Kotohood

Bonus chapter after a 1-week break. Also, a gift for all of you who are at home due to lockdown orders. Enjoy!

Chapter 41: Finding My Worth

On a chair in a medical tent was Yuupiecca who was holding his arm. His bandages had gotten quite dirty and were in need of change. He tried calling out to the other medical staff within the tent but they didn't respond as they were too busy with other things— he wasn’t the priority for them. He let out a sigh as he waited for them to finish whatever they were doing. 

Medica had told Yuupiecca that he was very lucky that his arm was alright. She told him that the attack, although deep, missed his arteries and his muscle structure. His wound was expected to be healed within a month or two. He didn’t have to stay in bed like his previous visits, but the fear of infection was real so Medica ordered him to come back once in a while to get a change of clean bandages. It was imperative that he cleans the wound to minimize exposure.

As he waited at the chair, came a certain Succour to his side. She brought with her a chair as well, setting it and sitting next to Yuupiecca. It was a wingless Succour. 

Lina. 

“Bring out your arm," she said with a serious tone.

Yuupiecca was rather confused at her sudden appearance. He didn’t know what she intended to do. 

“I’ll change your bandages for you," she said to Yuupiecca, having seen his confused expression.

“...you know. You shouldn’t be doing things without the know-how, you’ll just make it worse. I can wait for the other medics,” Yuupiecca said, not trusting in her abilities.

Lina only replied by smacking him in the head with her tail. “Bring it out,” she demanded Yuupiecca. It didn’t hurt or anything, it was just a light tap, but the message was there. She won't take no for an answer.

With a reluctant feeling, Yuupiecca brought his arm out towards the Succour. He observed Lina slowly taking out the old bandages out from his arm and braced himself for any screw-ups. It may be a wound from a few weeks ago, but it still hurts. Especially if one touches the wound directly.

To his surprise, it didn’t hurt at all; rather it felt oddly calm and satisfying. It was like his hands were being touched by cotton. Lina skillfully took out the old bandages and put on some sort of ointment on his wounds. Her hands glowed red all the way. It was as if she was applying some sort of magic on the cut. Once done, she carefully took a new pair of bandages and wrapped it over the cut, slowly and carefully.

It turned out that the Succour named as Lina was rather good at this kind of stuff.

“You… are pretty good at this,” Yuupiecca said, a slight hint of amazement in his voice.

“I can’t say for the other Succours but to maintain one’s beauty, one must know how to retain their health. I went to medical school for training before this,” Lina replied as she meticulously wrapped Yuupiecca’s arm.

The two then went into an awkward silence. Yuupiecca took this time to observe the said Succour. Compared to the Lina a few weeks ago, this Lina looked to be doing much better. She seemed to be eating well now as can be seen on her skin which has now regained its soft and supple texture. Her thin and malnourished body was nowhere to be found— though it could very well be hidden under her clothing. She no longer chose to wear a revealing outfit but opted for a more modest attire that covered her entire body. 

Although modest, it did very little to hide her more alluring figure which can be seen bulging out of the cloth. Apparently, she had trimmed her hair further. She cut off the loose and untidy part of it and maintained a short shoulder-length hair that somehow still accentuated her beauty. Yuupiecca then realised that she had been moping around less. She could be seen walking around the medical tent more and helping out here and there. She has also been attending the officers meeting more recently, though she never talks.

‘That would explain why Medica was very happy recently,’ Yuupiecca thought to himself. The captain known as Scuttlelinaria was slowly making a recovery from her trauma. Yuupiecca wondered what happened to cause the Succour to do such a radical change. The last time he talked to her, she was wallowing in self-defeat, telling him that she wanted to die. He then remembered the event where he slapped her in the face. Twice. A little bit of shame came up to Yuupiecca. His father had often told him not to hit a woman.

Yuupiecca shifted his body before looking at Lina, breaking the silence. “Um… I’m am uhh… sorry about the other day. I didn’t mean to slap you like that in Prashyufa.”

Lina didn’t reply for a while, leaving the two in another moment of silence.

“...it hurts you know. That was the first time someone actually did that to me. Hitting a Succour in the face is a taboo among Ak’hims. You will get scorned from all the Succours,” she said after a long wait.

“Oh… yeah, so—”

Yuupiecca was cut off. “But it hurts, even more, knowing that you were right," Lina brought her head up to stare at Yuupiecca’s eyes.

“I said I wanted to die, and yet, I didn’t dare to bring myself to end it…. I said I was worthless; yet, I didn't do anything but do just that— being worthless. I was just making excuses for myself. Your words woke me up.  You were right. I still got hands and feet. I still got my life. There is still something that I can do. That’s why I asked Medica to see if I could help around the triage.”

Lina then let out a small smile. “You should have seen her reaction when I brought it up to her. I’m ashamed of myself. She still looks up to me so much. I... want to be a person that she can continue to respect. That’s why I’m not going to sit around and do nothing anymore. I may be worthless at this moment, but I’m going to find it. My own worth,” Lina said to Yuupiecca, her eyes never moving away from Yuupiecca’s eyes. Her voice filled with determination.

“...” Yuupiecca only stared back. Although his face had all sorts of emotions in it, he had nothing to say.

It was around this time that Lina finished wrapping his arm. Lina then drew a deep breath. There was something else she wanted to say to Yuupiecca. 

“Yuupie! Check out what I got from one of the children!”

However, before Lina could say those words, Poi barged into the tent. She saw Yuupiecca and immediately went right up to him, giving him a small hug. A hug which was pushed away by the Analyst.

“What?” Yuupiecca asked with an annoyed tone.

“Nothing. I just want to know how you are doing. That’s all. By the way, here's one for you!” Poi handed him a small red box.

Yuupiecca gave her a weird look before opening the small box. Inside it was a nicely decorated hairpin. It had butterfly ornaments and seemed to be very feminine in nature.

“The children said they found it on the floor in Prashyufa. I thought you might want to have one. Suitable for a wimp like you. Keh keh,” she let out a small mocking laugh.

“See, I have one too!” Poi moved her head to side and showed that she was wearing a similar hairpin.

“What the hell did you just call me?” Yuupiecca stood up, feeling even more annoyed at Poi.

“A wimp! Since you are always in the medical tent! Well, unlike you, I got work to do. I hope you get well, Yuupie,” Poi brought out her tongue before running away from the tent.

“I’m not—” Yuupiecca wanted to yell some obscene words at her, but held back and swallowed it. He then took a deep breath before sitting down back on the chair. “That little rascal…”

Lina, who was basically ignored for the entire exchange, witnessed the whole thing. At first glance, the two seemed to hate each other; though one could tell that they were definitely close. Lina didn’t know why, but she felt a little bit down seeing the two Analysts talk like that.

Yuupiecca let out a sigh before looking at the hairpin in his hands. He then closed the box before giving it to Lina. “Here, you can have it.” 

Lina was shocked to know that he would give the hairpin to her. “Is, is this okay?”

“Hmm? Yeah, it’s fine. Poi always makes fun of me. I refuse to wear it and satisfy her feelings. Might as well give it to someone else rather than throwing it away,” Yuupiecca replied.

“No… I mean she came all the way here to give it to you. It is really alright for you to give away something your lover gave to you?” Lina asked.

Excluding Lina, Yuupiecca had been in the tent for the longest time after all. She did not miss the fact that Poi would visit Yuupiecca in the infirmary almost every day. Most of the time to disturb him, but she would always leave wishing that Yuupiecca would do fine and recover fast. They both also seemed to have no qualms touching each other and showing some skinship. Rather, at least Poi wasn’t too bothered by it.

To her surprise, what came onto Yuupiecca’s face was a look of disgust and revolt. His body shivered as he hugged himself. “Please don’t say that. It grosses me out. She's my younger sister.”

A bigger look of shock appeared on Lina’s face. Her eyes widened and she put her hand over her mouth to hide the fact that it was opened. 

“Yeah, I know. We don’t look alike.  She’s born much much much later than me; when I've basically became an adult. My parents always wanted a daughter. Guess they got it. A super annoying one,” Yuupiecca replied. It was as if he saw this response many times before.

Having explained the situation to Lina, he let out a yawn. “I should get some rest. I’m going back to the barracks. Thanks for doing my bandages by the way. Glad to see you are doing alright too,” Yuupiecca said before handing over the box to Lina who slowly took it from his hands. He then waved goodbye and walked out of the tent.

Lina continued to stare at his back until the moment he left. She then brought the box to her chest and let out a smile. She was unnaturally happy for some reason. A sense of relief came over her accompanied by some warm fuzzy feeling in her chest.