More importantly, I wonder how much of these thoughts he decides to cut from the story.
There's no way he'd let me get my emotions across if all I did was swear, nor if I simply just collapsed on a bed and cried. He wants a story, and even if I stall, he'll just skip over the unnecessary details.
Though, it is also true that I'm the one telling the story right now. It wouldn't be that hard to make up some random story and finally have privacy.
I could finally be-
Would I really be alone?
Now that I think about it, its kind of weird.
When I'm truly alone, that would mean no one else knows what I've done. It would be an action you never directly read about.
And since I'm only here because you've imagined me here, would that mean... I would never have existed to do so?
I guess by your standards, no. Frankly, I'd never alive. Being alive means I would have to be moving. I can see myself walking and you can imagine me doing so but at the very essence? These words? They're static.
Even when deciding whether or not to do something, isn't there ultimately only one outcome?
I, at this moment, won't know what I'll do, but it's so easy for you to find out. Just keep reading.
Or, if there's something you forgot about, just go back in the story to reread it. The story won't change. It's the same thing, over and over again. The only difference is that at this moment, I don't know where I'll go.
Then, these choices.
Do they really even... matter?
The spills from earlier are entirely gone from the laboratory floors.
It's kind of surprising since some of those solutions looked pretty hazardous. Was it magic or something..?
Alice keeps working, deeply engrossed in her "likely an attempt to make a transformation potion" project.
Guess I'll wait.
Though there's not much to do while waiting.
I let my gaze drift across the room. Lab animals, cabinets, beakers, herbs, weird crystals, there's actually a lot of stuff in here.
It's kind of like an alchemist's lair.
All this work and setup, it's pretty amazing that she did this all by herself.
But did she actually do it?
The effort put in to set all this up would've taken years, possibly decades, but the effort to just write it out? Hundreds of times more manageable. Just say that it happened, and it happened.
So between the two actions, which one should I acknowledge?
The experiment concludes with the test subjects being fed the finished recipe. Each subject responds differently, but none of them appear to have been a success. Alice records them one by one, and after each transformation ends, she disposes of it.
About the second one, she says something to me.
"Hm? Oh... Yeah, I'm back."
She finishes recording the third one. "You were gone for a while."
Amidst the shrieking of the fourth vict- test subject, she throws out a question. "Did something happen in there?"
"You were in there for two days."
"Really? I was?"
"Yes. Knocking didn't work."
What did happen in there?
I stand myself up from the chair, "I need a bit more time to think about it. I'll be in the room I made if you need me."
A small depression forms as I roll towards the ceiling on the bed.
'Did something happen in there.'
I mean, yes. Something did actually happen. But, It's not like just knowing that would affect what happens to me. All it did was change how I view this whole thing, this whole life.
I'm still here, and I doubt my death is planned for any time soon.
There's practically no reason to be worried since I'm a main character. At the end of the day, I'll probably still be one.
I should be hopeful. I should be happy to experience all these new things for myself. Yet, I know what sent me here.
It's not magic, or mystery, or something I'll eventually be able to master. That's literally impossible. It's out of my grasp, and there's nothing I can do.
Every time I focus on that simple truth, my motivation, it just dies.
So what should I do?
Or, right now, what can, I do?
I guess I could look over this again...
There aren't any significant changes in the status menu, besides a new table popping up called "Contracts."
Opening it, as expected, has Alice listed as the first and only contractee. Nothing's off about the terms and conditions, and the contract duration's listed as permanent. Below is a "Terms of Annulment," but there isn't anything notable.
Starting from the top of the Dungeon section, there's a status menu listing my age, type, classification. It's just an assumption, but I'm pretty sure my rank...
Next up would be this speaker system.
I can't think of any uses besides taunting those random main characters that recklessly charge into dungeons when it could have been the perfect timing for a surprise attack.
Besides, the only people in this dungeon right now are the girl and the monsters littered throughout the upper floors.
It's kind of lonely.
"Hey, Alice? Could you come over here for a bit?"