garden

Happy Lunar New Year!

The sun shine softly from the tall window by the reading nook made just for Rachel in the House Mathias’ library. Since the Duke and the Duchess were generous, everyone was allowed to spend the time to read here. No matter if they’re the servant of the house, or the friends or families of theirs. The Duchess occasionally would invite random ladies of her social circle to have a book club, and thus would be the most frequent occupier of the library. The servants paid back their gratitude of letting them read freely by cleaning and cataloging the hundreds of books and maps. Cataloging was made by listing the titles and authors down on paper in order of its procurement, by the way. It would be so much better if they’re such a thing as a computer in this world.

Computer.

Rachel’s quill stopped moving from being using the feather part to softly tap her cheeks. That’s one of the words not in this world. It probably came from that strange dream from before, she thought.

She didn’t remember when it first appeared in her mind, but aside from having memories of living the same life as Rachel el’Mathias over and over again, she had a faint memory of living somewhere else not in Caledonia. Not in this current world. Where she remembered having seeing tall buildings made of steel that seemed to reach the sky, where a giant bird made of steel so casually flying across the heavens. With so many people around her, walking in every other direction, on a street that was way too smooth where noisy machines with people inside raced on them.

Rachel didn’t remember who or what she was in that strange noisy world, or where and when was that, but she knew she had lived there. Perhaps before she became Rachel in this world. Sometimes she would say specific words that didn’t exist in this world and she knew it came from that faint dream. For all she knew, she might have been a stray cat; there’s nothing else she remembers that could make it for certain. All Rachel knew for certain was that the person she was in that world lived their life alone. Spending the weeks in the prison in her previous life while looking out the small window from her jail made her nostalgic. The person she was in that faint dream of another world must have spent their life looking out the night sky in silent solitude like this. Perhaps she was capable of calmly accepting her death then because of the memory.

Jenny was still standing a few steps away from where she lay cross-legged on the soft pillow of her reading nook, as the girl had been for an hour now. Rachel slightly lifted up her chin over the notebook she was writing on to peer at the girl. She looked distraught. Good. Since she walked in here to call for her to tell her that it’s time for lunch, Rachel ordered her to wait. The tall short haired girl already knew Rachel’s preference to have no lunch if she had breakfast, so it’s entirely the girl’s own prerogative to dare to ask out of courtesy. Everyone in this manor knew Rachel’s habit of skipping meals, so why Jenny would still be here?

The answer was obvious. She had to mend the relationship with Rachel. That someone who gave the orders to Jenny emphasized on the importance of her gaining absolute trust of Rachel.

I can’t believe they had been involved with all of this so early.

“Is there anything you wish to tell me, Jenny?”

Rachel went back to her writing, but at the same time looking at the changes in Jenny’s expression as the girl worked her brain to respond.

“M-my Lady… I didn’t mean to- “

“You didn’t mean to steal from me? What did you meant to do then?”

“I… I have… I need money for- “

“Everyone in this damn world needs money, why are you so special that you had to steal from your master?”

“I’m sorr- “

Rachel slammed her fist onto the small table besides her where a pot of tea and a single set of teacup rests. It rattled violently but thankfully it didn’t break. She clamped her jaw tight and breath slowly. Her anger rose very easily it seems whenever she heard an apology. Especially from Jenny.

She stared at the tall girl, now shaking visibly and biting her thumb as it was her habit when stressed. Her eyes were red and watery. She was about to say something again when Rachel cut her off. The longer she holds this up, the angrier Rachel’s going to be. She really didn’t want to thrash this lovely reading area and the books here with her rage.

“You have two choice, Jenny. One, keep working here but surrender ¾ of your monthly pay to me to pay back for all my dresses and jewelries you have stolen, until the day you reach retiring age. Or two…”

Jenny, despite will be betraying Rachel in the far future, was the only one Rachel saw as a friend. A sister. A soulmate. Someone Rachel would not hesitate to protect even when the whole world was against them. Jenny taught her a lot of how to navigate one’s way into society, as well as shown her how to have fun. It was fun, all those trips to the city. It was fun to spend; it was fun to try on all the dresses and look at the pretty stones decorate your head; it was fun to run around and laugh as they talk about everything that didn't matter.

It was fun.

But was it all just because she wanted to, or because she was placed here as her maid to act as a hired eyes and ears?

Her words, her actions, the feelings Jenny had shown to Rachel… were they all in honesty or was directed to do as such?

Rachel could feel a dull thud inside her heart, as if an important piece of herself just dropped down and died. Never forgive, never forget. Never ever trust again.

“… or leave the manor now. Don’t ever let me see you again.”