened the portal.”

I checked my inventory and saw that all of the mythical things I had were no longer greyed out. I equipped my full set of enchanted mithril armor that had all previous requirements for wearing it removed. That had been one of my more brilliant moves on the last world I had been summoned to. It had cost a lot of gold to have it done and it was worth every single coin.

I was only level 1 now and I wore a level 999 super-heavy armor with all the stat bonuses and boosts that could be put onto it. “This is going to be so... much... fun!” I said as I flipped over just before I hit the ground. I had the special skill Featherfall, so I touched down as if I had been a feather that had fallen to the ground and not several hundred pounds of metal with two hundred pounds of flesh inside.

____

Congratulations! You have earned an achievement: Plunge to my Death. This is granted to those that drop from a significant height that no one would ever expect you to survive (not even a Goddess).
This grants you bonus skills: Daredevil (gain experience from defying death), Reckless (risk everything for a thrill to gain experience).

____

Damn, there goes having too much fun until I level up with something big. I thought with a laugh. Those bonuses should stack nicely when I do something really fun.

I had seen a town not far away when I was up so high, so I turned in that direction and started to walk. I was tempted to run, especially with my armor boosting me; but, I didn't want to waste my first levels like that. I also didn't want to land inside the town, since that would have been a bit too much of a spectacle. I didn't want to give myself away so soon.

An hour later, I walked into town. No guards came out to meet me and there didn't seem to be much of any kind of military. Actually, everyone there wore hoods that covered their heads and scarves that covered their faces. I concentrated on one and the info popped up.

____

Name: Unpronounceable in Common - It's just grunts and squeals
Species: Bovinus Humanus
Class: Livestock
Job: Food

____

What... what the hell? I thought in surprise.

I checked several others and they were the same. I walked all through the town and every single one was the same. Men, women, and children. All of them were classed as Livestock. I reached out to touch one and the female squealed in fright and took off running. I was shocked at her reaction, so I went back to the center of town, activated one of my armor's abilities, and spoke.

“If anyone can speak common, please tell me what's going on here.” I said and my voice was spread out magically to everyone within a hundred feet.

Every single one of them squealed in fright and ran away.

“What the hell is going on?” I asked loudly.

No one answered.

I shook my head and walked towards the edge of town. I noted the several people following me and didn't say anything to them. I kept walking and soon left the followers and the town behind. I tried a search spell and it was rebounded by something, which meant I was probably going to have to calibrate my armor for the local variant of mana, once I discovered what it was. It would auto-adjust in time if I wanted to wait, or as soon as I leveled up and added a point or two to the mana stat.

Since I didn't want to waste my bonuses on a low level, I decided to let the armor do the calibration on its own. While I walked an unknown distance to the next town, I let my mind drift back to what life was like before.

I wasn't always this eager for adventure...

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